A Dance on the Edge of Sanity

Waiting was killing him. Silverfox had exhausted himself after two days of searching; Starfall had sent him to bed with orders to rest, at least. He was curled in Starfall's guest room; he couldn't go back to his empty house.

After the warning rang across the Vale, Starfall, Silverfox, and Darian had raced towards the site where they'd last Felt Firesong. It had been no use, though… By the time they'd gotten there, nothing had been left but broken branches and, horrifyingly, a patch of Skyfire's blood. There was nothing to show them where Firesong and Skyfire were.

Silverfox closed his eyes tightly. The last few days without his lover and their daughter had been hell on earth. There was nothing he wanted more than to open his eyes and see Firesong lying next to him, smiling and planning some new adventure for their daughter. He shivered violently, chilled to the bone. Would he ever see them again?

Of course you'll see them again, he thought, angry with himself. You have to stay positive… Advice he'd given hundreds of times as a kestra'chern… But very hard to swallow himself.

He sighed and moved his head; he'd soaked that patch of pillow. It was so much harder, here, to keep his composure… But who was watching, anyways? He held himself together when searching for them, but here, while he was "resting," what was the point?

He moaned quietly and turned onto his other side. As he started a relaxation routine, his exhausted body dropped into sleep.

Windstar woke that morning to a feeling of dread hanging thick in the air. The sense that she needed to be somewhere had increased. She dressed quickly and headed out to the bow of the ship, straining her eyes towards their destination.

:I have to admit, for speed, this beats us: Mero said, carefully moving his large body over the deck towards her. :Call me old fashioned, though, but I still think it sounds better in songs for the hero to come running up on a pure white horse.:

Windstar snorted. :Whatever happened to you not being a horse, then:

:Well, physically, I am a horse. It's very similar to your situation… Physically, you are human. Inside, though, you're a demon.:

She threw her head back and laughed. "Thank you, Mero."

The Companion snorted and touched his nose to her arm. :You seemed like you needed something to lighten your spirit.: He said simply. :It's worse today, isn't it:

Windstar ran her fingers through Mero's mane. "Yes… It's much worse today. Something is wrong, Mero, but I can't tell what!"

He exhaled his breath in what sounded uncannily like a sigh. :That is why more Foreseers wish they had any other Gift. There are very few true Seers… The rest of you only get pieces, or feelings that something is happening.:

"Lucky us," she muttered, stroking his mane absently. He lipped her shirt comfortingly; he'd have given a lot to have arms again, to hug her.

She sighed, staring into the air in front of her. "Brooding about not knowing anything isn't really going to help, though. I could try scrying…"

:I wouldn't, if I were you. There's a chance that whatever is bringing you here is magical, and might recognize a scrying attempt.:

"This is true. Thanks, Mero."

:Certainly.:

"I guess I'm stuck waiting, then."

:So it would seem.:

The scowl that twisted Windstar's face was truly something to behold. "Mero, I hate waiting."

"I wonder where you got that trait?" A teasing voice asked behind her. Windstar smiled, but did not turn around.

"I don't know, Mama… It couldn't possibly be from you."

Elspeth cackled. "Of course not! I'm well known for my patience."

Windstar eyed her mother. "Mama, that laugh is scary. You sounded like a madwoman."

"I am a madwoman, dear," Elspeth replied, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I have to be, to not go completely crazy."

"Ooookay then…"

Elspeth shrugged and sat down on the deck. Having been raised with her feet firmly on the ground at all times, she wasn't nearly as comfortable as her husband with the flying ships. They were lovely, and wonderful transportation… But it would be nice if they would fly closer to the ground than the clouds.

:I completely agree with that, Chosen: Gwena muttered, wishing the ship were wider so she could have more space between her and the railings. Elspeth sent the feeling of a hug to the Companion, who had refused to leave the exact middle of the ship since boarding.

:We're almost there, dearheart: she said reassuringly. The captain of this merchant ship had told her they should arrive in Errold's Grove right around noon.

:It can't be fast enough for me.:

Windstar had dark rings under her eyes, Elspeth noted. She hasn't gotten used to Foresight, yet, she thought. When you're older, you learn not to worry about things that are going to happen; you just get prepare for them and hope for the best. Elspeth had Felt the increase in urgency today as well, but she understood that they were going as fast as they could, and no amount of fretting would get them there faster.

She placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder; Windstar jumped and stared at her.

"Relax, dearling," she said. "We'll get there when we get there; until then, there's no use worrying."

Windstar's eyebrows furrowed. "I just wish there were something I could do now. I feel so helpless… What if something terrible is happening, and—"

"And there is nothing you can do now. Think on it this way, Windstar. Even you are limited at this distance; there isn't a lot you can do. You don't know what the situation is, you don't know how dangerous it is, you can't make a decent decision with no information. You could even make a bad situation worse revealing yourself now, where you can't do anything, instead of keeping quiet and acting when you can make a difference."

Windstar sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I know, I know." She turned to give her mother a wry smile. "It makes perfect sense… That doesn't mean I like it."

Elspeth grinned. "Of course not. I hate it, too. I wish there were something I could do from here, but there isn't, so I just pace and give lectures on the Way of the World."

"Could be worse. You could be giving me 'Lessons in Patience.' Those were Lystai's favorite."

"Mmm… Patience. Yuck." Elspeth shook her hair out of her eyes and eyed the cabin where her husband still slept. "I envy your father, in situations like these. He just sleeps through the waiting. He told me once 'I might as well get as much rest as I can; chances are good I won't be sleeping a lot in the near future.'"

"It's a good point," Windstar said.

"Mm, yes, it is." The Herald glanced at her daughter with amused eyes. "You and me both, though, we stress over the future instead of waiting for it."

Windstar laughed and ruffled her hand through Mero's mane again. "Foresight. Damn it."

Elspeth chuckled. "Yes, Foresight. That, and we are more high stress than your father. And less patient."

"To the deepest of the nine hells with patience," Windstar growled. She wished the Foresight would shut up… She never woke this early voluntarily.

"Amen." Elspeth stretched her arms forward, popping her shoulders. Then she leaned back and kicked her legs out in front of her, resting on her elbows. "They tell me we'll be there by noon, so it's not too bad. I'm quite grateful for these ships of theirs."

Windstar nodded and sank down to sit on the deck next to her mother. Mero watched them both from his position near the railings. "I've been thinking we should build some for Valdemar," Windstar said, watching for her mother's reaction.

"Do you know how to build them, then?" Elspeth asked, her eyebrows flying upwards. "I would think the Kailinese would rather the flying ships stay their advantage."

Windstar shrugged. "There are some who would think that. Lystai and Empress Shikomi decided I should learn how to make them… Or at least, how to make them fly. I haven't a clue how to design a real ship."

"What do you mean, a 'real' ship?"

"Well, you see, there are ships, and then there are boats, and barges, and the like," she replied, stretching. "A ship like this one, or even more so, the Coi Serke, is designed especially for speed. They're utterly perfect for their purpose; to move quickly through the air. The people who design these are artists, Mama."

Elspeth nodded. "I'd noticed. These are nothing like the boats on Lake Evendim."

The younger mage shook her head. "No, they're nothing like those. The comparison would be like a child's treehouse to an ekele; alike only at the surface."

"That would explain why they would be willing to teach you, then. They still have the advantage, because they're better shipmasters."

"Yes, I suspect that was part of it. I think, though, that I could design a functional ship that would be fast enough."

"Oh?"

"I've been thinking about it, and I actually think I might be able to make something worth having. I certainly saw enough ships while I was in Kai-ling; inside and out. And they gave me some designs; though none for the fastest ships. Anyways, a good deal of learning is imitation."

Elspeth nodded and toyed with one of her curls. "That's true enough. You sound hesitant, though."

"Well, Mama, making a ship would require materials, which means money. I don't know how I'd justify the expense, when I'm not even sure it would work."

"Hmm…" Elspeth chewed on the hair thoughtfully. "They are certainly useful; no one could dispute that. I think you could justify the experiment, if you got a model you liked, first."

"Of course. I wouldn't just start from scratch. That'd be stupid."

"It would."

They lapsed into silence for a while; Elspeth chewed on her fingernails, Windstar stared into space. Neither of them were completely awake yet. Suddenly, Elspeth snapped her gaze back to Windstar with the air of someone who had almost fallen asleep, but had caught herself at the last moment.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Windstar twitched and came out of her half trance. "Err… I was thinking I should ask the Artificers for help with the ship. If anyone can design, they can."

