Batman and the associated characters are owned by DC and the Matrix and its characters are owned by Larry and Andy Wachowski. This is set before the original Matrix film. With thanks toeveryone who has taken time toreview or make comments on my work. They are all appreciated.

Chapter Twelve – Hostile Takeover

Alfred threw the pan at Zsasz covering him in scalding vegetables and hot oil. Zsasz hissed in pain and dropped the knife. Alfred picked up a frying pan from the side and hit Zsasz on the side of the head. Zsasz went down with a rather satisfactory crashing sound. Two-face picked up one of the guards' guns and pointed it at Alfred. Alfred threw the frying pan and it connected with Two-face's head with a rather agreeable clanking sound. Well, you don't get to be a butler to the world's greatest martial artist without picking up a few things.

That just left Professor Crane, the Scarecrow. He laughed as he saw his comrades fall to the ground. "You are good, Alfred. I don't scare too easily though."

"Neither do I," said Alfred, and he was surprised to realise it was true.

The Scarecrow had picked up a rolling pin and brought it down with a crashing sound where Alfred had just been standing. Alfred had rolled on the ground under the man's legs. He jabbed the back of the Scarecrow's legs with his feet and bought him crashing down on the floor. He picked up a broomstick, spun it around once and bought it down forcefully on the back of the man of straw's head.

Alfred looked around at the kitchen. Wrecked. This was not getting the cooking done and now his assistants were out for the count. He sighed. He had cooked meals for more people with less time before. He looked at his watch. Ten minutes till lunchtime…

Bruce saw Tim for the first time on the deck of the Nebuchadnezzar. Like Bruce he was pale with no hair and looking very thin. He smiled when he saw Bruce.

"This is far out stuff, isn't it, Bruce!"

Bruce forced a smile. "Yeah. You know they still have Alfred hostage?"

"Yeah, I say we go in and kick some agent tail."

Morpheus appeared behind them. "Not as you are."

"What have you in mind?"

"We will put you in a training program first." Morpheus gestured to two empty seats. "Trinity and Mortive here will be your training partners." He pointed to two attractive women. Like Bruce, Tim and Morpheus they had the metal hole at the back of the neck and the rows of small metal holes on their arms. They smiled at them.

"I hear you are one hot martial artist in the matrix," said Trinity. She smiled at Bruce.

"I'm the best there is," said Bruce without smiling. "The best that ever was and the best there ever will be."

"Modesty!"

"He's right you know," said Tim, nodding.

"You haven't seen Morpheus and me fight yet? However good you are now, you can be better."

"I'm not in the position to fight at the moment. I will need several weeks training and protein and muscle stimulants to bring myself to what I was in the matrix."

"We are not talking about outside the matrix. We are talking inside the matrix. First of all we need to increase your skills." Trinity pointed at the chair. "Sit down there, hotshot. You too, short stuff."

Bruce gingerly sat down on the chair. Tim sat on the chair opposite him. Trinity started leafing through stacks of micro disks. She chose a disk and raised an eyebrow as she looked at Bruce. "Your combat training might be pretty intense but I dare say we can up it a notch. Put your head back. Morpheus, plug these boys in."

Bruce felt a cold feeling in the back of his head as the probe slotted into the hole in the back of his head. A cold feeling swept through Bruce's mind as new information streamed in. Bruce grabbed the probe behind him and physically ripped it out from the back of his head. "I WILL NOT LEARN ABOUT GUNS!" He stood up and ripped out Tim's probe as well. "You think you know me. You don't know me at all. I don't use guns. I don't kill. If you are after someone to kill for you I suggest you visit Arkham like the agents did."

"We are fighting a war," said Morpheus.

"You're fighting a war. Not me."

"Agents are programs of the system. They are not real people."

"They possess real people don't they? If I kill an agent what happens to the person they have possessed?"

"There are always innocent victims in war."

Bruce closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "We will have to agree to disagree. If you help me get Alfred back, I will get rid of the Joker for you."

"How can you get rid of him if you won't kill him?"

"Leave that to me."

"We still need to improve your skills," said Morpheus. "With your permission we will plug you into a sparring program"

Bruce gave her a shrewd look. "Fine." He sat down on the chair again and closed his eyes.

"What's this crap?" said Maxie Zeus, waving a bowl under Alfred's nose. "Speak quickly, mortal, lest I strike you down with a heavenly firebolt!"

Alfred tried to force a smile. "It's Spaghetti Carbonara. Spaghetti, ham, pepper, eggs, cream, parmesan and a dash of parsley."

Maxie Zeus bought a fork of the mixture to his mouth and chewed a couple of contemplative mouthfuls. "It's nice. Very nice! Food for the gods indeed, mortal."

