Disclaimer: Oh, my God … I can't believe how close this story is to being … done! Lol, I still have a few chapters up my sleeve, but look for it to end around … hmm, this is Part 30, so … I don't know, 34? 35? That might even be too many. No more than five, that's for sure. I already have ideas for my next story, though—and, yes, it will be a Sweep story, so never fear! Check my profile for a brief summary of it. It's going to focus on Hunter and Sky's lives before they moved to New York. It should be interesting :D If you want the written version of the funeral ritual that they perform, just ask and I'll e-mail it to you! Anyhoo, thanks for putting up with me for so long! Review when you're done! Oh, and if you really can't figure out who Morgan is talking to at the end, just ask in a review. (cough)NewYork(cough)

Taintedpromises: Lol, so now instead of threatening each other, are we mentioning whatever we're listening to at the moment? I'm not really listening to anything right now. I'm streaming TV clips … hmm … anyway, ack! I'm almost done! (deep breath) Wow, I still can't believe it. It's taken me almost a year to write this story. I'm going to miss it so much! (sob)

nikki: Hehe, thanks! That's one of my favorite chapters, and I do enjoy the ass-kicking aspects of writing this story, so … :D

moonfirefairy: Hmm … you asked two questions, so I guess I'll answer them in order. 1) Do Beck and Shelagh know that Morgan is Ciaran and Maeve's daughter? I get why you're confused. I never really put that into the story, but if I had to take a guess, being the author, I'd say that Hunter probably hasn't mentioned that to them. As we know, Shelagh is a very opinionated witch, and she probably wouldn't approve of Hunter dating Morgan if she knew who Morgan's parents were. Beck would probably be all right with it, but it wasn't something I really explored. Yes, they do know that Morgan and Hunter are dating, though, because I think that would be fairly obvious to anyone. As to the muirn beatha dan issue, I'd say probably not. Hunter and Sky both have some problems with their guardians/parents, so it doesn't seem to me the sort of thing he'd be willing to share with them just yet. If I was continuing the story, I'd definitely bring Shelagh and Beck to New York (just for a visit) or … (gasp) maybe even Hunter and Sky back to England to continue the story lines and character development. Who knows? There should be quite a bit of Shelagh and Beck in the story I'm going to post when I'm done with this, so be on the lookout!

VKC: I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long! I guess if you don't review again I'll know that you really did die …

Part XXX: Traditions

Are you drowning or waving?
I just want you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along

Hunter

I took in very little of what happened in the next few days. Most of them were spent in a sort of haze. Everything around me seemed very white and blurry, and I knew that I could hear voices talking near me, but I couldn't make out quite what they were saying. I'm not even sure how many days passed before I awoke from the unconsciousness that had engulfed me after that night in the cemetery. When I opened my eyes, blinking furiously to adjust them to the harsh glare of the lighting above my head, I realized that I was in a hospital. Two realizations hit me very quickly, my mind jumping up and running again the instant I opened my eyes. Something must have happened after Sky and I had tried to rescue Morgan. That brought on two burning questions: 1) Where was Morgan? and 2) Where was Sky?

My desperate calls for a nurse, a doctor, my friends, anyone, were answered by Bree and Robbie, who ran into my room, all but tripping over each other as they tried to both get through the door at the same time. They both hugged me and I groaned in pain; my back was aching, and my head was beginning to pound.

"You're weak," Bree said, pushing me back so I was resting against the bed again. "Stay lying down. I'll get the others in here."

"Where's Sky?" I demanded, my voice scratchy. "Where's Morgan? What's going on?"

"Morgan is okay," Robbie said; he was hiding something. My eyes narrowed.

"Where's Sky?"

It wasn't until I had been awake for five hours, examined by every physician in the hospital, and declared out of jeopardy that I found out what had transpired in the cemetery after my little bout of unconsciousness. Something began to gnaw away at me the second that Bree told me the truth.

"Mike's dead?" I whispered, my mind unable to comprehend what she was telling me. "And he stopped the Diobhail?"

"That's what we think," she said apologetically. "Morgan hasn't exactly been Miss Share-all. She's grieving." She paused. "At least, we think she is. She doesn't want to see either one of you. Sky's been awake for a few hours now and Morgan still won't go in her room."

"How did it happen?"

"A single stab wound," Bree said, her voice quivering slightly. "The local police are opening up a homicide investigation, but Morgan's got them thinking that she got hit on the head and can't remember anything." She sighed. "I hate to admit it, but the Portrush police are profoundly stupid."

