A Garden of Roses

Chapter 5

Rain song

So beautiful, my dear

Overcome

Drives me crazy.

Sunny Day Real Estate, 8

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Robin knew, somewhere, that he oughtn't to be doing this. He felt Raven tense momentarily in his unexpected arms and then he felt her relax completely into him, her petite form pressing against him and her own slim arms reciprocating with a strength he would not have believed of them. He let everything go, let fly the knowledge that she was his patient, that she was most likely completely insane, that he had known this girl for only a few days….And yet he couldn't rid himself of the notion that he had known her from somewhere. She was the melody you hear once when you're a small child, and then, years later, struggle to recall.

This is what Raven had been waiting for. Finally, did he see her? Finally, did he remember? She pulled him to her, rejoicing in the moment, deeply inhaling his scent, the same she knew from their intimate nights in the past. Her ear rested against his chest and she could feel the stable beating of his heart: Oh, Robin, steady Robin… "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered. "I've missed you so." He didn't hear her. She encircled her arms around him and pulled herself closer to him, wanting to absorb him, wanting to break away a piece of him and keep him with her forever, no matter what happened.

Now, his grip around her was loosening….He looked down at her, his face barely inches from her own…she half-closed her eyes in anticipation, instinctively leaning forward….He was about to kiss her, she knew he was going to, but the pressure of another's mouth on hers didn't come and she opened her eyes in annoyance at the tentative knocking at the door.

Robin was still looking slightly entranced, although he had quickly released her and straightened his coat. Raven sat down in an armchair opposite him and when this set up was complete, Robin called for the visitor to come in.

It was Gizmo. Robin looked in surprise at the boy, who was usually employed in the recesses of the circuit system, but that wasn't what caught his attention most. The usually impudent Gizmo was looking scared out of his wits. "S-Slade for you, sir," he gasped, and Robin thought he must have been running. Robin swore; Slade really had got eyes everywhere, and he had ruined his time with Raven.

"I'm coming," Robin said quickly, standing up. Gizmo positively fled, and Robin looked apologetically at Raven. "Duty calls…"

"Yes, that does sound like Slade," Raven replied, trying to steady herself from their near-kiss.

"Really? How would you have characterized him?" Robin said, interested. He knew the seconds he was talking with Raven would cost him when he arrived late for Slade.

Raven smirked. "Sadistic sociopath who believes murder is the answer to everything sounds about right," she said.

Robin laughed. "Hasn't changed, then," he said, keeping to himself the fact that sadism and sociopathy are mutually exclusive. "Well—" he shrugged and made a motion that suggested hanging—"Slade'll have my head if I'm not there in the next five seconds so…." Raven nodded. Right. "I'll be leaving, then," and his hand gripped the handle, his shoulder pushed slightly against the door, and he turned his wrist slightly.

And then he disappeared, leaving Raven to sink onto her bed and place wondering fingertips to her lips. They had almost kissed, she was sure of it. She was filled with a painful excitement that pushed out at her, so she felt she couldn't hold it in, as though her skin would surely stretch and then finally break and then maybe she would be free.

It wasn't supposed to have been like this. Robin had kissed her so many times before. But now it was like he was falling in love with her all over again….He had only the barest recollection, if any, of their previous relationship….Raven didn't want to start all over! Sudden tears of frustration pressed at the backs of her eyes but furiously she blinked them away.

She had worked so hard to gain sufficient control over her emotions that a single kiss would not set the entire T-Tower alight with flames. She had worked through the heartbreak Malchior had left her to open herself, if even just a little bit, again, to Robin. And then—she had been so patient, waiting for Robin to come to her. She had watched quietly from the side as Starfire kept approaching him, threw herself at him; blinked only once when she heard they had kissed. Oh yes, Raven had been quite the good girl, staying pure for Robin, throwing off Beast Boy, because she had known that one day Robin would come for her like the knights in the old stories.

Raven was never one for the sort of flamboyant romance that Starfire indulged herself in, but a quiet and deep one suited her just fine.

