Disclaimer: Geez, the cliffhangers just keep coming, don't they? Um … not to hurt anyone in a serious way or anything, but … there's another one at the end of this chapter? (hides) (doesn't give moon-faery69 another threat) Hehe … but, seriously, keep reviewing or – no! No more threats! Just review and you'll make me very happy:D Oh, and, um, if the part where two certain people (you'll see what I mean) come back seems a little short and underdone, it's supposed to be. Try to see the scene in your head and you'll get it … at least, you should get it … if you don't, just complain in a review. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows!

moon-faery69: Lol, yes, Morgan and Hunter do eventually get back together. I'm not that mean. And … um … who said anything about someone dying at the end? (starts to sweat inexplicably) Who said anything? Who have you been talking to? Tell me!

huge fan: Whee, reviews! I like reviews, in case you couldn't tell :D Thanks for the compliment! I hope it won't take me ten days to post this chapter … hmm … I really need to work on updating more quickly.

Raynornlimegreen: Waah! I'm so sorry I haven't been reviewing your story! I just posted another one :D I'm so absentminded … I read something and then think that I click "review" and actually review and then I don't … I'm just stupid that way :P Please accept this chapter as a token of my apologies!

Part XXIV: Staring at the Sun

Maybe life is like a ride on a freeway
Dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way
Everyone's around
But no one does a damn thing
It brings me down, but I won't let them

Alexis

I spent most of my days now in a haze. Actually, all of my days. The doctors had pumped me with so many drugs and anesthesia that the only time I actually felt the bed and pillows that I was lying on was when some nurse forgot to crank up the drip again. I had spent long enough in hospitals to know that I probably had a feeding tube in my arm or somewhere else.

I spent all of my time in a haze because … the alternative? Yeah, pretty sure it's worse.

It was the most crushing mental defeat I had ever experienced. Physical as well as mental, I suppose. After two years of being bed-ridden, of being nothing but another cripple taking up valuable space in the overcrowded hospital, I had been allowed back into the world again. I had been allowed to walk again. I didn't have to be a genius or even psychic to know that I wouldn't ever be able to walk again. The council had released its fury, and everyone … Hunter, Sky, me … had to pay the price.

Sky … Goddess, just the thought of her is enough to make me want to cry again. I had never really cried before, not even after my mother died, but it seemed that every minute now I had something that I wanted to cry about. She had saved me from the council. I owed her my life. But I guess none of that mattered. I had thought that she was something different. I thought that she might be one of the precious few people in my life who ever thought I was worthwhile.

In my head I could hear her telling me that it wasn't my fault … or hers, either, for a matter of fact. Pressing problems, urgent worries were keeping her away. Something was about to happen, I could sense that. Something that would probably ensure that I'd never see her again. Or anyone else.

I knew that she wasn't away by choice. It was just easier to believe that after the doctors wheeled me away that night was the last time that I'd ever have to see her. It just made things simpler.

I bit my lip slightly. I could hear distant yelling. What was it? The voice sounded familiar. I closed my eyes and concentrated as a picture began to swim before my eyes.

Though you hear me
I don't think that you relate
My will is something
That you can't confiscate
So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun

Morgan

Hunter began to shake his head immediately, violently. "What? Why, Morgan? Why would you want me to do something like that?"

"It's the only way," I said. "I've seen the future, Hunter, and, to be frank, things aren't as nice as I used to think they'd turn out." I just looked at him. "You have to take my word on this. I would never be asking you if I didn't think it was the right thing to do."

"The right thing to do?" he cried, his voice shocked. "Do you have any idea what it is that you're asking me? You're asking me to take away your magick forever."

"I know."

"Do you know what it does to people? Were you even paying attention when we stripped David Redstone of his powers? When your father lost his?"

"I was there, Hunter. I know what happened."

"Then you know that it's just a matter of time before it's not just your magick you've lost, it's your mind, too." His eyes were wide with shock and horror. I met them unwaveringly. "Morgan, you haven't been a witch for very long, but I know you. It will destroy you. Whatever you saw in the future cannot have been bad enough to warrant –"

"It was," I said, quelling the small twinge of pain I felt at remembering seeing my friends' dead bodies. Feeling my future self. My emotions. "It was bad enough and, believe me, I've thought this out. I'm very serious and I'm not overreacting."

"Morgan, you don't know what you're asking me!"

"I'm asking you to strip me of my powers," I said firmly. I paused. "Make it so that I can't hurt people anymore. Ever."

