Title: Unexpected Changes
Authoress: Chi
Disclaimer: Demon Diary and its characters belong to the mangaka and
the publisher. I am neither. I write this not for profit, but for
entertainment purposes only. I am receiving nothing from this fic but
the satisfaction of writing.
Theme/Challenge (both number and theme title): 60. A Silence
Fandom: Demon Diary
Pairing: Raenef/Eclipse
Rating: PG-13 for shounen-ai.

A/N: I wrote this for the LJ community 100themes. I'm not too happy with it, but oh well. It's the best I could do for now. Enjoy!

Unexpected Changes

It was too quiet. He felt that if Raenef was silent for one more moment, one more second, that he would explode. Since they'd sat down to eat, the only sound in the dining hall had come from the clinking of their silverware on their plates. Raenef had not even greeted Eclipse. He'd just sat down in his usual spot, and begun eating. This had bothered Eclipse slightly. After all, Raenef had been gone for nearly a week with no explanations or anything. One minute he was there, the next he wasn't, but Eclipse didn't worry. It was starting to happen more and more frequently. The first few times that Raenef did this, Eclipse went out of his mind with worry. He searched for Raenef everywhere he could think of, but he always found him safe and sound and being his usual cheery self. When Raenef disappeared this time, Eclipse did nothing but wait for his return. He was anxious, of course. Raenef was very much a mischief-maker, but he knew it would be futile to chase after him, not to mention most unbecoming, though these days, Eclipse was less and less aware of what was becoming and what wasn't.

Finally, he'd had enough. He opened his mouth to speak, but Raenef beat him to it.

"Eclipse," he said, and he sounded small, tired, and even afraid. Eclipse had not heard him sound that way for a very long time.

"Yes, Lord Raenef?"

"I've been doing some thinking."

"Have you?"

"Yes," he said simply, but he did not elaborate any further.

"Are you going to tell me what you've been thinking about, or would you rather have me guess?" He'd meant for it to sound light-hearted, but instead it was accusing and Raenef looked at him with a slightly hurt look.

"I want to, Eclipse. You have no idea how badly I want to but," he hesitated before continuing, "it's hard though. I don't know how to put it, exactly." Eclipse reached out and put his hand on Raenef's head. He stroked his hair and offered him a rare smile.

"You don't have to," he said, and he meant it. He wouldn't deny that he wanted to know what was going on, but he wouldn't force Raenef into anything. In any case, he didn't think he had that power anymore, if he ever had it.

"No, I do. You have to know what's going on. It's difficult," he repeated. "I- I," he struggled to find the right words. "I'm done eating." He stood abruptly and left the dining room. Eclipsed looked at his still out-stretched hand. The door slammed shut behind Raenef, and Eclipse was once again left alone with only the silence as company.

II II II

It was unbearable. Raenef had disappeared again that night, right after dinner. It had been two weeks since then. The disappearances were happening more often and for longer periods of time. Every time he left, it opened another hole inside of Eclipse. He was scared, though he'd never admit it to anyone, not even Raenef. He was scared that, one day, Raenef would leave and never come back. Of course, he'd wondered where Raenef went and why. Did he perhaps have a lover? Why would he hide that from Eclipse? Was he sick of Eclipse? He hated that most of all, that doubting of himself. Eclipse was once a proud demon. He stood tall, his head held high, and now he doubted himself over a boyish demon lord. The quiet in the castle was killing him. It left him breathless and unable to concentrate on even the most menial of tasks. The quiet clouded his thinking, squeezed the life out of him until he was too tired to fight it.

He looked up from the book he had been trying to read. He had been reading one sentence over and over like a broken record playing in his mind. He sighed and closed the book. Idly, he wondered what Raenef would do if he came back to find that Eclipse had gone, but he knew that he could never abandon Raenef, even if only to give him a scare. Perhaps he was afraid that Raenef wouldn't care. He tried to clear his mind of all thought but failed. He settled instead on going to fetch himself a glass of water. He pictured the kitchen in his mind and said, "Go," as he had once taught Raenef to do. It seemed as though an eternity had passed since those days.

In the kitchen, he served himself the water, but didn't drink it. His eye was caught by a shadow right outside the kitchen doorway. He readied an attack and carefully poked his head out of the kitchen. It was Raenef.

