Standing outside her door, Luka drummed his fingers against the doorjamb as he waited for her to answer his knock.

He couldn't believe she was leaving. Living without her, not seeing her at all, not being able keep a watchful eye over her... those thoughts scared him beyond belief and he was shaken, again, by much he had come to depend on seeing her.

The past week had been hell for him. And knowing that she had not shown up to any of her shifts had scared him.

He straightened when he saw the door open before him and he took in her appearance, shocked.

Her normally buoyant, blonde curls were straight, her left eye partially covered by a chunk of hair that now held more brown than blonde. He saw her freeze and he knew that his face held the same look of shock, fear and hope that she had.

"You changed your hair?" He asked the first thing that came to his head and he had to push his hand out to stop the door from closing as she attempted to slam it.

He pushed it open and stepped into her apartment, looking around at the barren shelves surrounding him and saw four suitcases piled up in front of the sofa, with cardboard boxes gathered at the sides.

"What are you doing, Sam?" He asked as he turned back to her and saw that she was watching him, her hand on her hip.

He saw her raise her eyebrow at him then look away towards where his eyes had been.

"I'm leaving."

Talk about stating the blindingly obvious.

"Why?"

She scoffed and snapped her head back towards him.

"There's nothing to keep me here," she told him truthfully and he could hear the hurt in her voice.

He winced at the knowledge that he had caused it and bit his lip. He felt a drop of water fall from his rain soaked hair and trickle down the side of his eye and he reached up to wipe it away.

"Is Steve going with you?" He saw her shake her head and he closed his eyes. "You broke up with him?" She nodded once he had opened his eyes and he looked away again. "Why?"

"Things weren't working out," she replied quickly, harshly and moved past him towards her bedroom.

He stayed, rooted for a second then followed her and saw her toss numerous objects into yet another box.

"Sam..."

She turned to him at his use of her name and tried to ignore the gentleness his tone held, the same as when he had said her name before.

"It's going to be easier this way, for both of us..." she felt her voice thicken and she blinked back tears and turned away from him.

"Running away isn't the answer, Sam," he said and she heard the genuine fear his tone held.

He looked like hell, she noted as she glanced quickly at him one more time.

"I'm not running away," she snapped at him and he raised his eyebrow, his back straightening, heightening him.

"Really?" He motioned around the room with his hands. "That's what it looks like to me, Sam."

Sam lowered her head, raising her eyes to him and pushed her tongue into her cheek to stop from snapping back at him instantly. She raised her eyes to his and stared hard into the dark azure abyss.

"I can't be running away. I have nothing to run away from."

She saw him flinch and, internally, she flinched, feeling the bite of her words herself.

"I can't let you just walk away, Sam."

"You were the one who walked away, Luka. Remember?" She waited for him to nod. "I have never felt so empty in my life, Luka. Do you really want to know why I left Steve?" She waited for him to nod again. "Because I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't let him have this shell of a person. He deserves so much more than that. A shell, Luka. That's all I am. Because of you. You."

She saw that he was struggling, his lips continually drawing in between his teeth, his eyes not meeting hers and flicking around the bedroom.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Sam. But if we had kept going on the way we were, we would have hurt each other more than this," he said and motioned between them.

Sam felt tears jump to her eyes again and she blinked furiously, trying to rid herself of them.

"I don't think anything can hurt more than this..." she muttered and he closed his eyes for a second, against the truthful tone in her voice, against the plain pain on her features.

Opening his eyes again, he walked cautiously towards her, reaching his hand out to her and then paused.

She watched his eyes for a moment, and then slid her teary vision down his body, down his long arm until she reached his fingertips. Her arm, which up until that point had been limp at her side, rose and she brushed her fingers over his. He could feel the slight jolt of electricity that shivered its well-worn track around his body, he could feel her eyes studying him and knew that she could feel his doing the same to her. He reached his hand up a centimetre or two until his fingers touched hers once more and intertwined them with hers, then he tugged gently but firmly until he felt her body pressed fully against his, chest to chest, leg to leg.

He held her to him, pressing his chin into her hair, letting her know that he was there, that he was feeling the same pain as him. She wasn't openly crying but he knew her well enough to know that she needed to be held. By him and only him. Letting her go was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do - and to let her leave the city... he wasn't sure how he would cope with that little twist of fate.

