Recap:

"Are you sure? Me and Harry and Ginny have been worried sick? We looked all over."

"Apparently not," she chuckled, kissing him on the mouth this time. "Trust me, I'm good. I really am." And she truly thought she was.

Chapter 7: Hearts and Spades

Hermione glanced at the clock, then at the porthole. Ten minutes ago she'd left dinner, saying that she needed to get a head start on her homework before detention. In actuality, however, she needed those few moments to prepare herself before her talk with Ron. Once he returned they would have a good two hours before she was scheduled to be at detention. And then she had other matters to attend to.

She was just about to get up and check the hall, when the porthole opened and in came Harry, Ginny, and Ron. Harry and Ginny scampered off to Harry's room with anxious waves at Hermione. And Ron took cautious steps towards her, sitting by the fireplace with no books. He knew he'd been had. Only he didn't know just how serious the situation was.

"What's up 'Mione?" he asked, taking a seat opposite her.

"Ron, we need to talk."

His nervous smile dropped into an all out frown and he gripped the arms of the chair, as if they could somehow save him.

"About?" he choked out, his eyes falling on the engagement ring.

"Us, what else?" It was only after seeing the hurt in his eyes that she realized she'd snapped at him. "Sorry, I've been stressed the past few days. I didn't mean to be short with you."

"What about us, Hermione? Didn't we just have a talk? I still don't think you're boring."

"I know you don't," she laughed bitterly. "And that's not what this is about. Ron," she said, taking a deep breath. "I'm not happy."

She was met with complete silence.

"Ron?"

"Hermione, I'm so sorry. I love you," he said nervously, leaning forward. He clutched her hands as if he needed them to steady himself. "Please, don't do this. I love you, I need you." He didn't care in that moment how pathetic he sounded. He didn't know what he would do without her. She was his life, his everything. She was who he spent his last two summers with. They'd gotten to know each other so well in that time. He could never live without her. "I love you." He leaned in closer, trying to kiss her, but she dodged him and moved over on the couch. In silence, she patted the place beside her. He obliged without the slightest thought, other than he wanted to be with her and make her happy.

"I don't know what happened to us, Ron," she sighed. "Do you remember when we first started dating? How happy we were? How we couldn't live a moment without each other and—"

"If this is about me and Harry spending—"

"Ron, please, let me talk."

She waited a moment to continue.

"This isn't about you and Harry. This isn't about you. It's about us. We're not what we used to be. We're not…We're not in love anymore."

"That's not true!" he stammered, grabbing her by the shoulders. "I love you, Hermione. I love you so much."

"Yes, it is," she insisted, her teeth clenched, Gently she pulled him off and sat back. "We're not in love, we're not. I didn't believe it either at first. I fought it too." This time it was Hermione who reached over and took his hands. "I never thought it could be true in a million years, but, recently, I've come to realize that it is true. I love you, Ron. I do. Don't think that I don't, but it's not the love we thought, it's not the love we need. It's not…It's not true love."

"You're wrong," he said sharply, yanking his hands away. "I am in love with you, Hermione. I always have been. It's you that doesn't love me!" He stood so fast Hermione gasped under her breath. "What the hell has happened since we've been back at school that would change your mind? What did I do? What happened? Tell me."

"Nothing happened," she lied, looking away. "I've just been thinking a lot and this is what I came up with."

"Well for once you're wrong, Hermione. You are. This can't be right, because I've never loved anyone more than I love you…and I thought you felt the same." His eyes were lined with tears and she wondered how much longer he could keep them back.

"I do love you," she almost yelled, climbing to her feet as well. "I love you the way I love Harry and Ginny. I love you and I need you as my friend Ron, but I can't keep leaving like this! This relationship is too much for me! I've been worrying myself sick for too long about it. I can't keep doing that. I don't want to be forty with five kids and in a loveless relationship, only realizing it then when it's too late. And I can't have children in that kind of situation. And I can't…I can't put you through that…I'm sorry Ron, but that's what I feel…"

"Well thanks for the warning! Here I was thinking everything was fine, thinking that my girlfriend still loved me and would marry me and have children with me and we would be happy for the rest of our lives. Excuse me for being a dreamer!"

"Ron!" She was inches from slapping him across the face. "Stop it! Just stop it! You're being ridiculous. If you would just stop and think for one second then you would realize that I'm right. Even if you are in love with me then this is still the right thing to do. How could you expect me to stay with you when I didn't feel the same? It would be wrong for both of us…But," she sighed, placing a careful hand on his shoulder, "I don't think you're in love with me. I think you're comfortable and afraid of change, afraid of being alone. I know you love me as a friend, but if you think, really think for a long time then you'll see that I'm right."

Slowly, he eased himself onto the sofa, his cheeks dry, though it seemed his eyes were about to burst at any second.

"Ron?"

