Chapter 10

"Enter Odius"

"'To The King' — Well, looks like this is the place…"

Shrek glanced expectantly from the sign to his friends as their guide struggled to unlock the door beneath it. This wasn't the first time they'd been forced to wait while the guard labored with locks and deadbolts, and Shrek couldn't help but wonder who was important — or paranoid — enough to warrant so much security.

Finally, the unmistakable click of a key sliding into place and a lock mechanism being tripped alerted the three that the soldier had finally succeeded in his task. Looking back at his charges, the guard swung the door open, motioning for them to follow him inside. With no other option presenting itself, the three complied, filing through the door as their guide placed his torch into an empty bracket bolted into the stone wall.

"This way," he grunted, pointing down the hallway within.

Shrek and his friends had been down a lot of passageways on the surprisingly lengthy journey from the waiting room — more than really seemed necessary, to tell the truth. But none of the other hallways they had traveled had been designed with such an obvious eye for… atmosphere…as the one they now entered.

The hall stretched on for a good 70 yards at least, with a pair of wall-mounted torches burning every 10 or so. A once-luxurious but now moth-eaten and mud-streaked red carpet ran down the center of the otherwise bare stone floor, and portrait after unflattering ogre portrait leered back from their frames along either wall, giving the three visitors an eerie feeling of being watched. Someone had put a lot of work into making the entry hall as imposing as possible, and it was with no small measure of apprehension that Shrek, Fiona and Donkey started down the dim corridor after their guide.

"Well, it's about time!" Shrek grumbled loudly as he fell into step behind the guard, hoping to hide his growing uneasiness from both his friends and their escort. "People thinkin' they can jus' set us aside without so much as a 'Thank ye very much' — I'm a very busy ogre, y'know!"

Shrek's protest drew no discernible response — at least not from the guard.

"'A very busy ogre,' huh?'" Fiona whispered, lifting a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle and doing her best not to attract the guard's attention. "Since when?"

"All right, so maybe I exaggerated just a little," Shrek whispered back, his low chuckle a tinny echo within the helmet he still sported despite Fiona's protests that it wasn't exactly appropriate attire for meeting royalty — "Better safe than sorry," he had argued at the time. "But HE doesn't have t'know that, now does he?"

Donkey, never one to be left out where talking was involved, was just about to offer his own, louder take on the couple's hushed conversation when one of the paintings caught his eye. He stopped to examine the work of art — a portrait of a portly ogre with a devious grin splitting his blotchy jade face and a cloud of unpleasant-looking yellow smoke billowing up behind him. As he did so, his trio of ogre companions continued on, unnoticed and unnoticing, without him.

"'Bluh…blue…blood," Donkey struggled to sound out the words on the portrait's nameplate. Reading wasn't one of his strong points — after all, barnyards weren't exactly known for great literature. "Bloodnut!" he finally managed. "Huh? How 'bout tha— HEY!"

He turned to inform Shrek of his little "discovery," only to find the ogre a good 15 yards down the hall. Realizing he'd been left behind, Donkey took off at full gallop in the direction of his companions, the threadbare red carpet doing little to muffle the click-clack of his hooves. Slowing to a trot as he reached his friends, Donkey nudged his way between Shrek and Fiona, bringing their discussion to a quick end.

"Psst! Hey, Shrek — who ARE all these guys?" Donkey hissed, eyeing the portraits nervously.

"Wha?" Shrek sputtered, caught a little off-guard by Donkey's sudden reappearance. "Oh…they're, uh, heroes — OGRE heroes," he answered, gesturing toward the nearest painting. "See, there's Wormgut…an' Sluggullet…an' here's Grunk, the Fairly Unpleasant."

"Uh huh…unpleasant…yeah," Donkey mumbled in response, nodding his head as he mulled over this new information, less enamored than ever with ogres' taste in names. "So, uh, what'd these guys do t'get all famous an' everything anyways?"