"I can't believe this," I whispered, my voice so quiet I could barely hear myself. "And he stopped them? He killed them all?"

"That's Morgan's story," Bree said with a shrug. She gave a weak smile. "But it's over. The Diobhail are gone. This is all over and summer almost is, too. We have to get back to New York soon. We still have school."

Thinking about anything became too exhausting. I finally persuaded one of the doctors who came in to fix an IV drip in my arm to move me into Sky's room so that I could see her and Robbie and Bree and Raven all together. My cousin was looking paler than usual, and she was sporting a large gauze wrap on her forehead. But she was sitting up in bed when Robbie wheeled me in with a wheelchair.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said dismissively, seeing my eyes widen when I saw the huge bruise on her arm. "Just a little internal bleeding."

"A little?" a voice in the corner asked. "Yes, that's all it was. You were smashed into a mausoleum and it was just a little."

I started and looked at the opposite side of the room. Alexis was sitting in a wheelchair there, filing her nails calmly. I stared.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought you were smart, Hunter," she said with a warm smile. "Of course Killian brought you here. It's the closest place to the cemetery." She looked genuinely happy to see me. "It's such a relief to see you all again."

"And you're okay?" I asked in surprise.

"Of course," she said. "Of course, I may never be able to walk again, but …" She shrugged. "It's all right. I'm moving on. I've got a therapy appointment in about half an hour."

I was unable to grasp my mind around the surrealism of everything happening around me. "Where is dear Killian, anyway? He's the one that brought us here?"

"He, um …" Sky looked uncomfortable. "He left. I suppose being in a hospital was too much for him. After Mike …"

"And Morgan?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from possibly darker topics. "I want to see her."

"She's downstairs with Beck," Robbie said. "She actually hasn't left the waiting room."

"Uncle Beck is here?" I asked in surprise, looking at Sky. She nodded.

"The hospital found him in Oxford," she said. "He called Ma at Pemberley, too. She should be here by tomorrow."

"Can we eat anything?" I asked, feeling my mouth beginning to water as Bree opened a small package of candies and popped one into her mouth. "I'm starving."

"Not as of yet," Sky said grumpily. "Something about 'upsetting our already battered and bruised bodies.' That nurse acts as if it was our fault we got chucked into a mausoleum."

"Who told you about Mike?" I asked her quietly.

Her eyes saddened almost immediately. "Raven did. It's just …" She shook her head and blinked back tears. "It's too horrible to think about."

"I can't even begin to imagine," Bree whispered. "You know, what she's going through?"

"I can," I said softly.

No one had much to say to that. Sky took my hand comfortingly, and I smiled slightly at her. I just wanted to see Morgan, but from the sound of it, she wasn't really up for visiting us.

"She'll come around," Sky whispered. "She just needs some time to herself. To … sort things out."

I nodded. I understood that more than anyone, but it still hurt. I wanted to see her. I wanted to tell her that I was there for her. I had experienced first-hand the sort of pain that she was struggling with now.

"This might sound mad, but …" Sky paused. "Maybe what she really needs is that. To be alone."

I looked at her curiously.

"I mean, there's bound to be a certain amount of … blame, isn't there?" she continued, looking worried. "She's going to be blaming us. For not stopping Muireadhach from hurting him like that."

"But that's unfair," Alexis whispered. "I mean, you guys were out cold and bleeding to dea—" she stopped quickly. "Um, not doing so well. When all that went down."

"That's not how Morgan will see it," Sky said sullenly.

I didn't want to think about what they were saying. The fact that I was already feeling a certain amount of guilt about what had transpired in the cemetery that night … it just made it worse. To know that Morgan was probably feeling the same thing. She was wondering why we hadn't been able to stop the Diobhail.

"Have you even heard her side of the story?" I asked tightly. "I mean, what happened after we got put out of commission?"

"Apparently Mike did some spell to kill all of the Diobhail," Bree said sadly. "But it was too much for him and he was really weak. Muireadhach got to him and …" Her voice caught and she looked away. "But it was quick, she said. And then Muireadhach followed suit. With the dying and all."

There was silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. I was staring at my hands, feeling a well of despair opening inside of me for Morgan. She must be suffering so much. I was torn out of my reverie when the hospital door opened and I saw the welcome face of Uncle Beck.

"Hey, Giomanach," he said with a smile as he hugged me.

"Thanks for coming, Uncle Beck," I said, feeling so glad to see him I thought I might burst. I had always felt safe around him.

"Are those snacks I see?" Sky asked, eying what he was carrying in his hands.

