Ross started to stutter and his eyes looked at the floor. How was he going to get out of this mess? Had she found out? Then an idea came to him.
"Ursula." he simply said. "Phoebe's sister is down here working in this hotel."
"Really?' said Rachel. "It is so scary how much they look alike. Well, I am going to call Monica, see how my girl is." Rachel picked up the phone.
"She's not home." Ross said as he grabbed the phone. "I think she is at work."
"Well then I 'll call Chandler, he's watching her." Rachel said grabbing the phone back.
"Him and Joey went to see the Knicks." Ross said again. "Joey's in town for the twins birthday."
"Oh and we're going to miss it. It's kind of funny . They wanted to go to Vermont on Emma's first and here we are in Barbados on the twins first birthday." Rachel said. "Oh and we are all set for the classes tomorrow and our first dive is Saturday."
"That is great, you know what I don't have anything to wear. Why don't you go to the local dive shop and get me something okay? I guess I have been around you too much. " he laughed.
"But what about dinner and dancing? You promised." Rachel whined.
"I can't go diving with nothing to wear. Go before they close." Ross said pushing her out the door. When she was sure he was gone, he ran down to Joey's room.
"Hey Buddy, how's the groom?" said Joey as he put his arms around him. "This makes me so happy that I can marry my two best friends ."
"Wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Now Stevie is coming right?" Ross asked.
"Honey, which dress should I wear for dinner?" said Alex as she popped her head from the bedroom.
"Oh yeah that 's right , you guys haven't met yet. Alex this is my best friend , Ross Geller." Joey said.
"Congratulations, I bet you are excited . Is this your first marriage?"
"Actually Alex, this is Ross' fourth wedding." explained Joey. " First he was married to Carol but then they got a divorce because she……"
"Joey you can go through the litany of my marriages later. We have to talk about the ceremony. Have you prepared anything yet?" Ross said anxiously.
"Joe, I am starving here, when are we eating?" Gina popped out next.
"Ross you remember my sister Gina?" said Joey. "I think she was at my party."
"Yeah the one where Chandler kissed one of your sisters.' laughed Ross. "But really Joey, the ceremony. I have Rachel grabbing me something to wear at a local store , so we have to do this quickly."
"Here we are." Joey said as he handed him a piece of paper. "No ! No ! I do not want it advertised that Rachel and I got drunk and got married then got drunk again and had a baby. Write something about love that has lasted through time and how I have been in love with her since the ninth grade, none of this stuff about London or Carol."
Ross said as he threw the paper on the floor.
"Okay but you are gonna have to remember to say the right name this time okay?" said Joey.
Ross gave him the most evil look as he said this. "Make it nice , not embarrassing. I gotta go again. Don't go to the Palms, because that is where Rachel and I are eating. She can't know anyone is here." Ross said as he left the door and ran back to his own room.
"Here we are." said Rachel proudly holding up her purchase. "The man said that it is the perfect suit for diving. It is supposed to hold in the warmth at no matter what depth you dive."
"Rachel I can't wear that. It looks so tight , how are you supposed to swim in that thing?" Ross complained.
"I can't speak for the teacher , but me personally , I think you will be hot in it . Just like James Bond." Rachel said as she wrapped herself around him. Try it on." she coaxed sexily.
Ross took the blue and black wetsuit and went into the bathroom. It brought back a very unpleasant memory. A certain pair of leather pants that wouldn't stay on or up.
"Raaa chel." he cried. "I can't get it on." Rachel ran to the bathroom and pulled the rubber suit up over his ass and up until it covered his body.
"I can't move in this thing. If I can't move, how am I supposed to go swimming in it?"
"We'll figure something out. In the meantime , change because it is time for dinner." Rachel said as she left the bathroom. He waddled out as his body squeaked every time he moved.
"Now I can't get out of it." he moaned. Rachel pulled it off and it fell to the floor in a heap.
"Get dressed." Rachel ordered. Ross shrugged his shoulders and went to the closet.
Phoebe sat stretched out on the bed. She slowly strummed her guitar and wrote down what she envisioned as the perfect wedding song…
She left her husband on their wedding day
His wife left him because she was gay.
He married another said her name
Got drunk in Vegas, no one else to blame .
"Phoebe, what is that?" asked Mike.
"This is my special present to Ross and Rachel , a song." said Phoebe proudly.
"But hon we got them something. We got them some very lovely dishes from Macy's."
"This is my special gift to them. Kind of the special Phoebe touch. I mean if it weren't for me, they wouldn't be getting married."
"I know you drove him to the airport to stop her plane, but what else have you done?" Mike asked.
"Well I invented the term lobster. I told Ross that Rachel was his lobster because lobsters mate for life and if you look in the tank you can see little old lobster couples with their claws clamped together." Phoebe said as she made the sign with her hands.
"Am I your lobster?" smiled Mike sweetly.
"Yes you are Mike Hannigan, so is this little one inside of me." she said lifting the guitar and patting her large stomach.
"I also told Ross that he needed to be with Rachel when she had Emma, but that turned into a big mess what with Janice and Joey and the ring." Phoebe continued.
"But I tried to stop Rachel from making a big mistake. Instead Ross made an even bigger one."
"What did he do?"
"He was set to marry this girl from England, Emily. He thought he was so in love and we were all happy for them , all except Rachel. Everyone was going to London for their wedding, all except me because I was pregnant with the triplets and Rachel." Phoebe continued again.
"Well Rachel shouldn't have wanted to go , I wouldn't go to the wedding of an ex of mine." Mike stated.
"Ross and Rachel were best friends and he was mad at her for not going. After they had left, Rachel realized she was still in love with him and I tried to stop her."
"That doesn't sound like you , Phoebs." Mike admitted.
"Maybe I knew something was going to happen. I tried to warn everyone that Rachel was on her way. Joey had his own agenda with some girl named Felicity and Monica and Chandler were having sex. She got there , she was crushed because she saw how in love Emily and Ross were. All she could do was wish the love of her life the best.
Then he did it, instead of saying I Ross take thee Emily , he said I Ross Take Thee Rachel."
"So they kind of do belong together." Mike said.
"Honey that is just one story, I got a million others to tell."
Ross had told Rachel he needed some ice for his ankle so he needed to go get some. He slipped out the door again. This was getting exhausting. Thank goodness only one more day.