Title: As the 'Gate Turns: Entropy
Author: Annerb
Rating: minor language, violence
Summary: It's getting a little crowded in here…
Classifications: Series, Drama, S/J, D/O Angst
Season: Mid-season 8, up through End Game (AU from there)
DisclaimerThe characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Author's Note: Special thanks to Montage and Triptnx. Drive slowly, curves and cliff(hanger)s ahead!

Feedback: Always appreciated!

Part 16: Entropy

They all piled into Sam's car, Haley sandwiched in the back between Jack and Daniel. Haley had not said a word since they had left the alleyway, but her hands still shook gently and a soft sheen of sweat dotted her face. She stared out straight ahead, watching the freeway traffic.

"Have you ever really thought about driving?" Haley suddenly asked the silent car.

"Driving?" Sam asked.

Haley nodded, never taking her eyes off the road ahead. "It really is quite a thrill. I'm not talking about the speed, more about the control. You have countless individuals driving heavy machines at high speeds. They all drive along, everyone in their lanes. But have you ever thought about what keeps them inside those imaginary lines? What keeps them from just twiddling the wheel and plowing into another car? Self-preservation? The vague threat of laws and punishment? More likely it is only a thin veil of civility and morality that keeps our darkest instincts in check. It's like a strip of saran wrap, holding us all in our lines, just waiting for it to rupture. Just waiting for someone to drive into on-coming traffic."

Complete silence greeted Haley's speech.

She shook her head. "Sorry. It's getting a little…weird in here," she said, rubbing at her temples.

Daniel wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but the words caught in his throat.

Haley looked away from the freeway and began digging through her purse, eventually pulling out a prescription bottle. Her hands trembled, making the contents rattle.

Sam glanced in the rearview mirror. "What is that, Haley?"

"It's nothing," Haley mumbled, trying to wrestle open the top. "I just need a little help."

Sam's eyes met Jack's in the mirror and he leaned over and took the bottle from Haley. "Lithium?" he read out incredulously.

"It helps," Haley said with a sigh. She leaned her head forward into her hands.

"Haley?" Daniel asked with concern, placing one hesitant hand on her back.

"I'm just so tired," she mumbled through her hands.

"We know, Haley, we know. But we're going to help you."

Jack passed the pills up to Teal'c and then pulled Haley back to lean on his shoulder. "Just rest," he whispered against her hair. "We've got you."

Haley gratefully leaned into him, closing her eyes. "It's good to be home," she sighed quietly.

With Haley settled in an infirmary bed, Jack paced the length of Dr. Warner's office, trying to suppress the nostalgic urge for a certain Napoleonic power-mongerer with steady hands and sharp, intelligent eyes.

Dr. Warner stood staring in total disbelief at the chart in front of him. "Her lithium levels are amazingly high. I'll have to take her off of it. If we don't do it now, she's risking kidney and liver failure. With levels like this, I honestly don't know how she has lasted this long."

"But what about the memories?" Jack asked somewhat impatiently.

"I honestly have no idea. Her physiology is so unique. We might just have to wait and see."

Jack obviously didn't like that answer.

"I've given her something to help her sleep for now."

Sam, meanwhile, strolled into the office. "Sir, permission to contact the Tok'ra. I think Selmak somehow knew this was going to happen."

"Yeah, of course, Carter," Jack said, waving her out of the room. With one last look at Dr. Warner, Jack joined Daniel out in the infirmary.

Nurse Yamada was circling around Daniel, who kept swatting her away, insisting that he was fine. She gave Jack an imploring look, but he just shook his head. "Daniel's got a thick skull. If he says he's alright, I'm sure he is."

Jack settled into a chair next to Haley's bed. She looked deceptively peaceful. The illusion was somewhat tainted by the sallow look to her face under the harsh lights. Makeup was no longer hiding the black smudges under her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Daniel said softly.

"For what?"

"I should have said something. I should have known somehow…"

"And why is that?"

"Maybe if I had been here…"

Jack shook his head. "Daniel, none of us saw this. Not even Cassie. And she lived with her everyday. Haley spent a lot of time hiding this from us."

