Hahaha, No, I'm not dead! I just was being lazy and spending too much time communing with nature. (Sits under a tree with headphones on)
Fans: KEEP WRITING, DAMMIT!
Okay okay! No one guessed who the stranger was. I'll give you more time cause it's hard. No, it's not Yondaime! BIG HINT: Ignore what he looks like now; it's a new form but the same soul.
BIGGEST HINT: He has an unholy fear of teapots. (There, I just gave it away)
Disclaimer: I own Kamiya and the plot, nothing else!
The clock slowly ticked away as Kamiya and Sasuke sat quietly in the office, waiting for Naruto to appear.
Suddenly, the lights went off and the door burst open, filling the room with smoke. As the smoke cleared, Naruto stepped forth into the room.
"Nice entrance," Kamiya noted appreciatively.
"Thank you"
"Naruto?"
"Yeah, Sasuke-baka?"
A pause. "Is that a disco ball?" He pointed.
Naruto glanced at the sparkling ball of doom that hovered precariously above his head. "…. Yes."
"You've been spending too much time with Lee and Gai" Sasuke pointed out. "Please don't start wearing green spandex"
Naruto fumed. "Hey, at least I'm not the one who needs therapy!"
Kamiya cleared her throat and the two boys looked at her. "I believe you were in here just last week, Naruto-kun" She said, giving the blond genin an amused look. "Something about a horrible fear of squirrels…"
"Squirrels?" Sasuke asked incredulously.
"Shut up, they were stalking me! They were outside my window when I woke up. They were looking in at me in the shower. They were watching me as I ate breakfast. They were EVERYWHERE!" Naruto began breathing fast and his eyes darted nervously to the door and windows. "I SWEAR THEY'RE AFTER ME! THEY'RE OUT FOR MY BLOOD! MY BLOOOOD! THEY'RE GONNA BOIL ME ALIVE AND EAT ME WITH RAMEN! –With a nice side of cashews and some pecan sauce. BUT THEY'RE STILL GONNA EAT ME!"
Kamiya stood, walked over to the panicking blond, and slapped him smartly across the face.
"OW! Oh…. Sorry, I got carried away" Naruto said sheepishly.
"Maybe I should schedule you another appointment"
"No, I'm getting help elsewhere." Kamiya raised an eyebrow. "Gaara's helping me whenever I start to rant. We call it the 'Stop it or I'll squish you' method."
"Ah, a wonderful method" Kamiya nodded knowingly. "Works even when it doesn't."
"But I'd be dead if I didn't stop…" Naruto mumbled, totally confused.
"Yes, but you wouldn't be ranting anymore, would you?" Kamiya pointed out.
"True"
Sasuke twitched. "I thought this session was supposed to be about me!" He exclaimed.
"It is"
"Then why are you talking about Naruto!" Sasuke demanded angrily.
"Because I felt like it" Kamiya retorted, scribbling 'Has an incredible need for attention' on her clipboard. "Now, Naruto-kun, what do you think is wrong with Sasuke-kun?"
"Should I write you a list?"
"No, just the main thing." Kamiya clarified.
"Alright" Naruto crossed his arms and thought. "His biggest problem is….. He thinks he's so damn tough."
" I AM tough!" Sasuke defended.
Naruto shot him a look that shouted 'Sure, and I'm Mary, queen of Scots'. "You keep thinking that"
Sasuke growled. "I could beat you any day!"
"I'd like to see you try!"
"I don't even have to try!"
"Boys, boys! Calm down! SHUT UP!" Kamiya exclaimed. The two genin stopped bickering immediately and stared in shock at the doctor's outburst. Kamiya composed herself and pointed to a chair. "Naruto, sit" Another chair was pointed at. "Sasuke, sit."
The boys grudgingly shuffled over to the chairs and sat down.
"I need a vacation." Kamiya mumbled, rubbing her temples.
"Then take one" Sasuke prodded. "I'll just leave now." He stood up to leave.
"SIT BOY!"
"Eep."
"Haha, Sasuke-baka got yelled at!" Naruto laughed.
"I'm getting a headache." Kamiya reached into her desk and pulled out some aspirin. Popping them in her mouth, she downed them with a glass of water on her desk. "Now," She began. "Sasuke, we're going to get through this day. Why? Because I need that paycheck. No questions."
Sasuke nodded mutely.
"We're going to get through this."
Another nod.
"-And I'm going to try to get a date with your brother."
Nod- "WHAT!"
"Haha, got you." Kamiya teased. "He is cute though. Around my age, too..." She trailed off contemplatively.
"I thought you were my therapist."
"It's not like I picked you."
"……Oh yeah, that makes me feel loved"
"Good, that's what I'm here for."
"Can I leave now?" Naruto asked. The doctor looked at him curiously for a moment, having forgotten that he existed.
"Alright, Naruto-kun. Have a nice day. Eat lots of Ramen"
Naruto waved happily. "Thanks! You too. Sasuke, get better and see a surgeon for that stick up your ass."
"Thanks, I wi-HEY!"
"Haha, bye!" Naruto pulled a face at Sasuke before running out of the room.
Sasuke sank lower in his chair and pouted. "So, how many more idiots do I have to 'talk' with?"
"About four or five, I forgot." She shrugged. "Sakura-chan should be here soon."
"Oh great, I'm gonna have to consult with rabid fangirls now."
"It's not that bad" Kamiya assured.
"Do YOU have fangirls?"
"……..No. "
"Then you wouldn't understand me" Sasuke huffed with an air of dignity. "No one understands me. The only woman who understood me was Katherine"
Kamiya raised an eyebrow. "Katherine?"
Sasuke nodded solemnly. "She was the best. I told her all my problems and she was proud of me and respected me and told me I was handsome…" He sighed. "Too bad she left."
Kamiya grinned. FINALLY they were getting somewhere. "Why did she leave? Where did she go?"
"I don't know where she went." Sasuke admitted. "One day Itachi told me to stop talking to her."
"Aw, why?"
"Because he said she was imaginary."
Kamiya facefaulted. "Imaginary?"
Sasuke seemed to be getting even more depressed now. "Yes, that's what he said. I don't believe him. I looked for her but I suppose I'll never see her again."
"There there. I'm sure she's still very close to you." (Like in your head).
"Thank you"
"Now would you like some tea while we wait for Sakura-chan to show up?"
"Alright"
WOO! Another chappie done. I was inspired because people began to make threats on my life. Yeah, it's scary.
Review.
NOW!