Pairing: Nathan/Haley.
Summary: "She said she'd never leave me, you know? I told her, just before I was an idiot and proposed, I told her I couldn't handle losing her. And she said I never would." Complete.
Spoilers: General ones for the show set before 2.19.
Author's notes: I was supposed to be doing Biology, and this appeared instead. Go figure. Second Naley fic, hope it's not too melodramatic or out of character. I'll never say no to feedback, BTW.
Disclaimer: The characters within do not belong to me; although I wouldn't object to stealing Nathan for, I don't know, ever?
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It feels weird, having her in the same house as him again. In the same room. He's imagined this scenario a thousand times before; imagined yelling at her, holding her, just staring at her… sometimes a combination of all 3.
But she'd taken him by surprise. He'd fallen asleep, for once not drunk, in front of the TV. He'd been watching… something, some teen drama or whatever. The girls were hot and it made the silence of the apartment disappear, for a little bit.
He'd woken up when someone had switched the TV off. He'd laid there for a minute, curled into one corner of their couch. In spite of himself, it was the side she always sat on and with his face pressed into the cushion like it some how was, he could almost smell her. And then he really could smell her, and he swore he felt the familiar softness of her fingertips brushing over his bare arm as someone pulled a blanket over him.
He'd opened his eyes then, expecting… he didn't know who he was expecting. Maybe Lucas was feeling really touchy feely, or – and please don't let it be this – his mom was back to pretend to care about him. Because there was no such thing as love; there were only lies. Lucas was going to leave him soon, it was inevitable.
He'd looked up slowly, and was stunned to see big brown eyes staring down at him.
"I've finally lost it," he muttered allowed.
"No," the person said and it sounded like her, smelled like her, had felt like her when she'd touched him seconds before.
"Yeah," he insisted, sitting up. "This is some twisted dream I'm having and I'm going to let myself believe it and then I'll wake up and you'll be gone."
"No, I won't," the person who wasn't Haley said, and her voice was trembling this time.
"She said she'd never leave me, you know? I told her, just before I was an idiot and proposed, I told her I couldn't handle losing her. And she said I never would." He'd laughed, but it had sounded more like a sob.
"Nathan…" And that's how he'd known. No one, not even a dream or hallucination of Haley, could replicate the way she says his name.
"It is you," he'd breathed.
And now, he's still sitting here, who knows how much later. She'd tried talking but he hadn't listened. She'd sat at the other end of the couch and he'd slid as deep into his corner as he could. It was funny that he was so desperately aching for some of her essence to still be on these cushions when she was less than 3 feet away.
He looks at her hesitantly, almost afraid she's disappeared. She looks tired and apprehensive and like she's been crying.
"Nathan…" her voice shakes a little, and he hears the exhaustion in it. He still can't believe she's hear and doesn't even know how he feels about it; he's numb or something.
But she's tired and so is he and he needs time to sort all this out or he'll do something crazy, like scream or kiss her or maybe both and neither of them can take that right now.
"Let's talk about this in the morning," he tells her, surprised at how calm his voice is.
"But…"
"You're tired. Let's get some sleep and talk in the morning." If you're still here.
She looks like she's going to protest, but gets up anyway and heads for their bedroom. She doesn't have any luggage he notices for the first time.
"The airport's sending it tomorrow," she explains, seeing him looking around quizzically. "I wanted to get here as soon as possible."
He nods and she goes into the bedroom hesitating in the doorway. "Good night, Nathan," she says, eyes on the ground. He hears the tears anyway.
"Night," he says. He wants to say he loves her but he hasn't even managed her name yet.
Later, probably hours, but not too many because it's still dark outside, he tosses restlessly. The couch feels cold and he's switched ends because it smells like her more here. He wishes she could be in his arms…
And then he's getting up, walking across the room. Pulling at his bedroom door frantically, urgently. What if she's gone? Please don't be gone. Please, please, please don't be gone.
He gets it open and glances toward the bed to see her sitting up, blinking dazedly.
"Nathan?" Her voice is thick with sleep and confusion, just like he remembers it when she'd wake up some nights and find him staring at her.
"You're still here," he says. He doesn't know how he wanted it to come out, but not quiet and breaking, like it had.
"Of course I'm still here," she says and starts to get out of bed.
"I just um, wanted to be sure," he mumbles and turns to go.
"Nathan," she calls. He ignores her and closes the door.
Or starts to.
Then he stops and pushes it wide, walking haltingly into the room.
"Nathan? What – what are you doing?"
"I don't know. I don't know anything right now, Haley – " and he can feel it slipping; feel himself slipping. Feel his tenuous grip on control loosening, shattering just by saying her name. Because that makes her real; makes this real; makes everything real.
"I don't know how I feel or what we're going to do about our m-marriage but I can't sleep out there. I can't sleep out there, when you're in here and so close and I… I…"
"Nathan…" she's beside him before he realizes it, wrapping tender arms around him.
"Haley… I missed you… I miss you. So much…" he feels the tears splashing down into her hair, feels her own dripping against his bare chest.
"Shhhh," she says in a wavering whisper. "Shhh. Let's talk in the morning."
Part of him wants to point out that technically, it is already morning, but he doesn't. He just revels in the feeling of being back in her arms, because that's how this all started. He fell in love with her that moment she'd hugged him in the hallway after he'd gotten that test back. And it'd been a quick, almost awkward hug, but the feel of her, soft and warm and gentle against him… he never wants to lose that feeling.
And he's come so close to and he still could, because they're nowhere near okay but they're not worrying about that now.
They're just going to be Nathan and Haley, and hold each other, because if they doesn't, he doesn't know what will happen.
And as they slip beneath the sheets, as he holds her as tight as he can, not caring that he's crying because she is too, he feels right. Not happy and definitely sad, but right. It's going to take a long time to put them back together again emotionally, they probably won't ever be what they used to be, but that's okay.
For now, that's okay. For now, he just let's her hold him and holds her back and doesn't think about anything else except his Haley.
And they're perfect again, for just a little bit.
End