He tried not to think about how utterly intimate this whole situation was as his fingers slid under the rim of her thin jumper - tried to tell himself that it was oh-so-wrong that his hands were moving further and further up her back, that it was wrong to be leaning into her lips and urging her to part hers with his tongue. He felt her hands move from his stomach: one went under his shirt at the front and began tracing swirls up his body, the other moved to the back of his neck and she pulled him further down into her. His hand that had been resting on her waist slid up the side of her body, over her hip, the dip where her hip ended and then tracing over her breast until he reached her neck. He pressed his palm flat to her cheek for a few seconds before pushing his hand into her hair; pulling it down from the 'up-do' she had had it in and angling her head differently to allow him better access to her mouth. His other hand continued to hold her body to his whilst scratching lightly at her skin. He felt her shiver against his body and didn't know whether it was from crying or another, more appealing, source. He felt her running her hand down his back to his waistline and fully un-tucking his shirt from his trousers. He felt the coldness of her fingertips burning through his skin and he moaned slightly into her mouth. He felt her smile under his lips and he himself grinned, before pulling back only long enough for her to tug his shirt over his head, not bothering with the buttons up the front.

He held her eyes and noticed the familiar look of passion filling them: the dark, dark colour of her irises; the deep flush covering her cheeks and the way she kept glancing between his eyes and mouth. He leaned forward for only a second, brushing his lips quickly over hers, before pulling his hand out from under her top and pulling her even closer to him. He placed butterfly kisses on her neck and felt her ragged breath brush past the hairs at the side of his ear.

He smiled onto her skin.

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back

She held her breath as he traced her collarbone with his lips and tongue, leaving no centimetre of skin undiscovered. She could feel his hard chest pressed firmly against hers and knew that as soon as he stepped back her knees would give way and she would land in a heap at his feet. It was always the same. She tilted her neck slightly to allow him better access and felt, rather than heard him laugh lightly against her goose pimpled skin.

She couldn't handle anymore of this.

As soon as the thought entered her mind, she felt him pull back and was momentarily confused until she felt and saw him tug her thin sweater over her head. She felt his eyes roaming her body and smiled as she studied his and saw that he was as affected by their encounter as she was. She reached her hand out and traced her nails delicately across his abdomen and saw the slight contraction as she found the weak spot there, just over his hip bone. Her fingers continued their trek to his shoulder, then down his arm. When she reached his fingers, she did not clasp them like he expected but instead lifted his hand and placed each finger separately into her mouth, continually looking at him as she did so. She watched as he closed his eyes and saw his body sway backwards as he tried to regulate his breathing. When he opened his eyes again, she saw that his pupils had doubled in size and that he wanted her.

He reached out to her now exposed waistline and pulled her back to him once more, using the belt hoop of her denims. His index finger and middle finger fingers stepped up her abdomen until he reached the swell of her breast. He fumbled with the clasp of her bra, which was at the front of her black lace garment - it was the same one that she had worn on their first encounter, only in black.

Ironic...

His other hand dragged lightly up and down her back, pulling her closer and closer to him. He traced the outline of her lacy bra and she could feel a deep hollow feeling forming in the very pit of her stomach. Finally, he unclipped it and pushed it gently over her shoulders and she heard the dull thud as it hit the ground somewhere behind her. She felt entirely exposed and vulnerable standing in front of him, half naked. But then he kissed her jaw-line with feather light kisses and caressed her breast, rubbing at the already erect nipple and she felt something entirely different.

Everything I know has let me down
So I will just let go
Let you turn me inside out
'Cause I know I'm not sure
'bout anything
But you wouldn't have it any other way

He shuffled his feet and manoeuvred both their bodies further into her bedroom whilst not removing his lips from her neck. He reached a chest of drawers in the corner and pushed her up against it as he fumbled around it. His actions were made only jerkier as she slipped her hand into the waistband of his trousers and she arched her back, urging her pelvis closer to his throbbing erection. He groaned and his head fell to her shoulder as she darted her tongue over his collarbone, sending even more blood rushing to his pulsating arousal. He manoeuvred around it and they stumbled through the room, only managing to not fall on the floor because the bed beat them to it. As they fell, he cushioned most of the fall on his elbows, ensuring that he did not squash her to death in the process of making love to her. For the last time.