"Well — all sorts o'things, Donkey," Shrek explained. "Some of 'em built stuff…some fought off monsters an' that sort o' thing…some were jus' good at, y'know, bein' big an' mean an' scary — ye remember, 'th'whole ogre trip?' But all of 'em managed t'get all us ogres t'work together. An' believe you me, that's no easy thing t— "

"Ahem!"

At the sound of the cough, Shrek and Donkey cut their discussion short, glancing over at the source of the noise. Satisfied he had everyone's attention, the guard stepped forward, taking hold of a frayed rope that held closed a similarly worn-looking crimson curtain draped across the far end of the hallway. Fumbling through his pockets with his free hand, the ogre finally produced a crumpled notecard. Holding the card up to the nearest torch, the guard took one last look at the words printed thereon, lips moving silently as he read.

"May I per-press-present," he stumbled through his lines, eyes scanning the card still held firmly in hand, "his royal highness — King Odius!"

He tugged the rope loose and the curtain fell upon, revealing a sprawling throne room. Like the hallway that preceded it, the room was decked out in the second-hand trappings of royalty, topped off by a huge, wall-spanning tapestry depicting an imperial-looking ogre addressing a cheering crowd — although, upon closer inspection, it was obvious that the ogres had been painted on, and recently, over a more conventional, human scene.

And in front of the tapestry, seated on a rough-hewn stone throne marked by the same grimacing ogre face carved into the cavern "door," sat its subject — a regal but weary-looking ogre, the pea-green skin of his face not hidden by his gray-streaked beard or thick, bushy eyebrows crisscrossed by a latticework of wrinkles, dressed in a threadbare approximation of kingly garb. A dented brass crown rested about his graying temples, and a ratty-looking fur cape hung from his slumping shoulders.

If this is the Odius everyone has been going on about Fiona thought to herself as she eyed her apparent host I'm NOT impressed.

She was, however, a little concerned — not so much by the seated ogre as the familiar-looking figure standing menacingly behind him, whose grim face and massive frame she recognized almost immediately as that of the late-night visitor who had spurred this unexpected quest.

A rough shove from behind brought a rude end to the ogress' observations. She whirled around angrily, ready to give the guard a piece of her mind — and was shocked to find a furious-looking Shrek glaring back. Before the flustered princess could manage a word, he forced his way past, seemingly oblivious to everything and everyone but—

"ODIUS!" Shrek roared as he marched forward, his heavy footsteps ringing loudly off the walls of the huge but almost empty chamber. "I've got a couple o' questions t— "

The elder ogre raised a hand to silence Shrek as he leaned forward, squinting at his helmed visitor.

"And you would be…?" he asked blandly, his monotone betraying his lack of interest in the answer.

Shrek was surely interested in providing one, though. With a grunt of frustration and disgust, he wrenched the helmet from his head and tossed it into the hands of his startled wife, his ears springing back into place as they slipped free.

"I'D be SHREK!"

"Shrek?"

The king's entire countenance changed in an instant at the mention of the name. His head lifted, his shoulders straightened, and a broad grin spread across his lined face.

"YOU! Why didn't you tell me Shrek was here?" he demanded from the guard, who looked as perplexed by the king's sudden change of mood as Shrek and his friends.

"But…but I DID, milord…" the befuddled guard tried frantically to explain.

"Silence!" the king barked, cutting the guard's panicked search for an answer short and waving a hand dismissively in the direction of the hall. "You may go now."

Confused and a little embarrassed (although he wasn't sure why), the guard slunk out of the room, taking care to close the curtain and refasten the rope behind him.

The senior ogre watched until he was sure his underling had gone, then rose to his feet and strode forward in the direction of Shrek, arms outstretched in welcome.

"Shrek, m'boy!" he crowed as he approached the ogre, his smile growing even wider. "How long has it been?"

Shrek couldn't have been more disinclined to return the warm greeting.

"Not nearly long enough, Odius," he growled, staring up at the taller but much thinner monarch in obvious enmity.