"I wonder where she learned that," Daniel observed, his voice free of malice.

Jack smiled slightly, hoping that the O'Neill-Carter stubbornness would also serve her well.

Walter came in a few minutes later, his arms full of folders. "Now's not really the time, Walter," Jack snapped.

"But, sir-"

"Ah ah! I said not now!"

"Jack, go. I'll stay with her in case she wakes up," Daniel offered. Walter gave Daniel a grateful look.

Jack sighed, really hating his job. "You'll call me the second there is any change?"

"I promise."

Haley opened her eyes to find Daniel sitting by her bed scribbling in a book. She winced as she took in the purple bruising around his neck, knowing that she had done that.

"Daniel," she said softly.

"Hey," he said back, looking up from his journal.

Haley glanced at his neck again and opened her mouth to apologize, but Daniel had already raised a hand to stop her. "It wasn't your fault, Haley. You know that."

Haley just swallowed back the tears that suddenly threatened and looked up at the ceiling.

"Why did you come back?" Haley managed to ask after a while in a thick voice.

Daniel shifted in his chair a bit before saying, "Jack and Sam were worried about you. They thought you might talk to me."

Haley snorted.

"What?"

"You left because of me, why would you possibly want to come back just to talk to me?"

"Haley, I didn't-"

"Don't, Daniel," Haley cut him off. "I'm not nearly as naïve as some people seem to think I am."

Daniel sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. "When did everything get so mixed up?"

"Yeah, because up to now, things have been so simple," Haley noted sardonically.

"I'm sorry, Haley. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I just…" His voice trailed off.

"It's okay. I don't blame you."

"Blame me?"

"For not wanting to be around me," Haley said softly, placing one arm across her face.

"Haley-," Daniel started to say, but Haley's body had become completely rigid, her hands covering her face.

After almost a minute, she roughly sat up in bed. "No!" she cried in a low voice. Breathing heavily, she looked around the room, remembering where she was. Daniel was staring at her with eyes wide with concern. She collapsed back in the bed and concentrated on calming her breathing.

"Damn it, Daniel!" Haley finally said, swiping at a renegade tear. "Exactly how many times have you died?"

"What?"

"That morning in your apartment, I was with you when you died. You were covered in gauze and you were in so much pain. And now, there was fire everywhere; there was no chance. I couldn't…" Her voice broke and she came to an abrupt stop.

Daniel appeared to be struck silent.

"God, they are so real. And I can't make them stop." Haley hated the tears that she couldn't hold back and the desolate sound to her voice. But then Daniel had moved from his seat and his arms were around her. She grabbed onto him as if he was an anchor, something that could hold her steady in the growing tempest of her mind.

"I missed you, Daniel," she brokenly confessed.

"Yeah, me too, Haley. Me too," Daniel said earnestly, pressing his face into her hair.

"I think you misunderstood," Haley said softly, her voice causing Sam to jump.

"Haley?" She looked closely at her daughter, who was awake for the first time in nearly ten hours. Haley's eyes were bloodshot and her hands still shook. Her lithium levels were slowly dropping and the memories were becoming more and more persistent.

"On the Prometheus," Haley clarified, ignoring the look of concern on Sam's face. "You got it all wrong. Which is kind of funny, because you were talking to yourself the whole time."

"I take it you just experienced that memory."

"Yeah."

"So what exactly did I get so wrong?" Sam asked, curious as to another person's take on an event she had never shared with anyone.

"Jacob said that you should let go of the things keeping you from being happy. And Jack told you that he wasn't the problem."

Sam nodded.

"You thought they meant you should let go of him, when they were both telling you to stop being scared and just go for it. Don't you think that's funny? You were deluding yourself."

"Didn't seem so funny at the time…"

"I'm just glad that you both finally woke up. I want…I want so badly for you both to be okay, no matter what happens to me."

"Haley…"

"Please don't say that everything is going to be okay."

Sam sighed and closed her mouth. They both sat silently together for a while before Sam finally said, "Can I ask you something…about that time on the Prometheus?"

"Sure."

"The little girl…Grace. Was that you?"