"Lord Raenef, what are you doing here?" His back was to Eclipse, but he could recognize that hair anywhere. Raenef jumped about a foot in the air before spinning around to see who had interrupted him.

"Oh, Eclipse, it's just you." His hands where clasped together in front of him, as though he was holding something but didn't want it to be seen.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon." Raenef looked at him with a tinge of guilt.

"Sorry," he said before chuckling and adding, "How dare you admonish me, vermin?" He laughed out loud and was rewarded with a warm smile from Eclipse. At the sound of that laughter, Eclipse felt a strange thumping in his chest. This was the Raenef he knew.

"So, what do you have there?" he asked, motioning to his hands.

"Oh, it's just—," he stopped speaking and opted for showing him instead. He moved the top hand to reveal a tiny bird with a broken wing. "I saw it over by the tree, and I couldn't just leave it there, so I decided to bring it to try and help it." Eclipse looked down at the bird, still smiling. It was an ugly thing and looked as though it had just hatched. Patches of feathers were missing, and it was skinny and underfed. The mother had probably died. He was sure that, somewhere, there was a nest with more balding, malnourished birds. He ran his hand over the bird's wing, healing the bone. When he looked back at Raenef, the demon lord was looking at him, a strange light in his eyes.

"I didn't know you cared, Eclipse." He was smiling, but his voice was thick and a tear was running down his cheek. Eclipse wiped it away, a concerned expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered, his smile never faltering. He dumped the bird into Eclipse palm and whispered, "Go." In a blur, he was gone and Eclipse was left alone once again, wondering what just happened and what the hell birds ate.

II II II

There was a time, long before Raenef the fifth, a time when Raenef the fourth was new to the lordship. In those days, Eclipse looked for any possible moment when he could be alone. In those days, he enveloped himself in the silence and thinking of nothing came to him as easily as thinking of everything. In those days, his mind was quiet and while the war was going on outside, he could still find solace in the silence of the castle, but now, he was surprised at the relief he felt as he heard the birds' soft chirping, an interruption in that mind-numbing silence.

Raenef had been gone for a month. This was the longest he had ever been gone, but still, Eclipse did not worry. At least, if he did worry, he didn't show it. All he did all day was tend to the birds. After Raenef left, Eclipse had gone out, hitched up his skirt, and climbed the tree where Raenef had found the first hatchling. He saw that it was just as he thought. There was an abandoned nest with three other newly-hatched birds, and no mother in sight. Quickly and effortlessly, he took the nest down and cared for the birds himself. Now, their bright blue feathers had grown in and they were already learning how to fly, though they hadn't quite mastered the skill. Eclipse spent his days reading, cooking, and spending quality time with his birds. He named only one of them, the first one. He named it Raenef. He knew this was a pitiful thing to do, and at times he wondered about his own sanity, but the bird now knew his name, and it was too late to do anything about it.

It had taken him a while to figure out how to feed them. He knew that the mother ate the food, regurgitated it, and then served them from her mouth. Eclipse, however much he wanted to help the birds, was not willing to do such a thing. Later, he figured out that he could simply chew the food for them and feed it to them out of his hand. He still believed this to be quite degrading, but it wasn't as though anyone could see him doing it. He smiled slightly as he fed the birds, glad that they had regained their health. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of laughter behind him. Eclipse whirled around in shock. He didn't expect it to be Raenef, so he wasn't disappointed when he found that it was Krayon.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when the proud Eclipse would be spiting food into baby bird's mouth. I believe you've grown senile in your old age, Eclipse," he said, the laughter lighting up his eyes. The dark-haired demon only scowled.

"What are you doing here, Krayon?" he asked with a glare before turning away from the birds.

"I came by to see how you were doing. I saw your demon lord, you know. I was surprised to see him without you."

"I'm surprised to see you without Erutis," Eclipse countered.

"Oh, she doesn't know I'm here. She goes off hunting or something once a month. I don't know what exactly it is, but she disappears for about a week. When she first started doing it, I followed her, but then I saw her tear down a tree with her bare hands in three seconds flat and, let's just say that I let her have her privacy when she needs it." He chuckled. "But you still haven't answered me, why is your demon lord out there in the real world, while you're rotting here in this palace? Did he get tired of you?"