Raven and Robin had kept their relationship secret for many months—almost a year—not out of any consideration for Starfire or Beast Boy or even Cyborg, but more from a tacit agreement to not have it known. There was no need for the whole world to know, when they had each other. The other Titans hadn't suspected at all; Raven and Robin were discreet. Raven was able to school her face into its usual bland expression, and the mask hid Robin's eyes anyway, so it didn't matter for him so much. They still fought well during battle, neither one taking extra care of the other if one was hurt.

It had been Cyborg who had finally discovered them. Apparently prowling for a midnight snack, he saw them curled together on the sofa in the main room. They were quiet, but Cyborg was sharp, and heard the low giggles and whispered words. He hadn't been angry, exactly, Raven thought, reflecting on that night. He had ample reason to be angry: the two of them seemingly rubbing in his face the fact that he hadn't any girlfriend, and that they had kept something from the team at large—they were, after all, family—but he'd just shrugged, wondered why they were keeping their relationship secret, chosen himself a huge sandwich from the refrigerator, and gone back to sleep.

Cyborg didn't say anything more, and acted normally towards them, but two days after the incident, over breakfast, Raven and Robin announced that they were together. And had been, for ten months. They had been expecting Starfire and Beast Boy to be upset—after all, Robin and Raven had rejected one of them, respectively, for each other—but those two had their own surprise announcement to make. The two of them had been going out for some time, it seemed. They had been clever; they were so proud of themselves that no one had noticed.

……………….

An uncharacteristic sort of shyness overcame Jinx as she approached the desk where Cyborg sat. He was at the computer, working or not, she couldn't tell. Why was she even coming to him?

"Pen," she mumbled, and took one from the canister on the desk. Cyborg looked up, startled, for a moment, and Jinx shuffled away quickly. Crazy chick, he thought, before returning to the monitor screen.

Out of his field of vision, Jinx slumped against a wall. She hated herself for being so….pathetic. Clutching the pen tightly (it was just a pretense, she hadn't needed one at all) she stalked off down the hallway. She heard repressed moans coming from a broom closet on her left side and she jerked the door open, only to find:

"Star?" Jinx yelled in surprise. "And….Beast Boy?" The two sprang apart guiltily, Star hurriedly straightening her white blouse and skirt, and Beast Boy re-buttoning his shirt. "I don't believe this," Jinx said in a voice of calm that belied her disbelief. "I really don't believe this." Normally, she would have been amused, but for some reason she felt anger well up inside her, and though she tried to squash it, it was hardy, and would not be so easily restrained.

"Oh…please Jinx, don't yell so loudly!" Star pleaded with her friend, wringing her hands in nervousness. "It is almost a certainty that this is not allowed!" Star cried. Jinx snorted.

"Well done, hunny," said Jinx scathingly. "Illicit dalliances between nurse and patient? It's unheard of!" Starfire and Beast Boy stood looking at her with fear clearly showing in their faces. Again, Jinx felt anger inside her that the two were too stupid, too spineless to do something for themselves. Throwing her hands up in frustration, she gave in. "Fine," she said. "I won't tell anyone…this time. But you'd better stay on my good side," she said suddenly, leaning toward them, "or else you might find that my tongue accidentally…slipped."

Beast Boy made his escape quickly, mumbling something about seeing Cyborg. Jinx shook her head at Starfire. "Jinx, I am…sorry?" Star ventured.

Jinx let out a frustrated sigh. "You can't do this," she said, a little more harshly than the occasion warranted. "It could have been anyone who found you two out. It could've been Slade!"

"I—I hadn't thought of—"

"Just…don't think of doing this again," Jinx said. Star nodded vigorously. "If you must, do it off St. Agnes's property." Again, more vigorous nods. "Now…come help me medicate Floor 3."

………………..

"Doctor Robin," Slade said, as Robin slipped inside the other's office. Slade's autonomic voice took him by surprise: He had never heard Slade initiate an office conversation.

"Sir?" Robin replied. He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"Did I, or did I not, warn you to stay away from Raven?" said Slade, actually getting up from his leather chair and leaning forward on his mahogany desk.

