Part Five

Phoebe didn't move from his embrace and nuzzled his chest before asking, "Isn't there anything I can do for you?"

"Be happy."

She slapped his chest and broke free, "I've basically condemned you to this place and you tell me to be happy?"

"Let's get one thing straight," he demanded, trying to keep his voice down, "I'm here because I chose to be. It was my decision, not yours. This isn't about you, Phoebe."

She immediately hung her head, "You're right and I should never have implied otherwise. I guess I never expected you to be somewhere like this. In my better moments, I'd hoped you'd found peace."

"But I did," he revealed. "The loneliness is a price I'm willing to pay for the knowledge that I'm helping others. I don't feel torn between wanting, or needing, two polar opposites. There's no conflict for me anymore."

She gazed at him and whispered, "I think I envy you, the ability to be. Without apology, without hiding a part of yourself…Oh, Cole, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for so many things."

"As long one of them isn't that you fell in love with me…" he quietly said.

"No and don't ever think that!" She reached out and hugged him tightly, "I'll never be sorry I love you, Cole. Never. Even when I was so angry that I couldn't see straight, even when it hurt so much that I thought I'd never recover, I never stopped loving you. But it was like this vicious cycle where I was angry because I loved you but the thought of regretting that love made me angry too."

"So instead you buried all the good feelings," he chided, "and that's not healthy. It's what's kept you from moving on. Promise me you'll do better next time."

Phoebe chuckled but it sounded more like a strangled sob, "How many more next times are there before I don't lose the man I choose to love?"

Cole kissed the top of her head, "You will find happiness. With someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved and will give you the family you want."

She tightened her arms around him, "I'm scared."

"You're the strongest woman I know," he sincerely replied. "Don't let my love for you destroy you. Embrace it, Phoebe, accept it. Use it to guide you. You know what love is, you know how powerful it is, find it again. Search it out and hold onto it. Trust in love. Believe in it."

"It's too late," she murmured.

"It's never too late," he smiled. "Believe me on that."

"Sounds like you know something," she mused. "Cole?"

"I can't predict the future," he commented before kissing her. "But I know you and I know what it's like to love you. Others felt this way before me, others will feel this way after me."

"But none will make me feel like the way I feel for you," she murmured with her lips barely touching his. After another sweet slow kiss, she assured him, "And it wasn't all bad, Cole. You brought me some of the best, the happiest, the most wonderful times of my life."

As they parted, he simply said, "Thank you."

Phoebe smiled before she turned from him and faced the window. As she stared at the view, she couldn't help but admit, "I still feel like I've failed you."

He quickly spun her around, bent his head, and kissed her fiercely. "You haven't failed me! I'm where I need to be because of you. The only one failing," his voice tinged with defeat, "will be me if you don't decide to go back and live out your life with love."

Phoebe clung to him, "You didn't fail. I know I have to go back. I just wish…"

"Me too," he told her in a voice choked with emotion. She'd made her choice and it was time for her to leave. And it would take all his strength to let her go.

She didn't know how but she sensed she was out of time and squeezed him even tighter, "You've no idea how much I will miss you and what we could've had."

"No more than I'll miss you," he replied after kissing her again. "I love you, Phoebe, and nothing will ever change that."

"Thank you," she whispered as she smiled through her tear-filled eyes. She reached up to caress his cheek and gazed into his eyes, "I love you, Cole, believe me on that. I love you, the good the bad, the whole package that is Cole Turner."

He smiled at her use of his own words and kissed her forehead, "Be happy, Phoebe."

His lips still pressed to her skin, she nodded slightly. But she suddenly felt herself being pulled away and she desperately cried out, "I'll see you again, I promise."

Cole managed to get in one last kiss before she disappeared from his arms. "Not for a long time, Phoebe, if even then." He turned to the window and, once again, wished, "Be happy…"

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Phoebe's eyes snapped open and, unable to move, she glanced wildly around her. It hurt to swallow and she spotted a pitcher on the table at the foot of her bed. She squinted and realized that her father sat slumped in the chair nearby. "Dad?"

Victor jumped the instant he heard his name and he rushed to Phoebe's side, hovering over her. "It's okay, sweetheart, you're in the hospital."

"Shot…" she croaked.

"But you'll be okay," he clenched her hand, "you'll be just fine."

"Sorry…didn't mean…" She wanted to tell him more but her eyes felt so heavy and she couldn't keep them open. "Love you, Daddy…"

Victor kissed her forehead, "Love you, too, sweetheart…" He watched anxiously as her breathing settled into a normal rhythm for sleep and he sat down on the edge of her bed, giving her hand another squeeze. He glanced up at the ceiling and thanked all of her guardian angels for bringing her back. "Sleep, Phoebe," he softly encouraged. "Daddy's right here."

"Dad?"

He twisted slightly to find Piper standing in the doorway and he smiled, "She woke up."

Piper ran to his side, "What? When? Phoebe…"

"Shhhh," he told her, "she's already asleep."

Piper gazed at her sister, "Are you sure that's all it is? She doesn't look any different than before."

"Trust me," he assured his daughter, "she's just asleep. I'll call for the doctor in a minute."

"Did she say anything?"

He shook his head, "Just a few words." He swept some hair from Phoebe's face, "But she'll be just fine."

Still worried about Phoebe's mention of Cole hours earlier, Piper whispered, "I hope so, Dad, I hope so…"

Suspicious from the tone of her voice, Victor asked, "Piper, do you know something about Phoebe that I don't? Did the doctors --"

"No, Dad," she quickly interrupted, "that's not it. It's just…Well…"

"Tell me."

"Right before she went into cardiac arrest, she called out Cole's name," she nervously said.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," she sighed, "we didn't want to upset you which of course you are anyway."

He eyed Phoebe, "I thought she was over him."

"We did too but…"

"But what, Piper?" She didn't look like she wanted to continue and he insisted, "But what?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I'm fine and Leo's fine and we're very happy," she began.

"You're also stalling," he warned.

"There was an incident about six weeks ago." She quickly placed her hands on her father's shoulders to keep him from getting up and possibly disturbing Phoebe. "It had to do with Leo losing his powers."

"You didn't tell me about any incident," he accused. "Just that the Elders tested Leo, went back on their word about letting him freely choose, but that he chose you anyway. What did you leave out?"

Piper cringed as she confessed, "I had to die for Leo to choose me…"

"What!"

Phoebe moaned softly and Piper quickly tried to calm her father. "It's okay. I knew what I was doing. I trusted in Leo, in his love for me and our sons."

Victor glanced at Phoebe, relieved she was still sleeping peacefully, but wasn't completely appeased by Piper's explanation, "So how's Cole involved? I mean, that's what you're trying so hard not to tell me, isn't it?"

"It's not like I wanted to tell you about the dying part either," she muttered.

The girls were more like their Grams than he wanted to admit and getting information from them was sometimes like pulling teeth. He took a deep breath and asked in his most stern voice, "What about Cole?"

Piper knew she'd gone too far and told him straight, "While I was dying, my soul ended up in another plane and Cole was there."

He let the words sink in, "He's alive? After everything Paige said, he's really alive? He can come back?"

"He's in limbo," she quickly assured him. "He's not coming back, Dad. He's accepted his fate. And he's the one who helped me. I was ready to give up but Cole's the one who convinced me to trust in Leo."

"He still loves her," Victor realized before panicking, "if he still wants her and she called for him…Piper, do you think she wants to die? Do you think she wants to go to him?" He squeezed Phoebe's hand and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "You stay with me, Phoebe. I can't bury another daughter."

Upset by her father's reaction, Piper told him, "I don't think she wants to die, Dad. But she has been a little down lately.

He turned his head to look at is daughter and slowly straightened, "I don't want her to know about Cole. When she wakes up, I don't want you saying a word to her about him."

"But she knows he helped me," Piper shook her head. "I already told them that."

"But I'm willing to bet you didn't tell her how he feels about her," he presumed. "I know she's been confused lately and I know she's hurting over him and this other demon."

"Drake," she automatically supplied the name.

"She'll have a hard enough time recovering from this," he reasoned, "and I don't want thoughts of Cole to distract her. I don't want her thinking that she might have another chance with him or that she'd rather give up her life to be with him."

"But she called for him," Piper reminded her father. "What if she remembers that?"

"She was only dreaming," he suggested. "Cole's been on her mind but it was only a dream."

But Piper resisted the idea, "I know you mean well but I can't lie to her."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, "I know…I'm sorry…"

She gave his shoulders a comforting squeeze, "You're exhausted, Dad, why don't you go home for a few hours?"

He shook his head, "Not until she wakes up again. I'll be fine. I'm worried about you, though. You've been here all night too and Chris'll probably be up soon for his feeding. You need to rest."

"I'm used to the sleepless nights," she told him. "Besides, Leo'll take care of the boys. I'm not leaving Phoebe either." She glanced down at her sister, "She'll be complaining about the food and begging us to get her out of here before you know it."

"You know how she hates being sick," Victor warned her. "She'll drive you crazy at home."

Piper leaned over to hug her father and smiled, "I can't wait…"

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