STARTREK VOYAGER: HUNTERS TRILOGY

Part Two "Repercussions"

Chakotay awoke slowly rubbing his eyes, he ordered "Lights". It hit him, very much as a headache. Damn he was still in Janeway's quarters. Slowly the events of the previous evening played in his minds eye. He rose, dressed, he daren't shower not here. Chakotay peered cautiously from Janeway's door insuring himself of no probim eyes before stepping out into the corridor and heading to his own Cabin.

What had he done, he stood in his sonic shower hoping praying that this wasn't the biggest error in judgment of his life to date. Seduced the Captain bad yes but whilst she was less than in a fit state to offer any sort of objection unforgivable. Almost forty six years old and he was acting like some hormone driven teenager. He was no novice when it came to women god knows he'd had his fair share and yes he'd broken a few hearts. But he had never let them get under his skin not as Kathryn had. Her hair, her smile and oh god that body. In her presence he felt a quivering teenager remaining silent and distant only in the hope of formulating some sort of defence against the potent effect she had always had on him.

Kathryn Janeway found Chakotay's arm about her waist she didn't wake him, he looked so peaceful so beautiful. She didn't know nor feared she ever would in this life why this man. This patient kind man loved her as no one else had. Not Justin and not Mark.

Once dressed Kathryn marched purposefully at least this was the impression she wished to convey, to the bridge. Tuvok's eyebrow was raised inquisitively, she ignored it.

"Mr Tuvok the bridge is yours until Mr Chakotay reports for duty".

"Aye Captain"

Her ready room door hissed shut Janeway slumped against the bulkhead just inside. The weight of what she had done slowly dawning on her. Kathryn managed to get herself a coffee. She sat putting her feet up on her coffee table. Finally she faced her actions of the previous evening. For the first time in her life professionally and personally, she was ashamed of herself. Captains didn't sleep with their first officers it just wasn't done. She knew that relationships between officers were not prohibited by Starfleet but they were frowned upon 'Oh boy facing him was going to be difficult enough'

She gulped down the remainder of her coffee stood and turned hoping the stars would bring forth some answers.

Chakotay noticed Janeway's absence immediately Tuvok was at his post. Chakotay could swear the Vulcan had something on his mind, in other circumstances he would have asked the Vulcan security chief straight out, but this time it was the least of his problems. He warred with his indecision should he attempt to beard the lioness in her den or wait until later?. Chakotay chose former, better to face the music sooner rather than later.

"Mr Tuvok you have the Bridge"

"Aye Commander"

The door chime sounded, a startled Kathryn Janeway turned put her hands behind her back and let the mask of professionalism once again shroud her features.

"Enter"

Chakotay entered cautiously, not quite sure of his reception, and even less sure of his ground.

"Commander"

Chakotay raised one arm "Kathryn before you say anything. I apologise for my actions last night. I took advantage of you. I'm sorry, but I don't regret it".

"Commander my behaviour wasn't exactly Starfleet issue either"

"Kathryn your not going to attempt to rationalise last night. Belittle its significance. What happened between us was beautiful and right. I don't want it to end here and now".

Kathryn Janeway turned from him. She drew a steadying breath. God help him she thought 'he loves me'. 'Do I love him'. Kathryn wasn't sure if she loved Chakotay or even if she could but one thing was abundantly clear if she didn't slow this relationship down they would both be hurt and she would find that impossible to live with.

She walked slowly over to the view port and stared wistfully at the stars. The inner comfort this usually afforded her was absent and for the first time in years she was faced with revealing that which has troubled her soul for many years, to another. The memories still vivid bubbled up to the surface. She turned to face Chakotay her face unreadable as she spoke softly.

"Seventeen years ago I lost my fiancée and my father. We were testing my fathers new prototype shuttle craft of Tau Alpha C. It doesn't matter how suffice as to say it crashed throwing me clear. Justin and my father were still trapped in the cockpit when I regained consciousness. I went in search of them at length I could see their bodies trapped inside the sunken cockpit. A light on the only section of the shuttle still above water led me to the transporter console. I knew there was only enough power to safely transport one, but I couldn't choose who lived and who died. I loved them both so much", Kathryn paused for breath. A single tear slipped out. Chakotay acting on instinct placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I choose to try to save both and I ended up losing both…..I never want to feel that kind of pain again. Chakotay Mark was there to help me pick up the pieces of y life. I did love him, but in honesty not enough to marry him", Kathryn stepped back from Chakotay.

He listened to the words understanding why she kept throwing up barriers between them. To her love meant pain, loss and grief. The question was it how could he prove to her that it didn't have to be that way. He loved her, her strength, her stubbornness, her bossy nature, the whole damn package.

"I'm sorry Kathryn", sorry just didn't really cut it.

"Chakotay right now im not sure about anything at least where were concerned", Kathryn sniffed and raised a hand to wiper her tear stained cheeks.

