Kill Raiden VOL. I
Snake and I were Just bullshiting in our favorite bar drinking shots of JD and smoking cigs when he brought up the name of the person I hate the most Raiden.
Snake: 10 of Son of Liberty WTF.
Me: Yeah that pissed me off, what did Hideo tell you about that?
Snake: He wanted a more caring character, so you could feel his pain.
Me: Bullshit!
Snake: Yeah, but what you gonna do?
Me: I'll show you what I'm going to do!
(So I grabed my coat jumped on my hog and made my way to Konami)
Me: Hideo, where can I find freak boy?
Hideo: Not this again!
Me: Yes this again, I going to make sure that MGS2 was Raiden last game and the only way to do that is to make sure he takes a long dirtnap!
Hideo: Is this like your crusade against 30 min cutscenes?
Me: Kinda.
Hideo: I give up, here take his address!
Me: Sweet!
(So here it was, me vs. the naked kartwheeling ninja, the final endgame any of those stupid cliches could fit.)
Me:stands at the door with Tommygun in coatHello, anybody in there!
Raiden:comes to door in pink apron Ohh hi Bigger Boss, I was just cleaning, come in, come in.
Me:pulls out Chicago typewriter I don't think so, wuss! fires at point blank range
Raiden:backflips and whips out Katana and blocks the shots
Me: Nice, but that butterknife can't save you now! tosses anti personal grenade into the apartment
(grenade goes off, smoke fills the hallway, I reload)
Me: Well that was easy. Now to go egg Fishers house and it's Miller time!
(Raiden sneakes up behind me but the floor squeaks and I fire a 5 round burst behind my back but he had all ready coldcocked me)
(I wake up on the Big Shell heliport dazed and confused)
Me: What! Where am I!
Raiden:jumps down from Harrier Welcome to Big Shell! Prepare to meet your end, I have rigged this Harrier to fire one rocket at you in 3 minutes, which will give me enough time to escape!
Me: You Bastard!
Raiden: There is no escape!
Me: You forget I am the author, I can do anything I want! whips out notepad writes "add gray fox to save me and give me his HF blade"
(Gray fox slices cable and hands over his HF blade)
Raiden: I thought you were on my side?
Me: Thats the other Ninja Mr.X . Now lets get it on!
(Kickass blade fight ensues I 'm not good at play by plays, lets just say it dosen't end well)
Me:gets HF knocked out of hands Shit!
Raiden:rasies blade Hahaha!
(I do a quick roll dodge and whip out my trusty notepad)
Me:writes in Ocelot giving me a hand
(bullets hits Radien's HF and he drops it)
Ocelot: I am the great Shalashaska, or better known as Revolver
Me/Ocelot: Ocelot!
Ocelot: Why do people keep doing that?
(I shrug, he tosses me his Peacemaker)
(I fire but Raiden backflips and cartwheels avoiding all my shots, then just as I was going to fire my last chamber he knocks me half way across the Heliport )
Raiden: I'm better than Snake ever was hahahah!
(I notices that he standing right behind the Harrier )
Me:doing my best Die Hard impersonation Hey Jack?
Raiden: What?
Me: Jump over the candle stick!
(I fire around into the cockpit which ricochetes and hits both throttles sending a 40 ft. flame out the back, burning Radien and sending him over the edge)
Me: dusting myself off Well that takes care of that.
(I jump in the Harrier and make a triumphant take off, but just as I am about to leave Big Shell airspace Metal Gear Ray surfaces)
Raiden: Hahahahahh cough Ha!
Me: Crap, what does it take to kill you!
Raiden: Nothing can stop me now!
Me: We'll see about that. calls Otacon Hey pal can I ask you one tiny favor?
Otacon: What do you need?
Me: I need you to redirect a nuke to Big Shell to stop Raiden, who's in Ray.
Otacon: spits out coffe What!
Me: Please !
Otacon: No!
Me: Do it or I will burn every last one of you Anime dvd to their basic elements!
Otacon: Ok, but this will take some time.
Me: How much?
Otacon: Five minutes.
Me: Ok, I can hold him off for that long.
( Raiden fires Ray's built-in Stinger missles, I get them to follow me then send them right into Ray. I keep doing this because every boss in evey game has a pattern.)
Otacon: Bigger Boss get out of there!
(I see the nuke on the horizon and high tail it out of there, the blast rips Ray apart as I make my escape, and here I am in the bar about to have a drink. )
Snake: So you're back.
Me: Yep.
(Just then someone enters the bar, you guessed it, Raiden)
Me: What the ?
Raiden: Hey guys, barkeep one nearbeer please!
Me: I give up !
Snake: Take a shot of this, you'll forget all about it.
Me: Thanks.
The End !
Well if you good people could review I'll be all set for a new fic.