Chapter Six: A Door To Certain Death

"I realize how this must sound," she said, "and that it is simultaneously melodramatic and rather silly, but— I'm scared to death of dying."

"Yes," said her companion gravely, "it does sound silly."

Sarah walked on through the Labyrinth, taking in the various changes of landscape, textures of the walls, materials of the floors, colors of the sky, patterns in the air. She found a few more hidden openings and took them without hesitation, congratulating herself on her cleverness.

She came to a section of irregularly-tiled floor, a wider space, full of columns. On each of the column was a hand, a finger extended, each pointing in a different direction. Sarah frowned at them, venturing closer to examine one in particular. It seemed to point straight at a wall, and looked entirely lifelike. She bent closer to it in order to inspect it; and suddenly the fingers bunched together and the hand flicked her on the nose.

She shrieked and stumbled backwards. There was a sharp burst of derisive laughter from behind her.

She turned, catching, out of the corner of her eye, a flash of black that looked like a cape. Perhaps, she thought, it was Erik, come back. But it did not move like Erik—

The prospect of it being someone else frightened her a bit, and so she put it out of her mind.

The laughter, anyway, seemed to be coming from two guardsmen who stood, playing gatekeeper to two ornate, wrought-iron doors. She ventured closer to them; they stared blankly at her, eyes straight ahead. They did not look likely to laugh at her.

"Excuse me," she said, "did you just— laugh at me?"

The guards' eyes shifted as they glanced sideways at each other. One of them wrinkled his nose and issued a slight sneeze.

"No," he said.

Sarah frowned.

"Are you sure? I was positive I heard laughing."

"Not us," said the other guard.

Sarah narrowed her eyes at them, then turned her backs to them. Immediately there came another burst of merriment, and she whirled around and strode forward.

"I know I heard it that time! You're laughing at me, aren't you?"

"Not us, not us!" said the first guard, waving his hands. His body seemed to be hidden behind a large shield, above which his head peeked out slightly, revealing only a bit of his neck and his hands. He tapped his claws on the shield and wriggled his nose again with another sigh.

Sarah frowned.

"Who, then?"

A head popped out from underneath each of the shields, and two voices called in chorus, "We did it! We did it!"

Sarah stepped back, but managed to keep from crying out in her surprise. It was about time, she felt, that she was past that. She stared at the four faces that peered at her with identical expressions of amused curiosity.

"Who are you?"

"That depends," said the first. "Who are you?"

She frowned. "Sarah."

"That's what I thought," said the first, and wrinkled his nose. Sarah put her hands on her hips.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Out of all the people wandering the Labyrinth at the moment," interjected the second, "only one of them doesn't know enough to keep out of reach of the Pointers. Unless you like being flicked."

"Always a possibility," said his companion from underneath him.

"There are other people in the Labyrinth?" inquired Sarah, worried by this news.

"Several," said the first. "Or, some, at least."

"A few."

"Three."

"You, and two others."

She opened her mouth to ask who, then decided it was not worth it. Undoubtedly, Erik was one of the others, and at the moment she did not care to hear about him. He could make his own way. Instead, she said, "What about these doors? Are you guarding them?"

They looked at each other.

"We're guardsmen," said the second, "so— yes?"

"What are you guarding them from?"

The second one sneezed as a fly landed on his nose. "Whose to say that we are guarding them from anything?"

"Perhaps we're guarding you," said the first. "Guarding you from them."

Sarah crossed her arms. "Where do they lead?"

"Now you ask a direct question," said the first Underneath guardsman, looking up at her. "You expect us to answer that, do you?"

"If you would be so kind," said Sarah.

"Well, I can't."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know the answer!" he said.

Sarah sighed and her shoulders slumped. "Now what do I do?" she asked.

The four guardsmen watched her, their noses twitching simultaneously.

"You might try," said the first Underneath, kindly, "asking one of the others."

Sarah blinked at him, then glanced at the Above guardsmen, who smiled at her. "I didn't think of that!"

"That's your trouble then," said the first Above, "not knowing when to think and when not to think. Its vitally important that you realize which is which, otherwise your airplane banana might trip on the clenched wire wrench sparrow in shallow petunias."

The second one pointed at the first and said, triumphantly, "See! Not thinking! That's where not thinking gets you!"

"Alright," said Sarah after a slight pause. "Where do they go, then?"

"What?" asked the second one, brightly.

"The doors."

"What doors?"

"Those doors!" She sighed. "Look, I'll start again. Tell me where those doors lead to. Please?"

"Right then!" said the first. "One of them leads to the castle, and the other one leads to— drumroll please—"

The three others drummed on the shield with their claws.

"Thank you— certain death!"

They all made, "Oooooooh," noises. Sarah frowned slightly.

"How do I tell which is which?"

They blinked at her.

"Alright," she said. "Tell me which is which."

"We should warn you before we speak," said the first, in a cautionary tone, "that one of always lies, and one of us always tell the truth. It's the rules."

"Exactly," said the second. "The rules. I always tell the truth. He always lies."

"That's not true! I tell the truth!"

"Liar."

"You're the liar!"

"Oooh, what a lie!

The Underneath guardsmen snickered to themselves, adding to Sarah's confusion. She put her fingers to her temples and frowned in concentration.

"Alright, look, look," she said, cutting short the discussion and the laughter. She faced the first one. "Would he tell me that his door leads to the castle?"

The first one frowned, wiggled his nose, and consulted in a hushed whisper with his Underneath companion. Then he looked back at Sarah.

"Yes," he said.

Sarah nodded. "Then— then the other door leads to certain death, and this one leads to the castle."

They all made appreciative noises.

"How do you figure? He could be telling the truth!"

"But then you would be lying. So the answer would be no."

"Oh yes? But suppose I was telling the truth."

"But then he would be lying. So the answer would still be no."

There was snickers from the Underneath guardsmen and the Above ones glanced at each other.

"Is that right?"

"I don't know!" said the second one, shrugging rapidly. "I've never understood it!"

"No, its right," said Sarah. "I know it is."

She stepped up to the door determinedly and squared her shoulders. A smile crossed her face. "I can't believe it. I've never been able to answer riddles before! I think I'm getting smarter!"

The guardsmen watched her open the door, shrugging to herself.

"Pity," said the second one, "I rather liked her."

"Too trusting," said the first one. "Its naive to believe that just because someone is telling you the rules, they aren't simply making it up as they go along."

But Sarah was too far gone to hear, advancing down the path, the happy smile still on her face.

The ground gave out beneath her.

She fell.

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