INTERLUDE: from the diary of meryl stryfe

July 25, Year 131, 5:17 p.m. – He's been asleep five days now. Mostly, it's a restful sleep, telling me his body is hell-bent on healing and not even the Devil himself is gonna be able to stop it now. Sometimes I lose him to the nightmares, but each time he finds himself and pulls his heart back to the comfort of this sanctuary's peace.

I can't even begin to express my gratitude for the people of this place. Ivan has given me nothing but hope since the moment we arrived. He is a kind man, worthy of the title of noble. That's what they call him. A nobleman. He is one of the wealthiest men I know, and I'm not talking about the wealth of riches or property. The people here love him, and he loves them. I think Vash would agree: his wealth is in his love for obligation. I've never seen a man so determined to help his people prosper. He's a big man with a big heart, though not quite as big as Vash's.

I spent the night at his side again. I find it difficult to sleep, knowing that any day now he will wake and peer out toward an unfamiliar world. Will he remember those pivital hours that brought us to Eden, or will his tortured thoughts choose to walk a darker trail? It's hard to say, really. I know only that I must wait at his side, and be there for him when he wakes.

I spend my free time fretting over Sean and Milly, wondering where they are, praying they're all right. I trust in Sean to do the right thing; we have known him only a short while, but if there is anything about him, I know we have gained his trust, and he had most certainly gained mine. They'll be okay, so long as he keeps his head. But what about me? My head is on a swivel, and I'm constantly lost to my thoughts. Mercia helps me with Vash as much as possible, fixing our meals and tending to his wounds every morning. She's a sweet person; I'm so grateful she has given us her home to help support Vash, grateful to Ivan for introducing me to this remarkable woman.

Sometimes I wonder, if Vash and I had come to know each other in another lifetime, would we have ever come so close as we are in this one? Somehow, I find that impossible to believe. Maybe my pain has collapsed down over my soul and crushed my imagination. I just don't know, and the truth is, I don't think I could ever know. I guess all that really matters is the here and now. This reality and no other.

But still, I wonder. What if?

What if?