Kit Thespian: To present the Disclaimer, we have...
(Marle jumps onto the stage and leaps about as if she's had too much sugar in her cereal)
Marle: Yea! It's my turn! My turn!
Kit Thespian: ...Marle. All right, Marle, do your stuff.
Marle: First of all, I want to thank Kit Thespian for allowing me this special honor...
Kit Thespian: Marle...
Marle: And I want to thank my dad...
Kit Thespian: Marle...
Marle: And my boyfriend Crono. (waves at audience. Crono stands up and blows kisses to her) This is such a wonderful occasion...!
Kit Thespian: Marle!
Marle: ...Yes?
Kit Thespian: This is a Disclaimer, not the Academy Awards!
Marle: Oh, right...Um...What am I supposed to say?
Kit Thespian: Urgh...Just tell them about how I don't own Chrono Trigger and I'm not making money. Just say that.
Marle: Oh, okay! Ahem... I don't own Chrono Trigger and I'm not making money.
Kit Thespian: No! I don't own it.
Marle: Oh, I see! (to audience) Kit Thespian doesn't either.
Kit Thespian (groans): That'll do.
Chapter Six- Matchmaker, Matchmaker...
"Ayla not making joke!" Ayla put her hands on her hips, responding to an accusation made to her by Glenn that she was hoaxing, "Ayla see how Blue-hair and Lucca act! You watch! Lucca can make him do what she say!"
When Glenn and Crono returned from the ruins, Ayla had run out to greet them and give them a full explanation of the night's events. Though Ayla gave no indication that she thought anything funny had occurred between the wizard and the girl, both Crono and Glenn were absolutely shocked when she said (in her own way) that she thought that Magus and Lucca were developing feelings for each other.
The next quest they embarked on was the quest for the Rainbow Shell. Ayla, Robo, and Marle went, and the rest went and stayed with an old woman in Dorino. The old woman was actually an aunt of Toma Levine, and any friend of Toma's was a nephew or niece of hers. After showing her the bottle of pop that Toma had given them, she was assured. Now, Lucca insisted that she assist the old woman (whose name was Clarie) with her cooking and maintenance while they were staying with her.
"Oh, you're no trouble at all," Clarie had said, "this old house is far too big for me anyway. It's nice to have some young people here. Toma doesn't come by very often, you know. I don't know what he sees in exploring."
"Some people are just born to do it, I guess," Lucca said while she chopped some vegetables and Clarie lit the fire in the oven.
"Well, I haven't seen another one born to do it yet. It's fiddle-faddle, if you ask me."
Lucca chuckled, "My friends and I do a lot of exploring."
"At least you do it together. Doesn't make sense to do it alone."
Magus, Crono, and Glenn all popped their heads into the kitchen.
"When's supper going to be ready?" Crono asked.
"Now, no menfolk in the kitchen! Shoo!" exclaimed Clarie, making motions with her hands to match her words, "Shoo!"
Crono and Glenn exited rather hastily (Glenn took a bow before leaving), but Magus just stood there for a moment in the doorway, looking around as if to inspect the place. Lucca was immediately reminded of little Janus looking around the Earthbound Ones' Chief's house, saying, "What a filthy hovel." Thankfully, Magus didn't make a remark like that, but his distrustful staring seemed rude enough.
"Ahem," Clarie crossed her arms, "'menfolk' includes you too, Mr. Janus."
Magus didn't seem to acknowledge the old woman, but said to Lucca,
"You can cook?"
"Of course, I can cook. Now, really, Janus..."
"I thought all you did was build things."
"I'm a woman; I multi-task. Now, please leave the kitchen like Aunt Clarie asked you too."
Magus didn't move.
"Please?" Lucca batted her eyes twice, rather unconsciously, and Clarie took instant note of it. Unfortunately, Crono had been watching through a crack in the wood wall and he noticed it too. His jaw dropped, and it dropped even further when Magus left the room without further protest.
"Omigosh..." he whispered to Glenn, "that cavewoman was right."
"Thou meanest that Miss Lucca hath the power to control Magus through romantic inclination?" Glenn whispered back, equally surprised.
"Not really control. It's more like she's just keeping him in check, making sure he behaves, so to speak."
"This is a most serious development. I understandeth if Miss Lucca hath pitied him and those feelings grew. but... To think that Magus himself would... Most serious, indeed."
Crono and Glenn were too busy in their own conversation to notice what Clarie said to Lucca right after Magus left the kitchen.
"Well..." a smug grin was on the old woman's face, "flirting a little, are we?"
Lucca jerked her head at the old woman, her eyes wide as eggs,
"I...I...didn't mean..."
"That's quite all right, Lucca dear. How old are you?"
"...Just twenty."
"And how old is Mr. Janus?"
"...He's mentioned before. I think he said he was twenty-nine."
"Hmm...Well, it really doesn't matter at this age anyway. He fancies you, even if you don't see it."
"I have seen it, actually, a lot," Lucca turned red.
"Blushing? What has occurred between you?" Clarie was asking more out of curiosity than in a scolding manner.
"Nothing!" Lucca hastily spoke, before swallowing and continuing, "I mean...Nothing...bad. Nothing disgraceful. He...I...We...He..."
"Yes?" Clarie was smirking now.
"...He kissed me."
Crono and Glenn had just started listening again to the conversation and they had to cover their mouths to keep from screeching with horror. Magus had gone into the drawing room, so their little stakeout was kept a secret. But this new bit of information almost caused them to give away their presence. They listened harder, and they hard Clarie speak with a good deal of mischief in her voice.
"Kissed you? When?" she asked.
"Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't."
"...Last night. But it was only a little kiss. Nothing else happened."
"But he kissed you?"
"Yes..."
"And you cooperated."
"...Yes."
Clarie kindly finished the subject by telling Lucca that she needed to discuss her feelings with Janus, and then their attention went to their cooking. Glenn turned to his companion and glowered at him.
"'A monk and a nun'?" he sharply whispered, "'And nothing happens'? I ought to wring thy neck, thou little scamp!"
"What're you mad at me for?" Crono murmured, "It wasn't like I kissed Lucca."
"Thou didst place the two in that compromising situation. Thou didst have a part in it!"
"I didn't plan for them to kiss or anything like that, but you heard her! Nothing else happened between them."
Glenn fingered his sword, "I think I shall have a few words with our wizard friend."
"Now, Glenn," Crono put a hand on his friend's arm, "don't do anything foolish. We don't need a quarrel between you two in this lady's house. It'll frighten her out of her wits. And we are guests in her home. Think about that."
Glenn grumbled, "Oh, all right. But mark me, Magus shall not escape mine reprimand."
"Well, really, Glenn, when you think about it, we should thank him," Crono said. Glenn threw a harsh eyebrow up and Crono explained, "They spend the night together in a room, all alone, and all Magus did was give her a little kiss. They were both willing parties in the kiss, and then nothing else happened. They both managed to restrain themselves from dishonorable activities. Now, I hate to admit it, but if Marle and I were in a situation like that... Let's just say that we lack the restraint that Magus and Lucca apparently have. Instead of a reprimand, he deserves a medal...or a pat on the back, at least."
"...When thou dost put it that way..." Glenn grudgingly conceded, "I suppose thou art right. But we must keep watch over them, just to make sure nothing else happens."
When dinner was ready, Clarie called all the men to the dining room while she and Lucca brought in the food. They had a rectangular table that would fit eight people. Before any of the men could sit down, Clarie said, in a most musical voice,
"Now, wait a minute, I have a mind where everyone should be seated..." After the last dish was put on the table, Clarie took Crono by the shoulders and placed him on one side, by her seat at the head. Then she placed Glenn beside him. Then she said for Lucca to sit beside her on her other side, and then she walked over to Magus, and with an extra spoonful of sugar to her voice,
"Mr. Janus, you sit here."
A glint of dismay managed to escape from Lucca's eyes, but fortunately no one noticed it. Crono and Glenn were wondering for a moment why the old lady had been so picky. But Crono was the first to figure it out.
"She's trying to be a matchmaker!" Crono screamed in his thoughts. Crono, after visiting his friend's houses and watching them on chaperoned dates (for that was the proper thing in Guardia) he knew the responsibility of matchmaking that mother figures would take upon themselves well enough.
There was a process that followed. There was one of two things that would happen first while everyone was serving themselves: an awkward silence, or idle, meaningless chit-chat. Knowing Clarie's manner, it would probably be the chit-chat, and wholely one-sided.
"I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to have guests in my home," Clarie started, "After my husband died and my son married and moved to Porre, it seems so lonely. Of course, I'm the village druggist and midwife, so I have plenty company, but no one really comes by just to talk and socialize. There's a young couple in the village who are expecting a baby right now, and she just comes and asks me all sorts of silly questions. Things like, 'Will it be all right for my husband to hold to baby right after it's born?' or 'Is it all right for me to eat gravy?' The answers to both those questions are 'yes' of course. But children are such a wonderful blessing..."
Crono knew what was coming next, the second step in the matchmaking process: the interrogation procedure. Magus didn't stand a chance. And he knew by Clarie's tone of voice and what she had been talking about what the first question would be.
"Do you like children, Mr. Janus?"
He had been cutting a piece of meat when the question was thrown at him, and he paused, with a very funny look on his face, and looked up at the old woman,
"Excuse me?" he said.
"I asked if you like children," Clarie repeated, with a large grin on her face.
Whenever this particular question was asked, one could know if the defendant really liked the girl or not by the way the defendant he would dart his eyes back and forth trying to find a diplomatic answer. Crono swallowed his bite of food after seeing Magus look at Lucca a couple of times before turning his attention back to Clarie.
"I have never thought about it before," he replied, "I haven't had a lot of experience with children."
"Good diplomatic answer, Magus," Crono thought, "And drat, you really do like her."
Magus had passed one of the toughest questions with flying colors, so Crono thought that the rest should be a little easier on the wizard. Wrong.
