Thanks once again to the fab melanie39 for being a great beta.

Dislaimer – I own nothing except a huge crush on Ben McKenzie, that's all mine…Ohhh and Missy is mine too!

Come Undone

Chapter 17

Missy awoke to find Ryan already up and standing over by the window looking out. She lay in bed and watched him for a while. He just stood; she had never met anyone who had the capacity for that level of stillness before. Ryan's friend from Newport was a ball of frenetic energy but Ryan was so economical with his movements. He just stood stock still obviously deep in thought, probably worrying about the possible return to Juvie and what the Cohens would say about his second disappearing act in a week. She felt a bit creepy just watching him even though it was something she could do for hours, so she made an exaggerated yawning sound and flung back the sheets.

"What time is it?" she stretched.

Ryan looked at his watch but didn't turn around.

"6.10am"

"Urgh…early! What are you doing up?"

Ryan turned around and sat down on the bed, he looked like he hadn't slept all night.

"Missy, there's something I need to do before I go back…I need a lift to Chino. I need to see my mom."

Missy looked confused.

"But I thought you didn't know where she was?"

"I know where she is…I saw her a few days ago. She's living in a fleapit up by The Grove. Missy, I was a real asshole last time I saw her and I don't want to leave it like that."

Ryan didn't mention that he had scared himself that day. He didn't like to think of how close he had come to losing it. He remembered balling his fists and having the urge to punch and his mother was the only other person in the room. He'd been thinking a lot about that day. Maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree after all. His father had a quick temper and thought nothing of hitting a woman. Dawn had had the black eyes to prove it. Ryan remembered reading in an article that some kids growing up in an abusive environment became abusers or bullies themselves. He had always thought that was crap but now the seed had been sown in his brain and it scared the hell out of him. He had seen the fleeting look of fear in her eyes. He had to make things right with his mom.

"Are you sure about this? I mean you've had a rough few days…I don't think you need anymore shit to deal with and from what I remember about your mom… nice as pie one minute and a harpy the next."

Ryan couldn't help the slight smile at Missy's rather accurate description of Dawn.

"Yeah, I need to do this. If we leave now then I can be back here in a few hours and it'll still be early. I don't want to piss Sandy off anymore than I have already."

Missy knew he was going to do this with or without her, so she nodded.

"Give me ten minutes and we'll be away."

The car pulled up in front of the apartment building. Ryan got out.

"Thanks for everything Melissa, I'll see you around?"

"Whoa there Ryan, I'm not going anywhere. I'm waiting and I'm driving you back and don't even think of arguing with me!"

"But…"

"What did I just say…no arguments!" Missy took the keys out of the ignition and folded her arms.

Ryan lent into the car and gave her a kiss.

"Thanks, I shouldn't be long."

"I'll be waiting babe."

Ryan found himself in front of the blue door again. If he was lucky Dawn would have slept off the excesses of the day before, if not he'd just turn around and leave. He knew from experience that there was no use in talking to her when she was half cut.

He knocked on the door. He felt apprehensive enough but when the voice from inside boomed 'You better have a real good excuse for knocking at this time of the morning' his heart sank.

The door swung open and the man mountain that was A.J stood there, clad only in his underpants and a stained tee shirt.

"What the fuck are YOU doing here?" AJ elegantly reached down and scratched his ass.

"Pleasure to see you again too AJ, I'm here to see mom."

AJ stared at Ryan with a look of pure disdain before he turned around and yelled.

"Dawn, it's for you."

Dawn emerged from the back of the apartment, pulling on her robe. She looked up as she tied the sash around her waist.

"Ryan?"

"If those rich fuckers have kicked him out he ain't staying here!" AJ spat at Dawn.

Dawn looked nervously from AJ to Ryan, then back to AJ.

"Can you give us a moment?"

AJ looked at Ryan again, like he was something that had just crawled out from under a rock.

"Yeah…. like I'm interested in what the little prick has to say anyway." He walked over to the fridge and got a beer out, then retreated back to the bedroom and slammed the door.

Dawn shut the door behind Ryan, then sat down on the sofa and picked up her cigarettes. She looked at Ryan coldly.

"What are you doing here Ryan?"

Ryan tried to get it clear in his head what he wanted to say.

" I'm sorry mom…. I wanted to apologise. I didn't mean what I said, I was just pissed…"

"You didn't answer my question Ry. Why do you keep coming back here to Chino? You've got it made with the Cohens; you're better than this now. You don't belong here."

"But I just wanted to see you…I just wanted…" Ryan stumbled over his words.

" Ryan, you were right the other day… as long as I've got my ass-hole boyfriends and my drink, I'm happy."

Ryan cringed as his angry words came back to haunt him.

