Disclaimer: Let us conjugate the verb "to disclaim". Disclaim. Disclaimed. Disclaimed. Boring, huh?

This takes place right a couple of weeks after Rory and Jess find out about her being pregnant. Since I don't really have a storyline thought out for this, I'm just going to wing it, hence the back and forthing.

Chapter 2: Jess Never Calls on Mondays!

Lorelai's cell phone rings, while she's having her usual morning Luke's coffee fix.

"Hello?"

"Outside."He grumbles, knowing his wife will just ignore him.

"Mom?" Rory's voice floats over the line.

"Hey Honey."

"Listen... I have... something to tell you."

Lorelai frowns at her daughter's serious tone.

"Rory? Is everything ok? Are you hurt? Did Jess do something to you? Should I hunt him down and kil him?"

Rory's eyes widen, and she hurries to correct her mother.

"Mom! Stop! I'm fine. Great, really. And things with Jess are great. And..." Rory shakes her head. "We're coming to visit next weekend."

Lorelai smiles

"Good. That's great." She glances at Luke, who's growing more annoyed by the second. "I'll talk to you later, Sweets, or my husband will disown me."

She turns to him after literally hanging up on her daughter.

"Something's up with those two."Lore states.

"Rory and Jess?"

"No, Syd and Nancy." Lore retorts dryly. "Of course Rory and Jess."

She sips her coffee.

In New York, Rory frowns at the dial tone.

Jess smirks at her.

"Scaredy cat."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"She didn't let me!" Rory cries "She started asking whether you hurt me, and whether she should kill you or not. Excuse me for interceding on behalf of your life!"

Jess rolls his eyes, and walks over to her, embracing her.

"You gotta tell her sooner or later, Ror. It's not like we're gonna be able to hide it any longer."

"Deja vu, much?" She mutters.

"It kinda reminds me of when we had to tell everybody we were gonna get married..." He admits.

She kisses him gently.

"We're going to tell them this weekend..." They share a glance. "You gotta tell Liz. And Jimmy."

Jess groans.

"Why?"

"Because! They're your family. They need to know."

"Really? We can just tell Luke."

"Nope. I called my mother. You call "She hands him the phone. "Either."

"We haven't told your mom, yet." He points out.

"We're telling her this weekend." She retaliates.

"Fine." He grumbles. "But if I call Jimmy, you have to tell Christopher."

"What? Why?"

"'Cause, when we tell Lorelai and Luke, and after I call Jimmy, you'll have told one person related to you, versus my two."

"But..."

"Nope. I call Jimmy, and you call someone else."

She pouts.

HedialsJimmy, grinning.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lyl."

"Jess! Is Rory pregnant?"

Jess blinks.

"What are you, some sort of psychic?"

"Well, you called, but it's not your usual Saturday morning phone call, because... it's 10AM, my time, on a Monday." She replies, matter of factly.

"That still doesn't mean I was gonna tell you..."

"And your voice was nervous. And... I really wanted..."

"Fine, fine. I give. We're pregnant. Happy? Jimmy there?"

"Yeah." Lily covers the mike end of the phone, yelling for her stepfather. "Jimmy? Jimmy! Jess!"

"Jess?" The older man checks his watch. "But it's 10 AM!"

"Just take the phone!" Lyl pleads.

"It's a Monday!" Jimmy argues. "Jess never calls on Mondays!"

"Which is why you should take this phone and speak into it." Lyly retorts, tossing him the cordless. On the other side of the continent, Jess rolls his eyes.

Rory giggles. He glares.

"Hello?" he says tentatively.

"Finally..." Jess grumbles.

"Jess? Something wrong? Someone die? Someone in a coma and..."

"Jimmy!"

"What?"

"I'm pregnant!" He blurts out.

"Get outta here!" Jimmy exclaims.

Jess smacks his forehead with his palm.

Rory laughs harder.

"What? Jesus! I'm gonna have a baby!"

"This a prank call, Jess? 'Cause I really don't need this. I'm gonna be late for work. I have to open the Inferno..."

"Jimmy! Shit! You think I would joke about this?"

Jimmy shuts up for a second.

"You can't be pregnant Jess," he says weakly. "It's genetically impossible for you to be. You're a guy."

Jess rolls his eyes.

"Rory's pregnant, Jimmy. I provide half of the genetic code."

"I kinda understood that."

"Really?" Jess deadpans. "I thought I was gonna have to give you the talk."

"Shut up Jess." Jimmy gathers his thoughts. "Shit, Jess, this is... big. Like... whoa..."

"Nice to see you're taking this well." Jess deadpans again.

"Hey! You throw me into chaos, and expect me to be coherent? Sorry, man, you gotta work with what you get!"

"Jesus, Jimmy! How hard is it to say 'Great news, Jess. Congratulations'?"

"Great news, Jess. Congratulations." Jimmy monotones."Happy?"

"Extatic." Jess retorques sarcastically.

They're both silent. Sasha walks in.

"What're you raising hell about? I could hear you a block down the street."

"Jess is pregnant." Jimmy informs her.

"That's not possible. He's a guy."

"Rory's pregnant!" Jess yells over the line.

"Wow! Congratulations Jess!"

"See? Easy" Jess points out to his father.

"I gotta go." Jimmy mutters.

"Fine."

"Hey, Jess?"

"What?"

"I'm happy for you, really. This is really great news."

Father and son, a continent apart, shake their heads, roll their eyes, and smirk.

"Thanks, Jimmy."

A/N: I know. Short. Like I care. I just couldn't proceed further. Carys says hi and begs you to feed her with your comments. M.