"Hermione," he whispered, unable to keep the tears from falling any longer. He couldn't hide behind anger anymore. "I love you. Don't do this. Think about it. How can we be without each other? We're meant to—"

"We won't be without each other Ron," she sighed. She sat beside him, taking his hands in hers. "You're my best friend and we'll always be together. You're right, we are meant to be together, we are soul mates, but not in that way. In time you'll come to see in time that I'm right."

"I don't think I will." He bowed his head, turning away from her.

"Ron please don't do this. It's not good-bye."

Suddenly, giving her no time to brace herself, Ron rushed towards her, grabbing her face and kissing her forcefully. She tried to pull him off, but he was too determined. When he finally pulled back, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, hugging her close, his body trembling.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't better to you," he cried, then leaned back and wiped at his face and eyes. "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, and I do still want to be your friend, but…"

"Not right now?"

"Right," he sighed, and stood. "It's just too hard right now. But I will…I'll come to you."

"Soon?" she asked hopefully.

"When I'm ready," he said, then walked away, his head down and his heart heavy. He truly did believe that he was in love with her.

"I'm sorry Ron," she whimpered into her hands, her tears finally braking free. "But I couldn't do it anymore…"

"What's wrong with you?" Draco demanded, pulling his head back.

Hermione looked up at him with her big chocolate eyes. For a long while she had pretended that nothing was wrong, pretended that she didn't just crush her best friend's heart to pieces, pretended to be into what Draco was doing to her. But she simply couldn't ignore her raging emotions.

"I broke up with Ron tonight," she sighed, pressing her face into Draco's chest. But, instead of hugging and comforting her like any normal person would, Draco laughed and stepped back. "Are you laughing at me!" she snapped, taking a swing at him. "Malfoy!"

"What?" he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Like you didn't know it was bound to happen. Even I did. You weren't happy, I knew you couldn't stay there much longer…Besides, the guilt was really getting to you. And I know you could never give me up."

"Shove off," she hissed, crossing her arms over her half-naked chest. "I'm really upset here and all you can do is laugh!"

"What did you expect?"

"A little more for someone you has been begging to be with me for the past two weeks."

"Fine," he sighed, pulling her to him. "If you really need to know, I was laughing because now you won't be all regretful when we're together. You can completely devote your time to us and not have Weasley in the back of your mind."

"And what about you and Pansy?"

"What about us?"

"You're going to stay with her?"

"Of course," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Hermione jerked herself free of his hold and backed into the wall. "What?"

"I can't do this with you if you're still with her. It's me or her."

"I'm not going to leave her for you, Granger," he laughed. "How could I choose a mudblood Gryffindor over a pure-blooded Slytherin? You've gone mental."

"Do it or we don't."

"No," he said through his teeth.

"You're a coward," she hissed, slapping him across the face. "No wonder you're a Slytherin."

And for the remainder of the detention she didn't utter a single word.

By the time they left Draco was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd crossed the line.

For the next week and a half Hermione didn't talk to either Ron or Draco. Ron because he wouldn't even look at her, much less speak to her. And Draco because of what a complete jerk he was. She kicked herself after that night, wondering how she could have thought he would leave Pansy for her. And, the more she thought about it, the more she didn't understand why she had wanted him to leave her. It's not like she wanted him to be her boyfriend. What they had been doing was only about the closeness and being with another person in heated, unbridled passion. It was never supposed to go so far or last so long.

The only contact she had with people outside of class was Harry and Ginny. Both were equally worried about her and Ron. They weren't talking, which meant they weren't mending or healing, and Ron still wouldn't admit that he wasn't in love with her. She was beginning to wonder if she was too hard and really had broken his heart without thinking. But she was still convinced that he was still living in a dream world and that soon—she prayed—he would come around and talk to her and confess that he wasn't in love with her and that she'd been right. Not that that's what she wanted, to be right, but how else could it be? There was no way he was in love with her.

"If we lose another game we're out for the cup," Harry said, catching Hermione's eyes. She sighed and looked away. "Hermione?"

"What do you want me to do about it, Harry? I can't force Ron to speak with me. And I can't go back to him. I don't love him, not like that. How many times do I have to tell you people?"

Harry frowned, looking almost hurt. For so long he had believed they were the perfect couple and so completely in love, the way him and Ginny were in love. Now, after their messy break-up, he was beginning to wonder himself. And he almost wanted to be mad at Hermione for causing him to question his love for Ginny.

"Please try to speak with him. He's depressed, 'Mione. He doesn't eat unless me or Gin force him to. He skips class and practice and lies in bed all day. He's a wreck and you—"

"And I'm the cause of it, I know," she said, gritting her teeth.

"No, that's not what I was going to say. You are the only person who can make him better, Hermione. Please, try at least. What could it hurt?"

"Ron for one. Look Harry, he told me not to talk to him, not until he's ready. I won't go against that. He doesn't deserve any more pain from me…I…I've been awful to him. You have no idea."

"What are you talking about Hermione? You've been nothing but great to him."

"You don't know that Harry, and neither does he."

"What are you saying?"