"Oh, yes," he said quickly, setting what was easily the largest gift basket I had ever seen in my life down on the bedside table. "Little gifts from some people in my coven. They're very appreciative of what the lot of you did for them, so they're trying to repay some kindness."

It took me a moment to realize that Morgan had come upstairs with Uncle Beck. She was standing in the doorway, watching everyone else with an unreadable look on her face. She looked up and saw me looking at her, and I started. She looked so different. Not physically, of course, but … there was something different in her eyes. She looked … older, somehow.

"This was so kind of them," Sky was saying, looking through the gift basket. "Salted plums, macadamias, watermelon seeds, raisins …" She held up a package wrapped with a red ribbon. "Hey, Hunter, they even brought banana chips!"

"I sincerely hope these aren't also made with potatoes," Bree said, popping one into her mouth.

I wasn't looking at them; I was looking at Morgan, who had wandered from her position by the door to the edge of my bed. We just looked at each other for a moment. If it still didn't hurt to move, I would have pulled her into a hug. She looked so lost.

I opened my mouth to say something, but she held up a hand.

"I'm not … I'm not ready to talk yet," she said, so quietly that the others couldn't hear her.

I nodded. That was all that I needed to hear.

"All right," I whispered. I would wait for her. That was all that I could do.

However, as Robbie tossed Morgan a package of dried apricots, I couldn't help the uneasy feeling that rose inside of me. Something didn't seem right with the scene before me. There was something different about Morgan, something I couldn't put my finger on.

So we move
We change by the speed
Of the choices that we made
And the barriers are all self-made
That's so retrograde

Are you drowning or waving?
I just need you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along

The next day was possibly one of the most painful of my life. Aunt Shelagh had arrived around three in the morning, rushing into our room with wild eyes, her coat soaked with the rain that was pounding against the hospital walls, and nearly strangling both Sky and I to death with her "I'm-so-glad-you're-okay" hugs. She and Uncle Beck had managed to convince one of the doctors to allow Sky and I to leave the hospital—under strict supervision from our guardians, of course—for the funeral.

We decided not to hold it at the Ballynigel cemetery. None of us were quite ready to venture back there just yet. Uncle Beck and Aunt Shelagh found a place near the river on the outskirts of Portrush that would be a good place. It was a small plateau, grassy and secluded, hidden by a sloping hill. Two days later found us standing in a circle around the chosen gravesite. The local coroner's office had already enlisted a funeral home to dig the grave. I was filled with an emotion that I couldn't put into words as I sat in my wheelchair next to Uncle Beck, a slight breeze rippling around me. It was a beautiful day. The deep blue sky was filled with puffy clouds, and it was warm and sunny.

Uncle Beck and Aunt Shelagh had kindly offered to fill the roles of High Priest and High Priestess in the ritual as Sky and I were both still wheelchair-ridden. The coffin in front of us was open, but … the body … we couldn't see it. The coroners had wrapped Mike's body in white linen, and I bit my lip slightly. It made everything a little easier. I didn't know if I'd be able to help with the ritual if I had to see Mike in front of me like that.

Aunt Shelagh's face was expressionless, her voice calm as a breeze ruffled her green robe gently. It didn't even flicker the flame of the black taper that she held. "This is a place which is not a place, in a time which is not a time, halfway between the worlds of the Gods … and of the mortals."

Next to her at the head of the coffin stood Uncle Beck, looking very somber in black robes that matched his dark hair. Bree, Robbie, Raven, Killian, Alexis, Sky, and I stood around them in an evenly-dispersed circle. The girls were all wearing black robes, and Robbie, Killian, and I were wearing blood-red. Morgan stood directly opposite Aunt Shelagh and Uncle Beck, her face impassive. She hadn't spoken to me since she had in our hospital room. As she was now, she wasn't showing any emotions at all.

Alexis was crying softly as she lit the pillar candle in her hands. "As the sun sets, so our friend has left us. The water of our tears, like the salt water of the sea and like the water of our mother's womb, blesses this circle."

"As life is a day," Killian began, "so our friend has passed into the night." I found my heart growing heavier. I knew what he was feeling all too well. I was reminded of Linden's funeral, one brother burying another. It should not have to happen. "The fire of our life, the memories and courage, the strength given to us by our friend, blesses this circle."

"As all that falls shall rise again," Sky continued, her voice weak, "so our friend will be reborn. The air we breathe, this treasure of our life, the compassionate caring we give each other, blesses this circle."

"As the earth forms us, so our friend shall return to the earth," Morgan said quietly. "Our Mother feeds us, clothes us, she gives us everything and in the end she takes our bodies back. Earth blesses this circle."

