Batman and the associated characters are owned by DC and the Matrix and it's characters are owned by Larry and Andy Wachowski. This is set before the original Matrix film. All reviews welcome
Chapter Seven – Hostile Takeover
Morpheus was famed for showing no emotion. For being as cold and logical as the agents that hunted them. Trinity studied his face. For a moment, just for a second a flicker of fear haunted his face.
"I take it that is not an easy place to get into?"
Morpheus turned to Bruce who was just putting on his cowl to become Batman and raised an eyebrow. "Well it was easy to get out of until recently. Since Bane literally blew a hole in their security they have doubled the guards and put all kinds of new security in place."
"Can you get us in?" Toned Morpheus.
"There is a National Guard base just been set up ten minutes drive from Arkham."
"So what you are saying," said Trinity. "Is that if we avoid the agents, the police, the Arkham guards and inmates, the army will blow us away?"
Alfred coughed. "We have two more small problems."
"What's that?"
"One," he dropped the remote controller on the floor. "I've just crashed the humvee or rather the police dropped a spike trap in front of the wheels. Either way it is out of commission and they will shortly be searching for us again."
"And two?"
"The Batmobile only has space for four people and that is only at a very tight squeeze." He gestured around at the others, "We are five."
"Trinity can sit on my lap!" Said Robin a little too quickly.
Trinity gave him an appraising look. True they hadn't found "the one" yet as Morpheus so confidently predicted they would. But when and if they did she hoped he was at least of an age he could shave. "I'll share a seat with Alfred." Said Trinity thinking it was probably the lesser of two evils.
"Okay let's hustle!" Said Tim and ran towards the Batmobile.
They all squeezed into the car. It had two small seats in the back, mainly for squeezing perps into. Morpheus and Batman sat at the front.
"Just like a family day out," said Alfred as he squeezed himself into the back.
"Are we there yet?" said Tim.
Batman growled. "Any complaints and I strap you to the front of the car."
Alfred sighed. "Yes just like a family day out."
Batman pressed the ignition switch and the reassuring sound of the V12 engines reverberated around the cave. He pressed his foot down and the car leapt up the ramp towards the exit cave. He pressed a button and it scanned the outside road. Clear. He pressed another button, felt a moment of worry. Have they walled this exit in as well?
They have. There in front of them was a brick wall. How thick is the wall? What will give in first? The car or the wall? Well this was a heavily armoured beast of a car. He put his foot down and crashed through the wall. Bits of brick and dust billowed out onto the road as they screeched onto the road. Up above him a spotlight came on from a police helicopter. He pressed his foot down and the car accelerated quickly into the night.
The Joker was starting to get rather disorientated by all this switching from body to body. The last thing he remembered was sinking into a pile of slurry with the mother, father and triplets of all pain in his crotch. Now, thank god, the pain and smell was gone and he was in a helicopter. He looked around him trying to find something to smile about. Below! The Batmobile! Right, time to go after him. Who's flying this thing?
He looked about. There was a very scared looking woman next to him dressed in a rather fetching police uniform. Time to turn on the old charm. It always works on Harley. "You look absolutely edible." He licked his lips and looked over at her. "Follow the Batmobile please, my dear."
"What happened to you?" She managed to stammer out.
"It's probably an improvement," said the Joker. The helicopter started to lurch. "Whom did I possess?"
"The pilot!"
The helicopter lurched and the Joker looked at the controls. Well how hard can it be? It looks like a car, albeit without a steering wheel. Pedals and a gear stick. He grabbed the "gear stick" and the helicopter went into a spiral groundwards bound. He started to giggle. When you can't die everything is funny. The woman beside him was screaming.
The Joker suddenly went still. His mind felt icy cold as all this new information came streaming in. He grasped the controls of the helicopter and suddenly knew how to fly. The system might not know how to talk but it sure could teach.
He gave his companion a broad smile, something he was good at. "This will be the ride of your life!"
"You're the Joker!"
"What gave it away? We'll get along famously. We have lots in common." He looked at her face in a professional way whilst piloting towards the Batmobile. "I like your lipstick."
She was trying to get as far away as possible from him in the confines of a helicopter.
"I normally use a reddish purple mercuric plant dye called fucusalgin, 0.01 iodine, and some bromine mannite and a dash of cyanide," he said. He looked over at her to see what affect saying this had. She had her mouth open looking shocked still. Not very talkative this woman? "Potentially lethal to anyone I kiss, but you know they just don't stock it in Arkham anymore. What lipstick do you use?"
Batman was roaring down the road. The speedometer was showing 200 mph. He knew he could go faster. There was a police roadblock up ahead. His lip curled.
"Is everyone strapped in?"
He pulled the wheel to the left and applied the hand brake. The car skidded round, sideswiped a police van out of the way. Span around through the only gap in the cordon and he accelerated over a police spike trap. The Batmobile's tyres were made of a sponge like material. Lots of air holes. It was practically impossible to deflate them.
He accelerated down the road leaving the police road trap behind him. There wasn't a car on the road that could catch them. A beeping sound was heard. He looked down a small screen showing a radar screen flicked on.
"Helicopter alert." The computer voice said.
A small screen lit up on the dashboard showing a camera on the mobile pointing straight up. Another radar screen lit up showing the helicopter right above them. The helicopter skimmed down low to the road and Batman could see the Joker flying it. There was another helicopter with two agents in it on the other side.
Batman pressed his foot down…
The Joker checked his pockets. Grenades. Lovely grenades. He cast a beatific look to the heavens. He didn't know who or what the system was but the way it was helping him out it had to be his own personal God. He flew over the Batmobile and dropped a grenade in its path. The Batmobile roared over it and even though the explosion happened right under the car it didn't even leave the road and it certainly didn't stop its speed.
He smiled over at his unwilling companion. "What's your name sugarplum?"
"B-b-b-b-b-bridge!" She said quavering and pointing ahead.
"Bridge? Bridge? That's a queer name? Who was your mother aqueduct?"
"No there's a bridge in front of us!"
The Joker looked at where he was flying and thought it was technically impossibly he paled. He pulled back on the stick and guided the pedals expertly to take the helicopter over the bridge and carried on following the Batmobile.
He looked down below. There was a police car on the other side. He dropped a hand grenade right through the front windscreen and was greeted by a wonderful explosion. He looked back to the see the police car blow up and swerve into the path of another car on the other lane. His eyes started misting over.
"Beautiful, just beautiful. You'll have to forgive me I'm just an old softy," said the Joker to his companion and he wiped his eyes with a big maroon hanky he got from his pocket. "Anyway my dear. You know my name but you have the advantage of me?"
"N-n-n-nancy," she stammered.
The Joker cocked his head to one side. "You see that was easy wasn't it? I like to know the names of the people I kill. It gives it more the personal touch."
Agent Smith saw the Joker's abortive attempts to blow up the Batmobile. He would have to get in close and personal to stop this car. He gestured to Agent Brown who took the helicopter down so low they were dodging other cars on the freeway. Smith opened the door of the helicopter and leapt out onto the Batmobile. He grabbed one of the fins on the side and drew his fist back to punch through the door when an electric shock came pulsing through the framework. It gave him a jolt but it was nothing he could not handle. Then Batman turned on the windscreen cleaner and the water and electricity combined to dramatically increase the voltage and jolt the agent off the Batmobile and sent him rolling down the side of the freeway. When Agent Smith stopped rolling he stood up and started brushing himself down when Agent Brown brought the helicopter down low next to him. Smith leapt onboard and the helicopter started accelerating after the Batmobile.
"Problems?" Said Brown.
Smith grimaced. "We need a way in."
Brown put one hand to his ear as the system started talking to him. In a rare sight for an agent he smiled. "We've got one."
The Joker punched Nancy on the chin and grabbed a cable the system had just created in his pocket. He tied her up. His parents would be proud of him, he giggled. All those years in boy scouts had not been wasted. He shook his head as he thought of the last campfire he had been on. Every time he smelt wood smoke he was back in that last campfire. It would always remind him of hot chocolate, roast marshmallows and roast scout leaders. He lowered her out of the front of the helicopter and tied the end of the cable to a strut.
He saw the agents try and punch there way into the Batmobile and chuckled as he saw Smith be shocked off the car and go rolling down the freeway. Batman could never resist a dame in distress. Any dame with the Joker was definitely in distress. He flew the helicopter after the Batmobile. He never found out what lipstick Nancy used? Oh well too late now.
He dangled Nancy in front of the Batmobile's windscreen. As he thought the top slid back revealing Batman. The Joker dropped a hand grenade, which Batman batted away with a casual flick of his wrist. Batman grabbed the cable and snipped Nancy free and dropped her into the Batmobile and then clambered quickly up the cable towards the Joker.
"Perrrrrrrrrrfffffffeeeeeeeeeecccccccccctttttttt!" The Joker looked over at the side of the helicopter as he saw the Batman's face appear. "Hello Batty, I can't die. What about you?"
Morpheus had taken over from Batman in driving the Batmobile. He pressed a button and the roof slid back again. He looked at a map on a screen in front of him. Just two miles to Arkham. He looked at the bloodied face of the girl next to him. Her face morphed and he was looking into the face of Agent Smith. It was not an improvement.