"I don't think it's any of your business," answered Eclipse. He wiped his hand on a towel and walked out of the aviary with Krayon trailing after him.

"Oh, come now. I haven't had decent gossip in weeks. Did you fight? Has he left you indefinitely? Are you going to live out your days like a retiree?" Eclipse stopped abruptly, causing Krayon to bump into him. He turned to face the blond demon.

"If you must now, Raenef also disappears every so often. He won't tell me why, and I won't pry it out of him either. So there you have it. He leaves. I stay. It's as simple as that."

"But why do you stay?" That was a good question, but Eclipse didn't have a good answer.

"I don't know," he grunted. "I suppose it's because I made a vow to Raenef, or more importantly, a promise. I promised that I'd never leave him, and I intend to fulfill my promise. After all, I am still a demon of my word, if nothing else." Krayon grinned and put an arm around Eclipse's shoulder.

"All right, then, rot here, but at least come and spend the day with me tomorrow. Erutis should be back after that and I need someone to kill time with until my beloved returns." He closed his eyes and gestured wildly with his hands to make himself seem more dramatic. "A few measly hours, Eclipse, that's all I ask. I'll be here tomorrow at sunset to collect you. Be ready!" he said jovially.

"Very well," answered Eclipse, but his words were heard only by the trees, for Krayon had already gone.

II II II

They entered the tavern inconspicuously. The hood of their cloaks hid their faces, but no cloak could hide Krayon's bouncy steps or cheery voice as he asked for mulled wine once they were sitting in squashy armchairs in the furthest corner of the room.

"I expected something stronger from you, Krayon," said Eclipse after he had ordered his own drink form the barmaid. Krayon shrugged.

"You have to start of slow if you expect to last the night," he said grinning. Eclipse pulled his hood down, the heat was starting to get to him, and he didn't even have his drink yet. Maybe coming out with Krayon wasn't such a good idea after all. He was worried about his birds, and he was worried about what would happen if Raenef arrived home and discovered him gone. He lowered his eyes and mentally kicked himself. Maybe Krayon was right; maybe he was going senile. He did his best to keep thoughts of home out of his mind and concentrate on the here and now. It wasn't very hard to do. Around the tavern, the mortals were being loud and boisterous. Eclipse frowned in distaste.

"Why did you choose this place, Krayon?" he asked, eyebrow raised elegantly.

"Every so often, one must mingle with the mortals, and beside that, they're quite fun when they're drunk."

"I'll take your word for it." The barmaid, a pretty girl in a tiny, frilly skirt, and a blouse that revealed generous amounts of her bosom, brought their drinks and winked at Krayon, who had also lowered his hood by now. As she leaned down to place Eclipse's drink in front of him, she thrust her breasts in his face and said huskily, "I also provide special services," before walking away. When she was out of hearing range, Eclipse laughed out loud. The sound was pleasing to Krayon's ears. He hadn't heard Eclipse laugh like that in a long time. Krayon scowled.

"What is it?" asked Eclipse, the laughter not quite gone from his eyes, and his mouth still smiling.

"Well, all she did was wink at me, but she offered you her 'special services,'" he answered in a mock sulky voice. "What do you have that I haven't, I want to know?" Eclipse flashed him a debonair smile.

"My dear, I have presence. I have charm, but above all, I have gorgeous hair." He took a sip from his mug.

"Hair? You think this is about hair?" Krayon swallowed his wine in one gulp, and called the barmaid over again. "Honey, those special services that you offer, are those by invite only?"

"No, mister," she said, throwing her breasts in Krayon's direction this time. Eclipse looked up at her use of the word 'mister.' "I do those services for anyone, but your friend here looked as though he could pay real good. Then again, so do you? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Only to drink," he answered returning her wink from before. He ordered a stronger drink.

"What about you, mister? You want another?"

"I'm not done with this one," he said.

"Yeah, bring him another," interrupted Krayon. He'll drink it when he's done with the first." She nodded and smiled before walking away to retrieve Krayon's drink.

"I'm not going to drink anymore," Eclipse said in a low voice.

