THIRTY-TWO: see the future
He sent trails of fire across her skin as he ever so gently trailed his fingers along the soft skin of her body. When he placed his lips to hers, he became a part of her, an extension that she couldn't live without. Each second they were apart was another moment her heart stopped and waited for the connection that gave it life, gave it feeling. He inhaled deeply, brought her into him, into his heart, his life, the same way she drew him into her—wanting, needing, branding him into her heart forever. He cradled her against him like a mother would her child, protective yet with an inner meaning that held so much within that it almost threatened to devour her completely.
She pulled away from him only to replenish the air she so desperately needed. Survival was more than the beating of her heart and gasps of air she fought for; survival came in the form of Vash the Stampede. She wondered when it had all changed, when everything in her life began to include this man. But it didn't matter how it had come to be, only that it did. To her, Vash was more human than anyone she had ever met. Despite what he thought, what he knew, Vash was more real than anyone she had ever known. That he was here, that he had chosen her, meant more to her than anything else that might have mattered.
Vash had given her a precious gift that she could not forsake or turn away. No matter where this journey led them, she would be there, beside him, until it had all played out. This one moment was only a glimpse of what heaven could be like. Vash was a piece of heaven sent to her from the stars 132 years ago, and so many times she had been a fool who would not realize the truth. Now there were no more foolish moments. There would be no regrets. She would make sure of that.
My heart…belongs to you. For so long as you will have it. It was the action, the words, that left her breathless, and for a long time she could not respond.
After he spoke those words, his hands returned to her sides, resting on her hips to pull her against him. Despite the differences in their height, they fit together perfectly, two pieces of a puzzle in the grand scheme of life finally coming together to lock in place. It was so right, all of it. Every moment, every touch, every cry that separated them and every grasp that pulled them together again was right. Her head lifted against him, a single hand trailing from his cheek to rest at the back of his neck. Heat pulled from the both of them, but the effect that had on them seemed refreshingly cool.
Star-crossed lovers.
The phrase echoed over in her heart again and again, that she was from this place and that Vash was from another that she could never understand, save for staring at the stars above and wondering about each and every one of them. Vash himself was a wonder to her, and as she slid her hands across his chest, she mapped each and every scar that mattered nothing to her, but so much to the man that owned them. She was brought back to him, drawn by the passionate sound that escaped his throat, voiced into a the heated air like a call only she could hear. She raised her eyes to watch him. They were filled with a hidden need she could not yet express. She struggled to breathe, her chest rising and falling with each raspy breath. It felt like the span of a million years as his gaze gently traveled over her form, though she knew it had only been a mere moment.
"For all eternity," she whispered finally in answer to his oath. "I would offer you my own, but you already have it. You took it from me a long time ago."
And then she took his hand, pulling him with her toward the bed that they had been offered while they stayed in Eden. In the beginning she had seen it as a place where she would attain the rest she had been robbed of while Vash recovered from his wounds, but the gaze she held now spoke nothing of sleep. There was no weariness in her heart. Her eyes raised, taking aim for his, and she saw the things she never thought she would feel reflected in the eyes of this one man. "You have more than my heart," she admitted. "You have my soul."
They were her final words before she pulled him down to meet her gaze, and placed her lips gently to his own.
She was lost in the bliss of a single moment.
The past was forgotten, the future irrelevant. He was lost in the present, here in her arms, falling into a world he had never known existed. He was so proud to be here with her, so touched that they could spend this time together, without regret, without doubt, without fear. All of those emotions were washed away with the feel of her, the taste of her. It was her, the love of his life, who sent a swell of fresh emotions spilling through him, emotions he hadn't even known existed. He found that he couldn't begin to describe the feelings racing through his heart. All he knew was that they were the best of emotions, and he never wanted to feel any others for as long as he lived.
He was as gentle as he had ever been as he allowed his fingers to trail over her sensitive skin. It broke his heart that he had made her wait so long. She stood there, beckoning him with soft, violet eyes. The moment that she took his hand hers and guided him toward the bed, he realized that the wait was finally over.
He saw the hunger in her eyes as she lowered onto the bed, his hand gripped tightly in her own. He'd never known she had such an iron grip. Nonetheless it was a hold he knew he could never break, even if it were as fragile as a paper chain. Their eyes met as he lowered his body next to hers. He found her lips again and pressed his mouth hungrily over hers. They were truly two hearts bound into one, two bodies forever connected, no matter how far apart they would ever be. Here, together, he knew that their souls would be eternally merged, no matter what happened beyond this point in time.
Passion and reason became one and the same. It only made sense, her body in his hands, awaiting his touch. If I knew what I was doing, I'd be doing it right now, he thought, remembering the line fondly as their kiss lingered. He let his hands brush over her flesh, teasing her with his gentle touch as he lost himself in her love. For the first time in his life, he was eager, willing. Meryl had shown him compassion long ago, when she'd discovered the hundreds of scars that covered his body, and she seemed to take it upon herself now to kiss them all away, to heal the pain with her touch.
He wanted to kiss her, desired to feel her tender flesh in his hands, longed to please her in his own way. This would be a single moment that would soon blossom into the happiest of nights.
A perfect moment.
Impatience was a virtue only a true lover could possess in a moment of fiery passion. It was a virtue that Meryl had possessed all her life behind the somber mask she wore from day to day. Here, in this moment, she had shed away all that she hid beneath that mask and left herself exposed before Vash, allowing him to see who she really was. She was bare but for the single cross still draped around her slender throat. Her hair was matted to her face with perspiration.
He lifted his head to gaze into her eyes, clinging to her left hip with his real right hand as they lay next to each other. He gave her an easy push, rolling her over until she was flat on her back. He moved with her, watching down over her, shifting his body until he was on top of her, gazing down upon her with hunger in his emerald eyes, so full of life and lust. He felt the need for her burst through his soul.
His lips wandered from her mouth, delicately kissing away her unshed tears, grazing his lips against her eyes and nose, traveling down her cheek and neck and beyond, blessing her with the longing of a lover trapped in the deepest pits of despair. She let Vash take control with his kiss, the very fuel that fed the fire deep within her, that drew her so very close to him, reveling in the feel of his hand along her dampened skin. He was much like a zealous child, eager to explore the world that was her, eager to explore her every curve, each feature that made her who she was.
She knew she could not find him within the grooves on his chest and back, not within the deep emerald pools of his eyes. No, the truth of this man laid deep within the heart he had given her so graciously. She had locked it away, along with all the secrets and stories, still unable to pry beyond the sensitive layers it held. She would wait until he was able to tell the stories from his own lips, where she could hear them with her own ears. She longed for the day to come, but not now. Not at this moment when all that mattered were the feel of his gentle hands so delicate against her flesh. She let out a sigh that carried a sharp, high-pitched tone.
Could that be her voice—the one that seemed so impatient, so demanding—that cried out for more of the love that he was offering her? She felt trapped in her own ecstasy and she was not at all sure she ever wished to find her way out. Her nails tore down his back in a gentle yet seductive response to the shrills he was sending up her own. Her reactions were anything but timid and shy, as she shared the same hunger that she saw in his eyes as he commanded her with his touch. She knew there was no place for shyness now, not in a moment such as this. Her mind shut away from the world and her instincts took over her body. She gasped at his weight against her, no longer a burden as it had been on the day they had come to New Hope.
Meryl loved it all, reveled in the understanding that he was through waiting, through making her wait on him. All he had to do now was give her his all. His hand slid down along the flat of her belly, skimming over the softness of her hips, trailing to the sensitive skin of her thighs. His touch caused a sharp intake of her breath. There, he spread her legs gently, settling a knee between her thighs. He looked up to her, staring into her eyes, he rid himself of the final barrier. Meryl couldn't hide her curious behavior at wishing to see all of him, to know all that he was and experience all he could be.
He gazed down at her, reaching out to lift her jaw a little, so that she would look back into his eyes. "Close your mouth, Meryl," he said gently. He had to laugh as her face went crimson, and she tried to look away, but he had no intention of waiting on her. He reached down, took her cheek gently and found her lips again. Her embarrassment faded with the intensity of the kiss as her thoughts were washed away. The moment was surreal. He felt himself trembling within her hold. He'd heard stories, tales of how you were supposed to feel and what you were supposed to do. Here, he discarded them all and accepted the fact that he was Vash. As so many times in his life, he accepted that he would have to do it his own way.
Her knees cradled against his body, her eyes wincing as though expecting the pain of joining. He realized then that it wasn't at all like the stories he had heard. The men in the countless saloons who were willing to blabber on and on about their exploits with women knew nothing about emotion, and had no idea that they were committing themselves to a living and breathing being. He could feel Meryl's chest rise and fall against his own with her every breath, and knew without a doubt that she was not his slave, not his property. She was a woman through and through, and he was as much hers to enjoy as she was his.
He was hesitant at first, fearful that he might somehow break her. The look on her face told him not to be gentle, but Vash didn't know any other way. Finally he decided to forget about the consequences and settled his hands firmly against her hips. He bent down to claim a passionate kiss and then guided himself into her. It was a fluid and easy motion, without pain. Their soft moans in that decisive moment melded into one as he laid his brutally scarred body against her.
They lay there with limbs entwined, moving as one. Together, they were whole. Apart, they would always have this moment. For Vash, all the hesitation vanished from his mind as he took her, and she eagerly accepted him.
In the passion of the moment, Vash rediscovered himself, and at the same time he learned so much more about the girl beneath him than he had ever realized possible. It left him thunderstruck that such a straight-forward woman could have so many delicate, complex sides, so intricate he couldn't begin to describe them.
As soon as it had begun, it was over. Covered with sweat, Vash collapsed against her, enveloping her into his massive embrace. He set his face into the nook between her shoulder and neck and kissed her there. He could not let her go, would not. There was too much riding on this moment. If he were to let go now, he might never be able to find his way back to her.
"Meryl, I don't want to leave you," he whispers, and the tears came again. They rained down on her in torrents, a flood of emotion that wouldn't stop, drizzling over her sweaty, slender frame. "I want to stay with you forever. I don't want to die."
It was a revealing comment: Vash believed his days were numbered, and that Morgante's clones would be the end of him.
The moment broke gently with his words. Meryl opened her eyes, surprised to see the tears rolling down his face, hearing the pain in his voice. It was the fear that welled deeply inside him, tearing him apart to think that the end had come for them, and that this was just a brief glance to Eden before the sun burned out in their lives and ended their story. She tenderly set her hands to his cheeks and shook her head ever so slightly.
"Don't think about this, Vash. It's not the end. Even the darkest days have their light." He watched her and nodded, blinking his eyes. "We'll find a way to overcome this problem, just like all the others."
He nodded, never breaking his hold of her.
The night wore slowly on. Vash and Meryl lay together for a long while, never taking their eyes from one another for more than a handful of seconds the entire time. They were still lost in the moment, two lovers stranded between the stars with only each other to guide them home, as if they wanted to ever return.
Home meant they would be on the run again. Here, they were safe. Here, they were together. Who knew what life had in store for them? They didn't really care at the moment, as they were lost here in a sea of passion. They feared for their friends, presently on the road seeking to make life difficult for the enemy.
So many troubles stirred in Vash's thoughts. He didn't know exactly how long this life would last, only that it wouldn't be long before he and Meryl would be on their way again, to face dangers that neither of them truly understood.
Meryl let out a soft, satisfied sigh, allowing his fingers to trace along her body. Sweat glistened from each pore, but slid away from her features to leave her with a soft, hazy glow. Her eyes locked gently to his, knowing that there were so many demons left for him to fight, so many more than either of them yet knew. When you cry, I'll wipe away your tears, when you scream I'll fight away all of your demons. I won't leave you at the crossroads, I'll hold your hand through it all because I love you, now and forever, for always. You will always have all of me, she thought as she watched him through the narrow slits of her content, violet eyes.
She closed her eyes and chuckled silently before batting her lids up at him with an impish smile. He had just cupped his hand over one of her delicate breasts when the question came: "I'm hungry. Want to go downstairs with me and find something to eat?"
His eyes went to hers, and he had to smile seeing that playful grin. It had been an unexpected question; he had been so intent on her that he'd forgotten that he hadn't eaten in…how many days now? He wasn't even sure how long he'd been out, but he suspected that it had been at least a few days. Not that it really mattered. He would rather spend the whole of his life here with her, holding her to him. She was such a perfect woman that even the call of food didn't sway him from her.
His eyes slid shut, and he breathed her in once more, so fond of this girl lying next to him. He smiled. "If you really want to get up, I'm game. But for once in my life, I'm not hungry."
Meryl laughed until he interrupted her with a passionate kiss, and together they rolled into a sitting position. She rose, giving him a playful shove as she walked away to retrieve one of the dresses the natives had let her borrow while she and Vash were here, and chose a small, green and white bundle. "You're clothes are in the top right drawer," she said, and disappeared into the bathroom.
"Oh Meryl." He sighed softly and moved over to the dresser she'd indicated, opening the top right drawer. His eyes fell upon a pair of black slacks and a black muscle shirt, and he realized for the first time why it felt so empty here despite the fullness Meryl had to offer him. Milly and Stryker were gone. He suspected he knew where they were, since he could easily find Stryker's clothing where Meryl had said his own were, and at the same time his own were nowhere to be found.
He had to smile at the realization and pulled out the black outfit.
After he'd dressed, he stood before the mirror and considered how much he looked like his young counterpart. He suspected that without his scars, they'd be identical. For a moment, he wondered how old the clone he'd fought back at the titanium fortress had been. Had he been created before or after Sean?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound the bathroom door opening.
"They left the day you lost consciousness. Stryker thought he should create a distraction so that no one would come looking for you here…so you could heal."
"Probably a good idea," he commented as he turned to face her. She stood in the doorway, draped in an elaborate evening gown, faded olive with a vibrant collage of white flowers and vines and leaves. The soft satin fell delicately each delicate curve. Her hair was up, though a few stray strands of her long bangs still fell down around her eyes.
Vash smiled and approached the girl, gently taking her into his arms. Neither spoke for a long moment. Then, Meryl rose onto her tiptoes and softly kissed his cheek.
"You're really that hungry?" Vash asked.
"No," she admitted, refusing to take her eyes from him. "But I think you need some fresh air. It's been a long time since you've seen the stars."
"All the stars I need are right here."
Meryl flushed and gently punched his shoulder. "I'll show you stars," she huffed, and then grinned up at him. She was still feeling pretty feisty.
Vash laughed. "Let's go," he said gently, linking his arm to her and guiding her from the room, as though he knew the place. He led her down the hall toward the stairs, down into the main hall, past the kitchen and toward the front door.
Outside, he watched the world about him, careful of the silence. The night sky was filled with thousands of stars. Only two of the planet's five moons were in view, neither being the Fifth Moon. He stuck his hands in his pockets, gazing about good-naturedly as stood next to Meryl. She watched him, her eyes sparkling.
"You're right," he whispered. "I needed this."
She smiled and took his hand. "Come on. There's some I have to show you." He glanced to her and let her guide him off the porch and out around to the back of the house. There, she held him close to her side and then pointed out towards the horizon. "I saw it earlier, just after Milly and Stryker left."
Vash let a low whistle at the explosion of color that marked the northern horizon. He'd never seen anything like it. He saw two stars, one with a hazy blue tail and the other with a hazy red tail, both seemingly wrapping around the other.
