In the End
"Mommy! Mommy! Look at all the snow!" Zelos exclaimed, running out of his mansion in the noble's district to roll around in winter's first blanket. His three-year old hands had trouble packing the ice crystals together into a snowball, but he tried anyway and held up his prize-winning creation. "Mommy! Mommy! Make a snowman with me!" He pleaded to the woman also emerging from the house.
In her arms was a bundled up baby girl who cooed quietly in her mother's arms. "Not now, Zelos!" The adult hissed at the boy. Putting her attention completely on the baby, Zelos was left standing alone in the snow as his mother continued on to the Garden of the Goddess, located next to his mansion. It was always like this. Seles got all the attention, while the future Chosen of Tethe'alla was simply meant to behave and do as told. The only one who paid him any heed was the Pope and Zelos didn't like that guy anyway.
Following her into the garden, Zelos kept himself entertain by building his own snowman and patting the snow down extra tight. The giggling coming from behind him upset him because his mother never played with him like that. Finally getting fed up, Zelos stomped over to his mom and frantically started pulling on her arm. "Mommy play with Zelos now! Mommy never does anything with Zelos!"
Taking her eyes off Seles only long enough to glare at her other child, the woman grit her teeth. "Not another word out of you or it's another trip to the research institute."
Her threat was antiquate enough to silence the boy, but only for a moment. Whenever his mother wanted nothing to do with him, which was most of the time, she would drop him off at the Elemental Research Institute downtown as if it were a daycare. Except there they conducted on Zelos and his cruxis crystal like he were their human guinea pig. As long as it didn't kill him, their precious Chosen, nobody cared how much the toddler cried.
"No more!" Zelos exclaimed loudly.
"Zelos!" His mother was now very upset and set baby Seles back in her carrier. "You will do as told and stop your whining! If you weren't so important to everyone, I'd leave you at the first orphanage I could! It's because of you I had to marry that pig-headed idiot – even if he was Tethe'alla's former Chosen."
"But Zelos is a good boy!" He insisted.
Still sitting on the bench, the woman scoffed. "Seles' father, he is a good man." She was lost in the thoughts of her true love and sighed. "All I wanted was to be together with you." In a quick shift of emotion, she suddenly got angry and glared once more at the child who was on the verge of crying. "You are nothing but a cursed child!" In her state of instability, the woman backhanded Zelos and he fell harshly into the icy snow.
Getting to his hands and knees, Zelos whimpered as the tears threatened to fall. Pain…he could handle, so it wasn't the sting of his cheek that made him want to cry. He hated being who he was – even as a child – mostly because he didn't understand why everyone treated him differently.
Hearing his mother making choking sounds, Zelos stopped his crying to listen carefully. "It's…all your fault." The woman gurgled.
Eyes going wide, Zelos felt cold drops of liquid land on his arm and at first he though they were her tears. When he turned to gaze at their tiny forms, he quickly saw they were not crystal clear teardrops at all. They were a deep red – the color of blood. "Red snow?" He asked out of innocence. Glancing upwards he saw the remnants of a fireball burning away on his mother's stomach…right where he had been standing.
Her face held a vacant expression as shock immobilized her. She held her stomach out of pure reaction, but didn't register much of anything else.
"M-mommy?" He whimpered, getting to his feet. The blood from her wound dropped down her dress and into the snow where it melted the snow and became a hellish sludge.
Reaching her arm forward, she loosely grabbed her son's shoulder and stared straight ahead – now blind and unable to find him otherwise. "You…should never have been born…" Closing her eyes, she fell backwards into the snow…leaving a shocked son and a crying daughter behind.
"Mommy? Mommy no!"
One thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
I have to make it! I just have to! I'm running from Meltokio towards the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge. The night of my mother's death resurfaces, but I push it into the back of my mind. I'm afraid of loosing someone else close to me and so I rush to prevent another tragedy. You're hurting and I understand that, but from what you're summon spirit, Corrine, said – you was ready to do something drastic.
