The course of fantasy.
Eve hung up the phone and continued to type export orders. Her somewhat funny coworker got out an elaborate paper doll which looked reminiscent of her boss, Mr. Haris. Seems an awful lot of work to spend so much time on a mediocre paper doll to make one joke, thought Eve, but she listened anyway.
"Hi, I'm boss Haris. I run this place with an iron fist, cheap suits, and REALLY BAD BREATH! I've got the IQ of a fruit bat, and anger issues, RRR!" Her coworker crumpled up the doll and threw it on his desk.
"Totally man, Haris is a complete-" She was cut off when the 'employees only' door was abruptly opened by Mr. Haris himself.
"A complete what?"
Thinking quickly and intelligently, Eve dug in her backpack and found a Twix candy bar. She shoved the bar of caramel crunchy chocolate cookie into her mouth and mumbled some words. "Nnghffm Syulmfy Mughm Fusm."
Mr. Haris looked Eve up and down, and then walked over to her coworker. Thinking UN-originally, he tried to find another sweet, or 'dulce' in Spanish, but came out with a pathetic, futile Mr. GoodBar.
"I don't like employees who talk bad behind my back," said Mr. Haris as he removed a foldable baseball bat behind his back.
"No sir, please, I beg of you! Noooo-" Crunch.
Mike finally ended his abysmal journey with a bone-crunching UMPH.
"OWWW!" Mike started to take sharp intakes of breath. A green fluttery glow was cast over him by a girl with red hair and a white cloak.
"...?" Mike stared. He was thankful for the healing, but he'd never met a girl who says nothing. Mike took a look around him to see where he was. More blackness everywhere, just like last time.
"Crap, it's like I'm in some sort of angsty teen's bedroom." He tried to walk around to see if his back now worked properly, only to see his bodily shape take on a more apparitional form. "Hey, what the- help!" The white-cloaked girl simply stared at him with her blankness and gave him the cold shoulder wit her mute properties. The blackness started to fade, until at last he appeared to be in an all-white room. He was in an office chair (sadly without wheels) and looked about him. He was facing a white desk with nothing on it but a speaker phone.
"Hello, Mike." Mike jumped back in fear as the speaker, well, spoke, and banged his head against the wall. "You're so stupid, which is why I have called you here today. Well, if this is day. It might be night, who can tell?"
Wow, he's just so mysterious, thought the MikeZ0R. "I'm not stupid! Where the heck am I, anyway?"
"You, sir, are in the mind of Square Soft." Well, it was big, black, and surprisingly blank, just like he'd imagined it. The Speaker phone paced back and forth across the desk, as if deciding Mike's punishment in front of a court. "Excuse, Mr. Speaker Phone, but what's your name?"
"Names are irrelevant, Mr. Mike. Just call me TB."
"You're so profound. Sir, I mean, 'TB,' could you please tell me how to get out of here?"
"No, that's retarded. The reason I called you here is that you hate Final Fantasy, correct?" Mike nodded his head. 'Mm hmm, and you think you could do better, correct?" Mike vigorously nodded his head. "Mm hmm. So, Mike, I offer a little challenge to you. If I were to... let's just say... Send you to each of the game worlds in this beautiful franchise, do you think you could make them better?" Mike got shaking-baby syndrome. "Mm hmm, I thought so. Well, I'll give you a list of rules as how to go about this then." The speaker phone seemed to regurgitate a slip of paper. Mike caught it in mid-float, and it read as follows:
Thank you for entering the FF sweepstakes! DA rulz are as followz:
1. It cannot be a minor change. Things such as throwing some litter into the trash can will not count.
2. For each version of the game, you must make that many changes. (For example, Final Fantasy 6 will require 6 changes)
3. Suicide is not allowed!
4. If you fail to come up with some positive improvements, you must beat the game to progress.
5. Failure to comply with these rules and obligations will result in you being the BnZ0rd into the land of stupid jokes. (Popsicle abound)
Thank you for your time!
Mike folded up the paper and put it in his Jean pocket. "We'll be in touch." With that, the speaker phone ate his soul and he was sent in some more blackness to his destiny.