Raven's description of him flashed into Robin's mind suddenly and he tried to repress a smile. "You did."

"And are you incapable of understanding English, or are you too thick to comprehend what I was saying?" Slade demanded. Robin took an involuntary step back. Slade was angry, he thought, and he was very scary when he was angry. This was not good.

"I understood perfectly, sir," Robin said. His fists were clenched at his sides. Slade had a particular talent for almost effortlessly arousing his anger. "No one else knows her like I do, I can give her the understanding and care she needs to get better—" Slade hissed, cutting of Robin's impulsive speech.

"I told you specifically that you were not to be spending an inordinate amount of time with her," Slade said. He glared at Robin through glinting eyes. "Do not deny it—I know exactly what I said. And I expect my orders to be followed. Expressly."

Robin closed his own eyes for a moment and relaxed his hands before continuing. "I joined St. Agnes's," he said, his voice very quiet and steady, "because I wanted to help people. Apparently you had no such idea in mind because you are repressing the entire purpose of St. Agnes's! I am one of your best psychiatrists and if I leave…."

Slade laughed. It was not a sound of mirth; rather, it was more like a loose piece of metal rattling inside an empty, tin casing. "You will not leave," Slade said, in a voice even more quiet than Robin's. Robin longed to fling back a retort but the truth of Slade's statement quieted him. "You will also not see Raven any longer. I will assign a new doctor to her."

Robin shook his head. "Why are you doing this?" he demanded. "What difference does it make what doctor she's got, as long as she has one, and as long as said doctor works to find a cure for her?"

"I see you looking at her," Slade said, and he sat back down. Robin's jaw dropped slightly at the changed nature of Slade's voice. It seemed, almost, to hold pity: an indelibly human expression. "You, Doctor, tend to be obsessive—and we can't afford you to obsess over one patient when there are so many others here, or that come to see you."

Robin could only stare at the chief doctor. Slade, this inhuman, cruel being; Slade, who seemed to have as many issues as most of the patients permanently interred; Slade, who never had regard for anyone save himself—this very same Slade was strangely alive, oddly human, and Robin looked at him as though he'd never seen Slade before. Slade, for possibly the first time, was acting like a doctor. It was this revelation that surprised a nod out of Robin, and a clear, "I will try not to spend too much time with her."

As he entered the brightly- lit hallway, however, his shock wore off, and he cursed himself for agreeing to Slade. For once, the man may have shown some sort of human emotion—compassion, pity—but it was not enough to redeem years of near- cruelty and aloofness. He knew he shouldn't directly disobey Slade's orders yet again, but Robin was determined to never let go of Raven.

………………….

It was that uncomfortable time of day when it's too bright outside that an artificial light bulb would be ineffectual, but too dark to see clearly by natural sunlight. Besides that, it was raining softly outside, the drops that hit the pavement drubbing out a gentle drumbeat. Raven sat with one of the books Robin had given her resting on her lap, staring out the window, with one hand lightly resting on the light switch. It had taken a little while to get used to not having her powers, although recently, she had been using them less and less. She knew they were supposed to be getting stronger but she controlled them so tightly that she could believe that she was absolutely normal.

Well…normal relative to the inhabitants of Titans Tower, of course.

And not that she didn't embrace her powers and all…but sometimes they were simply too overwhelming, and summoning the strength to deal with them left her tired and irritable.

Robin let himself into her room and she stood up to meet him, a warm smile on her lips. She held up the book she was currently reading. "Frankenstein is such an amazing work of literature!" she said eagerly. "Do you think—"

Robin chuckled but shut her off. "I'm not really supposed to do this," he murmured, "but I think you'll like this." He took her hand, keep it clasped loosely in his own, and led her to the door. After a quick check to ascertain that no one was approaching, he rapidly pulled her along behind him as he strode down hallways and staircases.

"Robin, where are we going?" asked Raven, easily keeping up with the doctor's long steps. She was looking about herself with curious eyes, since the first time she had come to St. Agnes's she had been in no condition to go on a sight-seeing tour.

