TWENTY-FIVE: rem's song

The world sure had its share of difficulties. Vash held her close to his side as they headed back to camp, feeling the Fifth Moon hovering overhead like a bad memory. His life seemed to be spinning out of control, and even in death it seemed that Knives held the reigns. He wondered if his brother had found peace in the afterlife, if he had slipped into Eden, as they had promised Rem they would one day find it. It was difficult here, on Gunsmoke, but maybe in the world of the dead, it would be easier.

He sighed softly, letting Knives fade from his thoughts. Meryl had become the driving force of his thoughts. The light shade of the blue moon cast her in an eerie, wonderful light, giving her an angelic countenance. He had to smile at her He loved her reaction when he smile; she would blush and avert her eyes, trying to hide her own smile.

He didn't say anything. He felt that at the moment, no words could do his emotions justice. Not now, anyway. Not with these emotions.

As they approached the campfire, they found their friends sleeping against each other, Milly's head on Stryker's shoulder. It reminded them of the night of their bus ride with Nicholas D. Wolfwood thirty or so months ago.

Meryl had to smile as she wiped away a tear at the memory. "Come on Vash," she whispered. "Even you need sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us." She gave him a gentle hug and then pulled him to the spot where she had been sleeping before. He went obediently and sat next to her for a time, gazing into the firelight, letting the memories of the past spill through him once more.

He thought of his past: Rem, Knives, the crew of Project SEEDS…the city of July, the bounty on his head, the insurance girls, the priest…

In the end, those memories had become the basis of his heart. Everything about his life had been altered greatly with every fleeting moment. He stared at the night, and as a tear slid from his cheek, he found the song She had loved, the song She had taught him, and he began to softly sing:

"So… On the first night, a pebble falls to the earth from somewhere.
So… On the second night, the pebble's children hold hands and sketch a waltz.
Sound life…"

He could almost picture Rem hovering over them, taking them gently in her arms as he let the words flow from his heart.

Meryl listened in silence as he sang, closing her eyes as she leaned against him, enjoying the warmth he offered. She was so comfortable. She raised a hand to wipe a tear from his eyes, the same emerald eyes that seemed to see everything there was to see. She listened until nearly the end when she joined him softly: "So… A song that has recorded everything echoes to a new sky. Sound life… Sound life…" She squeezed him gently before she found his hand and held it in her own, just over her heart.

"That was Rem's song," he whispered.

Of course. Before, she had had no idea of the song's importance to him, but she loved the song nonetheless.

"She used to sing it to me when I was very little. She called me a big baby." That brought a smile. Meryl could see the resemblance. "I think she'd still call me that sometimes. She does in my dreams. Anyway, that's how I first heard the song. Maybe it sounds dumb, but it's one of the few links that I have to her."

He sat up, looking at Meryl with his eyes shining.

"I'm glad you're here," he said. "I should have gone back for you. It's a mistake I can't take back, but I know you've forgiven me. If you hadn't, you wouldn't let me do this." He leaned forward and gave her a kiss.

It was a short kiss, filled with tenderness and pleasure. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Good night, Meryl."

"That's mean, Vash," she mumbled, but she had to smile. "Always were one to keep a girl waiting." She turned against him, nuzzling up to him as she drifted off to sleep, away from the dreams and nightmares of earlier.

They would haunt her no more this night.

He slid his prosthetic arm beneath her so that she could rest comfortably against his shoulder. He was glad to have her, glad that she was here. He closed his eyes, but he knew he wouldn't find rest. He wasn't tired. His side where his impostor had shot him not so long ago still ached something fierce, but it wasn't the pain that kept him up this night.

He needed her, desired her. Her soft breath against his neck alone was enough to make his heart race. He longed to do things to her that he'd never even considered doing in his life. Oh, he'd wondered about the pleasures between a man and a woman many times in his past, but this was the first time in his life he was actually fighting the urge to lay her down and explore her in ways he had never before dreamed. She felt like an extension to him now, a part of him that he had once lost, a part that had evolved into more than he could have hoped for or even imagine.

But yet, he held back. He thought maybe it wasn't his place. He didn't know squat about a true relationship. He knew he loved Meryl, but that didn't mean he knew what step came next. Her world lay before him, ripe for the taking. He wanted to take charge and explore it with his heart, body, and soul, but he also feared whatever consequences might lie beyond.

He wondered if Meryl knew. She was such a collected girl, always putting her best foot forward. Maybe she would know what came next.

It seemed every time he stepped beyond the boundaries of his world, another obstacle awaited him. First Knives, then the Gung-Ho Guns. Now Morgante the Warhead.

He sighed. Nothing in life was ever easy.

She stirred against him ever so slightly. Her eyes fluttered like one who was lost in the most pleasant of dreams. She sighed softly, her hands pulling him against her like she would never let go. "Love you, Vash," she murmured, and it sounded so damn clear and forward that it might seem she was still awake.

Which she was. It was hard to sleep now, after what had happened earlier when she was left to rest and now when she was so close to him she could breathe him in. It was hard for her to keep her breathing under control; she wasn't sure how to behave or act and she wasn't at all sure that Vash wouldn't think her crazy no matter how she acted.

She loved being so close to him, to hold him close to her and know he was there, and even as the fire seemed to dim her thoughts turned elsewhere from the cold dark nights, and thoughts of what Milly had only spoke of even now caused a blush to darken her pale cheeks.

Love had an odd way about it. It wrapped her up in all its glory and lifted her toward the gates of Heaven. Here, in his arms, she had discovered that the power of Heaven descended from he stars and soaked the people of the world in the very love of God. That He would give her so perfect a gift as a man like Vash was nothing short of astonishing. There wasn't a whole hell of a lot that wasn't astonishing about Him. Maybe that's one of the reasons Wolfwood had chosen his profession.

There was a lot about Vash she had yet to know. He'd share it all one day, she was certain. She trusted him.

Vash stared to the stars, pondering over another, urgent problem. The world above him seemed so strange, so distant. He had been there before, in a place that Meryl and Milly and Stryker would never be able to visit. Space was an untouchable world in this day. Somewhere out there, a ship lay in the desert, a ship someone had used to come to Gunsmoke. They were human, and now, according to Meryl, they were after him.

He groaned. Another of life's little challenges. Was this going to get somebody hurt like the rest of them? There were no "little" challenges for Vash the Stampede. Hell, a simple kiss had taken all the courage in the world.

"Sleep Vash. The world will still be here in the morning." He glanced down to her. Twin violet orbs gazed up to him in wonder. She had a strange new look in her eyes. She wasn't simply Meryl anymore. She was different somehow, wiser and stronger, more capable then the girl he had known a year ago. She was no longer Daddy's little girl, in more ways then one. Meryl had done more growing up in her time with Vash then she had ever done in the whole of her childhood. Did her father even know that? Did he even care?

She curled ever closer to him, her hair tickling at his neck and jaw line. "I'll still be here when you wake," she murmured. "I promise."

He smiled at that, his thoughts returning to the moment at hand. Or, more accurately, the girl in his arms. The road didn't seem all that dark with her to light her way. The burden wasn't all that heavy with her to share the load. He thanked her silently with a gentle squeeze.

But there was too much on his mind.

He wondered how Milly could possibly handle the situations that he could not, and he found himself chuckling silently to realize that everyone the big girl ever met probably shared the same question. She was a special girl. Whoever wound up with her was going to be a lucky man.

Maybe Stryker? With the way they were laying together now, keeping each other warm, he wouldn't be surprised. He smiled. That was a happy thought he could end his night with. He closed his eyes.

But still, he couldn't sleep.

After a few moments, she followed his gaze, and knew instantly what he was thinking. She wondered it to, musing to herself at a game she and her one childhood playmate had once dreamed over. She shook her head and turned back to watch him. It was odd to see him so serious, strange and yet deliciously new and almost dangerous. She propped himself up on her elbow, certain there would be no sleep for her this night.

Not yet.

A shooting star split the sky between two of Gunsmoke's moons. Vash watched for a long moment and made a silent wish. Part of that wish had already come true. The second part involved family and happiness that would stretch throughout his life. Throughout their lives. He glanced to Meryl to see if she had spotted the faint, blue-green streak of light, and he knew by the small, wondrous smile that she had.

"Can't sleep?"

She shook her head lightly at the question.

"Me either." His eyes shimmered in the firelight, brilliant emerald pools, full of life. They watched her for a moment, drinking in the simple beauty of her features. She was so gorgeous. He closed his eyes. How could he have missed it in the past? She hadn't been quite this beautiful when he had first met her, but now she made the brightest stars fade in his eyes. He smiled down at her.

Rem hadn't said anything about a perfect moment lasting so long.

Meryl stared up at him, lost in the intensity of his eyes. They never seemed to sparkle so much, or capture so much of the light in them. It took her breath away and caused her heart to race. "You never cease to amaze me, Vash," she whispered, pausing to look down as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. It was a remarkable feeling that came over her when she was with him and she couldn't rightly describe it. But it made Meryl feel complete. Like she belonged, which was something she hadn't felt in such a long time.

He put his face very close to hers, a lustful spark in his eyes, and smiled. He wanted just to be close to her, just to have that opportunity in which life felt so full and pure. He felt it close even now, pressing against him in an engulfing embrace that shook him to the core. A world of emotion spilled from his heart. He felt as though he needed to cry, but just seeing the smile on her face was enough to hold back that flood.

"Oh, Meryl."

She smiled and leaned up so that she could kiss him softly on the nose. It was a playful gesture, but it caused sparks to shiver all the way up her spine. It made her laugh at the memory of how mad she would get when her parents behaved the same way. They had truly cared for each other, at least, for awhile.

But nowhere near the extent she cared for Vash, and he for her.

He smiled and ran his free hand slowly down her side. He was eager for more than that simple, playful kiss. His hand trailed to her hip as he started to turn toward her. The feel of her was enough to make him tremble, the warmth of her curves sliding in his hands through the fabric of her blouse and jeans.

And then he stopped. This is crazy. What am I doing?

He removed his hand from her hip and rested it on the ground between them. He still placed his lips to her, drawing strength from her very breath, but it would be no more than a kiss. He knew better than that; now just wasn't the right time.

He slipped his prosthetic limb from beneath her, Meryl twisting her torso so he could free his arm, so he could adjust to reach her lips easier. Her violet eyes sparkled back up at his as if she could see the very soul that was beneath the red coat. She reached up with a hand and gently caressed the side of his face before she guided him back to her.

She loved the fee of his hands on her; it made her feel so young and vibrant. The blush that had flared on her cheek was caused by so much more than mere schoolgirl innocence. That did play a part in it, but there was also a gentle eagerness that clawed at her as she draped his arm around her neck and gently caressed his face with her other hand, much as a mother would an infant.

He cherished the taste of her as he covered the delicate flesh of her face with the gentlest of kisses. The smooth movement of her body arching toward him drew him back to her, and he let his hand travel back to the curve of her hip. Eyes closed, he drowned himself in her love.

The moment was sensual and perfect. The feel of her slender frame against him lit a passionate fire that coursed through his body and soul It was a sensation he had never before experienced, but one that he treasured. He longed that this moment would never end as he feasted on her lips with a hunger that stole his breath away. Here, Meryl felt safe, trapped in the shelter of his arms. She felt wanted, lost in his gentle caress. Here she felt loved. By every word, spoken or not, by every touch that was shared, by every look that was passed, this was where she belonged, in this man's arms forever.

Vash had never known love. Rem had prepared him as best she could for the moment, but she could never be here now to tell him if he were handling the situation right. He could only go by his instincts. That Meryl didn't push him away, that she returned his love with a similar passion, was enough to tell him that he wasn't hurting her, and that he didn't want him to part from her. It was a wondrous feeling he couldn't even have imagined before Meryl.

He felt the heat of her burning through her garments. Oxygen slowly replaced the carbon dioxide in his lung with low, rough breaths. He gazed to her with tears glistening in his eyes. "Meryl," he sighed. He slid from her. There could be no more in that moment, hat delicate touch through the fabric of their clothes. No more. He turned to her, letting his eyes trail the length of her body, and his breath caught in his throat.

He wanted her, now and forever, and she wanted him. At the same time, both knew that moment could never last forever. Meryl's blood was still boiling in her veins, rushing like currents through her entire body, giving off a sensuous heat that gave her an almost angelic glow. Her breaths still came far too fast and short, racing as the moment slowly began to catch up with her. Her cheeks were flushed, and even her eyes seemed to scream out in frustration as he pulled away.

That was only the beginning. If only a glimpse left her reaching she almost dreaded what the future had to hold. They definitely had their own powerful reaction to one another, both when they were close and when they were apart. Every brief moment left her breathless and thirsty for more. She stared up at him, eyes nothing more than hazy slits that called out for him. Her breath eventually began to slow and her heartbeat grew to a steady, even pulse. She was lost and it seemed that only Vash knew how to find her.

As far as she was concerned, that was all right.

"Vash," she managed in a hoarse whisper, still choked from what she had experienced only a brief moment ago.

He gazed back at her, an almost stunned look on his face. He reached out and stroked her cheek, a look of longing clinging to his eyes. He found that he couldn't look away even if he wanted to. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. He wanted her so badly, but this was neither the time nor the place. They would have time, but first they had to survive her father.

