Disclaimer : All Harry Potter things are copyright of the one and only JK Rowling. All the Fairy Tales are owned by whoever wrote them first... which wasn't me. Thank you ever so very much. I just put two and two together and got fifty-two. o.O Odd sort of math, I know... but yes... I own NOTHING.
Fairy Tale Theatre: The Harry Potter Edition
Masterpiece the First
The Beauty of Sleep
Throughout the ages, there has been a story told about the sleeping maiden awoken by her one true love. But, of course, this tale is absolutely poppycock. I mean... dragons? Fairies? Evil witches? Well - okay - it is all true... but nobody really knows exactly how it happened... until now...
Now my friends, you will hear the tale of The Sleeping Beauty only as the Potter-verse can tell it to you...
x x x x x
"Oh, look, she's holding your finger, Ronald!"
Prince Ronald stared at the little whippersnapper as she grasped onto his finger. He felt sick to his stomach just looking at her... for a ten-month old she had extremely bushy, thick hair and huge front teeth. He looked over at the baby's mother, whom he thought gorgeous, then looked back at the small girl wrapped in pink lace...
He shivered at the thought that he was betrothed to that horrid little maggot...
"She's twitchy," Ronald cocked an eyebrow at the small bundle of - well, he couldn't say "joy," that's for sure - pink frills.
"Bawah..."
"Hush."
Ronald looked over to his mother who was holding his newborn sister who was gurgling out tons of nonsense; not that he cared, she was only a few weeks old. He looked back into the bassinet at his betrothed and hoped that she grew slightly pretty...
"Pay attention you lot!" The hall began to echo with drums as four small colored lights flew into the room.
"Rowena Ravenclaw!" The voice called out, as the blue light flew up to the bassinet and waved her blue wand around the child.
Ronald heard something along the lines of "wit and mental power."
"Helga Hufflepuff!" The voice called out, yet again.
"The gift of friendship and loyalty wherever you go." Ronald rolled his eyes as the yellow witch sprinkled yellow dust on the baby. He heard a small sneeze and hoped that he didn't catch any baby disease.
Testy little things, he thought
"Salazar Slytherin!"
"The gift of cunning, I give to you..."
Ronald didn't hear the rest, since his mother put both her hands over his ears. He figured it was something to do with the baby being of "impure blood" by Slytherin's standards.
"Godric Gryffindor!"
Ronald smiled as the red light shot sparks in the air, and his booming voice filled the hall... "Little one, a gift I bring to you is that you be bold and daring in the face of great danger and adversity."
Applause filled the room as The Great Four disappeared with flashes of color.
x x x x x
"What's her name?"
Prince Ronald; now at the ripe old age of twenty-five; was trying to ignore his sister. It was, by no means, an easy task.
"Who?"
"The one that you're betrothed too... don't you know?" Ginevra asked incredibly.
"I don't know." Ronald said very matter-of-factly.
"Why did mother and father betroth you anyway? William, Charles, and Percius are the only ones really inheriting anything. You're only going to be-"
"Either a baron or a count, yes I know." Ronald rolled his eyes at his sister.
"I can be anything that I want to be, you know." Ginevra muttered lazily. She found great pleasure in annoying her brother about him being the youngest boy.
"Yeah, you'll be the Queen of Sh-"
"Oh, look!" Ginevra pointed towards the castle. "It's that Fleur girl that you fancy!"
Ronald turned towards the castle to see the most beautiful woman on earth enter the gardens.
"Well, you great prat... go after her!" Ginevra shoved her brother in Fleur's general direction. "Maybe if you fall in love you won't have to marry... your betrothed."
Ronald turned to smile at his sister and hurried off.
He's so completely in love. Ginevra thought. I can't believe mother and father actually betrothed him. It's completely wrong and unjustified. I can only thank Merlin that they didn't betroth me Lord Finnigan's boy... oh, the horror of it all...
x x x x x
"Frederic and George!"
"George and Frederic!"
"Jesters extraordinaire! Sent to you from King Arthur and Queen Molly... bit of an early wedding gift, if you know what I mean."
One of the jesters winked at Hermione... was it George? Or Frederic? She smiled slightly and turned away.
"We thank you very much." Hermione stared at her father who bowed neatly to the jesters. "Who is who?"
"I'm Frederic," the one on the left said with a bow, tipping his multi-colored hat. "The smart one."
"And, I'm the much more handsome, George." The one on the right took a step forward and threw his hat in the air. It then burst into flames and fell back onto his head. Frederic took out his wand and splashed water onto his brother's head.
"Absolutely marvelous!" Hermione's father gushed. "Don't you think so, dear?" He was clapping and laughing loudly.