"You're sixteen Ryan. It's time for you to make your own life and that ain't here anymore. You got that? Jeez Ry, you're not stupid. Why do you think I didn't get in contact with you? I knew where you were…I didn't want to Ryan, I didn't want to…I've had enough of playing mommy…I got my own life now."

She lit the cigarette and looked him in the eye. Ryan stood with his head tilted and a frown on his face as he processed her words.

"I don't want you around me anymore Ryan, it's time for you to move on. You got that now kiddo? Just leave me alone."

"But mom…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those things."

Ryan could hear the whine in his voice; she didn't mean it, did she? Ryan felt another piece of him die, like the time outside the pool house when she had walked away that day.

" Dammit Ryan, you understand English don't you? They teach that at your fancy new school don't they? You said it … we're finished…go back to your new family. Don't come here again. Go!"

Dawn watched as Ryan slowly turned and made his way to the door. He looked back at her then opened it. She held it together until she heard his footsteps on the stairs, that was when she let the tears flow.

AJ came into the room and sat down next to her.

"Has that little shit upset you again, cause I'll go and kick his ass if he has."

Dawn shook her head and buried her chin into his chest and sobbed. How could she tell AJ that this was the hardest thing she had had to do, to reject Ryan again? She had made such a mess of her life and she had dragged her boys down with her. Ryan had a shot, a chance to make something of himself but all the while she was here with AJ it wouldn't work. AJ and Ryan had always been engaged in a pissing contest. As Ryan had gotten older and retaliated more, their fights had intensified.

Dawn was so scared that one day Ryan wouldn't bounce back from one of their vicious brawls…. and that was a thought that she couldn't take, knowing that the man she had chosen to be with might one day kill her son. That would be too much for her to bear. She hadn't protected him from his father…the least she could do was protect him from AJ. She just hoped that one day he'd understand.

Missy knew something was seriously wrong with Ryan the instant he got in the car and told her to take him back to Newport. He looked so pale and drawn. She'd tried to speak to him but he had just silently stared out of the window. Shit! She had known that this was a bad idea. She wondered what that cow of a mother had said to him. It made her want to turn the car around and go back and bitch slap the woman. As they approached Newport Ryan quietly gave her directions to the house. As they were waved past the security gate Missy just gawked, open-mouthed at the houses. Wow, what a place to live! This certainly beat Chris's ratty squat. She followed Ryan's directions and pulled up outside the Cohens' house. Ryan got out of the car. Missy followed, she wrapped her arms around him as he stood in a daze and whispered.

"What happened Ryan...Tell me."

The front door opened and Missy stepped away from Ryan, self-conscious under the glare that Mr Cohen was giving them.

" Ryan, go into the house." His voice said he meant business.

Ryan looked at Missy; he mouthed the word 'thanks' then walked past Sandy without looking at him.

Missy tried to pull down her short shirt with one hand and held out her other hand in greeting.

"Hi, I'm Melissa Simpson, we didn't really meet the other night."

Sandy ignored her hand.

" What do you think you're doing with Ryan?"

"I'm sorry?" Missy blushed.

" How old are you Melissa, cause I'm guessing you're a lot older than sixteen."

"I'm twenty one but…"

"No, you listen to me. He's a kid…you're an adult. He's on probation and the last time he was with you he overdosed on drugs and I can only guess what else he's been doing with you…I suggest you stay away from him unless you want me to report to the police that you've been corrupting a minor."

Shit, he really had the Lawyer speak down pat Missy thought.

"It's not like that Mr Cohen…He needed someone to…"

"So you're telling me you haven't been sleeping with him?"

Missy blushed again.

"No but...well yes…Mr Cohen it's not like that, I care about him and it's not like I was the only one instigating it…"

Crap! Way to dig yourself into a hole girl.

Sandy stepped forward, invading her space.

"My son told me that you used to go out with Trey, that you know about what went on in that family."

Missy felt her throat tighten.

"He's still a kid and laying this at his door is wrong Melissa. You're the adult here, think long and hard about what you know about his past and then think about how a sixteen-year-old kid gets to be sexually precocious. I won't have another adult use Ryan like that."

Was he implying what she thought he was?

Missy felt sick. It wasn't wrong what she felt for Ryan but Mr Cohen had tainted it. Ryan wasn't like a sixteen year old, he wasn't.

"Stay away from him."

She nodded. Mr Cohen turned and stalked into the house.

Missy stumbled to the car and started the engine. She had really fallen for Ryan and now Mr Cohen had sullied it…made it dirty, made her feel dirty. It wasn't wrong…

Missy drove away, tears streaming down her face.

Tbc.

Read and review cause I'm such a needy person!