He gulped down the lump that jumped into his throat at the thought.

He sat up on his elbows and stared down at her; seeing that her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted as she tried to breathe in as much oxygen as possible. He traced an almost evanescent line down her jaw and around her eyes and was quite content to watch her pleasure all night, to re-memorise every line of her beautiful face. A face that, in his mind, would never grow old.

Forever young
I hope you stay
Forever young
Do-do-do-do

She, however, had different ideas. Before he knew what was happening, he was on his back and she was straddling his hips, leaning forward slightly so that her breasts were in line with his face. Her jean-clad knees braced her weight as they rested against his naked waist. He felt her wiggle her hips suggestively and ignorantly against him and he felt his head fall further back into the mattress. With his closed eyes, he could not see her approach and so was pleasantly surprised when he felt her lips on his, but only for a few seconds and then they were gone again. He didn't have to wait long though, as he felt them once again but on his right nipple. He ground his hips upwards towards her and groaned into the charged air around them.

Her hands were everywhere: In his hair; on his stomach; on the buckle of his belt; on the buttons of his pants. Her body shimmied down his and her toned stomach grazed over his erection sending colours through his brain that only arousal could conjure up.

She always knew exactly what to do and when to do it.

But he had to slow it down or he wasn't going to last. So, mustering every ounce of will power he had, he threw her body off of him and flipped their positions. She was grinning evilly at him from her place on the large bed. Her slightly parted lips were pulsating from their heated kisses, her breasts were swollen from being fondled, her legs splayed slightly indicating that she was ready for him.

He leaned forward and traced his tongue over her lips before pulling fully away and standing at the foot of the bed staring at her lithe form. It took her only a few seconds to realise that his weight was no longer pressing down on top of her. She opened her eyes and drew her lips into a pout and stared at him with hazy eyes. He smiled broadly at her as she lifted her fingers to her navel and began to trace the defined lines of her flat stomach. He could see she was struggling to keep her eyes open at the heightened sensations her own actions were having on her already heated body.

"Look at me," he commanded as her eyes drifted shut in pleasure as her nimble fingers made quick work of the button of her jeans. "Stop moving," he continued.

When she did finally stop moving and looked at him, he nodded and continued to appreciate her semi-naked body. He didn't know how he could ever forget her. Knew that he didn't want to. He already missed her. He already missed the athletic form of her body, that was fit and strong and had curves in all the right places. He could see her bosom rising and falling rapidly, indicating her lack of breath, similar to his own.

His eyes catalogued every curve of her breast, her neckline and when finally he reached her face, he could see her questioning eyes boring into his. He simply smiled and reached down to the already half-loosened belt on his trousers and pulled it fully free and pushed his trousers down, allowing them to fall to the floor and his boxers soon followed, revealing all his masculine beauty, while his eyes never left hers.

She sat up slowly, pushing up from her elbows until she was sitting at a ninety-degree angle. She slid forward until she sat at the edge of the bed, staring still into the deep abyss of his eyes. Expertly, she eased out of her trousers and slipped them – along with her panties – down her legs and over her feet. She reached her hand out and pulled his body closer to her, tilting her head further up so she could keep her connection with his eyes. Seductively lowering her eyes, she focussed on the fine line of hair from his button to his pubic area. She leaned forward slightly and placed feather-light kisses on those hairs, from his button to where his waistband would start, and then along the tan line he that never seemed to disappear. As she reached his hip bone, she darted out her tongue and danced it over the delicate area and she felt his hand on her head get firmer as he relished in the feelings she was provoking.

It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees...

He revelled in the experience for a few seconds longer, then gently pulled her head away from his body and kneeled down in front of her. He slid his hand up her inner thigh until his fingers brushed over her core. He glanced up at her and placed his tongue on the edge of his teeth.