"Yes," Hermione smiled again. "Very much so."
x x x x x
"You have to marry that bucktoothed cow?" Ginevra stared at the picture that Frederic and George were sending back. They both had magic cameras in their hats that sent photographs through a crystal ball; so Ronald and Ginevra could see exactly what the girl looked like. "She's absolutely hideous!"
"She's not that bad," Ronald thought. Considering the last time he'd seen her, she'd been a lot uglier and a lot more pink...
"Not that bad?" Ginevra looked at her brother and placed her hands on her hips. "Do you need glasses?"
"Er... no?"
"You go straight to mum and dad and tell them that you will absolutely not marry Hermione, Lady of Dentistry. You tell them that you're marrying Fleur Delacour of the Veela Tribe." Ginevra insisted as she waved her wand over the crystal ball... the picture vanished.
"But..."
"Don't you argue with me!"
x x x x x
"Ginevra, dear, it is a good match for Ronald." Queen Molly patted her daughter's hand and smiled at her.
"But... she's ugly and he doesn't love her!" Ginevra quarreled.
"Oh, so you're the one who's been putting all these thoughts in his head." Molly nodded her head, knowing that her daughter had been making Ronald crazy. "Fleur is only a knight's daughter... Hermione is a baron's daughter. The match is much more suited for our dearest Ron."
"But, mum!"
"Ahem?"
"I mean... mother!"
x x x x x
If nobody was going to do anything about it, then Ginevra would stop the wedding before it even happened. She would... oh, yes... she would.
She looked into her crystal ball and decided on a very horrid plan. She didn't want to be evil, but sometimes, things just called for a dash of evil. She twirled her wand around her... her usual red robes were now a deep, dark purple. She then put a purple mask over the top of her face. It only showed her eyes and from her upper lip down.
She smiled at the evil garments she had magicked onto herself.
x x x x x
Hermione sat down at her vanity table and stared at her reflection. She wished that her hair was less frizzy, but that wasn't half her worries. How was it going to be... marrying someone she had never met before. Why did her parents want to do this to her, anyway? Well, of course, she knew that she was marrying a prince... and he'd become a baron or a count or... something like that. So, it was a good match for her... but that did not mean anything.
She didn't want to marry. At least not yet and not to ... this Prince Ronald ... who, she had found out was ten-years older than she was.
Hermione sighed and looked towards her window. A purple light was floating around outside her window. She had heard about the Four that had given her gifts when she was young, but she didn't remember purple being one of their colors. She rushed to the window and opened it up.
The purple light entered the room and slowly materialized into a figure about the same size as Hermione. She gasped at the masked figure.
"Hello, dear..." a woman's croaky voice filled the room. Hermione noticed a set of full lips moving, that looked absolutely nothing like an old woman's lips...
"Hello," Hermione didn't want to be impolite. "May I ask-"
"You have gave me great displeasure," the woman spoke as if Hermione were poison itself.
"I-I... what do you mean?" Hermione backed away from the stranger in complete shock.
"Before the sun rises on your sixteenth birthday... you will prick your finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel... and thus your life will end for all eternity!"
Hermione clutched at her chest as she felt the curse fall over her.
"Goodbye dearest Hermione," the woman croaked and turned back into a purple light. She floated away and left Hermione to think about her fate.
Hermione, as smart as she was, knew that there was always a counter curse for everything. She hurried out of her room, feeling a pull towards the house next door. She knew her neighbors the Parkinson's had a spinning wheel, and her heart leapt in fear. As Hermione ran down the stairs she flew past the doors to the library and found a large book on counter curses.
She found nothing that night, but knew that she still had three more weeks before she would fulfill the witch's curse.
x x x x x
Now, I know, dear reader that you are probably fearing for Hermione's life. Fear not, for if you know the false version, then you know she doesn't truly die. Well, it's the same in the real version of events. However, our "beauty" is too smart to let one stupid curse kill her...
x x x x x
Hermione had found a counter curse. It wasn't going to stop her from touching a spindle, but she knew that she wouldn't die from it, either. Of course, the counter curse she had placed upon herself made her sleep until her true love came to awake her. But, it was still like being dead. Almost.
x x x x x
"The wedding is called off;" King Arthur placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Your betrothed is under a coma and cannot be wakened."
Prince Ronald stared at his father, "Really?"
"Yes," Arthur looked gravely at his son, "I guess that you will never marry, my son."
Ronald faltered, "W-what!"
"If Hermione does not awaken, then you cannot possibly marry her. You'll die old, lonely, and useless... unlike your brothers."
Ronald took in a deep breath and ignored what his father had just said. "Can I not marry another?"
"Marry another? Marry another?" Arthur laughed and patted his son on the head. "The Baron and Baroness of Dentistry would attack us with all their muggle force! How dare you suggest such tomfoolery!"
x x x x x
"Ginevra!"