"Morgan …" Bree had spoken up from the corner of the room. Her deep brown eyes were filled with confusion. "Morgan, why do you want to do this? What did you see in your future?"

"It was everyone's future," I whispered. "Not just mine. Because … that's it. My future is everyone's future. Their destiny … their moment of death depends on me. When I choose to kill them."

"Morgan, you're not making sense," Hunter said loudly, a kind of desperation in his voice.

"I killed people. A lot of people. Hurt dozens more. That's why Muireadhach and the Diobhail have been tailing us across Ireland. They're trying to prevent my future from coming true. I heard what he said. I massacred his clan. They were just one group among millions. They were just some of the innocents … all of them—men, women, children … it didn't matter. They were just some of the ones that I chose to hurt … willingly. The Diobhail were the only ones with enough initiative to come here and try to stop me."

"Morgan, that's crazy," Robbie whispered, his voice tight. "You would never hurt anyone."

"Wouldn't I?" I whispered. "It seems that it's all I've ever done. Cal and Selene … I killed them." I saw Hunter about to protest, and I raised my voice. "Don't try to deny it, Hunter. I killed them! I killed them and then life just continued as usual!" A rare note of bitter sarcasm slipped into my voice. "Never mind the fact that she just killed two people, Morgan's life is just fine." I looked away, feeling tears burn my eyes for a moment before receding. "And the times I've come so close … I almost killed you, Hunter. I threw a knife at your neck. I almost got you killed, too, at that Amyranth cell in New York City. I almost attacked you that night that I shape-shifted with Ciaran. The number of accidents … it's just-it's too many."

"Morgan, that happens to everyone, every witch with strong powers –"

"You're a witch with strong powers," I said sullenly. "So is Sky. I've never seen the two of you shoot someone with witch fire just because you wanted to cause them pain. Albeit, Bakker was trying to rape my little sister, so he kind of deserved it, but I wanted to hurt him so badly. I've never seen the two of you put a spell on someone's car and almost cause them to crash just because he flicked you off when he was driving down the street at night."

I shook my head sadly.

"Too many times … too quickly. Something always stopped them from happening, though … and often it wasn't in my control. Left in my care … those people would have suffered even more."

I looked Bree in the eyes. "And you don't want to know what I saw in the future. You don't want to know what I did to you. To all of you. Just know that it was … awful. Cruel. Evil and sick and twisted. And preventable."

"Morgan …" Hunter's voice was pleading now, almost like a child's.

"I need this," I whispered. "I need this to happen, Hunter. I need this to happen so that I know for sure that you will be safe. That all of you will be safe. That the world isn't going to go to hell when something ticks me off." I paused. "The consequences could be a lot worse, Hunter … if you don't do this for me."

It was so silent in that kitchen that I could hear the wind blowing outside. It was howling mournfully, and I shivered. Hunter wasn't looking at me, staring at the floor with a pained expression on his face. Bree looked frozen in time, staring off into space. Robbie looked a little angry.

"It's Morgan's choice," Bree whispered finally, still staring off into space. "Isn't it? It's her choice to decide what happens to her."

"Excuse me?" Hunter whispered, snapping his head around to stare at her.

"She's always been the responsible one," Bree continued. "The smart one. If this is what she wants, then … we should support her."

I couldn't help but smile at Bree slightly. Unfortunately, Robbie took another angle.

"How can you possibly agree to this?" he demanded, rounding on Bree with a fury that I hadn't seen in him in … well, ever. "This is our best friend we're talking about!"

"Robbie, she is a person!" Bree yelled, raising her voice to match the volume of his. "She has the right to do what she thinks should be done!"

"So you think that stripping her of her powers is going to help?" Robbie asked incredulously. "You heard what Hunter said! It'll drive her insane!"

"Um, hello, guys?" I asked. "Friend in question right here." I pointed to myself. "I know what I'm doing."

Robbie spoke through gritted teeth. "If you are really serious about this, Morgan, then you don't know what you're doing."

"Robbie, she's a responsible adult," Sky said, finally speaking up from the table. "Not legally, of course, but she is mature enough to –"

Hunter stared at his cousin, stunned. "You want to let her do this?"

"Well, seeing as I cannot really do that much to stop her and considering that no one else has suggested another plan –"

"Oh, how about this one: she doesn't do it?" Robbie yelled furiously.

"Robbie, I know that you're upset, but there's nothing you can do to stop me!" I said forcefully.

"Because I'm not a blood witch, right?" Robbie asked, his voice pained. "My opinion doesn't matter because I'm not a blood witch."

