AN: I don't own anything here. Red vs. Blue is property of RoosterTeeth Productions. A very vaguely slashy insight to Caboose's mind during Episode 4, "Head BNF in Charge".
First Impressions
"My dad always said, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'"
God, how could he have been so stupid? And those remarks about putting the tank on the ship… Michael just wanted to hit his head repeatedly against the wall. He'd just wanted to get on the good side of the other soldiers. In the process, he'd made a complete idiot of himself. Now he was stuck guarding the flag for a reason he couldn't fathom until some unknown general showed up to inspected it.
That wall was looking awfully inviting. However, that was the moment when the red-clad soldier entered the base.
"Wow. You got here fast," Caboose said in amazement. This had to be the General. He didn't look anything like the others, or even himself! Inside, Caboose was leaping for joy. Somehow, some small shred of common sense told the rest of him that actually leaping for joy might be a bad idea.
"Why is everyone so freaking rude in this canyon?" The General made more of a statement than a question, and Basic training snapped Caboose into kiss-ass mode.
"I'm not, sir. What can I do for you?" 'Be polite, don't make a mistake, don't run him off,' ran his thoughts.
"Finally, someone with a little respect around here." Some little part of Caboose was analyzing the General and coming to the conclusion that he didn't really act like a general.
"Yes sir! I assume you're here because of this," said Caboose smartly, turning to indicate the flag. The General was there for the flag, right? He started to sweat a little under his armor.
"Wait, is this all you have?" Caboose felt any dreams he had of a successful military career come crashing down around him.
"Uh, yes sir! That's it!" 'Please don't let him kill me…' was the only thought in the Blue soldier's head.
"Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about Elbow Grease?" The General seemed…disappointed, but not…angry. Caboose's spirits would have lifted if he had actually had what the General was asking for.
"Uhmmm…" His voice trailed off.
"Headlight Fluid?" The General sounded hopeful and so very…not like an officer. Rather, he sounded more like…well, like Caboose, like a rookie.
"No, all we have is this flag." 'Let that be enough.' Staring through his visor, Caboose watched as the General seemed to sigh.
"Well, I can't go back empty-handed…I guess I'll take that." The words puzzled Caboose.
"Sure…that makes sense. I guess." He watched quietly as the General took the flag, wondering if he'd ever get the chance to see if maybe the General was as nice as he sounded. Vaguely he heard the voice of that nice young man mumbling to himself.
"Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag." Caboose shoved all thoughts about the General really being a rookie like himself out of his mind and went to tell Church and Tucker the news.