The bridge isn't as well traveled as it used to be, so I don't meet much opposition on the way. As the sea comes into view, I glance back and forth, frantically trying to catch sight of you. Looking up I see you on one of the suspension poles high above me. No…you couldn't be thinking of… "Sheena!"
I see you turn towards me and it's clear you're surprised I was there. I leap up the various poles and wires until I'm on another pole directly opposite of you. "Sheena, don't do this!" I plead.
"I can't live knowing they're dead because of me!" You counter. I didn't know the particular details of your last mission, but I'd heard from Corrine that it was…unsuccessful. "Every time I close my eyes, I see their bodies twitching under his power – hands reaching out to me. I let them all down!"
I instinctively take a step forward and quickly notice just how high up we were. If you were to jump from this height, the water would be like solid polycarbonate. "Whatever happened back there, I'm sure no one blames you!" Please believe me, Sheena!
"Everyone does! I can hear their voices, even from the other side. It's all my fault!" In your grief and guilt, you - the summoner that so unknowingly made a difference in my life - leap off the three story bridge down into the sea, saying a silent goodbye to everyone who ever knew you…even me.
"NO!" My fear of loosing you plays out before me in slow motion. I push off my pole and leap across the gap separating us and over the edge towards your falling form. "Sheena!" Acting without thought, I wrap my arms around you and spin around in midair so my back faces our calm blue enemy.
The pain was intense but short, and when I regain consciousness, I see you sinking into the watery darkness below. No, you can't be… Martel, don't you dare take her away from me! Swimming over to you with what's left of my strength, I wrap one arm around your waist and struggle to the surface with the other.
Shooting up into the clean spring air, I take a deep breath and notice with worry that you're still unconscious. Finding shore not too far away, I swim on my back and kick with my legs until I reach dry land. My remaining will to stay conscious drains away and I drop into the sand like a piece of discarded driftwood.
As light once again reaches my eyes, I come to only to find your enraged, tear streaked face looking down at me. "Why did you stop me?" You demand. "I don't deserve to live!"
My short-term memory returns and with my renewed strength, I push you off me and pin you against the sand with my arms. "But you dying doesn't change what happened! Nothing good can come from you throwing your life away!" You're not like me!
"All those people…depended on me…and I let them all down." You whimper. It pains me to see you hurting like this and even though there's not much I can do, I pull you up and wrap my arms around you, holding you close. I won't ever have the courage to tell you how I feel, but I want to at least be there for you when I can.
No matter what happens.
Pushing away from me, you jump to you feet and stand up. "Don't you think for even a second, you know what I'm going through. Cause you don't." You glare at me, tears still swelling up in your ruby eyes, then turn and run away. How can someone with life want to die so earnestly? Even me, being the Chosen, don't want to die. But unlike me, you have a choice. Choose to live Sheena…for both of us.
You didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on
But didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory
I see Lloyd sitting there, pouring out his beliefs to Tiga – temporary leader of the village of Mizuho, and though I'm moved – I know it's all in vein. It'd be easy if it were just one person, but Cruxis is made up of an entire organization of half-elves turned angels. Combined they have enough power to destroy both worlds. At least this way, Tethe'alla is safe.
"I've been thinking about that for a long time. Someone asked me why I came all the way to Tethe'alla; what it is that I want to do. I want a world where everyone can have a normal life. I'm tired of people having become sacrifices. I'm tired of discrimination. I'm tired of people becoming victims. I'm tired of it all." Lloyd's speech moves the vice-chief and he puts Mizuho's resources at Lloyd's disposal. But that pits us against each other, Sheena. Even if you don't know it yet…we are now enemies. "But Tiga, you sure you wanna turns the royals and the church against you like that?" I ask.
"How about if I ask you? Given a choice between the forces which wish to sacrifice one of the worlds, and the force that wishes to preserve both worlds, which would you side with?" He replies.
I want to roll my eyes, but raising suspicion with the leader of Mizuho's Intelligence Network isn't gonna help me keep my cover, so I cross my arms casually. "I'd like to say, 'the one that's likely to win,' but I suppose I'd want to help the side that wants to preserve both worlds." Typical textbook answer. Good thing he bought it. Pronyma would not be pleased if I got caught now. And my deal with Mithos would be null and void. I keep this going and it's goodbye Chosen status!
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Well, our time's almost up. After Pronyma gives the word, you won't ever look at me the same way again, Sheena. I don't expect you to understand, but after all this time of trying to do what's right, I'm gonna do what best for number one: me! Side with me if you want, but you'll be stubborn and ignore me, or patronize me no doubt. I saved your life and still you belittle me. Well prepare to get a taste of your own medicine.
We come to the Tower of Salvation and that teacher of yours is all googly eyed again. "I'm curious to see what the design of Tethe'alla's Tower of Salvation is like. Now, Zelos! Open the door! Quickly!" I don't think I'll particularly miss her, but maybe Mithos can put her to use designing more powerful exspheres.
Keeping up my façade, I shake my head with a smile. "You know, you can get really scary sometimes." But then again, so can I. Opening the door is a piece of cake, and I lay on the dumbass act really heavy. It doesn't matter what you think of me now…cause that's all about the change. "Oh yeah, check me out! It's my time to shine! Do I look like a Chosen or what?"
Lloyd blows my off as usual, and I give him a mock salute. The group starts to get suspicious, starting with that little half pint Presea and her bodyguard Regal. I think I liked it better when she didn't talk. She's too smart for her own good. "You're even more…um…" She says.
You, of course, take the bait and tease me some more. "Even more obnoxious than usual? Nah, he's always like this. Just ignore him." You keep thinking like that, Sheena. Whatever could've formed between us is history and when this is all over, I'll be free and I could care less what happens to you. Toss me aside as many times as you want, but a patient hunter waits to strike.
Presea's closer to my game than you'll ever be. For this I comment, "She's pretty sharp." Oh, but I'm not talking about you Sheena. I know you don't see this coming. Call it my farewell gift.
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far
You glare at me, but what does it matter now? I'm up here and you're all down there. Your group tries to pull their saintly crap on me, but it won't work. "Oh, shut up. I'm just putting myself on the winning side. What you're trying to do is hopeless and meaningless. What's the big deal? Colette wanted to be a sacrifice, remember?" That's the bottom line. You had all this time to figure it out Sheena, but you're blind to the truth. You and your friends will fail and unlike last time, I'm not going down with you. Your mistakes are your own now.
Pronyma attempts to explain everything to you, but I stay silent, keeping my eyes only on you. This is my little surprise, Sheena. What do you think? You too wanted to die and now you'll get your wish. You can join your fallen comrades and be done with it. I'm helping you. "I side with the strongest." I remind you. "It was a simple matter of weighing the Renegades, Cruxis, and all of you." Too bad…you lost. You're angry and I can tell, but it only makes me happier. Now you know how I felt.
"You were leaking information to the Renegades too? I can't believe you! You were always a pervert, but I never doubted that you were a good person when it came down to it." So quick to apologize, Sheena? Well like I said before, it's too late. Guess you should've thought about that before you left me on that beach. "Why, thank you, my sweet voluptuous hunny. But in the end, I choose this side, because Mithos promised to release me from my fate as a Chosen of Mana." Then I will be free to do what I want.
That stuck up president from Altamira gapes his mouth at me and continues to condescend me. "You hate being the Chosen so much that you would betray your friends?" The only friend I'm betraying is Sheena, Mr. High and Mighty. And I didn't always want to. Things could've gone better if you'd just taken me seriously and seen the love behind my actions that day. Dammit Sheena, you just had to stay stubborn, didn't you? What, was I not good enough for you?
"Oh yeah, it's because of that title that my life has been a total joke. I can't stand it. I can't wait for Seles to become the Chosen instead." Let her deal with it for a change. Mother always did love her most. Lloyd shakes his head at me while you can no longer find any more words to beat me down with.
"You're lying! I still trust you, you hear me? You're the one that told me I could trust you!"
"What are you stupid?" This is the leader you chose to follow, Sheena. This is who you chose to love instead of me? Oh yeah, don't think I didn't see you two talking at Flanoir. What does he have that I don't? He may be too blind to see it, but I'm not. You throw me aside for him? HIM? May you burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory
We are once again thrown into the heat of battle, but this time I fight not with you, but against you. You fight with more fury than I ever remember seeing in you, but why does my betrayal hurt you so, Sheena? When did I start to matter to you? All you ever did after that day was tease me and look down at me. The life I choose to live was my own choice. It was something the Pope couldn't control and that's why I did it. You had no right to judge me.
Yet every time we ran into each other and I was just happy to see you, you would roll you eyes at me and pretend I wasn't there. Or worse, act like I was some child you had to baby-sit and put up with. I come down hard with my sword and you throw up your shield to deflect me. As our eyes lock, I can almost see flames dancing in your fire-red eyes. You were shocked when I showed you my true form, wings and all, and came at you first weren't you? When will you learn that I'm not that same Chosen you thought was worth less than trash? Well, you better learn it fast sweetie, cause if you don't, I will end your life here and it'll be as if you hit that water off the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge.
I guess I'll always wonder if I hadn't saved you, if I would've saved myself years of pain and grief. Everyone else gives it their best, but I'm stronger than I was before as I'm sure you've noticed. Either fight with your full strength against me or surrender, cause I won't go easy on you. Raising your hand in the air, you summon Undine – knowing her power over water will have more effect on me than the others. Good, you do remember something about me. I never would have guessed.
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
"Super Sonic Thrust!" Lloyd rushes forward and unable to get out of the way in time, his sword runs through my stomach and out the other side. The pain is more than I remember from that day and I'm frozen in shock.
"Zelos!" I hear you scream as I drop my sword and fall backwards into the reflective tile floor of the Tower of Salvation. It was here I was born as the Chosen…and now die as a man. Fate can be cruel. They all crowd around me, except you for some reason. You stay behind wiping away tears that are unbefitting of a traitor like me. I laugh as I fully come to realize the consequences of my actions. "Th-that was pretty good."
Lloyd looks down at me sadly. "Zelos…"
"I-It's okay. I was getting pretty tired of living anyway." You all failed to see the true pain I was experiencing until it was too late. I took my fate in my own hands and this is how it ends.
"Don't talk like that!" Lloyd berates me. Still acting all high and mighty, huh? Oh well, I guess I've earned it after stooping to this level. You won, Lloyd. Now I'll be out of the way and she's all yours. I hope he makes you happy Sheena.
"Oh yeah…about Colette. She's below, in the hall of the great seed." I never meant for her to be hurt in all this, so there's no point in letting that little twirp of a leader win his twisted game. "Make sure you save her."
The innocent boy who'd just begun to see the true crimes of the world asks me earnestly, "Why did you fight us?"
Is my death going to be hard for you? I can't imagine why. You never trusted me before so why act like you care? The better man won…just leave it. But, then again…there are people who will benefit from my death. "Because…" I struggle as pain throbs from the wound. "My life was a mistake." "You…should never have been born…" "But once I'm gone…Seles might…be happy and…they'll finally let her out of that abbey." She never did forgive me for her mother's death. This way everyone's happy.
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
But you…you're still crying. Sheena, you'll be happy once Lloyd's by your side, won't you? It hurts me, even more than the sword wound, to see you cry. I meant nothing to you and yet I can't help but wonder…has that somehow changed? People only cry for those who will be missed.
"Don't tell me that's why you…" Lloyd speaks up again. Why does he sound so far away? And is it getting dark in here?
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
Laughing hurts too much and I cringe when the reflex tightens my stomach. "Nah…that was just a bonus…" Part of me wishes I had more time. More time to talk to you and find out how you feel. I'm…so confused. Did you love me? Or in the last moments of my life am I beginning to imagine things? Already I feel the power of my Cruxis Crystal grow as it seeps what little life energy I have left. Oh no you don't. I think towards it. I won't become what you forced Colette and Presea to become. Nice try. With the last breath that I can manage I say, "Make sure…to destroy…my Cruxis…Crystal…" The room goes silent and my vision darkens. It was an unrequited love and an ended life that was never meant to be….
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter