Part Four

"Okay, Pheebs," Piper held her sister's limp hand, "it's been two hours since the anesthesia wore off. It's time to wake up."

"The doctor can't explain it," Victor told her. He stood at the foot of Phoebe's hospital bed and wished his youngest daughter didn't seem quite so pale or still. "There's no physical reason why she hasn't woken up."

"Cole," Paige murmured from her spot at Phoebe's other side. She suspected Phoebe was in limbo with him. "But," she brushed some strands of hair behind Phoebe's ear and leaned forward to whisper, "you don't belong with him now. Come back to us."

Piper squeezed Phoebe's hand, "He loves you, Phoebe, but he wants you to live. He wants you to live and be happy. You have to wake u--"

Her sister's words suddenly registered and Paige sat up straight and interrupted, "What d'you mean he loves her? How d'you know that?"

"Everything he did to help me and Leo was really his way of getting through to Phoebe," Piper explained.

"You said Cole helped you make sure you and Leo found your way back to each other," Victor commented. "You didn't say anything about him doing it for Phoebe."

"I was afraid of mentioning that part," Piper sheepishly confessed. They both stared back at her in surprise and she sighed, "I was afraid if Phoebe knew he still loved her, it'd confuse her even more and that she wouldn't be able to move on. And I certainly didn't want her thinking that he was still here trying to manipulate her life."

"Isn't that what he did?" Paige frowned.

"But not in a bad way," Piper offered. "He really does love her, Paige, even if he didn't say it in so many words. And he seems genuinely regretful of the mistakes he's made."

"So killing innocents is reduced to a simple mistake now?" Paige glared.

"Cole's in limbo for eternity," Piper sternly told her youngest sister. "That's the price for what he's done and he's accepted it. You should too."

But Paige was still leery, "You only have his word for that. You said he's accepted his fate, fine. But how do we know he didn't orchestrate this just so Phoebe could join him there so they'd be together for eternity?"

"Because he loves her and wants her to live," Piper repeated. "You should've seen his face when she stared straight at us. But he didn't do a thing to talk to her, to touch her. He didn't even give me any messages for her. He wants her to move on and be happy. I believe him and I'm asking you to, for Phoebe's sake if nothing else."

"I want her to be happy too," Paige commented in a slightly defensive tone before softly adding, "I'm just scared of losing her to evil."

"I know, sweetie," Piper acknowledged with a sad smile, "but believe me when I say that I think all the bad times with Cole really are a thing of the past."

Victor approached Piper's side of the bed and kissed his daughter on the top of her head, "I'm relieved to hear that and I'm sure Phoebe will be too but you still should've told her the truth from the start."

"I know," Piper looked up to her father, "and I swear I'll tell her everything when she wakes up." She glanced down at her sister, "So you'd better wake up, you hear me, missy? I want my sister back even if it's to yell at me and tell me what a rotten older sister I am."

"You're not a rotten older sister," Paige emphatically told her as Piper leaned against her father and wrapped her arms around his waist, "but you may be in hot water for a while."

888888888888888888888888888

Phoebe pulled Cole's arm tighter around her waist and snuggled back against him. The late afternoon sun cast a golden glow as its beams poured in through the bedroom's large picture window and she sighed contentedly. Wrapped in his arms under the silk sheets, she felt as if she were in heaven. In a whisper, she asked, "How is this even possible?"

"Go to sleep, Phoebe," he murmured, leaning forward slightly to kiss her ear.

"But..."

"Later," he promised as he settled back and closed his eyes.

"Don't tell me I've worn you out," she teased softly. "Maybe you really have changed."

"I'm not the same as I was before," he quietly agreed.

Surprised by the seriousness of his tone, she twisted slightly to look at him and propped herself up on her elbow, "Cole? What's wrong?"

He opened his eyes and was taken aback by the genuine concern he saw reflected in her eyes. "You really are worried."

"Is that a question?" she asked in confusion.

He smiled warmly, "An observation." He lightly kissed the tip of her nose and added, "We'll talk later."

Though not completely satisfied by his response, Phoebe still lay down, using his chest as her pillow. His arm draped itself around her and she snuggled closer. "Maybe things are different here," she sighed as she closed her eyes. "I do feel wiped. Or maybe we just needed to expend a bit more energy than usual." But Cole didn't comment on her tease and before she could open her eyes she felt herself being pulled away and she cried out for him.

888888888888888888888888888

Paige jumped from her chair and rushed to Phoebe's side the instant she heard Phoebe's gasp for breath. "We're here, Pheebs, everything's gonna be okay."

Just as Piper joined them, Phoebe's eyes popped open and Piper tried to calm her sister, "It's okay, you're in the hospital. You're gonna be fine."

But Phoebe kept scanning the room and panic was beginning to rise. Cole wasn't there. She didn't see him and her throat was so raw that she could barely hear her own voice call his name.

Paige glanced at Piper in concern and told her other sister, "Cole's not here, sweetie. It's just us and your dad. You were hurt in the park but you're gonna be okay."

Phoebe struggled under the arms holding her down. She had to get back to Cole. She had to…

"Phoebe, please…" Paige had already pressed the call button and was trying not to freak out from Phoebe's terrified reaction. "You're safe here. You're gonna be okay."

"It's as if she doesn't even see us," Piper worried.

"Piper…" Paige whispered helplessly as Phoebe suddenly began to wheeze. "Where's that nurse?"

"Leo!" Piper whispered loudly to the ceiling as Phoebe's monitors began to beep wildly. But she suddenly realized that Leo couldn't hear her, that he'd never be able to hear her call again. "Paige, do something!"

"Me?" Paige gasped. "You know I don't have the power to heal, not without Leo."Though it had already been a few weeks,it finally sank in what it meant that Leo was now mortal. "Hang in there, Phoebe," she desperately encouraged just asthe nurse came running in.

"You need to leave," the older womanordered the sisters just as a doctor entered in a rush. "Now!"

888888888888888888888888888

Cole opened his eyes and stretched before he realized he was alone in bed. He sat with a start and glanced around. With a heavy heart, he accepted Phoebe's choice. It was what he'd wanted, he reminded himself. Getting up, he grabbed a black silk robe and slipped into it. He strode to the picture window and gazed down at the city below. Tightening the belt, he said, "Be happy, Phoebe."

"Why is that so important to you?"

Cole spun at the sound of her voice and found her standing in the doorway wrapped in the matching robe he'd created for her earlier. "You shouldn't be here," was all he said.

"So you told me before," she shrugged. "You also said we'd talk."

He turned back to the window, "You're running out of time, Phoebe. You have to go back."

"I was back," she informed him. "And it was a rather painful experience. Now you owe me a talk and I aim to collect."

"And you called me stubborn." He faced her again and nodded, "But you're right, I owe you a talk. So ask away, whatever you want. I've got nothing to hide."

Phoebe entered the room, sat on the bed, and gazed back at him, "Why do you care?"

"Because I love you," he smiled. "The good, the bad, I love the whole package that is Phoebe Halliwell."

She shook her head, "There's got to be more to it than that."

"Why? Isn't that reason enough? I'm seeing everything clearly now, Phoebe," he explained. "I'm not obsessed with you and I'm not trying to manipulate you in any way."

"Except that you nearly kill Piper in order to get me here," she snapped.

"Piper needed a good shove to get her to see what she was about to lose," he argued, "and if she didn't tell you everything, that's her fault. And I had absolutely nothing to do with your getting shot. That was pure stupidity entirely on your part."

She let the insult pass and considered, "Let's say I believe you. You're trying to save me from this limbo you're in. Why are you so sure it's my fate?"

"Because I've watched you," he warily replied. "I've seen how you've reacted to other men since I…left. And I've seen how each of those relationships ended. You weren't honest with them or with yourself so while you were reaching out to them, your heart was still closing itself off, little by little. Don't be afraid of being who you are, Phoebe, or of wanting love or a family. It's waiting for you if you open yourself to the possibility."

Determined not to let him see how shaken she was by his surprisingly accurate evaluation, she remarked, "Still doesn't explain why you're so sure I'd end up here."

Cole knelt before her and took her hand in his. Pressing it to his lips, he told her, "Because here is where the lost end up. And unless there's some force to guide them back, here is where they stay."

With her free hand, Phoebe caressed his cheek, "You seem to have found your way. Why can't you leave?" She then encouraged him to sit next to her. But when he stood and paced back to the window, keeping his back to her, she repeated, "Why can't you leave?"

He stared at her via her reflection in the glass, "I'm the force, Phoebe."

"I'm not sure I understand," she said in a shaky voice. But a part of her was afraid she did understand.

"My human soul saved me again," he quietly announced as he recalled the painful time that seemed like an eternity ago. "Only there was no Wasteland awaiting me, there was this," he spread his hands apart. "It was empty and dark which fit my state of mind at the time. I was alone with nothing but the memories of my life."

"Cole…" she murmured but she couldn't bring herself to move from her spot on the bed.