She looked away, casting her eyes at the floor. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. But for the past month it had been eating away at her. She had to tell someone. And that someone would be Harry, no matter how much he would hate her for it; she just couldn't keep it a secret any longer.

"Harry, I've done so terrible things, things you wouldn't believe, things you would…things you'd hate me for."

"Hermione, I—"

"Please, Harry, let me finish. I don't know what was going through my head at the time, but I—I don't know, I was scared and sad and upset and angry. I don't even know now why I did it, why I—"

"Hermione?"

They snapped in the direction of the boys' dormitory staircase. Ron stood at the foot of it, fully dressed and showered. Even his hair was combed. Hermione almost didn't recognize him. Since their break-up he'd been either messily dressed and disheveled, or only wore pajama bottoms and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, bumbling through the common room like a mental patient. He looked so much better. She had to force herself not to smile.

"Ron," she said, standing, her conversation with Harry completely forgotten.

"Can we talk?"

"Of course," she said quickly, then bowed her head, and sighed. She shouldn't act so enthusiastic, not when his face was still sad and drawn.

When they reached his room the mood was no less sour. It took several moments, but finally, after taking a seat on the bed—Hermione opted to lean against his desk—he began to speak.

"I've been thinking a lot," he said, "and I think you need to know this."

Hermione took a deep breath and braced herself.

"You have been my everything for so long that when you told me you we're happy and that you didn't love me I was crushed. And I was so angry, I almost wanted to hurt you." His voice was so level and gentle that there was no way she could take his words as anything more than past-thoughts. She knew he wasn't aiming to upset her; he didn't want revenge. "I couldn't believe it. I had no idea that you felt that way. I thought we were happy, but…but I guess I only wanted to believe that. I was blind, Hermione," he sighed. He stood and approached her at the desk. For a moment he did nothing, and then, very slowly, he took her hands and held them to his chest. "I love you, I always have, I always will. I love you like I love Ginny and Harry and my brothers. I love you like you love me. I'm not in love with you, I know that now, and I thank you for helping me. We," he paused, a thin smile coming to his lips. "We really side-stepped a disaster, huh?"

"Yeah," she laughed uneasily. "We did."

"Come on." He pulled her into a tight and warm embrace. "I've spent too much time away from you."

"Where are we going?"

"For a walk around the lake. I haven't been outside in awhile."

"Ron?"

"Hmm?"

"I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," he said, pulling on his cloak. "You did what you had to do."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Of course," he laughed. "Beside, we have that really hard Potions assignment due Monday. How could I get through that without you."

"Ronald!" she snapped playfully, running at him. She scooped her up and twirled her around, giving her a loving kiss on the forehead.

"I think this is going to be really great."

"Yeah," she sighed as they made for the door. "Me too."

"Hermione."

Silence.

"Hermione?"

Again, silence.

"Granger!"

"What!" she hissed, not looking up. She'd been so good about ignoring him. She was not about to look at him now and blow all that well-deserved anger.

"Can I talk to you?"

"What about, Malfoy? We're supposed to be reading about the task and figuring out a strategy."

"I broke it off with Pansy."

"Malfoy, don't even—What?" She must have heard wrong. Her heart fluttered and her hands slid off the table and into her lap.

"I left her, dumped her. She's history, gone. Just like you wanted.

"I—Malfoy, why are you doing this?"

"Because," he sighed, rolling his eyes, "if I didn't you would never talk to me again, much less let me touch you."

"Since when does what I want matter?"

"Because it decides if I get what I want."

"Draco?"

"Because you're better for me than Pansy, alright?" he snapped, looking away. "But remember," he said sharply, looking back and catching her eyes, his finger pointed rigidly at her, "this is only about fooling around. We are not together, nor will we ever be. Got it?"

Hermione sprang from her seat, tackling Draco to the floor and covered his face with passionate kisses.

"Why would it ever be anything but?" she breathed, suckling at his bottom lip. "I still hate you, Draco."

"Then it's agreed. It's only about the sex?"

"Sex? But we haven't—"

Draco silenced her with a powerful kiss.

"Yes," she whispered huskily. "Yes. Until one of us wants out."

"Or until the end of the year."

"Right, right," she said, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He pulled her down to him, capturing her lips. She had such perfectly plump lips. He could kiss them all day.

"Promise me something Granger."

"What?"

"You're only with me. I won't have you running back to Weasley or screwing other guys behind my back. I won't do that again."

"I promise," she said, intending to fulfill that promise. She didn't want anyone else. "What about you?"

"I left Pansy for you, didn't I?" he laughed.

"Promise me."

His nipped at her neck playfully.

"Draco," she said firmly, yanking her head back.

"Yes, yes," he laughed. "I promise."

"On your life?"

"Yes."

"And if you break that promise I will curse you."

"I wouldn't expect any less from you."

"Alright. One more thing."

"What?"

"I'm on top."

WEEEEEEEE! That was fun! Sad and angry and fun :P All sorts of good stuff happened. Heehee! And I just wrote this in like two hours. Go me!

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