By: Comm. Butler
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's characters but if I did I know one thing for sure that I would change…
Author's Note: Here is my first real serious story that I have written in the Anime section. This picks up where the episode Words of Farewell left off, so yes it's going to be sad, but despite that this is a Roy/Riza fic that I hope you will enjoy even though it lacks the usual humor of my other stories. I'm just not in the mood to write anything too happy right now.
"It's going to rain today." Roy stated looking skyward from under the brim of his hat.
"Yes it is." Riza came and stood next to him at the foot of Hughes graves. They stood there for what seemed like hours when clouds began to drift in on the creeping wind that surrounded Roy and Riza as they stood on the hilltop.
"Sir…"
"Hmmm."
"I think we had better go." She carefully linked her arm through his as a sign of comfort. To her surprise he didn't start yelling or shrug her off.
"Right. Hughes will want his…"
"Of course…" Hawkeye paused when Roy's other hand came to rest on top of hers on his arm
"Come on. You'll freeze if you don't get some pants back on." Roy tried to laugh but it came out a strangled bark. He felt Hawkeye sigh and they walked back to his car. They had driven together since that was how they usually traveled. The two of them had gotten rid of their apartments so they would be staying in the military barracks, in the officer's quarters.
The drive was silent, the two of them too grieved to speak and too officer like to break down and sob. It was the worst service they ever had to attend. Of all the ones even after Ishbal, this was by far the worst. Roy couldn't see beyond the fact that Hughes had somehow abandoned him and left him even though he promised. The last words he had said to him were so harsh. Why was he so inconsiderate, Hughes was just having a little fun. Roy gripped the wheel tighter and looked over at Hawkeye. She was huddled against the window staring out of it but not seeing anything. Roy wanted to stop the car and take her in his arms and tell her it would be alright, but he knew that she was stronger then that. Stronger then even him probably. He couldn't function as an officer without her.
Riza could feel Mustang's heavy gaze upon her and she turned to look at him. They held onto that look as if for dear life and then Riza whispered,
"The light is green sir."
"Right." Mustang turned his attention back to the road and Riza looked back out of the window. What she had seen in Mustang's eyes she never wanted to see again. They were the beginnings of tears. She wanted more then anything to reach across and rest her hand on the side of his face and just let him know that she was there for him and not just has his subordinate, she wanted to be his everything. Her hand came halfway to his cheek when he turned off the car and opened the door.
"Welcome back to Central, Lieutenant."
"Huh? Oh, yeah." Riza still sat there in her seat until Mustang came around and opened her door for her. Normally she wouldn't have stood for it but today she just didn't have the energy. She stepped out and Mustang closed the door behind her. A light rain had begun to fall as they walked into the barracks side by side. They didn't pass too many people and the few that they did were all junior officers who saluted and upon seeing the black sashes draped on them knew instantly where they had been. They came to the end of the hall and turned towards the mess still clad in the uniforms from the funeral. Mustang's hand hovered over the small of Hawkeye's back, not touching it but just in case.
They both sat at the far end of the mess with their dinners in front of them, not eating but more of just pushing it around the plate. They ignored all the noise around them and finally Roy spoke so softly that Riza had to lean in close to hear him.
"Lieutenant…"
"Hmm." She looked up hopefully. Roy shook his head.
"Nothing." He waited for a minute or two and started again.
"Hawkeye… are you…"
"Yes?"
"Are you… going to eat that?" He finished quickly. He couldn't make his lips form the words they wanted to. Hawkeye looked at him and continued to jab at her food and then slamming her fork down shoved the plate at him.
"Here!" She snapped and stood abruptly. Roy looked taken aback.
"What? Just eat it sir! I can't! Not, not… how can you just go around like nothing… what if… what if it was… you're a damn idiot sir!" Hawkeye choked out something else incoherent and then stormed off, her heels echoing off the walls of the mess in the silence of the surrounding officers. Roy slammed his fist on the table and then pushing his chair back he walked out after her.
"Lieutenant! Wait! What is… SHIT!" Riza's door to her quarters slammed on his fingers and he let out a gasp of pain as he pulled them out.
"GO AWAY!" Riza sobbed through the door and Roy obeyed and walked to the male officer's quarters down the hall. Whereupon he entered his own room and slamming the door began ripping off his uniform. He tore the black sash and then with a snap of his fingers he burned it into ash. The rest came off with only a few buttons missing. He was being careless. Clad only in his boxers he flopped down on the bed and shut his eyes to block out the dim light.
Riza began ripping off her uniform. She yanked the black sash off and grabbing her gun from the small table and shot half of a clip through it before it hit the ground. It was a good thing that she still had rubber bullets and a silencer or else there would have been a lot of damage. The rest of her uniform came off with only a few buttons missing. She was being careless. Clad only in a slip and underwear she flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes to block out the dim light.
Roy lay there thinking about the recent events, Ed, Al, the Furhur, Riza, Hughes, Alicia and Grace.
Grace, he'd almost forgotten about her, and Alicia, what were they feeling? Confusion, frustration, anger, bitter sadness or grief? He had seen how Grace had reacted at the burial, seeing everything and Riza he knew he never wanted to see any of it again. Mustang realized with a pain in his heart that Riza would look like Grace did someday, somewhere down the road, she'd get married to someone in the military probably and then have to stand in front of a grave while dirt was piled on her true love. The one person she'd opened and shared her heart and love with.
He never wanted to see that day, he didn't want to see her leave him, he knew that and he knew he loved her, but what if he wound up like Hughes? No he couldn't tell her what he so desperately wanted to, the risks were too many and too possible. It was better this way, officer and subordinate. They would make it past this and would continue to work together in companionable silence.
Roy shook his head getting up and headed into his bathroom for a shower. He need to cool his head and quickly too. As he walked past the small table in the room he saw his gun lying on the table. His fingers brushed across it and then he wrenched his hand back. He needed that shower and he needed it now.
Riza had fallen into a fitful sleep. A dream drifted slowly into her head…
She was looking through a black mesh veil of some kind, at a grassy patch on a hill. She realized she was on the same hill where Hughes was buried. She turned to her left a little and saw the slightly worn grave of Maes Hughes. What was going on? She could see several people standing in uniforms around her. Then she heard them. The men walking slowly their feet making swishes in the grass, the six of them bringing a coffin to the hole before her. She watched in her peripheral vision as they came up beside her. She couldn't stop her hand from reaching out and brushing the side of the coffin and her heart filled with dread.
She watched as the coffin was lowered into the hole and just as a shovel full of dirt thudded on the coffin something tugged on her hand. She looked down to see a miniature version of Mustang dressed in a little black suit and tugging on her hand.
"Mommy? Mommy? Who are they and why are they burying Daddy?"
"What?"
"Who are THEY? They can't bury Daddy! He's the Furhur! He has to work!" The boy protested tugged on her hand harder. Hawkeye stood there frozen and then before she could stop herself she had the little boy in her arms and was saying to him,
"Shhh, He's gone little solider. He's gone…" She felt the tears in her eyes and then suddenly her view switched and she was standing away from the pit where the coffin was buried, surveying the funeral from a fair distance. Riza saw as the woman who was her, clinging tightly to the protesting little boy. The hole was almost a third filled now. Riza turned back to the boy who was claiming that if Daddy didn't wake up then he couldn't show him the flame trick. That instant Riza knew, she knew who was being piled under the dirt. Mustang… Roy… no she couldn't let it happen this way! She had to stop them! Dashing forward she attempted to shove one of the diggers away but her hands passed right through them. She immediately without thinking jumped into the pit and the sensation of falling hit her.
She never hit the hard lacquered finish of the coffin but kept falling and a voice filtered to her. It was Roy.
"Riza get back! Look away, cover your ears! Something!"
"ROY!" Riza screamed as the falling and darkness consumed her. This couldn't have been Roy's death this was something else. Roy's voice returned pleading.
"Riza… please don't stop me…I have to do… it. I can't…"
"RRRROOOOYYY!" Riza shot bolt upright panting and screaming. She had to get to Roy; she had to get to him before… before… no she had to get to him. Jumping up she dashed to her door and after fumbling with the lock threw it open and ran skidding down the hall. She slid to a halt in front of Roy's door and banged on it sharply. She heard no reply so she banged harder and shouted,
"COLONEL!" She slammed her fist into the door over and over, ignoring the increasing pain. She could hear the rain pounding on the window at the end of the hall. That nor or the several people coming out of their quarters to stare stopped her. She shouted again,
"ROY! YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! ROOOY… DON'T…"
BANNNNGGGGGThe sound reverberated through the halls and Riza let out a shrill scream of terror and grief as she slammed her fist to the door once more and then collapsing against it slid down the surface taking the blood from her fists with her where she sat in a heap on the floor in a dead faint.