"Yes, you are. That's why I brought you here. You really need to loosen up about your demon lord." They were silent until the barmaid returned. When she put Eclipse's drink in front of him, he was surprised to see that he had indeed finished with his first one and was longing for a second one.

"Oh, and keep them coming," he told her before she could walk away.

"Okay, mister," she said before going to check on someone else. Eclipse almost missed Krayon's sly smile, but he caught it before it faded. A part of him wondered what it was that he had gotten himself into. Another part of him didn't care.

II II II

When Krayon left Eclipse in the palace, he had a strange buzzing feeling in his head and his vision was slightly blurry. The sun had already started to rise and the sky was tinted with pinks and purples, shafts of sunlight illuminated the earth and sky. It didn't matter how late, or early, it was. He knew he had to check on the birds before going to sleep, but when he got to the aviary, he found that the door was open, and the birds were gone. Out of the shadows, where the sunlight didn't quite reach yet, came a voice he knew well.

"They flew away, one by one." He couldn't see him, but he knew it was Raenef who spoke to him now.

"They learned very quickly."

"They had a good teacher. I had a good teacher too."

"You still have me," he whispered as he stumbled towards the sound of the voice.

"I know," was the only reply. There was silence, and Eclipse stopped walking, though he swayed slightly on his feet. The breeze spoke their words for them, but neither could understand what it was saying. Leaves were falling of the trees as fall approached, and the air was filled with swirls of orange and yellow. As the sun rose higher, Eclipse could see more and more of Raenef, until he could see his face. His red eyes and wet eyelashes were not lost on Eclipse. It was obvious that the young demon lord had been crying.

"But do I still have you, Raenef?" Eclipse had been scared to ask, but he found that the alcohol had impaired his judgment and ability to restrain himself. The look in Raenef's eyes surprised Eclipse. It was confusion.

"Of course you do. You'll always have me."

"Really? You haven't been here lately, so I couldn't tell."

"I needed to figure stuff out."

"You needn't explain to me. A demon lord owes explanations to no one, especially not his servant." He didn't want to say those words, but he found that they came of their own accord.

"I'm sorry you feel like that, Eclipse. I still want to explain, but like I said before-"

"It's hard. I know." Raenef didn't answer. He simply nodded his assent. There was another long silence, which was broken by Raenef.

"I was so scared when I got here and couldn't find you. I thought you'd left me forever, and that you weren't ever coming back." His cast his gaze downward to hide his blush.

"I was scared every day, scared that you were never coming back, scared that you had finally grown bored of me."

"I could never grow bored of you." Eclipse reached out a hand to steady himself against a wall. He was finding it harder to stay awake. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep on his feet, but he needed to reply to Raenef first.

"Where have you been?" It was a substitute for the real questions he wanted to ask. Who have you been with? Did you find a lover somewhere, one that you must hide, even from me? What have you shown this lover? Have you shown them a side of yourself that you could never show me? Or worse yet, have you shown them the Raenef that belongs to me? Can you still be that Raenef? The boy with the puppy dog eyes, the warmth in his heart, and the big floppy grin, can you still be that boy for me?

"I've been everywhere, and yet no where, at all. I've traveled as far as my feet can take me, and yet I've seen nothing, because my heart has still been here with you."

"Then why leave?"

"I told you. I needed to figure stuff out."

"What stuff, Raenef? If you're going to tell me, then tell me, and stop beating around the proverbial bush!" He was starting to anger now. It felt as though his skin was on fire, and he knew that he might collapse at any moment, but he needed to know. He didn't want to know, but he needed to. Still, Raenef said nothing. "All right then, don't tell me." He pushed himself off the wall to stand up straight. He pictured his bedroom in his mind, and softly he whispered, "Go."

He landed on his bed with a soft plop. In seconds, another soft plop was heard as a second body landed on his bed.

"Okay, Eclipse, I'll tell you, but you have to look me in the eye. I can't do it otherwise." He pulled himself up and rested his head against the headboard of his bed. He opened his bleary eyes and looked right into Raenef's silver-blue ones. Raenef hesitated for a moment, but when he saw that Eclipse's eyes where falling close again, he blurted out what he needed to say before he lost the courage.