Haley stared at Sam for a long moment before turning away to look intently at the ceiling. "No," she finally said softly. "Maybe I could have been…but no. The Goa'uld took all that chance from me, from us."

Haley closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her ears as if to block out the thoughts and feelings that assaulted her. "They did this to me…and I don't think I can be like this, Sam. I don't know how…"

Sam grabbed Haley and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry, Haley. I am so sorry."

In the next 24 hours, Haley got considerably worse. She had rare moments of clarity, but they were few and far between. Now she seemed to live in an almost permanent state of nightmare and hallucination, various memories preying on her. They were not just Jack and Sam's memories, either. Daniel had noticed 12 distinct languages already, most of which he had never heard before.

Haley tossed and turned, occasionally crying out. During the second night she began to pace the room, talking in strange languages. Once, she attacked a nurse, cursing at her in Goa'uld. She was kept in soft restraints from that point on.

Jack and Sam now sat in the observation room, looking down at their mercifully quiet child. Jack had not said much since this new development, just growing more and more frustrated as the doctors were unable to give them any answers.

"Maybe Selmak will be able to help," Sam said softly.

Jack nodded absently.

Sam sighed softly and rested her head in her hands. Hadn't they all been through enough already? She felt Jack tense next to her and looked up to see Haley staining against her restraints. She was mumbling something that neither of them could make out. A couple of minutes later though, her eyes flew open and she screamed, very clearly, "Charlie!"

Jack flinched like he had been slapped. Sam could see his hands on the counter, clenched tightly into fists, his knuckles turning white.

She wanted to comfort him, to put her arm around him, but she was scared of being rebuffed. She wasn't sure she could handle that on top of everything else. But she did refuse to leave him. She sat there, her shoulder gently touching his, hoping that her presence was enough.

As if he read her mind, Jack blindly groped for Sam's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"I hate this," he ground out quietly. "Every horrible thing I've done, every nasty thing we've witnessed…that's all hurting her. I can't help but feel that it's my fault."

"Our fault," Sam reminded him.

Jack looked at Sam for a long moment and pulled her against him, one arm around her shoulders. "No," he whispered. "They did this. They did this to our little girl."

Sam nodded against his chest.

When Walter came in fifteen minutes later, to let Jack know that Jacob had just gated in, he didn't even blink at the position he found them in.

"I'll go," Jack said quietly against the top of Sam's head. He squeezed her once more and then pulled away, really hoping that Jacob would have some answers for them.

Twelve hours later Haley had slipped into complete stillness. She no longer mumbled or stirred, but simply lay in deathly immobility. Jacob tightened his arm around Sam as they watched nurses remove Haley's restraints and hook her up to machines.

The cascading avalanche of memories seemed to be shutting down Haley's brain, eerily familiar to the times Jack had had the Ancient's knowledge downloaded. Considering Haley had all that knowledge plus countless others, Jacob wasn't too surprised that it had come to this. It seemed an inevitable end to the Goa'uld's meddling.

Jack stood some paces apart from them, his face completely unreadable. He'd had a hard time accepting that there was nothing the Tok'ra could do. Maybe the Asgard could have helped, but they were still stretched thin, chasing down the last of the Replicators, rebuilding everything they had lost.

Jack had not said a word to anyone since Dr. Warner had shaken his head sadly and informed them that there was nothing left to do but make her comfortable and hope that somehow her special brain chemistry could adapt to the situation.

Jacob knew the only thing he could do was be there for his daughter. 'This isn't fair,' Jacob thought somewhat petulantly to Selmak. 'They've been through so much as it is!'

'There is only one thing left to do, before it is too late,' Selmak said sadly, firmly suppressing Jacob's shocked response.

It was after 3 am when Jacob Carter slipped into his granddaughter's room with a stolen pass card. He stood for long moments watching her as she slept. He resisted the urge to touch her face, fearing the softness of her skin might break him.

Eventually, he leaned down and pulled a long ceremonial blade from his boot. Gripping the knife with both hands, he slowly raised his arms high above his granddaughter's bed. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, he determinedly plunged the knife towards her heart with steady hands.