Disclaimer: I do not own House or Wilson, but oh if I did... Also, the dialogue is not mine, it belongs to the wonderful writers and all the people who make money off the show. I don't own it, I just play with it.
Author's Note: Any constructive criticism is welcome. I've had this scene running around in my head for weeks, so I hope I did it justice.
"Why did you order the second AIDS test?"
What kind of question is that? Wilson's a regular boy scout. He won hundreds of merit badges for tying a tie and making sure his sweater vests match his socks. He's probably read the hospital manuals five times and can recite them in as many languages. So he should know the upcoming answer...
"Standard procedure."
"Oh well that's you, Mr. Standard Procedure."
Standard procedures are over rated. Most of the time... It's easy to tell that he's honing in his radar as he narrows his eyes in ill-concealed suspicion.
"You suspected the first test was a false positive?"
"I - "
Have to think fast around Wilson, that's for damn sure -
" - knew he was going to Africa and I figured he was vaccinated for Hep A and B. That could cause a false positive."
If I were able, I think a victory dance would be entitled for quick mindedness like mine.
"Yeah, but you knew that before you ordered the first test. What changed?"
If Wilson's anything, it's persistent. I suppose some would say he'd have to be in order to have the honor of being my closest friend for so long. I take on a bored tone, which comes easy after so many years of practice.
"I should have ordered both."
"You were sure he had AIDS. Then you talked to him, then you had doubts. What did he say?"
I never lie.
"He said he had not engaged in any risky behavior."
"Huh. And you believed him?"
"He had no reason to lie."
Wilson moves forward, piecing the clues together. He always did love mysteries. His hands come up, motioning, pointing occasionally to punctuate his words.
"Everybody lies except politicians? - "
He's on a roll. When did he become so damn observant?
" - House, I believe you're a romantic. You not only believed him, you believed in him. - "
A thrust of his fist and that ungodly smirk. Christ. He's having fun, Vicodin Gods help me.
" - Do you wanna come over tonight, watch old movies, and cry? - "
More incessant pointing.
" - Dr. Cameron's getting to you. Well I guess you can't be around that much niceness and not get any on you."
Don't do it, Wilson. He's boarding onto the Titanic of conversation topics and all that's left is one lone life jacket...
"Is that why you haven't put the moves on her?"
Try and smirk your way out of that.
"What makes you think I haven't put the moves on her?"
I muster up my best 'You're married, you moron, ' look and aim straight for the heart. It backfires, I realize too late.
"Oh. Oh boy!"
It's possible for him to talk without pointing, I know it. I'm sure I've witnessed it before.
He backs away, grinning that Wilson grin, worthy of the Cheshire Cat. He allows himself a small chuckle (although it's more accurate to say I allow him a small chuckle).
"You're in trouble."
... Yeah.