Disclaimer: We do not own Star Wars
A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Well the second chapter is finally up, we laughed a lot while writing this chappie
A/N Tinuviel Undomiel: Sorry for the long wait folks. I shouldn't even be posting this chapter, but Five for the Alliance is at a stand still, so until I think of soemthing this will be my J&K fic. Anyways, i hope I made ethere is everyone laugh.
Reviews:
Star10327: I'm glad you read this, and I'm sorry you didn't seem to enjoy it so much. I know there is only one Limelight, and I'm not her. I'm writing this fic for my amusement, and the amusement of others. Please accept the fact that this is not going to be exactly like her brilliant story.
stupid-gizka: I'm glad you read The Not Quite Love Letters, and I'm glad you like this.
Darkness1: Ah, my good old friend. Me? A comedian? Who would have thought that. LOL, hope to make you laugh more in this chap.
Lunatic Pandora1: Yeah, poor Jan, but with looks like hers what male can't help but try.
summers2004: Well, I wrote more, and I hope you enjoy.
vraje-rose: I love TNQLL too, and I'm so happy that you love this.
djicati: Wow, I hope you revive yourself in ime to read this, thanks for the review.
Limelight: I hope I made this priceless for you. Please update TNQLL so all of you adroing fans will scream for joy.
Rebellion Log of Kyle Katarn
Date: 6 Month: 2 Year: 3044
Location: Ord Mantell
Our current situation is unchanged. At least Jan can't blame me for being stuck here.
What in Sith's name did that bounty hunter want with that Han guy?
I sent another transmission to the Council, telling them that Jan and I are alive. It looked like Han and the Princess got away. I'm afraid that woman that was shot didn't make it though.
Looks like I'm getting a message from the Council.
Mon Mothma: Kyle, we have received your transmission, and are glad that both you and Jan are alive. We are sending a small team to rescue you, Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles, Hobbie Klivian and Wes Janson. They shall be ready in a few days. We will await any other transmissions you send us. Please be careful.
Well I recognized one name, now who are the other three?
Journal of Jan Ors
Date: 2/6/3044
I'm a little worried now. The Council is sending us four men to find us and only one name is familiar. I know that Luke Skywalker is the kid who blew up the Death Star, but I have no idea who the other guys are.
Why is the Council sending four guys this time? I mean, Ord Mantell is dangerous, but Kyle and I are fine and aren't missing any important parts. So why the crowd?
I guess I shouldn't be complaining. They are sending them to get us out of here. Soon I will be free of the stares and the smoky cantinas.
But what about my ship? She's still not able to fly, so how are we gonna get her back. We can't tie her to one end of their ship, and drag her to the base, so what can we do?
Kyle says we have to leave her behind, I understand, but I love that rusted hunk of junk. It's my very own ship, and has saved mine and Kyle's necks before. I hope when all this is over we can get her back.
Message sent at 0803 Hours, Day 6, Month 2, Year 3044
Good morning everybody, hope you all got a nice rest.
Janson
Message sent at 0804 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Oh yeah, I usually sleep well when I am about to go on a suicide mission.
Wedge
Message sent at 0804 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
I see you are still angry at me Wedge.
Janson
Message sent at 0805 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Angry? Now why would I be angry? Oh yeah, because you signed me up for a death mission just because you want to see this girl. By the way, how are we supposed to get there?
Wedge
Message sent at 0805 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Fly
Janson
Message sent at 0805 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
No, I thought we were going to walk to Ord Mantell, I meant what ship are we going to use; I don't think there is much room in an X-Wing.
Wedge
Message sent at 0806 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Ummmmm
Janson
Message sent at 0806 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Janson I'm going to kill you and I mean it!
Hobs
Message sent at 0806 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
You mean you don't have a plan!
Wedge
Message sent at 0807 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
I'm making it up as I go along.
Janson
Message sent at 0807 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
We're doomed
Hobs
Message sent at 0809 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Hey Han can we borrow the Falcon?
Janson
Message sent at 0810 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Solo
Message sent at 0811 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
I could've told you that, Wes.
Luke
Message sent at 0818 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Problem solved, I talked to Mon Mothma and she set us up with a ship. She said she had the perfect one for me.
