Chapter Eight (dedicated to Howl, who has been so patiently waiting)
"Remus Gets Worried, Harry Gets Hysterical, And Snape Gets A Clue."
It was Remus' face, panicked and wild, staring down at him; his voice asking desperately, "Harry, are you all right?"
The whole world seemed rather surreal. Harry's room was dimmed and filled with shadows, slivers of light drifting in through the flung open door, and his sudden wakening had jolted him to a half-upright position. Bedclothes strewn about him, he searched wildly for his glasses, all the while nodding abstractly. "Yes, yes, sorry for waking you." He finally found them folded up on the rickety bed-side table and slid them onto his nose with a satisfied sigh – only to have Remus' worried expression come clearly into view. It occurred to him that his pseudo-guardian would want to know, in some vague way at least, just why he'd woken up screaming. "Er…"
Remus sat on the bed next to Harry. He'd run to get to Harry, and his injuries were obviously paying him back for the movement. His eyes were soft and concerned when he asked, tentatively, "It wasn't Voldemort, was it?"
Harry shook his head immediately. "No, nothing like that, I promise. I'd have told you and Dumbledore right away if it had been."
"Sirius then?" Remus questioned gently. "Were you remembering him?" When Harry didn't answer, Remus continued. "I think about him too. It's okay to talk about him with me Harry. We both need to remember him – we need to remember the kind of man he was, and how much he meant to us." Harry still didn't speak. His eyes were clenched closed, and he drew his knees to his chest and wrapped skinny arms about them. "Harry? You should talk about this. Please? Please, tell me what's wrong."
For a moment that strung tight between the man and the boy, it seemed as if Harry would not speak. His mouth was a thin line held taut and his face pale. "I-" he began to say, then bit back the word. He looked in physical pain, wound tightly; tension building. "I can't," he finally said. "I can't tell you. Please don't make me tell you."
"It's okay," Remus said. "It's okay, whatever you say, it'll be okay."
Harry's expression twisted. He began to rock back and forth slightly, shoulders drawn in to his body. "I- I-" he sucked in a deep, shallow breath. Then suddenly, as if galvanized by pain, Harry gasped, "I have dreams," clinging tight to his knees. "Every night, I have dreams, and they hurt. And I wake up screaming or worse because they're always the same - they're always, always the same - and I miss him-"
Remus swallowed the ache that had risen to his throat and moved to gather Harry in his arms. Harry flinched away and Remus recoiled as if struck, hurt by the rejection; and then, suddenly, Harry had launched himself at Remus and was wrapping him up in desperate arms, his hot face buried in Remus' chest.
From the doorway, Snape slid backwards into shadows. His palms were slick with sweat; his fingers uncontrollably trembled. He left noiselessly for the privacy of his room, and left the werewolf and the boy to their own.
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They had company for breakfast in the form of Nymphadora Tonks, clumsy Auror extraordinaire. She beamed fondly at both Harry and Remus, and made faces at Snape whenever she presumed him unaware. She didn't appear to notice, or perhaps just glossed over, Harry and Remus' tired eyes and exhausted faces, instead babbling on about how with the summer coming to a close, most of the 'extracurricular' activities of Order members had also finally been done with.
She herself had just returned from a particularly harrowing mission to Egypt; further members would be trickling into Headquarters throughout the following week, where they could safely and without suspicion contact Dumbledore.
Snape held himself apart from the conversation. He didn't like being a part of groups, even if they were as small as three, nor was he ever particularly welcome – save for when the Headmaster happened to also be present. Also, he felt… uncomfortable around Potter. He was seldom around the grieving and for all his Legilimency skills, hadn't caught on to the depth of the boy's pain, or even that he was in pain at all.
Normally he would have pressed advantage at so obvious a wound to salt; but here, in this house that still held imprints of Black's presence, he was disconcerted and off-balance… and Lupin managed to glare at him rather impressively whenever Potter's back was turned, as if to warn with eyes alone, 'Do not go near this boy.' If Snape didn't keep a rather close track on the lunar cycles, he would've thought they were close to a full moon for all the feral energy Lupin managed to exude.
Tonks left them soon enough, and Potter helped Lupin back up to his rooms. Snape sneered at their retreating backs – let them have one another, seeing as no one else would be suicidal enough to go near to either a known werewolf or the biggest walking target of Great Britain. 'Except,' a niggling voice whispered in Snape's mind, 'that both have whole families – or at least the Weasleys, not that that's saying much – willing to take them in.'
It wouldn't do to sneer at oneself, no matter the fact that it was likely physically impossible. Snape settled for an exasperated sigh and set the stove for more tea. Introspection was best left for philosophers and madmen.
He was readying himself for yet another morning of reading potions texts in the effort of finding new innovations he could incorporate into his own brews when the Hogwarts' owl flew in and dropped a letter by his lightly steaming cup. Ah, his official class list for the new school term With a lightly anticipatory air, Snape opened the letter whilst absentmindedly waving the owl to the kitchen where it could be tended to by that over-zealous House Elf.
The parchment unfolded itself slowly as Snape scanned the class lists. Seventh year had lost five students, unsurprising given the rigors of the course. He had retained all his Slytherins and the Ravenclaws; most satisfying was that of the five drop-outs, four were Gryffindor. Snape's lip curled. He couldn't stand the reckless twits – their brainless antics had to be forever watched, and it was a seldom Gryffindor who realized that it would not, in fact, be funny to mix and match random ingredients on the off chance that there might be a resulting explosion – that in doing so, he endangered his classmates, his teacher, himself…
He moved on to the Sixth year lists. And stopped cold.
Harry Potter.
Harry bloody Potter.
There was no chance in hell that Snape would ever let that moron into his lab again, not after the glaring incompetence of last year, not with Potter's undoubtedly poor mark on his Potions OWL. No. Bloody. Way.
Oh, he and Dumbledore were going to have words.
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Except that night, it wasn't Dumbledore who came visiting: it was Alastor Moody, thumping tiredly through the front door and demanding first off a strong, hot cup of tea.
It was late, so Lupin and Potter were nowhere to be seen, thus Snape had the dubious honour of sitting up and listening to Mad-Eye gripe and groan about idiots in the Ministry. Normally he'd have been whole-heartedly agreeing with Moody, but tonight was in a black mood all his own over the lack of communication with Dumbledore, despite repeated owls and fire-calls. Dammit, Albus had to know that Snape wanted to talk to him – the manipulative wizard was biding his time, plotting ways to get Snape to acquiesce quietly to letting Potter into his classroom. Dumbledore was so sly, he was practically Slytherin.
Which Snape never thought he'd be saying as if it were an insult.
Moody had finally calmed enough to not send his magical eye spinning furiously, and polished off his cup with great relish. "So, Potter got here all right?" At Snape's snort, he grinned. "Always did like that one. Had fun threatening those Muggles he lives with – should've seen the colours they turned, especially that-"
Whatever Moody was about to say was cut off by Lupin stumbling into the kitchen, bleary-eyed. He headed straight for the teapot that Dobby had so helpfully left out for all of them to share in and poured himself a generous cup. It wasn't until after his third swallow that he looked up and nodded a hello at Moody. He asked Snape, "Have you seen Harry? I checked his room, but he wasn't in there."
Snape sneered. "I do not dog the boy's foot-steps, Lupin. Despite misconceptions, I am not the idiot's babysitter – you lost him, you find him."
Lupin's eyes narrowed. "I'll thank you not to insult Harry, Severus." He drained the last of his cup, set it down firmly, and stumbled back the way he came. A few moments later, they heard his faint voice speaking with another's: Dumbledore; and then retreating footsteps up the stairs.
Dumbledore entered the room not long after, and twinkled tiredly in Snape and Moody's general direction. "Ah, you're both still up I see. Wonderful, wonderful."
Snape did not question what brought the Headmaster to Headquarters so late at night. It obviously had something to do with Moody's mission, and so he didn't interrupt their conversation until it was clear that they were over and done with – he sulked on the sidelines, scowling ferociously, but he did not interrupt.
When Moody too had departed for one of the many guest rooms, and it was just Snape and Dumbledore left, Snape let his ire loose.
"I do not know what exactly you are hoping to gain by having Potter prematurely die, but I can assure you that you will not be enabling his death through me-"
Dumbledore cut him off mildly. "What makes you predict Harry's death, Severus?"
"His inclusion in my class, which he will undoubtedly manage to blow up within seconds of his first day!"
"Well." Dumbledore blinked slowly, tiredly, and stirred his tea carelessly with his wand. "I don't know quite why you are convinced that Harry will fail so spectacularly. He did, after all, receive an 'O' on his OWLs."
There was a dangerously still silence. Then, tightly, Snape said, "Do not lie to me, Albus."
Dumbledore had the gall to look surprised. "I, lie? Surely you have more faith in me than that, dear boy. No," he leaned forward earnestly, "I speak the truth. Harry Potter received an 'O' on his Potions OWL – both the practical and the written examinations. Just barely, mind you, but still, it was quite an achievement."
There was a faint roaring sound in Snape's ears, as if the world were toppling around him. 'But – but –' a tiny voice sputtered in his head. 'The letter. The damned blasted letter-!'
And Snape was filled with the sick sensation of knowing that somehow, in some way, Potter had managed to get the best of him. Yet again.
Woo! Another chapter done! I've decided I need to go another two chapters to finish this 'fic - sorry that my speculation on having it done by Ch.9 was erroneous, but I want to keep my pacing roughly the same, and there's a fair bit of action next chapter, meaning that Ch.10 is the denouement so to say. Thanks to everyone for their encouragement over my whining last time!
Coriel - Thank you! I hope this chapter also meets your approval! Parts of it seemed a bit rushed, but oh well!
blackshift - Sorry about the loss of Snape-Harry interaction lately; but Ch. 10 is chock full of it, so if you can hang on til then, it'll all be worth it, I promise!
Em - Hi::huggles: Well, now you know who it was that woke Harry! Hm, I really love the idea of using the mirror shard as a teen-angst plot device, and so shall try to work it in with the sequel! Heh, I'm stealing your ideas - sorry! I'll credit you, or not use the idea at all if it discomfits you. I'd've used it in this chapter as well if I hadn't already plotted it all out... :sigh:... I'm so glad you like this story - you always have cool things to say, and give me awesome ideas (plus hugs!), and I'm just really happy I'm writing for someone like you! (...who won't be scared away by weird author rambles...)
dmweasley - Thank you! I like the sly!Harry as well, and as for the whole inner conflict over his friends... you'll see what's going through his head later on. It's rather hard to show his inner thoughts all the time because of the omniscient perspective this story adopts, which keeps viewpoints hopping. I hope you don't mind the minor ambiguities, but if you feel that they leave too big of plot-holes, please don't hesitate to let me know!
Cap'n Dru Shaddix - Glad to be of service!
tweeny-weeny - No::gasps in horror: It can't be! That's so horrible, you poor dear! Erg, can be a cow sometimes, don't you agree? I hope you get your story back up here soon! (... or get it back up somewhere that's not quite so censored. Arg, makes me mad sometimes!) And I quite sympathise over homicidal friends - though I've the feeling reincarnation would be less painful than enduring stoically the beatings... Oh, the very many beatings...
dido - Oh! Wonderful review! Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoy it, and thanks for the ego boost! I need it, what with low self-esteem, etc., and I hope this update meets to the rest of the story's standards.
Strega -Ah, sorry, but it wasn't Snape that woke Harry! I'm deeply apologetic for whatever consternation this may have caused! But I hope you'll be happy with the Lupin/Harry interaction I managed to sneak in there - and I hope you don't find the scene slightly stilted. I had written parts of it out previously, and was trying to incorporate those parts into the flow of this chapter. I hope I succeeded, but I'm not quite sure if I managed to make it all believable or not... :sigh: I mean, did it seem weird to you that Harry didn't at first want to reveal what was upsetting him? And that then he broke down? ...Huh. I'm a bit worried about that bit. Aside from that, yes, you're right, Snape's finally cluing in! He's not dumb, he just expects the worst from Harry, so of course that's all he sees for the longest time. And now... the truth is coming to light! On a side note, I, too, have been woefully hindered in the past by a conscience. Horrible thing. Without it, this lazy Huffle with scholastic leanings and Hermione-esque hair may have made the quintessential Slytherin! (I am rather manipulative, after all.) Thanks so much for your thoughtful review!
Mebear - Hee! I'm glad you liked the roof of the house, but that part isn't quite what it seems... you'll see what I mean by Ch.10, promise! Until then, please keep reading!
AwesomePossum - Ah, where would Sherlock be without his Watson? (Prolly tripping over his feet and giggling all the while) Thank you once again for a snortle-inspiring review! And, hm, mayhap I should gift Watson with a good bottle of butterbeer as a reward for having to deal with such a goofball? Oh, who am I kidding... he deserves the firewhiskey, at least!
Howl - Did ya notice? Did ya notice? This chapteris all for you. I hope you liked it, my splendiferous muse! And, wow, I LOVE Dogma! I just about died at the end when God turned out to be Alanis Morisette, one of my fave. singers! And Jay and Silent Bob were hilarious, as was the talented Linda Fiorentino, and thewonderful Alan Rickman... :sigh: I was so not surprised when he was the Voice. Because he has that voice, y'know what I'm saying? But, oh, you don't like Salma Hayek? I've always been enamoured of her movies, actually, and I thought she made a wonderful Serendipity... and I really liked Bartleby and Loki... ah, indeed, it's a wonderful movie! Thinking back on it makes me smile... Oh, and I'm sorry about the semi-cliffhanger, promise not to do it again! (...this 'fic at least...)
laer - Thanks so much! Ah, I'm getting a swelled head from all the praise... Oh, and, eh. I'm not one for capital letters either, usually. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far, and I hope it continues to entertain!
Clodia - Yup! There'll be a sequel! I've decided! But first I want to get away from this overall plot line a bit and immerse myself in another story... I hope you won't mind the wait! And thanks for the backing-up-of-my-writing-style. It means a lot coming from you. Oh, yes, I believe we should all pity Snape, at least a bit. But fear not! He gets his own back. And yes, Remus will be all right - well, at least until the sequel. Then, all bets are off::wild cackle: Oh, and don't worry about the amusing&disturbing thing... both me and my friend fit under the same category, so you've good company! Thanks a lot for your continuing support. It's quite bolstering and warming, and encourages me to go on.