Odius' smile faded, his feelings apparently hurt by the chilly reception from Shrek. The sting of Shrek's rejection didn't linger long, though, as Odius' pained expression quickly faded to its earlier world-weary countenance, the ogre recapturing his regal bearing

"Well, if you really feel that way, then perhaps I don't have time to speak with you after all," he responded coolly. "After all, I have a VERY full schedule as is, what with being KING and all…"

With that, Odius gestured for the looming Grunder to join them. As the huge ogre reached the foursome, the king pointed toward the curtain before turning away and trudging slowly back to his throne.

"Grunder — show our guests out," he sighed as he reclaimed his seat.

More than happy to follow Odius' lead and halfway hoping for an argument from Shrek, Grunder grinned wickedly and started toward the three visitors.

"It would be my pleasure, milord…" he rumbled, appreciative of the chance to flex his considerable muscle.

But Shrek was in no mood to put with Grunder's attitude. He intercepted the towering creature in mid-stride, planting one jabbing finger squarely in the ogre's armored chest.

"Not so fast," Shrek snarled in the face of the startled Grunder, then spun to face Odius.

"An' you! I came here for some answers — an' I'm not leavin' until I get 'em!"

"Questions?"

"Yeah, questions!" Shrek echoed as he approached the throne, coming to rest just inches from Odius. "Like why HE suddenly popped up at m'door the other night…"

"Why? Because I sent him, of course!"

Shrek has already opened his mouth to argue, steeled for a denial and a lengthy argument from Odius. The king's voluntary confession had caught him a bit off-guard, but to his credit, he recovered quickly. He looked over his shoulder with a self-satisfied grin at Fiona, who had stepped between Shrek and the smoldering Grunder.

"See — I told ye he had something' t'do with it!" Shrek shouted smugly in the direction of his wife before turning his attention once again to Odius. "An' why would ye want t'do somethin' like that, then?"

Odius seemed neither surprised nor alarmed by the question. In fact, he seemed to be not the least bit unsettled by Shrek's irate interrogation. "I needed to be sure we were dealing with the right ogre," he replied calmly, as if the answer should have been obvious.

"Right ogre?" Shrek repeated, his voice thick with confusion — and suspicion. "Right ogre f'r what?"

"Why, for— " Odius started to answer before catching himself in mid-sentence. "Never mind. It's clear you're not interested, so— "

Shrek had had more than enough of Odius' games. With a roar of anger, he seized the ratty fur lining of Odius' cape and slammed the startled monarch into his seat.

"Now look here, Odius," he growled, his face no more than an inch from that of his host. "King or no, I want some straight answers— "

Grunder wasn't about to see the king accosted on HIS watch, and he started forward to put an end to Shrek's heavy-handed questioning. But he had only managed a step or two before he found his forward progress brought to a quick halt by the outstretched arm of a determined-looking Fiona.

"Hold it right there, pal," she ordered quietly, locking him in her sights with the same angry gaze that had snapped Shrek out of more than one temper tantrum. She was relieved to find that it worked equally well on Grunder, who took an unsteady step back. Clearly, this ogress meant business.
"Milord?" he called out uncertainly over the head of the much shorter Fiona, finding himself in an unfamiliar situation and not entirely sure how he should respond.

"— an YE'RE the ogre who's goin' t'give 'em t'me," Shrek continued his demands, ignoring the confrontation behind him. He leaned closer, until he was nose-to-nose and eye-to-eye with the cringing Odius.

"Aren't ye?"

Shrek had hoped his "bad cop" act would bully Odius into telling him what he wanted to know, as it had with the shopkeeper back in Slobberknob. But the king was not so easily intimidated. He shifted his own weight forward, forcing Shrek to retreat, until he was once again sitting up straight in the throne.

"Fine. You want answers, Shrek?" Odius asked, a sly smile playing across his lips. "Then you shall have them…tonight….at dinner…"