"That's a great idea, actually. You'll have to find the ones who don't resent the Mages, though."

"Is that still a problem, then?" Windstar asked, sighing gustily.

"Yes. Less so than it was, and it's improved incredibly since before the Storms, but there are still those who resent us."

"I suppose that's understandable… Mages do make some problems totally irrelevant. Like heating, for example. Or lighting."

"Very true." Elspeth shifted to lie on her side. "It is a shame; imagine what we could do if the Mages and the Artificers worked together more often?"

"You already know how well that worked during the Storms. Also, think of what we know of the Eastern Empire from Tremane, and the Kailinese Islands, and the Kaled'a'in."

Elspeth nodded, her eyes serious. "I know, dearling. Just think how far we've come, though. Valdemar went from having no magic at all to having Herald-Mages, all in less than twenty years. All and all, I'm very proud."

Windstar nodded reluctantly. "I do think we could stand some improvement, though. I just feel like we have a lot of potential sitting around, not being used. When I think of what we could do…."

Elspeth's grin made Windstar blink and raise her eyebrows in a silent question. "So fix it," Elspeth said.

"What?"

"Fix it. You see a problem, do something about it. You certainly have the authority… Use it." Elspeth winked at her, then grinned again at the stunned look on her daughter's face.

"That might be a good idea…" Windstar muttered, staring into space again.

All she knew was pain. She felt like her head was going to explode, she hadn't eaten in who knows how long, and she was so thirsty her lips were cracking. Skyfire was so exhausted, she couldn't even think of a snide comment to make to herself.

Now what do I do? She wondered. Her vision had almost completely failed her; the forest swam together into a blur. She was so tired… She just wanted to curl up and go to sleep, but if she did that, Goddess only knew what would come after her. The forest was not a safe place to collapse.

Skyfire fell to her knees yet again, biting back a whimper. She had no idea how long she'd been walking, nor where she was. If she could just see, it would have been easier for her to get home.

Fighting the wave of hopelessness that threatened to overcome her, she tried to think of a new plan.

I could use Mindspeech… I don't know if I'm near enough for it to help.. But honestly, I'm running out of options. Working past the headache would be difficult, but what else was she going to do?

With a plan set out in front of her, Skyfire sat down on the forest floor and sank into the half-trance required of her if she wanted to do any serious Mindspeech. Her head pounded in time with her heart, the pain getting worse as she tapped into her Gifts, sending her mind out in search of another intelligent mind.

Just as her Gift was running out, she got a reply.

The creature Sent an inquiry at her. It was confused. :Who calls:

Skyfire was elated. :I call! Please, friend, I need your help:

:Friend: She didn't recognize the 'feeling' of the speaker.. It wasn't a human, dyheli, or hertasi…

:Yes. Friend. Please…: She could feel herself losing her grip on the Gift; her last chance was slipping away because this creature didn't understand her!

:I come. Wait, friend.: The contact was broken; Skyfire could only hope that whoever, whatever it was, it could find and help her, and soon.

She tried to stand, to start walking again, but found her legs were too weak to carry her any further. She groaned and crawled until she found a tree to lean against, and waited.

I hope it's fast, whatever it is…

:Friend: She twitched tiredly. Apparently it was fast.

:Yes.. Friend. Help me:

She Felt the creature's presence moving towards her; when it was almost on top of her, she recognized it as a bird. A bondbird.

Before she had time to fully process that a bondbird had come to help her, she felt a huge rush of air in front of her as the bird landed. He must be huge, she thought as her hair was blown from her face. A hooked beak easily as long as her hand ruffled through her hair.

:Friend. You hurt: The bird was preening her hair; she felt oddly comforted by the caring gesture.

:Yes. Hurt, and lost…:

:Lost? Lost eyas fallen from nest.:

:I suppose you could put it that way: she muttered, wishing bondbirds were better known for their problem solving skills.

:Find nestmates for you, I can. Other birds, with friends. I find, bring them to you. You stay.:

Be careful what you wish for… Skyfire thought to herself, impressed that he bird had come up with that plan on its own. She should have thought of that… She wished she could see the bird, but her eyes weren't working.