Vash grimaced at the thought. He had been under the impression that surviving the father was supposed to be just getting by without making yourself look like a total idiot. Unfortunately, in this case, surviving the father would be far more literal. He would have to protect Meryl while at the same time avoiding death himself.

He reached out and touched her cheek. "I really want this to happen."

She sat up, nodding, wrapping herself around him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, needing simply to be at his side, and then she would be fine. The moment had come and gone and left them in its wake, feeling frazzled and wondrously frumpled. Life had opened their eyes to something they had never dared dream of experiencing in their existence. There, in the comfort of Vash's arms, Meryl could find peace enough to slumber. There, she could find her dreams, hopes, and there she could face her fears.

The world really didn't look so bad from here.

Really, it was starting to look pretty good.

.... .... x .... ....

The world was shaken by the distant sound of thunder. Stirred from the realm of dreams, Vash peered about. The fire was gone, squelched by the lack of fuel. He groaned and forced himself into a sitting position, careful not to disturb Meryl. He sighed heavily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Stryker and Milly still lay together on the other side of the dead campfire.

It was eerily dark for what should have been midmorning, and the usually crystal blue skies had faded to a dull blue-gray. He stared numbly at the sky, as if trying to contemplate the nature of the occurrence. The gunman yawned, never taking his green eyes from the sky.

Something rumbled in the distance. He realized the sound that had so rudely stirred him from his peaceful slumber was growing steadily louder. He was tired, mainly because he had barely slept a wink through the entire night. With a yawn, the Humanoid Typhoon let his eyes slowly circle the area about the dead campfire. To the west, the horizon met the sky in a messy blur. He frowned.

The sound seemed to be a constant drone, similar to the sound of rolling thunder, the volume steadily increasing. The thought of something rapidly approaching brought the gunman suddenly to his feet.

Sandstorm!

"Wake up!" he shouted, but his words were drowned by the thunderous sound as a wall of the wind and sand slamming into him, bringing pain and destruction in its wake.

.... .... x .... ....

Vash rose in a rush, gasping for breath. Sweat trickled down his face as he peered into the darkness. It was still hours before sunup, despite the feeling of midmorning when he believed he had been stirred from sleep. Meryl slept peacefully at his side, undisturbed by his sudden movement. Milly and Stryker, as in his dream, still leaned into one another for warmth. They looked so comfortable.

He wondered how the two could possibly sleep through the excitement of the night, but then he remembered just the type of woman Milly was. She could sleep through the end of the world, if it were to happen.

He drew a deep breath, rubbing his sore side, wondering how he could have possibly found sleep through the pain. He could dimly remember that there had been no pain, thanks to the tenderness Meryl had offered him in the night. He reached out gently and slid the hair from Meryl's face, gazing to her face, cast in the dim blue glow of the light of the Fifth Moon.

He sighed and stretched, peering out over the desert.

He had enjoyed a peaceful sleep. He felt refreshed. Through it all, he had experienced only deep serenity. Until the end, when he was awakened by a restless dream regarding a powerful storm. He didn't fully understand what his mind was trying to tell him, but he had an odd feeling that it could only mean bad things.

He took a canteen from the collection of baggage by the fire and enjoyed a revitalizing drop of cool, clear water.

Vash…

A woman's voice invaded his thoughts, a voice as clear and eloquent as any he had ever heard, as if she were standing here, right beside him. But he knew she was not there. He shot a look to Meryl. A vivid image crossed his mind: a young woman, tall and slender and athletic, in a blood-red jumpsuit, a long, golden braid draped over her left shoulder. Piercing emerald eyes slid open and locked intently on his own.

Vash the Stampede. I'm waiting.

He stumbled away from the fire, dropping the canteen. The last droplets of water spilled onto the desert floor as he stared into the roaring flames.

Who are you? he asked the voice, offering no more than his thoughts.

The telepathic answer was immediate and sinister. If you truly wish to know, he will come to me. I may be inclined to tell you.

Vash lowered his eyes.

A drone of telepathic laughter filled his thoughts. Come to me, Vash, and I will answer your questions. That much I can promise you.

Vash lowered his eyes toward the girl sleeping at his feet. Meryl didn't even move, never heard the dangerous telepathic conversation. Of course she didn't. She didn't have the ability. This strange woman, wherever she was, did. Clenching his fists, the Humanoid Typhoon started out toward the desolate land north of the makeshift campsite.

"I'm coming."