Author's Note: Lady of infinity... No... this story is taken as part of the tv series 'young blades' in it, Jacqueline Roget is a fugitive from Mazarin and so diguises herself as a man, and joins the musketeers... D'Artagnan jr. knows her secret... and keeps it. For my purposes I found a storyline to give her the freedom to be a 'woman' as she really is.

Oh, guys... keep an OPEN MIND for this chapter. After seeing d'Artagnan's 'other side' in the Exile and his 'comments' on the women that Ramon and Siroc thought could be the baby's mom from 'four musketeers and a baby' I felt d'Artagnan was saying nothing really happened with those women he just let them believe it did, and so he's not as 'wild' as we were led to believe. Plus, I have a feeling he would 'want' the girl to fully committ to the 'act' and all, soberly... so keep that in mind while reading... thanks to Heather and Nicole as usual. Feedback, and enjoy. Meg

He was nervous as he began to speak again. "I feel responsible for what happened."

Jacqueline looked upset still. "You did not force me to drink the wine or to…" She trailed off face flushing as she looked at the floor. She moved to the bed, wincing as she sat down.

"Jacqueline, I did not... I mean you are not hurt from last night are you?" He was standing over her, his face flushing, but looking concerned.

Jacqueline could not look at him as she responded. "I am fine, Edmund. You were…" She flushed, trying to regain control. "Are, a perfect gentleman," she finished. She heard him sigh in relief.

He then grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him. "I made a promise to your brother," he began and she felt confused. "A promise to protect you. One I mercilessly broke when I failed to protect you from myself."

Was that all she was? Some broken promise? Some form of duty? She felt anger rise over her. "We both had too much wine. We were not in control. It was no one's fault," she said determinedly.

He shook his head. "My father may not have been around much, but he did instill values in me. He taught me to never take advantage of a woman, and till now I have respected that." Jacqueline felt sick again. So what are you saying? You knew what you did? No, you did not; I can tell the difference. D'Artagnan continued, "I will make amends, for your sake, and for the promise I gave your brother." She stiffened as he went on. "I am prepared to marry you as soon as the mission is over. You will live at the cottage…"

Jacqueline did not need to hear anymore. She would NOT marry him to ease his guilt. She stood up, shoulders square, and jaw set firm as she spoke, "You are right, last night was a mistake, but your," she paused to find the right word. "Solution…it is faulty," she said making it clear she did not agree. "I will not marry you. I have done fine taking care of myself till now, and do not need you," she said with bitterness and she turned to the door. "If you will excuse me, I feel like a walk." She made it clear that she was going to matter what. D'Artagnan stared after her, wondering what had gone wrong.

Jacqueline stood in the darkness on the deck. It was well past dinnertime. She let the tears fall freely, not caring. The water sloshed against the bottom of the ship and she let the sound calm her.

Helena came up behind her. "My dear, are you alright?"

Jacqueline looked up at her, her face red from crying. "Not really," she said, deciding not to try to lie. Helena gave her a hug and Jacqueline sobbed, "He does not love me!" She paused to calm down enough to finish. "D'Artagnan, all he cares about…" she stopped realizing what she had said.

Helena sighed, "I know you are not who you pretend to be, but perhaps this conversation is best for somewhere a little more private?" Jacqueline nodded gratefully as Helena led her down the hallway, neither noticing the man hidden in the shadows watching them.

"That is all, the whole story," Jacqueline said as she finished telling her story. Helena had listened quietly up until now.

Helena sighed, "We have an extra room, and perhaps it would be best if you stayed with us at night." Jacqueline looked up surprised. "You will still be seen with him, but… well it will only be for a few nights."

Jacqueline smiled, "Oh, thank you, Helena."

Helena shook her head. "I will ask Joseph to get a few of your things." Jacqueline nodded, grateful for being able to avoid d'Artagnan as long as possible.

"She will be staying with us at night. Give her a few days to calm down, and then when she is ready, she will talk to you," Joseph told d'Artagnan as he grabbed a few things for Jacqueline. "I will tell you when she is ready, you have my word." D'Artagnan nodded, knowing he did not have much of a choice in the matter.

D'Artagnan did not sleep well that night. He tossed and turned. Jacqueline barely spoke to him, though she smiled and pretended in public. He had plenty of time to think of what to say to her, as he was alone mostly. The servants always ended by dusk having finished their duties, and Jacqueline would stay until then reading a book, and then she would leave for Helena and Joseph's cabin. D'Artagnan let her go and waited for her talk to him, his patience growing thin as the days ticked by.

One day turned to two, and two turned to three and three was slowly becoming four he realized as he got in bed that night. They would land in England by morning after tomorrow. England and King Charles awaited them and it meant tomorrow was the last full day on the ship. D'Artagnan tossed in bed. Tomorrow he would speak to her. If she was still upset, so be it. It was time to put their differences aside. The mission was coming to a climax.