"Doctor Kovac?"

Luka looked up at the intruder and sighed tiredly. He knew that this was coming, he'd expected it - but he still wasn't ready for it.

"Yeah?" He muttered around his fingers that were clenched together in front of his lips.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" Luka nodded. "Outside?"

Luka looked at Sam's face and was torn - he didn't want to leave her side.

"Is it okay if we stay here? She should wake up soon and I just..."

He heard the police officer take a breath and then nod.

"My name is Officer Sanders. And I'm sorry about having to ask these questions, and I am sorry that you have to go through this."

Luka looked up to the female officer who had her hair tied back into a bun and had a notepad and pen in her hand. Turning slightly, he saw that her partner was standing outside the door, keeping watch over the corridor.

"Have a seat," Luka said politely, indicating the chair that was still sitting next to him since Carter had ran off an hour before.

"So... It is my understanding that you left the hospital at around three pm this afternoon, is that correct?" Luka nodded and turned his eyes back to Sam. "And where did you go?"

Luka sighed and dropped his head into his hand a scrubbed at his face.

"I went to Sam's."

"Why?"

Luka licked his lips and looked out at the door again. It was only the police officer standing.

"I had to try and stop her from going. We had received a phone call from her, telling us that she was leaving and... I had to see her," Luka murmured and he spoke slowly, watching as she jotted down his words.

"What transpired once you reached the apartment?"

Luka bit his lip and rubbed his hands together then dropped them onto his thighs.

"I tried to get her to stay - but she didn't. So... we said goodbye."

"And by 'said goodbye' you mean..?"

Luka expelled a breath of air and turned to the officer and pursed his lips.

"We had sex," he said bluntly, nodding slightly.

"Was it consensual?" Luka laughed slightly at that and nodded his head. "Are you sure?" Luka nodded again. "Okay... and what happened after that?"

Luka scrubbed his face again, pulling his eyelids down slightly to allow his eyes to breathe. He felt as though his eyelids were sandpaper and every time he closed them, his eyes were scratched. What he wouldn't give for his tear ducts to produce some moisture right now.

"We talked for a couple of minutes... I basically told her that I'd never forget about her, she made some joke about living in celibacy... and then I left."

The hardest thing I've ever had to do...

"What time was this at?"

Luka thought about it and looked at the watch on his wrist. 0145.

"God... I don't know... about four thirty? Maybe a little earlier? I can't remember."

He saw her nod from the corner of his eye and he closed his eyes and scratched them over his eyelids.

"And where did you go after that?" The officer asked politely and Luka opened his eyes again and looked at her, his eyes were seriously beginning to nip now.

She was actually quite pretty. A little young but pretty. Her deep sallow skin seemed to be glowing, her dark eyes contrasting well with her hair. Luka shook his head against these thoughts and looked away.

"I drove back here, parked the car in the parking lot, went over to the Jumbo-Mart across the street and got a coffee. I sat there for a while just thinking then I came back across here, met the ambulance at the bay and..." he trailed off and his hand involuntarily reached up to Sam. "Then I went to the St John's Chapel and then came here."

There was silence for a few moments and then Luka heard her stand up.

"Thank you for your time, Doctor Kovac," she said and nodded in his direction but he didn't look at her and he waited until he heard the door to the room close before he dropped his head onto the metal rail guard.

"A shell, Luka. Because of you."

This was his fault.

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are...

Abby stood outside the room, in silence, watching through the window. He looked dead. She reached her hand up and scratched her nose as she sniffed.

She felt someone walk up beside her and she turned to see Elizabeth Corday take up residence at her side.

The hallways of ICU were silent, a few nurses milling around with nothing much to do.

"How is she doing?" Abby asked quietly as she swiped at her nose again.

"I was hoping she would have woken up by now," Corday replied, just as quietly as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, her long scrub coat blowing slightly behind her at the motion causing the only motion in the barren hallways. "She's fine on the whole. But the longer she's down... the more that we should worry that there is something we missed. With a head trauma like that, who knows? There didn't seem to be any serious bruising on the CT but... who knows?"

Abby sighed and nodded, dropping her head forward onto the glass gently.

She could see that Luka was in another world; his eyes open but distant, glazed, staring just over Sam's body, his hand resting near the side of Sam's torso. She felt an ache envelope her chest as she watched him.

"He's lost so much in his life already - he shouldn't have to lose her, too," she muttered as she lifted her head off the glass that had fogged under her breath.

She saw Corday swing her hips so she was looking at her.

"I'm sorry, Abby; I didn't know you guys had split up..."

Abby turned to her and smiled tightly, but didn't say anything.

Turning back to the view before her, she reached her hand out to the side of her and turned the doorknob.

"I'm going to go in and see him."

Corday nodded, placed her hand on Abby's shoulder and walked away.

Abby walked in slowly and then closed the door behind her. She saw Luka turn his eyes to her slowly and then watched as he winced painfully at the sight of her.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

He didn't deny it; he simply looked away and nodded.

"I knew - I always knew. I just didn't want to see it."

"I'm sorry, Abby..."

She shook her head and moved closer to the bed, her eyes on Sam, her arms folded in front of her chest.

"Don't be sorry for being happy." Luka turned to her with a pained expression on his features and he dragged his hand down his face. She took a deep breath and continued. "It's funny... cause I'm not mad. I'm just... upset that you didn't tell me sooner."

Luka looked back to her and Abby pursed her lips, her eyes dropping from his and she fiddled with the pocket of her white lab coat.

"Sam's mother is on her way down from Elgin, she should be here in about an hour."

Luka nodded and dropped his hands from his face.

"You should get some sleep, Luka." She knew it was a futile attempt and when she saw him shake her head, she smiled to herself.

"I just... I don't think I can lose her, Abby."

Abby looked at him, trying to keep the hurt from her eyes, as he shook his head, his Adam's apple rising high up in his throat as he swallowed. It was painful for her to hear him speak of another woman like that. To see him look at one of her friends like that.

"How long?" She asked eventually, reaching her hand up and playing with her ponytail.

Her hands were actually shaking.

She saw him shake his head and look at her.

"Abby..."

"I want to know, Luka."

She was masochist, she decided. Why else would she want him to answer her?

He was silent, pleading with her to desist. She didn't back down and he sighed.

"Four months..."

Abby looked down and drew her cheeks in between her teeth and closed her eyes as she felt the weight in her chest double.

"I'm sorry, Abby," he whispered and watched her and Abby finally lifted her head and looked directly into his eyes. Deep, azure, pained eyes that she had once been able to call beautiful. Now almost dead and empty.

"I'm glad you found someone you could take home at night, Luka - I just wish it had been me, it was a part of your life you would never let me into..." she choked out and Luka stood and moved towards her.

Reaching his hand out to touch her, he decided on pulling her into a hug.

"I did love you, Abby, I still do," he told her as he rubbed his hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"I know, Luka... you were just never in love with me," she muttered into his chest as she nodded her head. They stayed that way for a few minutes and then Abby heaved a sigh and pulled back from him, taking her arms from around his waist. "Thank you, Luka."

Luka looked at her, shocked and raised his eyebrow.

"For what?" He asked, hugging himself.

"Even when you were with Sam... you always made me feel loved. You always treated me well."

Luka opened his mouth to say something but stopped and simply nodded.

Abby waited for a few minutes and then nodded at him, gestured to Sam and said:

"Tell her I said hi and I'll come back up and see her when she wakes up."

Luka nodded and watched as Abby left the room.

When she reached the door, she opened it and stepped out, pausing before she closed the door and heard him murmur to Sam, switching flawlessly between Croatian and English.

"Mon dragi, I'm sorry... Volim te."

She turned slightly and saw him leaning over Sam's head and press a kiss to her forehead before resting his own against hers.

She closed the door and walked away. When she rounded the corner, she saw Susan step out of the elevator and she waved to her.

Susan, seeing the distress Abby was in, held the elevator door open and ushered Abby inside and waited for the doors to close.

"How are you Abby?" She asked as she pressed the emergency stop button to allow them some privacy.

Abby looked at her friend for a few seconds, felt her legs begin to weaken, her chest begin to heave and she covered her face as tears spilled over her eyelids.

"I feel like I'm falling apart..."

Falling into Susan's chest, she wept.

And I've been secretly falling apart…

TBC

Song used it AquaLung - Strange and Beautiful