"Okay," she whispered through cracked lips, hoping the bird could understand spoken speech as well. She was too tired for Mindspeech…

Skyfire felt the bird's beak close on her collar. It tugged insistently. :Follow. I will take you to safe place, you stay there, I find friends. Come.: The girl crawled along, trusting the bird to keep her safe. At the bird's direction, she crawled into a hollow in the roots of a tree.

:Stay. I bring friends. Stay.:

As if she could do anything else… Skyfire felt her eyesight dim completely, and she slumped to the ground, drifting in and out.

Darian frowned and ran his hands through his hair for the thousandth time. :Have you found any trace of them, Tyrsell: He asked, hoping the dyheli knew something he didn't.

:Not in the last five minutes, no: the king stag replied, without any of the sarcasm he could have added.

Darian sent an inquiry to Kuari, who also sent a negative. There was no trace of Firesong and his daughter. They had completely disappeared.

Kuari's surprised and startled call shocked Darian out of his brooding.

:Stranger: Kuari elaborated. :New bird, needs help.:

Darian frowned. Should he really take time off the search to help an unknown bondbird?

:You help! Kilara's friend needs help: Friend? Not bondmate? That was odd… The "friend" in that call came with a feeling of human, but did bondbirds make human friends?

Kuari flew in and landed on a branch next to Darian's shoulder. The huge bird stared into the forest, waiting for the mystery 'Kilara'.

Darian had seen a bond eagle once, when he came to k'Vala for the first time. He stared as Kilara swooped through the trees. This bird was even larger than the blacksmith's bird had been! Her deep black and gold feathers shown in the sunlight, and Darian couldn't help but smile in appreciation of the beautiful bird.

:You! You help friend: The eagle's voice sang clearly in his mind, startling him again. Kuari voice rarely sounded so clearly. Kilara backwinged hard, landing on a branch that brought her head level with Darian's.

:Little friend needs help, is hurt! She is scared. Led her to safe place, but still dangerous: The bird's concern for her "little friend" was so consuming, Darian felt it even though he wasn't bonded to the eagle.

:Is it possible this "little friend" is Skyfire, Darian: Tyrsell asked. The stag glided into the clearing where he stood and looked directly into Kilara's eyes.

:What does your friend look like: The dyheli asked. Darian wasn't sure she'd be able to answer, but it was worth a try…

He eyes widened as an image of Skyfire was pushed into his mind. A tattered, exhausted, and dirty Skyfire. Darian sent a Mindcall for help to the two scouts in either direction; there was no way he'd go out into possibly hostile forest without backup.

Tyrsell walked closer to allow him to mount as Kuari launched himself into the air. He turned to look into the eagle's intelligent eyes.

:Lead the way, Kilara: he told her. The eagle gave a triumphant cry and threw herself into the air.

In a moment of semi-consciousness, Skyfire hoped that Kilara would return soon. It was almost worst, knowing help was coming and having to wait, then having no hope of help coming at all.

She slipped in and out, her headache so all consuming that she had no idea whether a minute or a day had passed. It could have been either…

Suddenly, the bird was back.

:I come: She crowed into Skyfire's mind, making the girl wince. :Brought friends, hawk friends: Skyfire came almost completely conscious at that, finding the will to drag herself partially out of the hollow to make herself more visible.

"Skyfire!" She knew that voice… Darian ran towards the girl half hidden by one of the forest giants, Tyrsell and Wintersky right behind him. He fell to his knees next to the girl, Kilara landing near him to mantle protectively over her.

"Skyfire?" He asked, turning her onto her back gently. "Skyfire, are you alright?" She looked like death warmed over, and judging by her unfocused eyes, she couldn't see much.

"I've… been better… Big brother…" She croaked, giving up on trying to see him and closing her eyes. "Can… we… Go home, please?"

"Yes," Darian said shortly, eying the eagle glaring at him over Skyfire's prone body.

:I'm going to pick her up: he told the eagle, not liking how she was glaring at him. :It may hurt her, but we have to get her home.:

The bird eyed him carefully, considering his words. :Home. Good.: She said finally. :Go now.:

Well, if that wasn't an order, he didn't know what was. Carefully working his arms under the girl, he lifted her as gently as he could and mounted Tyrsell, who had knelt down to make things as easy for the girl as possible.

:Should I go slowly, or quickly, so we may get her to the Healers more quickly: The stag asked.

