Cale au Aratar 17

Worried Thranduil was watching the face of Gimli Gloins son as he spoke to his son and as soon as the spark of fear entered the dwarfs eyes did he demand to know what his son had said but the dwarf was unwilling – or unable - to answer his friends father. Shocked and fearful he was starring at his friends ashen face that was once again devoid of movement, he could not, he would not believe what he had just heard, he would not give up the hope that his friend would survive!

"Master Gimli, please tell me what my son said to you, please tell me!"

Finally, after endless moments the voice of the Elven king penetrated his thoughts and with tear-filled eyes he looked up to him:

"He did not recognise me, he spoke as if he had never met me before... and he wanted to tell his friend that he had finally befriended a dwarf... my king, he was speaking of Celebrimbor!"

Even though he did not know much of elvish history or lore he knew the names of the most important elves -–and when they had died. He had immediately recognised the name Celebrimbor as the name of the great Elven smith, the smith that had forged the three Elven Rings, the smith that had died in the fall of Eregion. He would not believe it, he dared not to believe it but his mind told him that Legolas was losing his sanity. How could they have been so ignorant? How could they not have noticed that the elf was wounded, they had been with them the whole time!

Startled Gimli looked up as he felt a hand on his arm to be met with the startling blue eyes of Legolas betrothed.. He hadn't talked to her since the day she arrived and he had told her that it was impossible that she matched the beauty of Lady Galadriel, her mother, but looking at her he had to concede that she was just as beautiful as her mother. With regret Gimli saw the worry on her fair face and a deep fear in her eyes. A new resolve filled his heart as he saw the pain of his friends fiancée and he knew that Thranduil felt the same pain: if he wasn't able to do something to help his friend than at least he would do everything to help his family till the elf had regained his health. And what better way to lighten their spirits than by talking about the one they all cared so much for?

Even though he was surrounded by his family and friends, most of which he had known since his childhood, Aragorn felt like he didn't belong there. True, all of them were there because they were fearing for Legolas life, all of them were either Legolas family or friends or both, he should be comforted by the thought that he was not alone in his worry and grief, he should be able to speak with them and search together with them for a way to bring Legolas back... yet he could not find it in himself to do so. Even Imrahil, Lothiriel and Amros had joined them a short while ago. Of course Imrahil had left soon after he had arrived together with Faramir and Elrohir to oversee the arrangements for the coronation of the High King of the Eldar but his youngest son and daughter had stayed. All of them were trying to do something for Legolas or at least distract the present elves... It should be him, Aragorn who talked the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood and the other present into eating something, it should be him who cared for his family – not the hobbits.

He was at a loss at what to do and the only person who would know exactly what he should do or say was Legolas. Why had his life had to be so complicated? Why couldn't he have stayed the foster son of Elrond of Imladris, oblivious to his heritage and free of the guilt that his actions were responsible for the impending death of his best friend. He cared for Legolas, he was like the older brother he had always wanted, like a brother, an uncle and a best friend wrapped in one person so why was he not able to apologise to him? He would do everything for his friend, even die for him-so why was he unable to do such a simple thing?

In all the years he had known Legolas had not once crossed the thought that Legolas might die his mind, not once had he believed it possible that he would someday be left alone. How had Legolas been able to bear that thought, no, the knowledge that most of his friends would die while he would live on? How could Arwen bear the thought that he would die while she would continue to live... but would she? Would Arwen really be able to live without him? Hadn't she said that she would rather live one life-time with him than to live eternity without him? Didn't that mean that she would fade upon his death? A new panic filled his heart, what would have happened to Arwen if he had died on the quest? Would she still have had the chance to sail to the Undying Lands – or would she had been trapped on this shore, unable to leave because of her love to a mortal? Slowly he began to understand his foster fathers reaction towards his relationship with his only daughter.

When he had first seen Arwen he had called her Luthien, so overwhelmed was he by her beauty. Even though he had already completed his twentieth year he had never before seen her – of course he had heard of her but he had not believed that she could be even more beautiful than any other elf-maiden. As he had later learned it had not been planned that he would meet her at all: a few weeks earlier Elrond had revealed his heritage to Aragorn and had told him that he would travel with the rangers who were on their way to Imladris. Arwen had arrived earlier and the rangers later than expected.

The Lord of Imladris had not been pleased when he had learned of their meeting – and of his foster sons infatuation with his daughter and had forbidden Aragorn to seek Arwens company. Acting like any other human his age would have done he ignored Elronds order and sought Arwens presence which resulted in his banishment from Imladris. For the next twenty years he had had barely any contact with his former home and family, the only one he saw regularly from his former life was Legolas.

Twenty-six years after he had left Imladris he had met Arwen in Lothlorien and had once again started to woe her – only this time she reacted favourable towards him. The night before she had to return home to her father and brothers they pledged their love and life to each other. It took a further three years before he entered Imladris again, not because he sought his foster father or brothers out or even because he tried to see Arwen but because he was gravely wounded and the other ranger he had been travelling with had not the capability to heal him.

He had been welcomed back with open arms and nothing seemed to have changed since he had last seen the Last Homely House and he dared to hope that Elrond had changed his mind about a relationship between him and his daughter. Yet when Elrond surprised Arwen and himself in a close embrace he had made very clear that he had not changed his mind. This time Elrond did not ban his foster son from his realm but told him that he would only be allowed to marry Arwen when he had accepted his birthright and became king of Gondor, knowing fully that Aragorn didn't want to claim the throne that was rightfully his.

