Sam stood outside the doors of County General ER and stared up at the dark, silent El station. She had been discharged half an hour ago and had had to speak with Kerry Weaver about her whereabouts. Weaver had looked about ready to blow a fuse when Sam introduced herself to the woman but after explaining her situation, Weaver had apologised and dismissed her. Her shift would have been over anyway. She had called Steve and told him what had happened. He had panicked of course, wondering if she was okay and fuming at the fact that the hospital hadn't called him immediately. She had reassured him and told him she would get a taxi home, knowing that he had probably been drinking for a few hours now - there was after all a game on and she could hear the raised voices of his friends in the background.
She looked down to the ground when images of inflamed people, burned children and dying adults invaded her mind. She closed her eyes against it but the images persisted. She could feel tears pouring from her eyes as she remembered the baby lying, charred, in it's mothers arms. The face of the frantic father searching for his son and daughter. The frail, elderly woman with white hair clutching at her arm asking when the next train was coming, as her lungs and heart failed her.
Stumbling backwards, she leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths trying to calm her breathing and restore order to her mind. She looked up again to the station - just like the one that she had been in - and saw it sitting dark and empty.
"Long day, huh?"
Sam turned quickly and recognised the face of Abby Lockhart - a fellow nurse. Sam nodded and wiped at the tears on her face.
"Hey, you okay?" Abby asked and placed a gloved hand on Sam's arm.
The snow had ceased falling but still it lay thick on the ground, covering every inch apart from the entrance to the ER.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied as she swiped again at the tears. "Just waiting for a taxi to get out of here. Like you said, it's been a long day."
Abby frowned slightly as though in thought, then looked up at Sam again.
"I could drive you home if you like?"
Sam shook her head.
"No, it's fine. The taxi should be here, like now." As she said it, a taxi drew up and Sam signalled that she would be two minutes. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked.
Abby looked surprised.
"You'll be in tomorrow?" Sam nodded. "Then yeah, I start at nine - and that's am." Sam smiled and made to walk away when Abby put her hand out again. "Hey, if you need to talk..." She took out a pen from her scrub pocket and a piece of scrap paper that looked like a receipt, write something on it and handed it Sam.
Sam looked at the number that was scrawled across the paper with the name Abby written in capital letters across the top and smiled in thanks.
"Thank you." She smiled again and put her hand on Abby's arm and walked away and into the taxi.
Abby stood for a few more moments, watching the taxi pull out of the bay.
"Who was that?"
Abby turned and leaned up and kissed Luka.
"Sam." Luka nodded and turned to where the taxi had been.
"I could have given her a lift home," Luka said and Abby nodded.
"I did ask, she said she'd rather have a taxi." She paused then spoke. "So, what you want to do tonight?" She asked as she took his arm and walked away towards the parking lot and Luka's car.
"I was thinking maybe we could rent a movie, have some dinner," he murmured and Abby nodded. "I just don't feel like going out." Abby nodded again.
She stopped and Luka did too. She placed her hand on his other arm and pressed her body into his. She felt his arms encircle her waist.
"When I saw you being wheeled in on the gurney... I was so worried," she could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and felt her throat close tightly.
"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed as his hand rubbed over her hair. "I'm here and I'm safe."
They stayed like that for a few more minutes and snow began to fall around them again.
Finally, Abby pulled away and wiped at her eyes.
"I heard what you did for Sam," she paused and looked up into his face and saw that he was looking off into the distance. "You didn't have to do that."
He looked back down at her with a blank expression and then he nodded, closing his eyes.
"I know. There was just... My subconscious have known she was was one of us," he tried to joke and Abby hit him playfully on the arm.
"I just... just promise me you won't do anything that stupid again?"
Luka stared at her for a few seconds.
I can't do that.
"I'll try not to," he smiled and put his arm around her waist and guided her to the car.
Sam paid the taxi driver and painfully stepped out of the back seat. She breathed deeply as she closed the door. The taxi pulled away and she walked up to the front door of her apartment block. Her chest was aching again and her head pounded. She pushed the heavy door open and went into the elevator that was already waiting on the ground floor.
When the doors slid shut, she leaned her back and head against the wall and closed her eyes, allowing the images to flow back into her mind. She was too tired to fight them now.
When the elevator ding!ed and the doors opened, she could hear the heavy rock music screeching from her apartment. She stepped out of the elevator and pressed her hand to the side of her head as the sound vibrations hit her. She made it to the door and opened it, knowing that it wouldn't be locked.
The sight that greeted her was enough to send her blood boiling. But not tonight. Not tonight. Tonight, all she wanted to do was sleep.
As soon as she entered the living room, Steve was staggering towards her, his hands flailing about trying to figure out which of the three Sam's in front of him was the real one.
"Hey, baby," she him slur and she reeled when she smelled the alcohol strongly on his breath.
"Hey, I'm going to bed," she said and pushed past him, ignoring the leering looks she always received from his friends. She made it into the bedroom and then he was there, his hands instantly going to cup her breasts but she pushed him away.
"Come on, baby," he pushed as he attempted to reach out again, and kissed her neck with alcohol soaked lips.
She relented for a second but when his hands began to push up her top, she grabbed his wrists and pushed him away.
"I said no!"
She turned quickly away from him and then felt his hand grip her wrist painfully and she spun around.
"Let go of me," she hissed.
"Not until I've had my fill of you," he leered, careering towards her with his hands spread wide and he attempted to grope her again.
Sam took a step back and then when he grabbed hold of her again, she put both her hands on his chest and pushed as much as her tender body would allow.
"Leave me alone!"
She used his momentary lack of balance to get away from him and she ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. She locked the door quickly and heard Steve pounding on the door but she ignored it. Leaning back against the door, with her hands on the door handle, she waited for him to go. After a few more minutes of Steve trying to coax her out, there was silence.
Sam let the first sob escape her. Then another and another and another until her whole body shuddered and she could no longer stand. She let her body slide down the door and covered her face with her hands and stayed there until the sound of music drained away and until the images of her waking mind receded into the images of her unconscious mind.
TBC