Thanks to melanie39 for beta-ing
It's a short chapter...Soz!
Disclaimer- I own nothing to do with The OC...SIGH!
Come Undone
Chapter 4
Kirsten walked back outside and grabbed Sandy by the arm.
"He's not in there" she whispered.
Sandy looked back at the chapel. "What do you mean he's not in there? He hasn't come out,we'd have seen him."
Seth was looking on in dismay. A few people had turned up, one man in particular was looking at Summer like he hadn't seen a woman in years and seeing where Papa Atwood had spent the last ten, it was making Seth and Luke jumpy, not to mention Summer, who wished her skirt was a little longer.
After 15 minutes, a Mexican standoff had occurred with one side of the corridor (the Cohens and co) looking at the other side (ex-con types). Kirsten elected to go in and check on Ryan.
" I spoke with the minister and he said that Ryan went outside about twenty minutes ago. There's a side door, I've looked outside and I can't find him."
Seth joined the huddle
"What's going on"
"Damn! I was afraid of this. Ryan's gone." Sandy's voice was tight.
Seth looked at Luke and Summer and raised his eyebrows, then back to where his Mom and Dad stood.
"Dad, I'm sure Ryan will be back, you know what he's like. He's probably just gone around the block to clear his head." But Seth wondered if he believed this himself. He had a feeling his Dad was right, Ryan had bailed.
"Sandy, we can't wait any longer. It's half past now, they have another service in an hour." Kirsten looked panicked.
Sandy placed his arm around Kirsten and gave her a hug.
"I'll go and look for Ryan, you all go in and phone me if he shows up O.K"
Sandy gave Kirsten a reassuring squeeze.
"I'm sure Seth's right, he'll be back. You can get a lift from Luke if I'm not back"
Luke had appeared beside them. "Sure thing Mr Cohen."
Sandy gave Kirsten a kiss on the cheek. "I'll find him, Honey"
Ryan paid the taxi driver and exited the car. He stood in front of a run down apartment building. He sighed; Dawn certainly wasn't spending the Cohens' money on accommodation. He passed a group of kids of various ages who were hanging around outside smoking. They eyed him suspiciously.
He walked up to a skinny Latino kid who was obviously the ringleader. He looked about thirteen and had the swagger of a kid trying to be older than his years.
"I'll give you ten dollars for the rest of that packet of smokes and your lighter." Ryan's niceties went out of the window in Chino.
The kid tried to look tough. "Fifteen and they're yours."
"Ten."
The kid looked like he was going to argue, but stopped himself when he looked into Ryan's eyes and realised that this dude looked like he wanted to rip someone's head off. Hey, ten dollars was a fair price. There were only nine left in the packet anyway.
"O.K"
The kid handed over the cigarettes and the cheap disposable lighter and pocketed the money. The gang moved off as Ryan lit up and stared at the building. He sucked the acrid smoke into his lungs and let it trickle out of his nose. He finished the cigarette and flicked the butt into a bush.
He climbed three flights of stairs, and stood in front of the chipped blue front door. He pounded hard. He heard someone inside. He thumped the door again with the side of his fist. He heard the unmistakable voice of Dawn inside.
"Hold on. I'm coming." The door swung open.
Dawn looked at Ryan dumbfounded.
"Ryan? What are you doing here"
Ryan stalked past her into the apartment. The place was a shit hole. Faded wallpaper, cheap furniture and the smell of stale food hung in the air. Ryan walked over to the couch and picked up a bottle of vodka that was sitting on the coffee table.
"Is THIS what you've been spending the money the Cohens have been sending you" Ryan spat.
Dawn shut the door. " How'd you find out"
" Find out that they've been lying to me? Or find out that you've been freeloading from them? How can you take money from them? They pay for everything, my clothes, school, everything. What makes you think they owe you ANYTHING"
Ryan yelled
"I figured you had disappeared. After Casino night, I've heard nothing! Then I find out that you've been in contact with them but not once have you been to see me or rung. Why"
Dawn looked on the verge of tears.
"Ryan honey, don't be like this, we… we'd thought it was for the best if I kept away. I never asked for the money, they just sent it to me…I never asked for it"
"But you took it, you didn't send it back Mom, did you" Ryan slammed the bottle down with such force it shattered.
Dawn jumped
"Ryan you're scaring me."
"I thought you liked your men like this Mom? Ass-holes who like to throw their weight around? You still with that fucker A.J" Ryan hissed.
"Ryan, why are you being like this? This isn't you" Dawn pleaded.
"Not me? How would you know what the fuck I'm like these days? Do you even know what today was Mom? I needed you today but you chose to sit here drinking vodka instead."
Ryan sat down.
" I needed you today Mom but you let me down again, just like you've always let me down when it came to Dad." Ryan's voice was lower now, the fight had gone out of him.
"I'm sorry honey." Dawn sat down next to Ryan, Ryan shifted so that there was no body contact. "I couldn't go, you know what your dad was like."
Ryan gave a bitter laugh remembering . "Ohh yeah Mom, I know what Dad was like."
He lit another cigarette.
" I want to know why you never did anything, you could have left him when you found out what he was doing to me an' Trey, but you stayed with him. Why"
Tears were snaking down Dawn's face. "I swear I didn't know until after he was put away."
"Don't fucking lie to me, I was watching when Trey told you." Ryan took a deep drag" I must have been about five, you washed his mouth out with soap and told him not to tell lies about his father. What kid would tell lies about that"
Ryan's hand was shaking now at the memory.
"You knew what he was doing to us, the fucking house wasn't that big Mom. Did you think he spent all that time in our rooms reading us bedtime stories? You never ONCE heard us crying telling him to stop? Don't fucking lie about this, not now. We've never talked about this. I need to know, why you ignored what was going on"
Dawn got up and went over to the kitchen; she got a bottle of scotch out of the cupboard and poured herself a large glass. She swallowed down a healthy slug.
"Ryan, you don't know what it was like, I was scared of him. The whole neighbourhood was scared of him. I didn't know what to do."
Dawn downed the rest of her drink and poured herself another one.
"That's it? YOU were scared of him"
Ryan was getting angry again.
"YOU were scared of him…. what about US…WE WERE FUCKING KIDS" Ryan yelled. "I know that Kirsten would do anything… anything to protect Seth, YOU did nothing"
"As if the perfect Kirsten Cohen would have had to deal with stuff like that. Living her wonderful life, in her big house wanting for nothing. What would I have done if I had left your father, where would WE go? I didn't have a trust fund to live off Ryan. So don't tell ME what Kirsten fucking Cohen would have done." Dawn spat back.
Ryan balled his fists. He knew he was seriously going to lose it if he stayed. That thought scared him. He wasn't going to be like the men he had hated when he was growing up.
"You know what? I don't know why I came here…"
Ryan got up. He had to get out. This was a bad idea.
"It's all about you isn't it Mom. It always was and it always will be. Trey and me never got a look in. As long as you had your ass-hole boyfriends and your drink. Well I hope you're happy cause we're through, finished. Got that"
His voice was low and husky with emotion.
Ryan yanked open the front door and took the stairs two at a time to get out of there. He had walked a few blocks before he allowed himself to slow down.
He sat down on a wall and had another smoke. He tried to calm his breathing. He knew the Cohens were probably mad at him for leaving. He couldn't face them now. He didn't know what to do. He felt tears well in his eyes and bit his cheek hard to try and stop them. He had never felt so alone.
Tbc