"I never said that!"

"You didn't have to. It's not exactly a secret that you still think that we don't know what we're talking about. Just because we're not blood witches like the rest of you. But this isn't something you have to be a blood witch to understand. I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm talking about losing my best friend."

"Robbie, I …" I sighed. This was hurting so much … it hurt so much to do this to my friends. But I knew … I remembered how much I had hurt them … how much I would hurt them in the future. This had to be done. "I just can't deal with this right now."

"Well, get ready to!" he cried. "Morgan, do you realize what it is you're considering? If you don't have your powers, it'll be just Hunter and Sky to make sure that the Diobhail don't kill us all!"

"Robbie, if I didn't have my powers anymore, there'd be no reason for them to –"

"Oh, please. And I'm supposed to believe that they'll just let us walk away unscathed? That this isn't some sort of trap? You'll be walking right into Muireadhach's scaly, disfigured hands!"

All of us jumped suddenly as the kitchen door swung open with a loud, earsplitting creak. To my surprise, Killian and Mike walked in. Killian glared at all of us.

"Where in the hell have you lot been? We went back to the lodge in Portrush and it was completely deserted! You had us worried sick. But never mind that. So …" Killian clapped his hands together eagerly. "What did we miss?"

A pause.

"Robbie, would you just listen to her?" Bree cried, her face reddening.

"This isn't helping the situation," Sky was saying.

"No one is accepting the fact that this plan has no basis in reality!" Robbie yelled.

"Robbie, I don't want your acceptance! I just want your support!"

"How can you expect us to support you on this?" Hunter demanded angrily. "You don't understand what you're asking!"

We were yelling. The noise pounded inside my head, killing me, but I needed to make them understand.

"You can't just go and do this, Morgan!" Robbie was now shouting.

"Everybody shut up!" Raven suddenly yelled, louder than anyone else who had been shouting their heads off. We all stopped and stared at her, surprised. She was staring at all of us. "God, would you look at yourselves? I know this is challenging, but let's go for a voice of reason here and –"

"Raven, will you just back off?" Robbie demanded. "This isn't about you! In fact, the only reason that you're even here is because Sky is and because she, for reasons unfathomable to me, actually cares about you. Don't start acting like your opinion actually matters around here!"

I stared at Robbie, a new anger coursing through me. Didn't he see what a hypocrite he was being? How unfounded his accusations were? I sighed. I had had enough of this.

If I seem bleak
Well, you'd be correct
And if I don't speak
It's because I get disconnected
But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun

Sky

I got up from her chair and began to stalk towards Robbie, raging, my eyes flashing dangerously. "How dare you say that to –"

Raven grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Baby, don't."

"He can't say things like that to you!"

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Morgan's gone."

As everyone's gaze immediately snapped to the door, where Morgan had just been standing, I felt a gasp rise in my throat that never quite made it out of my mouth. She wasn't there.

"Oh, Goddess, no …" Hunter whispered under his breath. He took off running out of the kitchen, his footsteps pounding furiously down the hall. I looked at Robbie, Bree, Raven, Mike, and Killian for a split second before we crowded out of the kitchen after him.

When I ran, I didn't feel like a runaway
When I escaped, I didn't feel like I got away
There's more to living than only surviving
Maybe I'm not there
But I'm still trying

Morgan

The time manipulator chant worked extremely well, if I do say so myself. It was nothing too drastic; it just marginally slowed the flow of time. I had found it in Maeve's Book of Shadows. She used to use it when her mother was calling her in for supper and she wanted a few extra minutes with her friends. I had never used it before, but all of my friends' yelling had slowed down. They hadn't noticed me slip out.

I looked at Muireadhach expectantly as I stepped into the dining room.

"If my friends won't help me, I know you will."

"Why do you assume that?"

"Because you want to prevent the future just as much as I do."

If I seem bleak
Well, you'd be correct
And if I don't speak
It's because I get disconnected
But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun

Hunter

I stared at the column in front of me, too stunned to say anything. I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind me.

"Oh, God …" Bree whispered.

Hunter's voice was tight. "There are traces of her magick on them."

The chains that once held Muireadhach were hanging limply on the column, a silent memorial to the powerful creature they had once captured and bound.

"You wouldn't do it, Hunter. That's why … you wouldn't do this, so she found someone who was powerful enough to do it anyway."

"She went to them … alone."

Though you hear me
I don't think that you relate
My will is something
That you can't confiscate
So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun