Disclaimer: I own nothing, NOTHING! Just the storyline!

This story is YAOI so if you're adverse to it don't read. It's as simple as that. And sorry if this is a bit one-sided, but my naughty side started to show and I made Cao Cao very dominating. Just harmless fun ;) Enjoy!

The Paddle (Cao Cao/Liu Bei)

Damn it Cao Cao's castle is huge thought Liu Bei as he walked through the halls. He didn't know why he was sneaking around it anyway- it was one of Zhang Fei's drunken dares, and poor Liu Bei had lost. The Shu generals were staying in Xu Chang while discussions were taking places, much to some of the generals' annoyance. They had decided to stay in their designated rooms and keep to themselves- one reason was to avoid the evil glare of the Hero of Chaos, and another reason to avoid Zhang He. Somehow they enjoyed their green outfits and didn't fancy a colour change to purple or pink.

Liu Bei stumbled through the darkness and tried to look closely at the doors. He was trying to look for the Lady Zhen's room, for Cao Pi was away in a nearby town. The drunken Zhang Fei had dared Bei to go up to her and make a pass at her, and hopefully get some action. All of the other Shu generals had agreed- poor Bei hadn't had any action since Liu Chan entered the world. They hoped that for once Bei would go and have some fun rather than concentrating on the matter at hand, leading Shu into victory (they were too drunk to really care about what Wei did). The wall lamps made everything barely visible and Liu Bei couldn't see the doors properly. He walked down the corridor and stopped near an old portrait to look behind him. From around a distant corner Zhang Fei and Guan Yu were putting their thumbs up encouraging him. He knew he couldn't go back now, especially after what he had said. Now he had to prove to everyone that he could "get more action than Dong Zhuo"…

Looking back in front of him he saw a large wooden door. This must be the Lady Zhen's room he thought as he touched the golden handle. All of the other doors looked the same but this was at the end of the corridor. It must've been Zhen Ji's… weren't women always located at one end of the corridor? Bei shrugged his shoulders and twisted the handle before he entered.

The room was dimly lit and Bei squinted so that he could see a lone figure sleeping peacefully in the bed. The room was well decorated- Zhen Ji had good taste that was for sure! Liu Bei straightened his back and walked over to the large bed, double checking that her husband wasn't there. He knew that only one person was in the bed so he tiptoed quietly over to it and lifted over the duvet. He climbed in slowly and turned to face the sleeping Zhen Ji. Wait a minute he thought as he examined 'her' face… Zhen Ji doesn't have facial hair!

"Uhhh…"

The sleeping figure moaned and moved an arm around Bei, who froze. He was trapped, in the same bed as Cao Cao? Surely this was just some horrible dream and he was asleep? He closed his eyes tight and opened them, hoping that the surroundings would magically change into his comfortable and cosy Shu bedroom, but no, all he could see was the same room of Cao. He took a gentle hold of Cao's arm and tried to move it, but whenever he moved it Cao Cao would make more sounds! He started to sweat and panic, not knowing what to do- he started to slide out of the bed, just until…

"What are YOU doing in my bed?"

Cao Cao was livid and he shot an evil glare towards his Shu counterpart. Liu Bei froze in terror.

"I'm sorry! I thought you were Lady Zhen Ji!"

"Do I have breasts and long hair?" Cao Cao looked at Bei sternly. "Well, DO I?"

"No, no, you don't! I'll be leaving now!" Liu Bei went to stand up and started walking, but found that someone was pulling on his robe. Nervously he turned around and found that it was Cao grasping onto it. "Am I not allowed to leave?"

Cao Cao slid out of bed and, while holding onto Liu Bei, pulled on his robe to cover up his bare backside. "I don't think so. You entered my room without permission, so therefore you must be punished."

Bei's eyes widened at the sound of 'punishment'. "But we are allies- surely there is another way out of this?" Cao Cao shook his head and pulled the Shu leader towards a wooden cupboard.

"Listen Xuande, very rarely do I get to have fun. I'm old and trying to run a kingdom here for crying out loud. I need to stay ahead of the game. Do you think I have time for fun and games?" Cao watched as Liu Bei shook his head, his eyes pleading for mercy. "Clearly your little prank backfired as you were stupid enough to go into the wrong room, and now you've fallen into my trap."