"I just don't know what I feel for you. I wish I had the words to say this without hurting you. God we would have had this conversation on New Earth. Its all moving to fast for me Chakotay, I cant go from being friends and comrades to being lovers with all that entails in one night", she turned her head. "I feel like I'm drowning Chakotay"

"Is this your way of saying this is it it's over, one night only is that it"

Kathryn looked at him, but didn't respond.

"Answer me Damn it", Chakotay's anger was very evident. He grabbed both Kathryn's arms and probed her features, finally resting his eyes on hers.

"Tell me last night meant nothing to you and I'll never trouble you again. Well…..", he paused, his grip tightened.

"Your hurting me Chakotay", Kathryn grimaced biting her lip against the pain.

"Well tell me Kathryn"

She had never seen him so angry.

"I can't, she lowered her head. "Let me go Chakotay". He did, turning from her, he left.

Voyager had hit a lull. There were no anomalies no negotiations. No one had attacked, threatened or otherwise troubled the ship and crew.

Janeway wasn't sure if Chakotay had changed his shift to avoid her or if it had been necessary. The result however, had meant rarely seeing him except during senior staff meetings, even then he only spoke when necessary.

She had lost a friend 'Maybe he was just licking his wounds', she thought. She had no way of knowing. The hours turned into days and the days to weeks five weeks had passed. Kathryn and Chakotay had not had a conversation of any sort. This bugged her yes but not half as much as a damned stomach bug. She'd had it two days, she looked like hell. She wished in the recesses of her mind Chakotay could see her like this he'd go off her and yet another weight would be lifted from her shoulders.

Two Weeks Later

Chakotay's chime sounded, Tuvok stepped in looked around and finally faced the commander.

"Commander I wish to discuss what is most probably a delicate matter". The Vulcan's gaze was steadfast and piercing.

"I don't discuss my personal Lieutenant"

"I believe you personal life is making the Captain ill".

"She's ill", Chakotay was on his feet before the words had left his mouth. His Kathryn was ill.

"What's wrong with her Tuvok?"

"I have no idea commander, she is pale, drawn, has lost considerable amount of weight and is displaying vastly contrasting mood swings"

"What does the Doctor say?"

"Very little, she refuses to visit sickbay, she has accused me of being over protective"

"What is it you want from me?"

"Please speak with her end your disagreement, this may cause her physical symtomology to cease. I have observed that in humans emotional upset can result in corresponding physiological symtomology"

"I'll Try Tuvok"

"That's all I ask, thank you Commander". Tuvok nodded curtly and left. Chakotay was with out a doubt undecided.

"Computer, Time?"

"The time is twenty three hundred hours and two minutes".

"Damn she's in bed", he was disappointed.

Kathryn paced her bathroom, god she wanted nothing better than to hit something or someone. She'd spent all of her time since the end of her duty shift dealing with yet another bout of retching and nausea, something that of late had become an unwelcome part of her daily routine. She knew she'd have to see the Doctor, but this in its self was a torture of sorts as everything came with a lecture. Finally she felt well enough to leave the bathroom only to be faced with dizziness. She swayed her fall broken only by the side of her bed somehow she crawled onto it she vowed. 'Tomorrow I see him lecture or no', before the all too familiar blackness engulfed her exhausted body…..

The blackness subsided slowly. Kathryn raised her head and squinted in disbelief. Chakotay, the Doctor and Tuvok were assembled like pack rats at the foot of her bed. All three looked equally bewildered an concerned.

"Lie still Captain im not finished scanning you yet"

"What happened Doctor?", her throat was desert dry and her head ached.

"You lost consciousness. At best guess twelve hours ago. Tuvok couldn't contact you over the comm system. The Commander and I are here as back up". Janeway swallowed this explanation with a great deal of difficulty.

"Can you walk Captain?"

"Sure Doctor".

As she spoke she looked downward and noted her uniformed body and then there was Chakotay who looked distraught. She swung her feet over the side of her bed and lifted herself somewhat shakily onto them. Chakotay steadied her with one strong arm and placed his other one about her waist. She ignored with difficulty how good his arm felt about her body and the tangible heat flowing from him.

Moments Later

Kathryn Janeway lifted herself onto a bio bed and faced a less than happy Medical Officer. He had ordered Chakotay and Tuvok out very soon after their arrival at sickbay.

"Damned stomach bug", Janeway held her stomach as yet another bout of nausea threatened.

"Captain I am afraid what you have is not a simple case of stomach flu or any sort of but".

The Doctor beamed to brightly for Janeway's liking. He put both of his hands on the Captains shoulders.

"What is wrong with me Doctor?"

"It's my privilege Captain and pleasure to inform you that you are with child and all going well would deliver in about thirty two weeks"

"Pregnant, are you sure Doctor"

"Yes I've cheeked the results several times, there is no doubt".

"Oh dear not the reaction I expected. I hope Commander Chakotay takes it better".

For at that moment Kathryn Janeway Starfleet Captain had dutifully passed out.

End Part Two