She breathed in sharply in the knowledge of his next move. He inched his head further into the 'V' shape she had created with her legs and kissed every inch of her thighs. She no longer had the strength to hold herself up and so she fell unceremoniously onto the bed but did not move her legs. She gripped onto the covers beside her and bunched them in her hands. As his lips finally covered her throbbing bud she let out a loud moan of pleasure and wrapped her long legs around his neck, holding his head firmly in place.

His hands, which until that point had been decidedly idle, slid up the large expanse of her legs until they were tracing circles over her lower abdomen. He could hear her shallow breaths and knew that she was very close. Instead of pushing her over the edge, he slid his body up hers, using the advantage of her obvious pleasure to break free of the chokehold she had managed to maintain on his neck. He ensured that the head of his aching penis touched her opening then withdrew it and all that was touching her were his legs and one solitary finger as it traced her features.

"Now," she growled as she threw her legs around his hips and pulled him down into her.

He slid into her easily, feeling her muscles pulling him further and further in until he felt he would never make it back out. Wanting to never make it back out. They both let out moans of pleasure at the sensation of him filling her completely. She opened her eyes and stared directly into his as he began thrusting. He had initially thought of keeping a level pace but her hands on his butt and shoulders, squeezing gently, ensured that no such action would be appreciated. She thrust upwards, meeting his every deep, penetrating blow each time, heightening both of their pleasures.

He tried to concentrate on her face, on her noises but his fast approaching climax took over his mind and drove all thought of thinking from his mind. He barely heard her gasp the word "together" as he felt her muscles contract around him, as he followed her to a world that existed outwith the boundaries of reality. He heard her cry his name loudly, and he could hear his own voice calling hers as they knew each other for the last time. He could feel their hips grinding together painfully but he couldn't concentrate on that. All he could hear was her chants, her calls, her small gasps of pleasure as they both slowly came down from their high.

His head, which had dropped onto her shoulder at some point, turned further into her neck and he placed tired, wet kisses there. Her fingers were running through his hair, stroking it gently at the back, placing kisses onto his head, her chest and throat squeaking with unreleased tears.

He raised his head after another few moments, when he had his breath back. Her hair was stuck to her forehead with sweat and he reached up and brushed it away with his hand, attempting to control his own tears. Her eyes were still clouded but he could see her bittersweet contentment in them.

"That was…" She began, trying to dispel any awkwardness that might come over them.

He smiled somewhat arrogantly and nodded. "I know."

She smiled and pulled his head down for a slow, passionate kiss that spoke more than any words. When they broke apart, he saw her tears begin to flow again from her cheeks and he leaned down, pressing his lips to them, attempting to drink in her pain. He could feel his own emotions become a struggle within himself and he pressed his forehead to hers, screwing his eyes shut as he felt his lips tremble against hers.

Eventually, he leaned up and looked into her eyes.

"You know that I-" he began to speak but she cut him off.

"I know." She stared at him and nodded, biting down onto her lip.

"Yeah," he answered and looked at her for a few moments longer.

He slowly pulled back from her, pulling his body away from hers and slid his legs over the edge of the bed, searching for his pants and boxers.

"I never want to forget you, Sam..." He muttered as he stood to pull his trousers on and he heard her breath catch in her throat. "I don't want anything to tarnish my memories of you... of us."

He heard her laugh slightly and he turned to look at her.

"So... you're going to live a life of celibacy to ensure that?" She asked, smiling half-heartedly.

He stared into her sorrowed eyes and slowly nodded.

"If that's what it takes. This..." he motioned between them with his index finger. "Will never grow old, the memory of this... I... Volim te..." he muttered, knowing that she would never understand that he had spoken the words that she had attempted to stop him from saying earlier.

I had a dream
Strange it may seems
It was my perfect day
I hope you never grow old

She looked away from him and he continued pulling on his clothes and when he was fully dressed he turned back to her, leaned his head down and brushed his lips over hers.

"Goodbye, Sam."

"Bye, Luka..." he heard her mutter and he turned away from the tears, from his own tears, knowing that he would not be able to stop himself from kissing them away. She spoke to him when he reached the door. "Volim te... I love you, too..." he turned his head slightly, but still couldn't see her, knew that he couldn't. "I will always love you. Remember that."

Luka nodded slightly, stepped out of her bedroom and closed the door.

Broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how
To let you go
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

TBC