Alfred carried on serving the food to the rest of the inmates who seemed very happy with the change. He looked behind him. The two guards had woken up and were nursing sore heads where Two-face had knocked them out. Two-face, Zsasz and Professor Crane were being led out of the kitchen. Part of their punishment for the escape attempt was being denied lunch. The sounds of people enjoying Alfred's fare was not improving their mood. Alfred gave them a smile as they passed. For the first time since he had been in Arkham he was starting to enjoy himself. Now what to have for desert. He looked behind him in the kitchen. Something quick and easy. Banana split with a dash of chocolate orange.

When he opened his eyes again he was in what looked like a Tibetan temple. The walls were covered in swords, spears and shields. Through the door he could see a stunning mountain vista. Standing next to him was Tim. The two girls, Trinity and Mortive, were in front of them. Morpheus was standing at the back watching them.

"This is part of a training program," said Morpheus. "It reflects the matrix conditions exactly. Same gravity, same ambient temperature, everything."

"So this is not the matrix then?" said Bruce, looking around.

"No," said Trinity. "Defend yourself." She stood in the crane style and lunged a kick at Bruce's head. Bruce barely had time to block it. He kicked at her and started punching at her head. With inhuman speed she blocked all his attempts. He punched her on the chin, knocking her back. She retaliated by sending a scissor kick at Bruce's midriff and sending him flying against a pillar.

"Impossible," said Bruce, struggling to his feet.

"Not at all," said Morpheus stepping into the middle of the room. "You need to unlearn your inhibitions. This place," he waved a hand around him, "is no more real than your imagination."

Bruce got to his feet and closed his eyes. The self-hypnosis tricks of a Tibetan spiritualist master came back to him. He put his hands into a basic karate defence move and said. "Okay then."

Morpheus gestured at Trinity to fight Bruce.

Bruce shook his head. "No not just her. All of you. Defend yourselves."

Morpheus leapt into the air and aimed a kick at Bruce's head whilst Trinity and Mortive punched at Bruce. At where he was. He seemed to blur and he grabbed Morpheus by one foot and threw him into the girls. Trinity rolled out of the way and ran up the wall towards a spear. Bruce was already there. He punched her back down the wall and leapt ten feet onto a chandelier.

Tim was standing on the sidelines completely stunned by all this. Morpheus grabbed a sword from the wall and threw it spinning towards the chandelier. Bruce leapt off the chandelier, grabbing the sword with one hand as he did. Mortive had grabbed a spear, which Bruce rapidly chopped into pieces. He punched her out with the hand guard on the sword and then turned to Morpheus. Bruce felt his legs tighten together. He looked down and realised that Morpheus had caught them in a pair of South American bolas. He used the sword to cut the bolas in two. In that split second Morpheus aimed a kick at Bruce's chest sending him flying against a wall. Bruce twisted impossibly in mid air and kicked at the wall sending him flying back towards Morpheus. Morpheus ducked and sent a kick into Bruce's stomach sending him flying into the chandelier again.

Dazed and bruised Bruce landed with a crash on the other side of the room. "How did you do that?" he said when he got his breath back

"You are an exceptional fighter, the best I have seen," said Morpheus, helping Trinity and Mortive to their feet. "But you are still fighting like this was a real place. The only physical laws are in your imagination."

"Can I join in?" said Tim.

"You're just a boy," said Trinity disparagingly. "I could beat you both hands tied behind my back."

"Ooh kinky!" said Tim. "To make it fair, I won't use my hands. I don't punch girls," he glanced over at Bruce, "unlike Batman." He thought about it a moment. "Well maybe occasionally if they are trying to kill me."

Trinity aimed a kick at Tim's head, which Tim ducked. He spun around on one hand and aimed a kick at Trinity's knee. She leapt into the air and bought a scissor kick down at where Tim's head was. By the time she landed he had gone. He grabbed her by the neck and bought her down forcefully onto the floor with his hands.

"I thought you said you wouldn't use your hands!"

"I thought you said you would tie yours behind your back?"

Tim backflipped away and let Trinity get to her feet.

The door to the temple opened and Mouse and Doter walked in and two other people Bruce had not seen before. They took up places either side of Morpheus. Trinity and Mortive also lined up next to them. Seven against two. Now it was getting interesting.

Bruce and Tim both went through a basic ninjitsu attack routine. Whip crack sounds reverberated through the temple as they punched and kicked in midair in perfect unison. They both stopped and adopted a Quin Lang pose designed for fighting multiple opponents

"Defend yourselves." They both said simultaneously.