COLLIDE

Chapter Four

"Rose, you really need to rest more. I know you are well aware that this is going to be a difficult pregnancy. You need to stay as far away from stress as possible. I also think that you need quit your waitress job. Being on your feet all day is the worst possible thing for you right now. Not to mention the stress that goes with that kind of a job."

"But…I can't just quit my job. I make good money there. I can't just quit. What will I do?"

"I'm sorry Rose, but that's my recommendation. You need to take care of yourself. Besides, I'm sure you could find something where you didn't have to be on your feet all day. And, you still have a long way to go in your pregnancy. You can work, just try to find something as stress free as possible."

Rose nodded, still not reassured by Dr. Milbert's words. She completely understood about staying away from stress, but how was she going to find another job? She would most likely have to move from her apartment above the café and then have to find somewhere else to live. Nothing seemed to be going her way anymore. Not only did she have to deal with her job, Dr. Milbert had been right about it despite her unwillingness to admit it, she now had to deal with a 'high-risk' pregnancy, finding another job and another place to live.

Rose sighed in exasperation and headed out of Dr. Milbert's office after making her next appointment. Time to start looking.

"What did I tell you, my boy? Ten drawings this week! Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!" Bill exclaimed.

Jack was speechless, still in shock over his newfound success. Ten drawings in one week. Seven had been sold last week and eight the week before. Not to mention the fact that Bill had each one selling for about a fifty dollars.

"I guess the rich really like their art, huh?" Jack replied good-naturedly after finally finding his voice.

"They love their art, Jack. And now they love you too."

Jack could only smile and sat down by Bill's desk.

"When will you have some more drawings for me? We're almost sold out of what you gave me in the park."

"Oh, I'll have at least two more for you by tomorrow. I was thinking about heading to Central Park to work some more."

"That's where you do your best work, Jack. Listen, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Those drawings you have of that gorgeous woman, have you given any more thought about selling a few of those?"

Jack laughed politely and shook his head. "I've already told you, Bill. Those aren't for sale."

Bill returned the laugh and Jack's easy smile. "I suppose if I were you, I'd want to keep them for myself too. She must have really been something. What was she like?"

Jack's expression quickly faded and was replaced by a much somber one. "I don't know Bill."

Bill placed a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder. "It'll come, Jack. Just give it time."

"I have been giving it time. It's been, what, almost three months since I got off that ship and I can't still remember her. I can't remember anything! I don't know who I was, where I've been. I can't make sense of any of these faces that I keep seeing because I don't have any memories to place them with!"

Jack practically leapt off the desk and headed for the door, leaving Bill behind.

Rose walked slowly into Central Park, somewhat depressed at the outcome of her job search. She should have known it wouldn't go the way she had hoped. She should've known that it would be hard for a single and pregnant woman to find a decent job. She had a few potential employers that she was a widow, but they hadn't seemed to be believe her, especially given the fact that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. It wasn't really a lie, she had had to tell herself. She had to believe that Jack would have married her. She couldn't think about the alternative. She couldn't think about his reaction to her having Cal's baby.

She shivered uncontrollably despite the warm breeze that blew around her. It wasn't like her to be so pessimistic. However, in her situation, she assumed that anyone would be pessimistic. After all, she was pregnant with the child of a man she hated and she was almost positive that Jack wouldn't have wanted to deal with her baggage. She knew that the life she dreamed at night about probably wouldn't have happened anyways. Not her current condition anyways. Maybe if it was Jack's child…even then she wasn't so sure. He had never even told her he loved her. So how did she know he wouldn't have just left her on the Carpathia or alone in New York?

Silently cursing herself, she shook her head, as if trying to shake her thoughts from her mind. She couldn't think of Jack that way. She loved him. She had been sure that he had loved her too, until recently. But he was dead and she would never truly know. She just had to trust what her heart was telling her and forget about the horrible thoughts she was having. Jack was gone, Cal was never going to find her, and there was nothing else she could do. Her situation wasn't going to change just because she wanted it to.

"Miss Dawson?"

Rose looked up and had to keep herself from grimacing. It was that awful girl from the café. She always seemed to follow Rose around. She had good intentions but she never left Rose alone when they were working together.

"Oh, hello, Emily."

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"I was just getting some air. Trying to clear my head."

"Oh I see. Do you want to talk about it? I mean, sometimes, it helps if you talk to someone."

"Trust me, Emily, you don't want to know. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you or if you did, believe me, you wouldn't want to talk to me ever again."

"Ohhhh, ok. Whatever you say, Miss Dawson."

"Emily, how many times have I told you to call me Rose?"

"I don't remember, but, Miss Dawson just seems more proper."

Rose shook her head in mock disbelief and politely patted the bench for Emily to sit down.

Jack sat on a bench, working intensely on a drawing of two kids flying a kite. The elation on their faces drew him in and it was the perfect scene to capture. But a voice caught his attention…

"Miss Dawson?"

It practically jerked him out of his seat and he abruptly left it to walk closer to where the voice was coming from. As he drew closer to a nearby bench, he saw two women talking with their backs turned to him. One of the women had fiery red hair and his breath drew in rapidly. No, it couldn't be her. The woman had called her Miss Dawson, not Mrs., and he was pretty sure he wasn't married. She had to be his sister or a cousin, some kind of relation. Whatever she was to him, she had to someone who could tell him about his past, so he had to meet her.

As he got closer, he could hear what they were saying more clearly.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"I was just getting some air. Trying to clear my head."

They were sitting on the bench now and he was so close he would almost touch her. Well, it was now or never.

"Miss Dawson?"

Emily was talking endlessly about their boss at the café and was boring Rose practically to death. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she felt a wave of nausea hit her. She lightly covered her mouth with one hand, and put the other on the edge of the bench for support.

"Miss Dawson, are you alright?"

Rose nodded weakly and was about to speak before she heard the voice she never thought she'd hear again.

"Miss Dawson?"

Rose flung around and her mouth dropped in shock. It was a ghost. It had to be. She wasn't going insane. No, no, no…he was dead. She had seen his body float into the ocean. His name wasn't on the survivor's list. But he was here…standing right in front of her.

"Jack?" She whispered.

Jack couldn't believe his eyes. His instincts had been correct. It was the woman that dominated his dreams and his drawings. She was real. He wasn't insane after all.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you…" He trailed off when he saw the expression on her face. She looked like she was going to cry, then within moments, she looked almost like she was being tortured.

Rose didn't understand. Why wasn't he leaping over the bench to embrace her? Why wasn't he kissing her right now? Why was he looking at her like he didn't know her?

"Jack? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jack's brow furrowed in confusion, then realized that she had no idea that he wasn't sure who she was. "I'm sorry, Miss Dawson…"

"No, don't be sorry. I understand, you don't want me anymore. I get it now. You never really loved me, did you?" She quickly turned on her heel and walked briskly away, leaving Emily and Jack behind. Inside, she was absolutely fuming. She had known all along that this would happen. She should have listened to her head. Wait…he had called her Miss Dawson. He couldn't have known she had taken his name…

She immediately turned around and paled at what was going through her mind now.

"Jack…"

"Miss Dawson, I should have told you right away. When I woke up on the Carpathia, I had no idea who I was, where I was, or how I got there. I can't remember anything that happened to me. And I don't know who you are either. I'm sorry to tell you…"

Rose covered her mouth in shock. Suddenly, the world was spinning around her and she felt like she was going to be sick. No…this wasn't happening. Not now. It would have been better if he just didn't love her anymore. Then everything went black…

Jack cried out in shock and quickly caught her before she hit the ground. Casting a worried glance to Emily, he carefully picked her up and carried her back to his room.