"Yes, Ronald?" Ginevra smiled up at her brother. "So, are you marrying Fleur, then?"
"No," Ronald muttered.
"No?" Ginevra handed a letter to an owl. "Take this to Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington, please." She looked at her brother, "What do you mean... no?"
"That blasted Hermione girl has done gone and put herself in a vegetable state!" Ronald exclaimed as he yanked a quill from the nearest peacock. The peacock gobbled at him and Ron growled back.
"What do you mean?" Ginevra tried to hide the smile. It had been she, of course, that had killed Hermione. "Vegetable state?"
"She's in a bloody coma!" Ron dabbed the quill in ink and blotted the tip on the page. "Now I have to write Fleur and tell her that we shall never be able to marry now..."
"She isn't DEAD?" Ginevra couldn't believe her ears. Coma? COMA? "If she were dead, would you be able to marry another?"
"Of course I would, but the bleedin' pigeon can't be killed now. I heard she has sentinels surrounding her room, waiting for her to wake up." Ron muttered as he scratched feverishly onto the page.
"What if I killed her for you?" Ginevra placed her hand on her brother's shoulder, to slow his writing.
"Don't be daft."
"No... I'll kill her... and you shall be able to marry whomever that suits your male... well... I'm your sister so I won't go into that sort of nonsense." Ginevra took the page away from her brother. "Hold out on writing to your beloved for a while longer, will you?"
x x x x x
Well, to make a long story short...
What? Too late you say? Bloody hell...
Well... Ginevra wasn't very good at normal spells, even though she could do a very nasty curse here and there. As we all know, of course. Anyway. She tried to make the sentinels vanish so that she could sneak into Hermione's bedchamber and poison her. However, her spell caused the entire household to fall under a deep sleep. Now, this should have been a good thing, but when the spell was cast; the castle began to quake and shake. Ivy and weeds and thorns all curled themselves around the castle; creating a protective barrier around the sleeping maiden and all of the inhabitants that were in the house.
And as the years passed; nobody dared go to Dentistry House, for fear of falling under the spell themselves.
Every year Ginevra tried at least sixty times to enter the house to kill Hermione; but the plants always fought back. After five years, she just gave up, and decided that she would finally go about her own life and stop meddling in her brother's affairs.
x x x x x
"Have you ever heard of the Dentistry House?" Draco Malfoy looked at his companions as they all rode through the countryside. He was having to make the long trip to Weasland; where the good King Arthur and his wife would hopefully knight him. He sighed at the thought of finally being able to slay dragons... at least legally now.
"Isn't that the bewitched place?" Blaise called from behind him.
"Yeah... some witch put a curse on the entire household to put them all to sleep. They say that a sleeping beauty is lying in the topmost tower." Draco winked at Blaise.
"And if you find your way to the tower; and kiss the girl that she will finally awake and make you the happiest man on earth with her beauty!" Blaise laughed out loud as he finished the tale.
"Absolute bollocks!" Goyle called out, though he was laughing with the rest of them.
"Let's stop by," Draco suggested. "See what really all the fuss is about!"
The caravan agreed with their leader and they took the road to Dentistry instead of Weasland. When they arrived they noticed that the house was indeed covered in vines and greenery.
"I say," Blaise stared in awe.
"Who's for a go at the old house?" Draco hopped off his horse and brandished his sword. He began to chop at the vines and slowly made his way across the moat.
x x x x x
Ginevra stared at the snake slithering in the grass. She had yet to marry, because of the stupid rumor that had been started by that pig of a girl Padma Patil, who was nothing more than a peasant farmer. The rumor claimed she was an evil witch. Even though Ginevra was the only one who knew it was true, it still was hurtful. She had found Padma and made her a welcoming mat so that Ginevra could beat her when she got dirty... which was more often than most welcome mats.
The snake coiled and looked as if it was about to strike, but Ginevra tapped her wand on its head and it slowly grew into a life-sized man. He had messy black hair, green eyes...
"Something is missing," she tapped his nose and a pair of glasses appeared. "Oh, yes."
"Sssssstthhhssttthhh!" The man hissed at her and she rolled her eyes.
"Oh, Harold," Ginevra whispered and the hissing stopped. The newly made Harold pushed the glasses further up his nose and blinked.
"Who are you?" He asked, the snake hissing gone completely.
"You are Prince Harold, the future King of Serpensortia and I am your soon-to-be bride. I'm Ginevra Weasley, Princess of Weasland." Ginevra curtsied and Harold bowed.
"You are beauty personified," Harold whispered. "Your red hair... your... freckles..."
"Don't try to romanticize our partnership. I only made you so I can be queen." Ginevra waved her hand in the air. "Though I hope you're well equipped, considering you were a snake."