"What trap?"

"Ah, my good friend, you do not know the traditions of Wei!" Cao Cao pulled out of a draw a wooden paddle. "Anyone who enters my room while I am asleep gets punished by me in my own special way. Some of the generals come here frequently just for the 'punishment', especially Zhang He." He then led Liu Bei to a chair. "Now, lean into this chair, don't sit on it."

Seeing the paddle Liu Bei gulped, knelt down on the ground, and leant forwards into the chair so that his head rested on the seat. He closed his eyes, wishing that it would end. He didn't know what Cao Cao was going to do to him- this man was unpredictable and no one knew what he'd do next. Before he knew it, he found his trousers becoming looser and looser as the Wei leader untied them, and eventually they fell down to his knees. It was cold so Bei immediately felt the cold air on his ass. What in heavens name was Cao Cao planning?

Cao Cao tapped the paddle on his hand lightly, the sound sending shivers down Liu Bei's spine. He practiced swinging it in the air a little, testing the swing and making a swift whoosh noise. His targets were the two firm Shu butt cheeks, and he didn't intend on missing. After a few seconds he raised the paddle in the air and with one swift movement landed the paddle straight onto the delicate flesh of Liu Bei.

Bei yelped in pain, burying his head into the seat as Cao Cao got his way. What sort of punishment was this? This was torture! "Please Cao Cao!" he pleaded through tears. "Please stop!"

"No, you haven't been punished enough you Shu bitch!" the paddle struck Liu Bei again, causing more tears to fall down his face. "You have yet to realise my true power!"

The spanking continued with Liu Bei crying his eyes out, desperately begging Cao Cao to stop, but he didn't realise that this was just fuel for Cao's fire. The more he moaned the harder the paddle came. His butt cheeks were on fire, burning red hot, but he couldn't do anything. Each strike kept on coming and soon the pain turned into numbness. Bei didn't want to admit it, but it was actually becoming tolerable.

Cao Cao slowed down with the 'beatings' as he noticed that less noise was coming from Bei. "Quiet, eh? Or are you starting to enjoy this?"

"What? Of course I'm not…" Liu Bei trailed off leaving his sentence unfinished. Was he unsure of what he'd said… was he really enjoying it?

"So you want more?"

"No! I just want to get back!"

"You really want to go back so soon? But the fun is just beginning!"

"This is NOT fun!" Liu Bei got up to his feet and pulled up his trousers, holding them up without tying the belt. "I can't believe this is how you treat your guests?"

Cao Cao shook his head. "No, just you. I guess part of me wanted to see that tight ass of yours!" He laughed to himself as Liu Bei turned a bright shade of red and stormed towards the door. Cao rushed over and before Liu Bei left he patted his red raw backside. "Surely you'd like to stay for a bit longer Xuande? I promise I'll be good this time…"

Not for one minute did Liu Bei trust the evil sly grin on Cao's face. He was unsure about leaving or not- he knew his brothers would be waiting outside for him. Could he face the humiliation? Bei quickly grabbed hold of the handle and ran out of the room. To his shock and absolute horror he came face to face with his two oath brothers. Their jaws were dropped as far down as they could possibly go, and their eyes were wide in surprise.

"Xuande!" Yu said deeply, looking worryingly at the embarrassed Liu Bei and the grinning Cao Cao. "What were you doing in there?"

Fei noticed the bright red colour of his brother's cheeks. They were very red indeed… "I don't think I want to know what went on in there!"

"Xuande was a bad boy so I merely taught him a lesson…" Cao smirked. "Have any of you seen Zhang He around?" Guan Yu and Zhang Fei grabbed hold of Liu Bei, who looked as if he was about to break down, and shook their heads. "Hmmm… that's strange. He's late for his appointment… I suppose I'll go to bed now. It was nice playing with you Xuande… maybe another time, eh?" He gave a wink to Liu Bei before disappearing back into his room, laughing his head off on the way.

"Don't say anything," Bei warned as he was helped back into the room. "Don't say a thing…"

"Why?" questioned Fei. "Will you spank us?"

Bei's oath brothers let go of him and started to roll on the floor, laughing raucously. They howled loudly as Bei stormed off to his room, taking wide strides in his steps. He'd had enough for one night…