"There's no real sense of time here so I'm not sure how long it was before I was approached," he continued. "She explained that I was lost and needed to resolve some of the conflicts of my life before I could move on."

"She?"

Cole shrugged, "She never told me her name and I didn't have reason to know. But she was here for a long time and showed me that I needed to confront actions I'd taken in my life and accept responsibility for the consequences."

The words slipped out before Phoebe even realized it, "Not everything was your fault."

"For that alone," he slowly turned around, "I know now I made the right choice. Thank you."

Confused, she finally stood and approached him, "I'm not sure I understand. You're here by choice?"

Cole nodded, "Once I was able to look a good look at myself, an objective look, and accept what I'd done and everything that had happened, I felt as if a huge weight was gone, a weight I hadn't even realized I'd been carrying. All the darkness disappeared and everything turned bright. It was as if a whole world suddenly opened to me and I was given a choice. I could either move on to whatever the afterlife had in store for me or I could stay in this realm and take over for the one who guided me by doing the same for others."

"It can't be easy being a guide," she realized. "You probably have to relieve a lot of painful memories using them as examples. And you have to deal with the darkness and confusion of others."

"At times," he acknowledged. "What other insight have you discovered?"

"That this's also a very lonely existence," she replied thoughtfully, "without any real companionship or friendship. I don't understand. Why wouldn't you have chosen to move on? Don't you deserve some peace?"

"A part of me was afraid of what was in store for me," he truthfully admitted, "and I didn't want to risk ending up down there again. Besides, I thought if I could help other souls resolve the conflicts of their lives, it might make up for some of the evil I'd done in my life."

"But you're alone," Phoebe wistfully commented. "How can this be enough for you? To spend a moment in the real world while you're waiting for the next lost soul to arrive? What kind of -- me? You think I'm a lost soul?"

"You wouldn't have ended up in this realm if you weren't," he somberly informed her.

"And convincing me to love again will save me?" she wondered.

Cole pulled her into his arms and held her for a moment before he replied, "I hope so. Because, when it is your time, I want your soul to go where it belongs, where there are others waiting for you, others you've been waiting to see."

"What if this is where I belong?" she asked as she stepped out from his arms. "You're guiding lost souls. That's something good, Cole, so why do you insist this's a horrible fate for me?"

"The souls who cross into this realm don't always choose the happy ending," he cautioned her. "Sometimes they return to the world without having resolved anything, ending their lives with conflict and despair. And sometimes even that isn't a solution for them. Sometimes, they remain lost. I've kept you from seeing that aspect but they're here, Phoebe, the lost ones who roam helplessly and aimlessly with nothing but their memories to console them or haunt them for eternity. And to me, now, that's a failure of sorts and it weighs on me. I know you, Phoebe, and I know how important it is for you to help others and I don't want you to share the same burden when you haven't been able to help."

She couldn't control a shiver and glanced around. "I could help you," she declared as she focused on him again.

"You already have," he assured her. "Honey, don't you see? I'd never have made it this far if it hadn't been for you."

"Right," she drawled as she turned from him, "vanquishing you and losing faith in you really helped."

Ignoring her sarcasm, he told her, "It did in a way because it forced me to look at the why. And once I could acknowledge and accept the why, I was able to move on." Cole stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, "But I was actually talking about your love." He gently turned her around, "I'm talking about the way you opened my eyes and my heart. You reminded me of the humanity that had been locked away deep inside me. You showed me how good it could feel to help someone, to care for someone. You taught me about love."

She couldn't meet his gaze, "A lot of good it did."

"I was bound to make mistakes," he acknowledged, "but you laid the foundation for me. I've learned from my mistakes and I'm atoning for them. And the love you gave me, the love I feel for you, it's what keeps me going. It's what keeps me on track and helps me help others."

Phoebe finally looked up to him with tears in her eyes, "It hurts."

"I know," he nodded as he brushed away a tear that trickled down her cheek. "But I'm still grateful just the same."

"Staying here," she decided, "would let me atone for my mistakes. It would give me a purpose."

"You have a purpose," he stated with concern. He didn't want her to turn this around on him. "This isn't a game, Phoebe. You can't come and go as you please."

"You said you can spend time in the real world."

"In a limited capacity," he explained. "Using powers the way I did for you, here, requires energy."

"You seem fine now," she shrugged.

"But how many souls might I miss while I'm out cold restoring my energy level?" He smiled sadly, "This is exactly what you tried to teach me about there being a greater good."

"This is goodbye, isn't it," she hoarsely realized.

Cole held her tightly and kissed the top of her head before quietly agreeing, "It is."

888888888888888888888888888