Silently, he led her outside, and for a wild moment she allowed herself to believe that he was breaking her out, that he would take her to live with him and all would be better. But instead she found herself in the small, tidy garden she had noticed before.

He wasn't looking at her. "I thought you might like some fresh air," he said, looking around at the rosebushes. There were roses of all colors delineating a beautiful border for the garden: deepest red, lavender, yellow, peach, pink, white. The raindrops lingered on each full-headed bloom and Raven deeply inhaled the scent of fresh rain.

"Thank you," she said, equally quietly. She gestured expansively. "It's a very nice garden."

"Some of the more stable patients are allowed to cultivate little plots of their own," he said. "I'll try to get one for you but—"

"No, Robin, please don't," she said desperately. To have her own garden plot at St. Agnes's would make her feel as though she would be interred for a very long time, and she still held on to the hope that she would soon be out of the institute.

"I don't know if you'll be able to go home," Robin replied. "It's not up to me."

"I'm not crazy!"

"I know that, and you know that," he said, "but the papers don't."

"You're not going to be my doctor any more in a while," she stated after a few minutes' pause.

"I've disobeyed Dr. Slade far too many times than is prudent," he said. "I'm sorry. But he's really the only one with enough authority to let you go, and I could argue for you but it's looking hopeless right now."

As long as you could stay with me, Robin, I could endure living the rest of my years here, she thought, but she didn't say anything out loud. They walked together around the garden, close, although their hands didn't touch. The rain was irrelevent; it was only a light drizzle and it made everything more lovely.

They had paused by the lavender rose bushes, since purple was her favorite color; and, as though there was a sort of silent communication between their minds, Robin leaned forward to Raven's anticipating mouth and kissed her then and there.

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A/N: Finally, chapter 5. Although it might look shorter to you length-wise, it's actually a little over 3, 000 words, which is longer than any other previous chapter. I HAVE figured out what's up with Raven's being in an AltVerse but it's NOTHING to do with Slade. Speaking of whom: I hope you didn't feel I was being unncessarily sympathetic to him by endowing him with those human characteristics. Yet, I can't help but feel he's got some sort of good quality to him—although, if you'll notice, Robin did not allow that to redeem Slade. So he's still mucho evil, don't worry. So…included some backstory here…a bit more about Star and BB…left off on the Cyborg front though. The kiss between Robin and Raven was supposed to be sudden—I'll go into details next chapter.

Thank you all SO MUCH—39 reviews for Chapter 4 means 39 huge smiles from me ) Thanks for sticking with this and through this: I appreciate it so much. Keep them coming! I'm really hoping you're enjoying this story.

Chinxy, Ravens-Despair, CrimsonFire409, and Squeegee779, Daughter of the Equinox, Febreese: Thank you all so much for your super-sweet reviews! I hope you all also enjoyed this chapter; I personally liked it more than Chapter 4.

ELM-Tree10 and AnnFaithDarknessGoddess: You've been with me from Chapter 1. Thanks so much! Raex Rob pairings do rock and yes, I am rather proud of my 100+ reviews so far too ) All thanks to people like you.

The Wings of a Raven: Thanks for reviewing. Ehhhh, I sort of lost interest in Speedy. If it means that much to you fans though…I can include him….

Ravenrocksthedark: Wowie, glad you're not even a Rae x Rob fan and you still like this fic! Nice job on being open-minded; I know a lot of non-Ravin supporters have a bad rap as being close- minded ( But you're different so that's really neat!

KidFlashIsHot: You're actually dangerously close to the truth! Thank you for not suggesting yet again that this is all Slade-induced. Nice job! And thank you so much for reviewing.

Kirish: Naw man, whatever. I'm pretty chill about it actually since I'm a pretty chill person in general. Glad you're liking the story though )

Samisweet: Yeah most people here are (Cauc)Asian, but back in my younger days when I wrote anime, I met a surprising large amount of Desis, including some South Indians, which was cool. Nice to meet you!

People please lay off on the cookies and cupcakes: I'm really trying to go on a diet!