Janson
Message sent at 0818 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Uh oh.
Wedge
Message sent at 0819 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Come on Wedge, there's nothing wrong with the Moldy Crow.
Janson
Message sent at 0820 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Janson, have you seen the Moldy Crow?
Hobs
Message sent at 0821 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Well no, but its not like Mon Mothma would intentionally give me a bad ship; she wants Kyle and Jan to get here alive.
Janson
Message sent at 0821 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
True, but the name itself is discouraging.
Wedge
Message sent at 0822 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Come on guys, just cause a ship has a lousy name doesn't mean anything.
Janson
Message sent at 0824 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
For once I agree with Wes. The Falcon has a nice name, but is really a piece of scrap.
Luke
Message sent at 0824 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Thank you, Luke.
Janson
Message sent at 0825 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Okay, so we have a ship. So when do we leave?
Hobs
Message sent at 0826 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
As soon as possible.
Janson
Message sent at 0827 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
I think that means today.
Wedge
Message sent at 0828 Hours, Day 6, Month 2 Year 3044
Oh Sith.
Hobs
Journal of Jan Ors
Date: 2/7/3044
Well today was not so great of a day. I'm still bored silly with nothing to do. The only place we can go is to a Cantina or café to find some news of the outside galaxy. Today I wish I had stayed here.
Kyle and I were just seated at the bar, having a few drinks, reminiscing on the missions we had just completed, when this Weequay comes walking up to me. I don't pay any attention to him, since I prefer men with a full head of hair, but he kept coming on with comments like "Sweetcakes, how about I show you a good time?" or "I'll buy you a drink, you can pay me back at my hotel."
Kyle stepped in and told the guy to back off, (He was kinda harsh too) but the Bantha bred jerk stayed put. Finally I had enough of his comments, and used my knowledge of men's weaknesses. I ended up getting in an argument with Kyle, afterwards. This is just not my day.
The sooner we get off this rock, the better.
Rebellion Log of Kyle Katarn
Date: 7 Month, 2, Year 3044
Location: Ord Mantell.
Sith, that girl has done it again.
While in the Cantina today, some Weequay brother started trying to hook up with Jan. I admit I didn't like it too much; after all she is my friend, so I told him to leave her alone.
When he didn't leave, I was going to press him further that is until Jan stepped in, or really elbowed. She hit the guy right in the crotch, hard.
Now the guy is rolling on the floor, moaning and calling Jan every curse word you can think of in all sorts of languages. Jan sorta stands over him looking amused. I nearly felt sorry for the guy.
All the men in the bar started to eye Jan. I figured they might try something, after all she did nearly castrate a guy, so I grabbed her and we left the place. The Weequay was still on the ground.
When we got back, Jan started telling me that she didn't need my help. I told her that with guys like that she would. She went sort of ballistic, saying that I didn't have to be so protective. All I did was tell the guy to leave her alone, I don't get why she is upset.
She even accused me of being jealous. I can't believe that.
I really shouldn't argue with her, though. Not after what she did to that guy. I don't want to even think about what she could do to me if she got really really mad. I may not use it that often, but I like knowing I have something to give to the ladies.
Mission Log by Wes Janson
Date: Month 2 Day 8Year 3044
Status: 2 hours from Ord Mantell
Well everything seems to be going okay, except for the fact that Luke and the guys are still mad at me, and none of us have figured out all of the controls of the Moldy Crow. I think we can succeed on this mission, and prove ourselves worthy of great honor.
At least I hope that Jan Ors girl swoons when she sees a couple of macho guys like us save her from the dirty smuggling town. Who knows, maybe she will beg for Mon Mothma to give all of us a medal. Except Luke already has one for bravery. Hmm, are you allowed to have more than one medal?
Anyways, we should reach Ord Mantell in a few hours; I'll report back later on the status of our comrades.
Journal of Jan Ors
Date: 2/8/3044
What has this galaxy come to?
Kyle and I have met our 'rescuers', and I discovered that the dumbest people are not just on Ord Mantell. Oh no, they can also be found in the Rebellion itself. Supposedly these guys are from Rogue Squadron, how they have survived this long is beyond me.
