Chapter Two- The Three Little Pigs
"Okay. Sakura, Ino, and TenTen are the pigs. Temari's the big bad wolf." Rayne flipped the book open to the Table of Contents. Page 23 starts the story. She wrote down their names under Pigs, and Temari under Wolf. "Now, lets see what this book can do!"
The CD-sized looking glass began to glimmer, and then began to project the pictures into the pages of the giant book. It began with: The Three Little Pigs, in all that cheesy lettering, music, and background scroll thingy. They began to watch, as the glass began to speak.
"Once upon a time, long long ago-" It was cut short by Rayne. "Hurry up, we know this part."
"Fine. One day, Temari was needed to bake a cake for Kankuro. It was his birthday. She was out of flour in her den, so she sought the help of others. Just watch the rest of it."
"How can she live being hungry?" Upon these words, Rayne smacked Chouji upside the head.
"I wish someone would bake me a cake," Gaara said, "especially for my birthday…"
"Shaddup and listen."
Temari, with wolf ears and a bushy tail, was walking around, asking other villagers for flour. All of them ran away, so Temari was still left with nothing. She began to wander out of the main parts of the village. Sakura lived on the outskirts of the village, in a one-floor house made of straw, held up by the billions of Sasuke posters that she had so diligently put up. Sakura was allergic to wolf, so she would not let Temari in, or else she would sneeze and break out, therefore defacing her beauty, which was for impressing Prince Sasuke. Sakura complained about the elastic pig snout on her nose.
"Shuddup jOO tard! Play along," Rayne hissed.
Temari rapped the flimsy door a few times with her fan, and goddammit, the whole freakin' house fell! What kinda bonehead builds this crap, anyways? All she wanted was some flour! Sakura leapt out of the rubble, metal baseball bat in hand, dark Inner Sakura aura all around her.
"DESTROY MY HOUSE, WHY DON'T YOU!" Sakura screamed, running around with the bat above her head chasing after the wolf. She smacked Temari with it until she sneezed, and Temari knocked the bat out of her hand. Sakura turned around, screamed like a girl, and ran off as fast as her little legs could carry her. Temari ran after, trying to tell her she would buy her a better house to live in, but to no avail.
Tsunade pondered for a while. "If I were Sakura, I would have charged her double to rebuild my house, and get plastic surgery."
A squealing Sakura slammed into a fruitlessly gardening Ino, just outside her teetery stick home. It had two stories and was supported by billions of Sasuke statues that Ino had so diligently carried into her house.
"Abigbadwolfcameandknockedmyhousedownandischasingaftermerightnow," Sakura took and big breath before continuing. "AndIreallyreallyneedtohideinyourhouserightnow!"
So the two of them went to the highest point of the house, the second floor, which swayed to and fro, since it already wasn't able to handle Ino's weight, let alone hers and Sakura's combined. Sakura sneezed again, just as Temari reached the stick house. Swaying back and forth like a corn stalk, Ino's pathetic excuse for a house toppled onto a fear-stricken Temari. Sakura and Ino screamed like girls, ran over Temari and around the house in two opposite circles, hit each other, and fell on top of each other.
Jiraiya made a remark. "Hey! No foreplay in public areas!"
Neji shoved his foot in Jiraiya's face, his pride already tainted by the old pervert who was sitting next to him.
The wolf approached them to see if they were all right. The two little pigs sprung up, and ran off as fast as their little legs could carry them.
The two little pigs ran all the way to TenTen's house, which was made of titanium-enhanced steel. It was all gleamy and sparkly, just the way TenTen liked it. It had four floors, and loaded heavy artillery machines on top of it. In TenTen's yard, Sakura and Ino were running from the billions of anti-Sasuke underground mines TenTen had so diligently set up. They finally made it to the front door.
"TENTEN!" The two pigs screamed. TenTen opened the steel padlock door and let them in. Both of them told the story so far, each one arguing over what had happened and talking so randomly that all TenTen got was a jumbled up untranslatable message.
Temari walked the path Sakura and Ino ran so she wouldn't get blown up. The three pigs had climbed to the heavy artillery floor, Sakura with the wrenches, Ino with the bricks, and TenTen with the gatling gun. The wolf was just about to ask for flour when a brick dropped at her feet and a wrench whizzed above her head. Then she was chased away by the gatling gun, and ran into a series of mines. She eventually managed to escape, and ran off as fast as her injured legs could back to her own house.
Kiba glided up to the front door. Kiba was the grim reaper. He ends every story. His hood was up and his eyes were not visible.
"Visiteth upon ye extreme annilation."
He blew down the house and gobbled up the three little pigs. Temari soon followed.
And so, from this day on, all wolves despise pigs because none of them gave the wolves flour. Theme: When someone asks you for something like flour, don't be like those three little pigs.
"Well? Tsunade, you first. We go down the row." Rayne asked.
"Cheap."
"Fine. Chouji?"
"Pigs are good with A-1 barbeque sauce."
"You didn't get the point at all. Shino?"
Silence.
"Okay then, Shikamaru?
SNORE. Shikamaru was fast asleep. Drooling.
"Whatever. Neji?"
"Horrible. Because f-"
"Fate willed it to be so. Yeah. I know. Jiraiya."
"Horny!"
Everyone glared at him. Silence.
"Gaara?"
"I wish I got to go first."
"Too bad."
END