Sitting there, on the couch with Alec, she felt safe. Safe enough to let him hold her while memories from her near and far past came to her mind. She wasn't sure what it was about him that made her feel free like that - like she doesn't have to escape from her fears, like she's finally strong enough to confront everything – but whatever it was, it was there. She stayed silent for just a little longer, and then continued on with telling her story.

"Last year, Logan called me, telling me about some assassin who was killing people viciously. He saw a barcode on the victim, and when he showed me the picture, I recognized it as Ben's. But when I went to see him at the morgue, it didn't fit. It wasn't him."

"What, the barcode was different?"

"No, the person. It just wasn't him."

She went quiet again, making Alec think that maybe he shouldn't have interrupted her, but after a couple more seconds she went on.

"I found him at the church later. I knew he was the killer. I asked him why, but he just said that I know why, and then he left. I found him later on top of the space needle, and he said that we never should have left Menticore, that everything made sense there, that he was a good soldier. It took me a while to understand that, but I think I do now."

"What do you mean?"

"We need the structure, the stability. And it's not because we're transgenics, and not because we grew up as soldiers. It's because we are human. We need rules, order. We can't survive without it."

"You did quite alright without structure for ten years…"

"No, I didn't. I always remembered the training, Zack's orders. I always had a plan. And when I didn't – I paid for it."

Feeling Max shiver after her last words, Alec realized they are a part of a different story, for a different day. Though he did make a mental note to ask her about it at some point.

"Anyway, that day, later on, Ben and I were in the woods. He was trying to kill another victim as part of a useless quest for faith, and I fought him for it. The priest got away, but I broke Ben's legs. Lydecker was already on to us, and he was closing in. We both knew he wouldn't make it out of there, but he didn't want to go back. He thought he'd be better off dead, and he asked me to…"

Her voice, stubbornly controlled until that point, finally broke. He tightened his arms around her to show his understanding and support.

"I killed him, and then I ran away, like a coward!"

"You did what you had to do, you didn't have a choice. It's not your fault and there's nothing cowardly in staying alive!"

Max thought about his words for a few seconds, wanting so bad to believe him, to let his words calm her down, to just let him take all her fears and worries away… But she knew that it's never that easy. What she told him so far wasn't even the worst part of the story, and she needed to stay strong if she wanted to keep telling.

Alec, almost as if reading her mind (but actually just thinking about Logen's apartment) said

"That's not all, is it?"

But it came out more as a statement than a question, and he was scared that she won't take kindly to that.

Max just nodded and stared ahead with a far away look on her face, pain was clearly showing on her face as further memories flooded her mind. Finally she felt strong enough to continue, and began to speak again

"Yesterday morning I came to Logen's place 'cause he buzzed, only to find out that he accidentally pushed a speed dial number on his phone while making out with Asha on his desk. He didn't even notice me there, and I was just shock for a few seconds until they moved to his bedroom… I decided to take all the info he had on transgenics and get the hell out of there, forever… But while I was at his computer I found some files on my siblings. Updated info. He had a lot about everyone and he never bothered to let me know… He knew where they all are. Were."

Alec was shocked, to say the least. He never expected the idiot to be so manipulative. But by the look on Max's face, even that part of the story wasn't over. Then he noticed something and asked

"Were? So they moved away now?"

"No, they're dead."