"PRINCESS GINEVRA!"
"What is it now?" Ginevra turned around to face Frederic and George, who were running very quickly to catch up to her.
"Dentistry House is being... chopped! Some future knight wants to see if there really is a sleeping maiden in the tower!" Frederic tried to catch his breath.
"Don't be silly," Ginevra huffed, "I couldn't even break through the greenery."
"Oh, but him and his mates are having a real go at the old house." George nodded, his hat tinkling as his head moved.
Ginevra sighed and turned to her new fiancé. "Harold, dear, don't wait up." She blew him a kiss and whirled her wand as a broom appeared from thin air. "Do take care of him for me, boys."
She was off in a flash.
x x x x x
As Ginevra flew towards Dentistry; she saw that half of the green that was usually there was now lying in heaps. Her eyes bulged as she flew even faster and landed on the grass, nearly falling over at the sheer force of the landing.
"What devilry-?"
"Avada Kedavra!" Ginevra pointed her wand at the unsuspecting man as he fell over quickly. She took a deep breath as she realized it was only the carriage driver. She looked into the sky and imagined herself the most horrid of all creatures...
For sure, the men would be scared of a dark purple dragon. She breathed in and released a stream of fire into the castle.
x x x x x
"MERLIN!"
Draco turned around quickly as he heard Blaise's frightened cry. "Wha..."
A wall of fire erupted into the house and Draco could only stare as the flames engulfed his friends. He made sure he had a firm grip on his sword as he also took out his wand.
"BLOODY DRAGONS!"
x x x x x
Ginevra laughed and spurts of fire shot out of her nose. She heard the screams of her fallen foes inside the house. She hoped that she had killed a few of the cursed sleepers as well.
"All right, dragon!"
Ginevra sputtered as she looked down to see a blonde man walk out of the smoke and right into her line of fire. He was a complete idiot.
Ginevra breathed in again and blew another spout of fire that the man expertly dodged. She snarled and took a large step towards him... it obviously threw him off guard as he tried to do a binding spell. She laughed and waved it off.
"Pathetic fool," she boomed as she reached to pick him up with her claws. He swung his sword and she saw that her entire hand had been cut from her arm. She didn't scream, but she felt the pain as the blood seeped from her body. In anger she snorted two balls of fire at him as he kicked her hand into the moat's, freshly red, water.
"Try to swipe me again, I'll chop your other appendages off as well, you ugly brute!" The man yelled as he stabbed her toe.
Ginevra now had him, as he wasn't looking up. She was going to make him a blonde kabob... she never fancied actually eating other wizards... but this time she'd make an exception. As she breathed in she felt a slight pain in the left side of her chest. She looked down and saw that there was a sword right where her heart should be...
If I have a heart at all, she thought as the blood poured from the wound. Obviously it is indeed there.
"Take that..." the blonde man cried as Ginevra fell to the ground. She looked up to see him snarl at her and rip his sword out of her ribs.
And with that... the evil witch Ginevra was defeated. It was no more than she deserved and it definitely took someone long enough to finally kill the old... er... hag ...
x x x x x
Well, as you may know, Draco went up to the topmost tower and kissed the now ever amazingly beautiful maiden. Hermione wasn't stupid, you see. She knew she wasn't the most beautiful girl in all the world... so... as part of her counter curse, the longer she slept the more beautiful she became. After five years (considering she wasn't all that ugly to begin with) she was the most beautiful in all the land.
When Hermione opened her eyes, she saw her new husband for the first time and wept as he carried her down the steps to see her mother and father awake from their spell-induced sleep.
Hermione, Draco, and all of those in Dentistry lived happily ever after. Until of course Draco found out that Hermione was muggle-born and decided that Pansy Parkinson (Hermione's neighbor with the spinning wheel) was a much better match for him. But, Hermione married the King of Serpensortia and lived happily ever after as Queen Hermione. Even though, her husband King Haroldstayed in a mental institution, because he kept saying that he really was a snake.
In Weasland, Ronaldfound out that Hermione had married another and finally was able to marry Fleur of the Veelas. They divorced six months later, because Ron found out that Fleur was actually William's (his eldest brother) mistress.
So - not all happily ever afters are indeed all that happy. But, that, dear readers, is thetale of TheSleeping Beauty as it should be. No more... no less... but a masterpiece in it's own right.
x x x chapter end x x x
Author's Note : Each chapter will be a new Fairy Tale from around the world. Some you'll know; some you probably won't know... but I'm going to use many different kinds.
Also; this is only a sampling at the pairings I'll use. I'm actually against H/G... but it suited very well with this story... so... there it is. It's just however the story takes me, really. :) And, no I don't hate Harry or Ginny ... I just don't like the pairing.
Masterpiece the Second:
The Beast's Story