During all those years he had believed that Elrond just didn't believe him worthy of his daughter, never had he thought that Elrond just didn't wish to loose his child to death. He had been so blinded by his assumptions and wounded pride that he had not even thought about the reasons his foster father could have. Not once had he questioned himself when he thought that Elrond had only taken care of him because he was a descendant of his brother, not once had he realised how deeply the elf cared not only for his daughter but also for his foster son to come to such a decision.

Slowly it occurred to him how selfish he had been in his actions towards his foster father: what would he have done in Lord Elronds place when he had learned that a mortal was wooing his immortal daughter? And that she, if she would accept him, would loose her immortality and her life. Wouldn't he not have also done anything short of killing himself to ensure his daughters life? How much must it have pained Elrond to banish his foster son from his home in order to prevent his daughters death. It was a wonder that Elrond – as well as Arwens other family and friends - were still talking to him much less still welcomed them into their life's.

How had Legolas been able to stand his sight when he knew all those years that he would bring Arwens death? How had he been able to stay his friend, even encourage his feelings when he knew what they would bring? Legolas had once long ago when he had still been a child and knew nothing of his ancestry said to him that he would be always at his side as long as he allowed it. At that time he had thought nothing of that promise, he was still a child, the youngest inhabitant of Imladris and even more a mortal child but over the years Legolas had always stood right next to him when he needed help and had not once questioned him in his decisions if it was not to prevent a grave error... and now Legolas was dying through his fault.

What was it that had driven him to say those words before the battle at Helms Deep? As soon as they had left his mouth he had regretted them and knew that he should apologise for them but had decided that there would be time for that after the battle. When Legolas had come to him to apologise he had been to proud and to relieved to do the same and after that all had been to hectic and he had soon forgotten the whole matter. No, not forgotten but he hadn't found it important enough next to the other things that were happening around them: Saruman had been defeated but Saurons forces were overrunning Gondor. He knew that should they win and Frodo and Sam succeed in destroying the One Ring than he would have to step forth and accept his birthright and become the king of Gondor. Since he had heard who he was almost seventy years ago he had feared his destiny, feared the expectations that were placed on him. Not even his love for Arwen and the prospect that he would be allowed to marry her when he became king allowed him to overcome his fear.

He knew that his friends time was running out, that it was most likely already to late for him to be saved but shouldn't he at least try? Shouldn't he at least tell him how sorry he was for the words he had spoken? What was it that held him back from apologising to the elf, was it just his pride or something else? He knew that he deeply regretted those words – and yet he felt that it were not the words, at least not solely the words that had broken his friends heard – but what else? How could he apologise for something if he didn't even knew for what exactly he was asking for forgiveness? If he were to go to Legolas, telling him that he was sorry but didn't know exactly for what the elf would sense it and their friendship would be destroyed even further. No, he had to wait with his apology till he was sure for what he was apologising for. In the meanwhile he could just hope that Legolas survived.

Aragorn looked up as the door to the room opened and Imrahil, Faramir and Elrohir entered and after looking around came over to him.

"Aragorn, there are still some things that need to be agreed upon by the king of Gondor for the coronation before we can proceed – so if you have time now..."

Aragorn winced slightly at the cold distant voice of his foster brother, ever since he had inquired about Arwens absence before his coronation the younger of his foster-brothers had been cold and distant towards him. Of course Elrohir was still polite – he doubted that his brothers even knew how to be not polite to anyone who was not an Orc or some other creature of darkness - yet it was that kind of politeness that was usually reserved for strangers they would rather put right back on their horses and send away instead of talking to.

Not even when he had been banished from Imladris were his brothers that cold towards him and till now he had not been able to understand how unnerving the polite aloofness of Elves could really be. All of his life he had been around the Eldar, he had grown up among them and even during the years he had been banished for the Last Homely House did he stay in contact with the faire beings, often visiting Lothlorien and Mirkwood. When others had stated that they felt like a piece of dirt in the company of one – or Valar forbid a group of Elves he had always had to suppress a laugh at their expense. Though now he understood what they meant as he felt it for the first time during his life.

While he spoke Elrohir was watching Gondors newly crowned king, he knew how much his coldness hurt the man but he was not able to stop himself. Whenever he looked at the man since their argument he could not help but remember that the mortal didn't seem to care that his best friend was dying. Maybe it would be different if Legolas had been anyone else, not his own best friend, not the betrothed of his aunt, not his king. Legolas had been one of his first friends outside of his immediate family, he had always been there to tease him and Elladan about being so much younger than himself even though he insisted to almost everyone else that he himself was still quite young.

When their mother had been tortured by Orcs and had sailed West after being unable to bear Arda any longer he had accompanied them during their first Orc-hunts till he could be sure that they were experienced enough to come back from them alive. He had told them of his own hatred for those foul beasts and promised them never to try to stop them if it were not for the fact that he knew that they would loose their life's if they did not heed his warnings.

He was not sure whom he would choose if he had to, his foster-brother or his best friend. Where had Estel gone, the young boy whose entrance would brighten every room or even Aragorn, who would die before harming anyone he cared for? Where was this person he had helped to raise and regarded as a younger brother?