Darian sighed and hugged the girl closer to his body, cradling her head so she wouldn't be jostled too much. :Quickly, my friend… I think she needs help more than she needs to be cosseted, right now.:

The stag nodded and leapt into a ground eating lope, which was thankfully less teeth rattling than his gallop.

"We'll be home soon, Skyfire… You're safe now." The only reply he got was a whimper.

Silverfox stood quietly outside Keisha's sickroom. Skyfire had been completely unconscious by the time Darian had gotten her back to the Vale. Keisha had immediately put her to bed and started Healing the most obvious of her injuries. She'd had two broken ribs, a sprained ankle, and several cuts on the back of her head.

She'd also had a concussion. That injury had been the most severe, and was still the most worrying.

Children often started developing Gifts at Skyfire's age; any trauma made that development all the more likely. In fact, trauma often caused Gifts to develop suddenly and explosively, to their fullest possible potential.

Starfall believed that Skyfire's channels had been forced open by the concussion. What her Gifts were remained to be seen; she'd inherited huge amounts and varied types of potential from Firesong.

Silverfox sighed deeply and put his head in his hands. The damage caused by channels opening under trauma like Skyfire's had could only be Healed by a Healing Adept. Darian had never had to Heal human magical injuries, and Keisha had said he shouldn't try, not yet. There was still no trace of Firesong.

He raised his head only when Aya flapped onto the bench next to him, radiating sadness and worry. He hadn't yet collapsed, which meant Firesong was still alive… But Aya couldn't find Firesong, even with Silverfox's help. The firebird cuddled into Silverfox's side, crooning quietly. He stroked the bird's feathers as he stared into space, waiting for Keisha to come out of her Healing trance and let others back into the room. She'd forbidden anyone to enter while she was Healing Skyfire; not harming the charred channels any further would require all her concentration, and distractions could seriously harm the girl.

Starfall came into the clearing and sat down next to Silverfox. The older man clasped the kestra'chern's shoulder, lending his silent support. The younger man leaned into Starfall's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Firesong?" Silverfox asked quietly.

Starfall shook his head. "Still no trace of him… Perhaps Skyfire will be able to tell us something."

Silverfox nodded and continued stroking Aya's feathers. His thoughts turned back to Skyfire; she'd looked horrible when Darian had carried her in… And she hadn't been alone.

The huge black eagle perched in the trees just above them hadn't left her spot since Keisha had started the Healing. She'd displayed none of the shiftiness typical of raptors… They generally did not take well to waiting. The fact that she had not left told the Tayledras that she had bonded to the young girl, though the bond likely had not fully taken root yet; Skyfire had been too delirious to recognize it.

They stood together in silence, waiting. Silverfox didn't know how long they waited before Darian ran up to them.

Starfall looked up from the ground towards Darian, surprised. "Darian?" he asked.

"Darkwind, Elspeth, and Windstar are here," he said without preamble.

Silverfox's head came up at that. "What? Why?"

Darian shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know. But they're here. Windstar wants to know if she can help Keisha."

"Is she a Healer?"

"Healing Adept. She thinks she can help."

"Please," a female voice said. Windstar walked into the clearing, her face sympathetic. "I think this is why I needed to be here."

Starfall's brows furrowed. "Needed to be here?"

The young woman nodded. "Foresight… My mother and I both felt a need to be here."

Silverfox nodded silently. "If Keisha will have you, I can't see what harm it will do…"

Windstar gave Silverfox a tiny, reassuring smile, and went to the door of the Healing room. It seemed she sent a mental inquiry to Keisha, because a few moments later, the door opened and Windstar went into the room.

The men outside went back to waiting, and hoping…

A shriek of utter fury echoed through the halls, raising the hair on the back of Firesong's neck. He shuddered, praying that whatever had caused the outburst, it didn't concern Skyfire or himself.

It seemed his goddess wasn't listening to prayers right now, as the door blew open and Icestorm strode in, hell in his eyes.

"Icestorm," Firesong croaked, knowing peace making attempts were hopeless, but trying anyways. He held out his hands in a feeble attempt to calm the other man.

It didn't work. He'd never seen the other mage in a silent rage like this one…

As pain roared through his body, he realized he never wanted to again. For the first time since he'd been captured, Firesong screamed.