Okay, one of them, that Luke guy isn't so bad. A little young, but shows potential, but that Wes Janson is nuts!
Kyle and I were waiting for them at the Cantina this time, and when they just walked right up and said they were here to rescue us.
What if some Imperial Officer had been having a drink and flirting with a bar maid at that same Cantina? What if he heard that and put a blaster in each of our faces? Honestly, these guys need to go back to school and learn something.
Wes also thought it would be fun to try and flirt with me, what a joke.
I will only give credit to their ship, which although needs a new coat of paint and some tune ups, is a nice piece of flying material. But these guys didn't even know how to properly fly this thing. So now I'm in the cockpit typing this out while we are heading to Hoth.
Its awfully quiet though, what are this Rogue guys up to?
Hey guys, lets talk.
Wes since when have we reverted to passing notes, this is so beginner's school.
Come one Wedge, I just don't want them to hear.
By them you must mean Kyle and Jan.
Right.
Okay, so why don't you want them to hear.
Probably because that Ors girl cussed him out after he called her a Chick.
That's not funny Hobbie!
Oh really, sure seemed funny to me.
Shove it.
Guys, cool it!
Come on, Luke, me and Wes just having a little fun.
Sure you were, anyways, what do you want to say Wes that forces us to revert to this means of talking?
Thank you Luke, I was going to say that I haven't given up on impressing that girl.
Wes, give up. She's not interested.
Haven't you seen her Wedge?
Yeah, I saw her. She may be gorgeous, but she has a sharp tongue, most unattractive.
Ah, but not to our desperate Wes Janson. Seriously, he would take a girl missing both eyes and has six toes because…
Ow, man that hurt!
Good, you deserved it.
Come on; let's get through this with out blood shed.
Okay, what I was going to say was that I want to impress her, so I have a plan.
Oh no, you have got to be kidding.
Wes, your plans never work.
Sure they do what about the time we locked Han and Leia in the Fresher.
They threw snowballs at us, and locked us in the Fresher, and we were bedridden for days. I don't count that as a successful plan.
Yeah, but she did say she loved him.
And now she hates him, will you just give it up Wes!
No.
Fine then, what's you're plan.
I can't write it down, what if they find it?
Alright then, whisper it out loud, you idiot.
What!
That'll never work!
Can't you be more creative than that?
Oh, come on guys; let's just give it a shot.
NO!
Please!
NO!
Pleaspleasepleaspleasepleaspleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…
Alright, alright, just quite whining.
I knew I could count on you!
Rebellion Log of Kyle Katarn
Date: 8 Month: 7 Year: 3044
Location: Space
Well this has sure turned into an amusing trip. Jan is grumbling right now about those pilots, while I can barely keep myself from laughing.
Alright, first of all Wes Janson's come-on's were a riot! Where did he pick up those lingoes? But was the funniest thing was what happened next.
His two buddies Wedge and Hobbie came into the cockpit and told Jan that Wes was sick.
Jan was all like "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
Hobbie said that her being a girl, she should nurse him back to health. By now I had already figured out what they were up to, and couldn't help but smile. Jan knew too, but didn't seem to think it was funny.
She sort of curled her hands into fists and said through gritted teeth, "Sure I'll help him."
I could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears, and was half tempted to let her go. But since I didn't want a murder on our hands, I pushed her back onto the chair, and told the guys to tell Wes to wait to see a medic on Hoth.
Jan glared at me and said that I should have let her go. I said, "And what let you beat the guy into a pulp?"
"It would have taught him something."
"Sure," I agreed, "but you got to ease up on him, Jan; he'll leave you alone when we get to the base."
She seemed to take that pretty well. At least I saved that Wes guy's neck. I have my work cut out for me if I don't want anyone to kill each other on this trip.
You know, none of this stuff happened while I was a Stormtrooper. Oh well, least with Jan as my partner I'm never bored.
Mission Transcript: The Rescue of Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors.
Status: Successful
Summary: Rogue Squadron brought back Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors from Ord Mantell. Kyle and Jan have been situated at the base. Wes Janson, Wedge Antilles, Hobbie Klivian and Luke Skywalker have been rewarded for their actions.
TBC
A/N: Well was it good? Was it at least funny? Please R&R.