"I'm in love with you." Eclipse blinked once. The fog lifted from is brain in a flash.

"What?" he asked disbelievingly.

"I know it sounds weird, but it's true. At first, I left just to get away from you. I didn't know what the feeling was but for a long time, every time I looked at you I got this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. It burned my eyes when I looked at you, and I didn't know what to do. So I ran away. I guess that's always my solution, isn't it? I was scared of telling you about it. What if you thought I was weird or something? Then you found me, and I didn't know what to say, so I just came back. Eventually, you stopped looking for me. I was sad, but I also understood that you couldn't chase me forever, and besides wasn't what I wanted to run away? Yet, I couldn't help coming back. Every time I left, I tried my best to stay away, but you always called me back to you. I ached for you every time you weren't around. I needed you so badly." Raenef talked until his lungs were sore. He talked because he was afraid of the silence. He was afraid of what would happen if he gave Eclipse a chance to say something, anything, but he was more afraid of the void. It was much more frightening to imagine Eclipse saying nothing at all, than to imagine him saying something cruel. So he talked to fill every moment with sound, he talked so much that Eclipse found himself getting drowsy again. Finally, he'd had enough.

"Quiet," he said, not yelling, but loud enough for Raenef to hear him over his own voice. Instantly, Raenef shut up, and reluctantly allowed the quiet to fill the air, and Eclipse was quiet for a very long time. He concentrated very hard on processing the information that Raenef had just thrown at him. He knew very well how he felt about the demon lord, and he'd known for a very long time, but Eclipse was nothing if not a demon of propriety, and it was most certainly not proper for a tutor to fall in love with his student, much less for a servant to fall in love with his lord. On the other hand, he'd never dreamed that Raenef would return his emotions. He knew Raenef was affectionate, and that Eclipse held an important place in his heart, but he didn't think it would escalate to something so profound. A fear gripped his chest suddenly. What if it hadn't escalated to something so profound? What if Raenef was simply confused? After all, demon lords had hormones too, and Raenef, even though his personality had melded with his "other half" and Raenef the fourth, was still not completely polished as a demon lord. Therefore, it would be easy for him to confuse lust for love. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a small, scared voice.

"Eclipse, please, say something." He looked up and met Raenef's eyes. His heart jumped to his throat, and he struggled to swallow it back down again. In his eyes, Eclipse saw pain, fear, confusion, despair, but looking deeper, he found that they glowed with a strange light, and it took him a moment before he recognized it for what it was: love.

Still, he did not speak. Instead, he leaned forward and covered Raenef's lips with his own, kissing him softly. He tasted of something sweet that he couldn't quite place, something that reminded him of days long past, of things he wanted to remember but that were right outside his reach, almost attainable. He kissed Raenef with all the power he had, letting his emotions run freely as he begged for entrance with his tongue. Raenef was quick to comply, opening his mouth and meeting Eclipse's tongue with his own. It was a dance, he realized. Their tongues were dancing to music that only they could hear. No, he changed his mind. Their tongues were dancing to the silence and cherishing it, and as his lips parted and he wrapped his arms tightly around Eclipse, whispering softly into his ear, "you taste like alcohol," he cherished the silence too.

"It's because I drank alcohol. Krayon took me out drinking. I think he wanted me to forget you."

"I thought he was with Erutis now."

"He is, but she's going through her menstrual cycle."

"What's that?" Eclipse laughed.

"You don't want to know." Raenef quickly changed his mind. There was something he cherished more than the silence, and that was the sound of Eclipse's laughter. The sound tugged at his heart and made the corners of his own mouth lift up into a smile.

"Do you have a menstrual cycle too? Do I?" Eclipse continued laughing, and by now he was laughing so hard that he couldn't even answer the question. By the time he was done, Raenef had fallen asleep, one hand curled around a strand of his hair. Eclipse pulled the covers over both of them, and prepared himself for the quiet of a sleep-filled room, but as his eyes closed and he began to fall asleep, he heard the singing of a bird outside his window. He was sure that if he had looked, it would have been a fairly small bird with bright blue plumage.

"Thank you," he whispered, before pulling Raenef against him and falling asleep himself.

II II II