I Was Bored
By: EcoJak
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story.
Disclaimer 2: I'm bored and this was an idea I had long ago.(It's scary, you have been warned)
After the defeat of the "Evil Twins" by Crash and Cortex, they finally decided to lay their grudge to rest and become allies. Cortex wanted to make modifications to his Psychetron machine, Coco went exploring in the jungle, Crunch went to the gym and Crash was alone so he went with Cortex. Crash was hoping to play with Cortex's minions but they also left. So, Crash was forced to watch Cortex work on the machine and was bored as hell.
" Don't you have any magazines or a T.V. or something!"
"On the table" Cortex replied with a sigh.
Crash picked up the magazines and started flipping through them.
" 'Sports Illistrated'... 'Life'..." His eyes widened in shock at the last two. "PLAYBOY AND SEVENTEEN!"
"MINE!" Cortex yelled nervously while snatching the magazines then whispered " Are you ok, my babies?"
Crash then resumed being bored.
" Why did you even come?"
" Wellll...Crunch got mad after seeing that Ken guy win again on 'Jeopardy'and destroyed the T.V."
" Forget I even asked. There! It's finally complete!" Cortex yelled after turning the last bolt on the Psychetron.
" Remember before when it could only take us to the 10th dimension? Now it can take us to places beyond our wildest dreams!"
" Whoop de friggin' do." Crash waved his finger in the air like a party favor.
" At least TRY to sound excited."
Crash smiled for a split second.
" I'm done."
" It still needs to be tested.." Cortex said slyly while looking at Crash.
" OH, HELLS NO!" Crash yelled after running out of the lab.
Cortex shrugged after replying with
" What's his problem? I was talking about the rat."
Cortex looked at a white lab rat that was behind Crash's chair eating cheese.
Crash came home to see Crunch back from the gym fixing the T.V. with duct tape. Coco sat on the couch reading a book. She saw Crash come in the door and smiled.
" Hey bro, 'sup?"
" Nothing new. Cortex wanted to send me into the Psychetron again."
" That's nice." She replied before going back to her book, not giving a rat's ass.
" I FIXED THE T.V.! " Crunch shouted after duct taping the T.V. (and doing a terrible job as well)
Nina ran up to Crunch after following Crash home by foot (literally, she grabbed his foot and held onto it as he left the lab) and stared at the ugly mess that was their T.V.
" UGLYYYY!" Nina shouted obnoxiously. Coco grabed her by the neck and threw her out the window.
Nina went flying out the window screaming "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I CAN FLY I CAN FLY I CAN...OUCH!" she said after hitting a tree planted by Fake Crash and landing in his lap.
Fake Crash said " Well slap me with a fish and call me billy bob! Nina! Haven't seen ya'll in a while!" he said with a heavy hillibilly accent.
Nina ran away screaming to her uncle Cortex.
"Uncle Cortex Uncle Cortex! Fake Crash was flirting with me again!"
"Oh, when is the wedding gonna be already... for crying out loud! Its obvious you like each other." says Cortex
"Uh...ew?" Nina said right before she passed out from Crash's gasly smell
"Crash, lay off the beans"
"Heh, oops. Come on! It's not that bad...ok maybe it stinks a little.." said Crash with his finger up his nose.
Coco, being very disgusted from Crash's lovely smell, threw her book at Crash and told him to put Jeopardy on. Crash walked over to the T.V. and TRIED to put it on, leaving a digustingly bad trail of stinkyness behind him.
" THAT PIECE OF CRAP KEN DUDE IS STILL ON!" Said Crunch, throwing Nina at the T.V.
" CRUNCH! YOU BROKE THE T.V. AGAIN!" Everyone yelled.
Crunch pulled a big-screen T.V. out of the closet...
"YAY!"
...and smashed it.
"BOO!"
" WANNA HEAR ME SING!" Nina yelled.
" NNNOOOOOO!"
In the 10th dimension...
The Evil Twins, Victor and Moritz, had escaped the belly of Evil Crash (after Moritz farted and Evil Crash suddenly decided he didn't like gassy, mutated, ugly, big headed, alien parrots) and traveled back to N. Sanity island to look for Crash and his friends. Boring! Meanwhile, Crash, Coco, Crunch, and Fake Crash were busy taking turns at playing "Whak-A-Mole" with Nina and a cardboard box. Fueled with rage by this monstrosity to nature, Coco was winning. Yay! So, she did Crash's victory dance perfectly.
" Amateur."
" Let's see you try then."
Crash attempted to do his dance but wound up screwing up at the first part.
" HAH! Who's the amateur now!"
" Don't blame me, blame Vicarious Visions"
" You just suck, admit it."
"DO NOT!"
"DO TOO!"
"DO NOT TIMES INFINITY!"
"DO TOO TIMES INFINITY TO THE TENTH POWER SQUARED MULTIPLIED BY INFINITY!"
" NO FAIR, I'M NO GOOD IN MATH!"
"WHY ARE WE YELLING!"
" I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT IT'S FUN!"
WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!
" HEY, NOW CRASH'S DOIN' IT!"
"WHICH CRASH! ME OR HER!"
"CRASH!"
"OH, ME!"
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT ME!
"HOW DO YOU KNOW!"
CAUSE I'M SMART!
"WHY?"
I JUST AM!
"WHY?"
CAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!
"WHY?"
Okay, this is getting annoying.
"So we win."
XP Darn you Crash Bandicoot!
Cortex walks in. "THAT'S MY LINE!"
Where'd the hell you come from?
" My mom "
Stupid question...
Coco fries Nina with Dingodile's flamethrower.
" What the hell was that about?" Crash asked.
"Don't know. Just felt like it. "
" My poor Nina..." Cortex said with a sob but then smiled. " So, wanna go to Walmart?"
" SURE!" Everyone yelled.
So everyone went to Walmart, but it wasn't long before they were banned after Coco tried to smash every "Naughty Dog" game on the shelf.
THE END?
Note: My old screenname was Crashfan, but myfriend liked to call me "Crash" when I would I.M. them.
EcoJak: Review if you want, but ONE FLAME, and it's going down!