"Amazing, huh?" she said softly. "It's two stars practically in orbit around each other. One day they'll collide and eventually, when the remains combine, they'll make a new star."
Her voice was soft and almost gentle as she stared out into the night sky, leaning her back against the wall of the house. Vash leaned next to her, watching the sight with wide eyes. "It's wonderful." His grip tightened slightly on Meryl's hand as he stood there, gazing in awe at the two stars that were being drawn together by forces he couldn't possibly comprehend. Like himself and Meryl. "How do you know about it?"
As he stood there, Vash let his hand grip Meryl's tighter.
"My father, I guess." She smiled softly, never taking her eyes from the sight before her. "I don't know how he could have known. It's a miracle to see something like this, how two stars could merge and become something new. They end, and yet, they don't. Their stories just change. From two separate lives to one. It's hard to comprehend it all, the how, the why, but it happens all the same. It's not one destroying the other; they're just making room for a whole other miracle up there."
She stopped there and looked down at his hand and smiled. "It's like down here, with us. We're two stars in a great big sky, and they're trying to push us out. So we have to make room for our own miracle. If we have to fight, then that's what we do. No one ever has the right to take the life of another, but we all have a right to live. Vash, without you, I could never live. Without you it's not really living."
He nodded at her words, but said nothing. He took a seat right there, and she slid to the grass next to him, and together they stared up at the stars, leaning against one another. Emerald eyes shimmered in the darkness as he thought of the better times of his life. Most definitely, his time with the former insurance girls ranked at the top of the list. There were other times, but those were few and far between. He could honestly say he'd fallen in love with them before he and Meryl had actually fallen in love.
"We'll do it together," he whispered. Five long minutes had passed.
Meryl looked to him, a small smile on her face. "You promise?"
"With all my heart."
She shook her head, grinning, and raised her hands to his collar to straighten it. "Vash…what was it like? Up there, I mean?" She turned her eyes upward to the stars that crept slowly across the sky.
He smiled. "It was kind of like being in bed with you," he said quietly. "Wonderful and awe-inspiring and even a little frightening. It was an experience I'll take with me to the grave. But my favorite part was being weightless." He moved over and took her in his embrace. "It was sheer bliss, with nothing to hold you back. Gravity didn't mean anything up there. Sometimes, here, it feels that the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I feel that way a lot, actually." He grinned. "But up in space, the weight is gone."
"Zero Gravity. I've always wondered what it was like," she said with an airy tone, smiling and closing her eyes as leaned against him. She felt cherished even now, a feeling that seemed to create that wonderful glow around the two of them. "I envy you for that, Vash. You've lived a life that I can only dream about."
Her words broke his heart. "Don't envy me," he said flatly, gazing to her with bitterness in his eyes. The first truly hateful emotion she had ever seen in his eyes. "I wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone, Meryl. This life has had its rewards, but the path I took to get here was not an easy one." He sighed, and forced the hatred out of his tone. "I'm sorry. It's just that my life has more dark times in it than bright. It's hard to imagine anyone else in my shoes, especially someone I care so much for."
"Funny. I would've thought different, knowing you." She took his hand, the expression on her face turned sad and serious at the same time. "I know there are many things I have yet to learn about you…but you must know that I am here to listen. I want to know about the man I love. I want to know everything, the bad with the good."
There was a long silence between them. Meryl stared at his chest, unmoving, not sure of what to say or what to do. She simply held his hand tightly in her own and turned her eyes to his face to give him a gentle smile. In that moment, he rewarded her with another kiss. "Okay. I'll tell you all of it. A little at a time, for the rest of our lives."
Meryl smiled and nodded.
"If you keep your vision clear, you will see the future," he said quietly. The legendary outlaw peered up to the stars and he was certain he could see that future there, staring back at him. He smiled down on Meryl, convinced that all was right in his world for this one evening.
She smiled right back.