Uncle Beck looked at Aunt Shelagh, who had lost some of her perfect composure. She seemed truly touched by what was happening in front of her. "You are the Goddess, as are all women. You give birth. You feed the children from your own body, and you take them back for a new birth. World without end, eternal creation."

Aunt Shelagh took a deep breath and met his eyes unflinchingly. "And you are the God, as are all men. You are born. You live and you die, only to be born again. All-Father, All-Destroyer, ruler of the land of the dead."

"Birth and death," they both whispered, "over and over and over."

Aunt Shelagh turned after a moment and looked back at the coffin. I was suddenly glad that she was the one leading the ritual. I knew that if it were any of the other girls up there, they would have started crying. I wasn't even sure if Morgan, who was staring at her feet, could have done it.

"You … you are dead. But none should ever have to die alone. We are here to help you with your death."

Killian looked away as a few tears escaped his eyes.

"There is only love, the greatest mystery," she continued. "We reach behind our fear. We open our hearts and our eyes in the light of this love."

I bowed my head as a sign of respect, and I saw the others follow suit out of the corner of my eye.

"Our lives are formed of many others, and we form our lives in turn," Aunt Shelagh was saying. "And when we are here with you after you die, we honor your life."

Bree and Robbie joined hands as Bree sniffled slightly. Her eyes were red.

"There is only love. The love of the Goddess gives birth to the universe. The love of our parents gives birth to us. The love of our friends and family sustains our life. Kindness, love, and pleasure—we are formed in these and we form each other. When we die …" She paused. "We leave them behind us."

But did he deserve such a thing? To have everything taken away at such a young age?

"You have left your family. You have even left gender. You cannot be a man or a woman and enter the other world. You have left behind your body. None who have bodies can pass into the other world."

She took a deep breath and looked sideways at Uncle Beck for a moment. He nodded, so slightly I barely saw it. She looked back at the coffin.

"We never get to have the ones we love forever."

Bree let out a small sob as Raven, with a sound somewhere between a cry and a gasp, sank down to her knees next to Sky. Sky pulled her into an embrace and kissed her forehead lightly.

"But what we get to keep are the memories we built with those people. Those can never be taken away from us." Aunt Shelagh paused for a moment to regain control of herself and sighed deeply. "But the Goddess is taking you back now. Her womb is the earth that will receive your body. Your body is a seed now, a seed of other lives."

"In a sacred space we have gathered to honor you," Uncle Beck said quietly.

He and Aunt Shelagh stepped forward and, with a bit of effort, closed the coffin. As the lid sank down with a loud creak, Bree sniffled loudly and Robbie blinked away tears.

"The sun will rise again," I said softly.

"Life continues," Killian whispered.

Alexis sniffled. "Love is all that we can be sure of."

"Only the Mother is eternal," Morgan whispered finally.

There was something hauntingly beautiful and sorrowful at the same time about the ceremony. After the ritual, Uncle Beck took Sky, Alexis, and I back to the hospital and the rest went with Aunt Shelagh to the lodge to pick up everything we had left there. When they came back to the hospital, though, Morgan wasn't with them.

"Where is she?" I asked Robbie in surprise as the others trooped into the room without her.

"She wanted to stay at the lodge," he said with a shrug. "I guess she's … trying to recover. She needs to be alone."

I nodded slightly and went back to my dish of tapioca with a sigh. I knew that Morgan needed peace and quiet at the moment, but something felt … different. I just wanted to be around her, offer her silent support. She could probably really use it right about now …

I am alive
I'm going to wait until the trials of confusion create
There are times when I feel the way we're about to break
When there's too much to say

Morgan

I stared at the words on the polished marble tombstone, my face blank and expressionless.

MICHAEL MacEWAN
1988 - 2004

BELOVED BROTHER
DEVOTED FRIEND

An áit a bhfuil do chroí is ann
A thabharfas do chosa thú

Your feet will always bring you
To where your heart is

A small flower, an orchid, sat on the mound of grass alone. I knew that Mike had liked orchids. He said he liked the way they smelled.

The words on the stone seemed so final. 1988 to 2004. Mike was there one day, and then he wasn't.

A small tear rolled down my cheek, so small that it shouldn't have counted as one. I didn't wipe it away.

We are home now
Out of our heads
Out of our minds
Out of this world
Out of this time
Out of this time

I miss you, Mike. But I won't let your gift go to waste.

I promise.

"Hi, sweetheart! How was your trip?"

"… Fine."