"So, Janus," Clarie spoke, "where are you from?"
But Magus cooly answered, "From nowhere, really."
"Nowhere? What do you mean?" Clarie seemed intrigued.
"I do a lot of exploring these days."
"Oh, yes, Lucca told me that all of you were explorers."
Time to switch the board. Clarie asked Lucca a question,
"All this exploring...Would you ever think of settling, Lucca dear?"
"She lays it on thick, doesn't she?" thought Crono. But by the nonchalant glint in Magus' eyes, it would appear that he was still clueless. Glenn thought that all these questions were rather funny, but he was slowly catching on. Lucca, underneath her calm exterior, was positively horrified. But she managed to answer,
"I don't know if I was meant to settle, at least in the way most people think of settling."
Silence.
"How about that weather today?" Crono said, coming to the rescue.
"Snow is very lovely," Clarie said.
The interrogation procedure was over, and for that Crono (and he was sure, Lucca and Magus as well) was grateful. The dinner continued without anymore awkward moments, except for one instance when Clarie mention specifically to Magus that Lucca was an excellent cook.
Later that night...
Lucca put on her cloak (that she acquired after they left the other village and walked outside). There was snow all over the ground, but the clouds had cleared away to allow the moon to shine down, causing the snow to glisten like silver. The reason Lucca walked out was that she saw Magus leave the house a few minutes earlier and she wished to speak with him.
She saw him standing a little ways off, underneath some trees. He had his cloak wrapped around him up to his face as always. When he caught sight of her, however, he let his cloak drop to where she could see his face. He didn't say anything at first, but simply stared at her.
"Janus..." Lucca spoke, "I...I want to apologize, for earlier. That must have been embarrassing to you."
"You told her about us."
"Yes, I did...I didn't think it would do any harm, but...I'm very sorry." Magus didn't speak. Lucca said, "Please say something, Janus."
When he didn't respond, Lucca sighed and hung her head, and turned to walk away.
"Where are you going?" Magus suddenly asked.
"I thought you were angry with me," she answered without turning around.
"I'm not angry. I actually think it to be rather amusing. Come here...please."
Lucca slowly turned and walked towards the wizard. He held his gloved hand out. Before taking it, Lucca said,
"You forgive me?"
"Of course, I forgive you. There is nothing to forgive really. After that little interrogation, I am fairly sure that I can get through just about anything else."
"What are you saying?"
Magus once again offered his hand. Lucca took it this time and he pulled her closer until she was near enough to touch her forehead to his chin. She was not afraid of this, but leaned her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and said,
"I am not ashamed of this. I do not care what the others think about it. But what do you say on the matter?"
A tear fell down Lucca's cheek, warm against the cold, "Janus, they will try to keep us apart. I know they will."
"And if they try," Magus rubbed Lucca's hair, "they will have to deal with me. No one will take you away from me without a fight. No one."
Lucca smirked, "You are the only person I know who manages to sound romantic and threatening at the same time."
Magus raised an amused eyebrow, "Thank you..." After a moment, Magus put a hand underneath Lucca's chin and tilted her head up so their eyes met, "Would you be mine, Lucca, to leave everything you have to come with me when the time comes?"
"...You are everything I have, Janus."
"A 'yes,' then? To be my wife?"
"Yes..."
Without further hesitiation, Magus kissed Lucca firmly on the lips, and wrapped his arms tighter around her. Then he kissed her on the face, where her tears had fallen. The blackness had washed away from his heart at last, and warmth took its place.
"Janus..." Lucca finally managed to speak, "how will we be married? How were people in Zeal married?"
"They had the words of blessing spoken over them by the Guru of Life..."
"The Guru of Life? You mean Melchior?"
"Yes."
"We can go to Melchior then."
Magus blinked, "But we don't know where he is."
"Of course, we do, silly! Oh, wait... You weren't there. Melchior was taken to my era, and lives there now. How else do you think we were able to mend the Masamune?"
"Really?"
"Yes, really!"
"Well, then, we can wait until we go back to 1000 AD."
"I'll make sure that's our next trip. It shouldn't take a good deal of convincing to make Crono want to visit his mother or to have everyone visit the fair or something like that. And while they're distracted, we can take the Epoch and go to Melchior."
"That sounds like a good plan."
After sealing their covenant with one more kiss, the two walked back towards Dorino, with their arms interlocked.
Meanwhile, back at the End of Time...
Gaspar was doing a happy dance while Spekkio bewilderedly looked on.
"You are a very eccentric person," he said.
"Oh, it is wonderful!" Gaspar exclaimed, totally ignoring Spekkio's comment, "I do love weddings, even small ones involving only three people! I wish I could be there!"
"Why? You get to watch it from here."
"It's different from actually being there. I wish I could bestow my blessings as well."
"I don't think the others are going to take too kindly to this."
"They don't have to find out right away. I love happy endings!"
"You're a loony."
Author's note: I think Gaspar is the unofficial president of the LuMa fan club, what do you think?