Sunrise over the tango factory: Last chapter for this fic! It's been hard to write, a challenge, but I've enjoyed it. And from the reviews I've got, you've enjoyed it too! THANK YOU for all the gloriously wonderful feedback. You're all great, more than great…. I'll find a word to describe how great you are!
Toodles!

Lying on his stomach on the upper storage decks, Lister flicked tiny scraps of metal with his finger, taking little pleasure in hearing it 'ping' as it bounced down the steps.

All the while Rimmer's words were still running through his mind.

'Who does he think he is, saying things like that!' thought Lister bitterly, flicking a bit of metal with more force then necessary.

He heard the door swish open and the sound of footsteps making their way across the deck and up the stairs, but Lister ignored it, choosing to concentrate on the final journey of the scraps of metal.

The footsteps came to a stop, and someone cast a shadow over Lister and the fragment of metal soon to meet its impending doom, but still he ignored it.

"Mind if I sit down?" asked Rimmer; his arms folded behind his back for Lister wouldn't see him twisting his fingers anxiously.

Lister raised his head to look him in the eye…he did look incredibly guilty. Wouldn't hurt to let him have his say.

"Yeah…go ahead," he muttered, hurling the scrap of metal across to the room.

Rimmer gave a grateful smile before sitting next to Lister. He allowed a small pause to occur as he planned out in his head what he was going to say.

It had to be phrased exactly right.

It had to sound sincere, caring and above all apologetic.

It hadn't to sound as if he'd just made it up on the spot.

"Sorry"

Short yes. Simple yes. Imaginative no. Origonal no…but he'd put a lot of thought into it…sort of!

"So you should be." replied Lister, although with not much spite. Over the years, He'd come to think of an apology from Rimmer to be the same as the weatherman being right…rare and to be treasured.

Rimmer took a deep breath "its just…what I'm trying to say if…well try to see this from my point of view"

Lister propped himself up on his elbows "How'd you mean?" he asked,

Rimmer cleared his throat "I watched you collapse…and honest to God, at that precise moment…I thought you were dead…you didn't move or anything…you were stone cold…hardly breathing, I've never been so scared in my life!"

It was at that point that the severity of what he'd done dawned on Lister.

When he'd taken the pills, the way his muddled brain had thought about it was that he was just going to sleep…and never waking up. Lister had never really stopped to think of what would really happen, the after effect for everyone else…

He'd tried not to think about his actions…as far as he was concerned, it never happened, but now he was forced to take a good, long look at his attempted suidice...and he didn't like it!

"I didn't plan to try and kill myself" he said quietly "It just sort of…happened"

Rimmer let out a laugh "So you just all of a sudden woke up and thought 'oh, I'll kill myself…"

"Well…yeah" replied Lister "I weren't thinking straight…." He paused "Let me level with you here man. I thought I could cope with anything Rimmer" he then began to count on his fingers "I've coped with being stranded on a planet that was so vile and disgusting it made a motorway toilet stop look pleasant. I've coped with being thousands and thousands of miles away from my home. I've coped with being 3 million years into deep space with little hope of getting back to earth. I've coped with encountering people and things that would love to kill me…I've coped with all that…and yet I couldn't cope with you leavin'"

He let the end of his sentence hang, before slipping into silence. Rimmer didn't move a muscle. He played back Lister's statement over and over in his head.

"and yet I couldn't cope with you leavin'"

A strange feeling descended over Rimmer, it made him want to laugh and cry at the same time…

"So, it's true then" he croaked after some time "you did try to kill yourself because of me"

Lister nodded "I missed you… more than you'll probably ever understand…I found myself wishing every day, with all my heart that you'd come back…I knew I couldn't go on alone…Cat and Kryten, they're not the same as you…I needed you!"

It was at that point that his eyes filled with tears, he excused himself by turning away before allowing the tears to flow more heavily. Rimmer's arm twitched before he leaned over to Lister and wrapped his arms round his shoulders.

At first Lister pulled away from the abnormality of the situation, but after a few seconds he allowed Rimmer to actually hug him, for the main reason that it felt right.

A couple of minutes ticked by before Lister finally spoke up.

"You can let go now"

"Oh right" blushed Rimmer, before hastily adding "well, actually I was waiting for you to…erm…leave first"

"Oh right…I didn't know" said Lister, smiling slightly.

Still neither of them moved.

Rimmer coughed "when you said 'now', did you mean 'now now' or 'whenever the hell you feel like it now'?"

Lister laughed "Your call, man"

"In that case" grinned Rimmer, pulling him closer still "get comfy…"

END