Disclaimer: Still can't use Jack.
AN (3/30): I feel like I have a little explaining to do. Here it is: these are one shots. Not meant to be anything but the thoughts of the various women...you'll see how different people view Captain Jack Sparrow. I started out on an easy one that most people would relate to...I'm trying to create as many different females as possible, actually.
One Night Stands: Number Two
I hate Captain Jack Sparrow. That man...there has never been a more pompous man on the face of the earth, you know? He certainly didn't impress me, when I ran into him at a jewelry shop in Nassau. Sure, he had those handsome dark eyes and that perfect nose...but his personality was coarse and his manner...well, very crude. Especially annoying and demeaning were his comments about me. I was a nun, after all. I'd devoted myself to helping the poor and getting people to stop their sinning ways... And he had the gall to say that he thought I'd look better without my habit on. The nerve of that man...
In front of the Mother Superior, as well. Mother Mary had been livid...mostly at me. Because I'd cracked a smile. I was supposed to be the figurative bride of Christ and I'd cracked a smile at a few of his lewd jokes. I knew I would be locked in my room for a week for that. And it wasn't my fault! That stupid pompous pirate...and his almost irresistible good looks and charisma. I'd only been smiling at him...not at the joke. Regardless, Mother Mary had quickly sold the jewelry left to us by a repentant heiress and had forced the rest of the nuns out of the store. I'd been trailing behind, dreading the tongue lashing I knew I'd receive...
When suddenly, the shop was surrounded by redcoats. Captain Jack Sparrow had been discovered. Which was good...the man would get what he deserved. Unfortunately, he didn't see things the same way I did. And he grabbed me. Used me as a human shield.
I'll never forget the looks in the eyes of that blonde soldier (who'd been the commander, based on his appearance) as he debated with himself as to whether he should just shoot through me to kill that most infamous man because I was guaranteed a place in heaven or whether he should try to save me. Thankfully, his bright eyes decided it would be best to save me. Not that I wouldn't have loved to go and meet my God...but...I wanted to live and help His children on this earth. Dying wasn't in my schedule. Or, so I hoped. I'm sure I heaved an almost audible sigh of relief when I realized the man wasn't going to shoot me...
And that rapscallion, Jack Sparrow...he heard it. And he knew that he could get out of the store. It had no windows in the back and only one door, after all. It would've been impossible for him to conjure up one of his miraculous escapes if I hadn't been there. I didn't like being used as leverage...and I let him know by biting him as he easily picked me up and started walking towards the door, staring at the redcoats much like a man with a stick of fire stares at circling hyenas...with fake bravery. The man really was terrified for his life...even though he gave no visible signs of it, I could tell his hand was trembling slightly as he pushed open the door. That's when I bit the trembling hand.
He'd cursed up a storm and had nearly set me down...until the redcoats within started swarming out like a bunch of very angry honey bees defending their nest. Glaring at me in a manner that almost made me feel as though he'd undressed me and hated me all at the same time, he picked me up again and made a mad dash to the forest. I'm sure it looked rather funny to the innocent bystanders...but I was getting a bit sick with all the rocking and swaying. Couldn't he stay sober for an hour? Honestly, I'd never seen someone swagger as much as him, unless they were toddlers first learning how to walk.
I must admit he had an odd sort of grace, as he gently sat me down on a rock in the forests near Nassau. He could almost fall down...and catch himself. Had a fluid sort of motion about him. It was hard to describe. And I wasn't paying attention to him. No...I was thinking of ways to escape. What nun in their right mind would want to be kidnaped by a man who probably had more children than some king of Siam? If they were a good nun, that is. Some of the nuns weren't very good at abstaining from relations with men...of course, those were hushed up.
He stared right back at me for the longest time, no doubt picturing me without my habit on again. Or...maybe he was trying to gauge my personality. I don't know. Nor do I care to know...but it made me feel extremely self conscious. So I asked him why he was staring at me...
He replied with some nonsense about the fact that my eyes were the exact same color as the sea on a blissful day and that my hair was like gold. Drivel. Obviously he had only one goal in mind. I wasn't entirely sure what it was, since I'd been raised in a good Catholic family and had joined the convent after my fiancé died in that pirate attack (he'd been attacked by the Black Pearl, coincidentally) all those years ago...I didn't know why I was supposed to fear men like Jack Sparrow.
He seemed to realize that. And stopped trying to seduce me, after I slapped him across the face and demanded that he take me back home. Of course...he'd said he'd love to. But he couldn't, since it wasn't safe. For him. Perfectly safe for me...but I believed him. I swear there was something about those dark eyes...they were binding me with some sort of enchantment that was letting my passions take over.
He found some rodents in the forest, made a fire, and actually cooked me a meal. It was surprisingly good...and Jack told me he'd always been rather gifted at cooking. It was very believable...how he made the food taste that good I'd never know. Not that I cared. It was good food and I was very hungry and I'd been taught never to waste food.
Once we'd finished our meager meal, he talked with me about all my dreams and aspirations in life. He actually pried out why I'd joined the convent...and had apologized for the actions of his first mate. Apparently my hate in Jack had been...well, a bit unfounded. I asked for his forgiveness...which he readily gave me.
And I found myself drowning in those dark eyes of his. In fact, I must've given him quite the wrong impression..because soon he was kissing me. With a sort of passion I'd never experienced, or even seen between a man and a woman. The kiss was so nice, in fact, I didn't even mind as he started stripping my habit off. How could I mind? I'd been enchanted by that dastardly man. My vows of celibacy were forgotten that night. That unforgettable night I realized that virginity...well, its nice. But when the right man comes along...
Jack would undoubtedly stay with me forever, right? After our little activity ended, I fell asleep in his arms. It was so comforting, being in his arms. I was able to forget about my fears of the jungle, actually. It didn't matter that we were sleeping on my ripped up habit, just to keep from getting too dirty...I was content. With a man who understood me.
And who apparently didn't really love me. I awoke the next morning, shivering something awful. He was gone. That miserable wretch was gone! He'd left me...he'd left me all alone for no bloody reason.
I cursed for the first time in my life. I cursed badly, yes, but I still cursed. And cried. I thought it had been something special, after all... Yet...he'd left me. All alone, naked...what would Mother Mary say?
After I managed to collect myself, I put my ripped habit on as best as I could and staggered my way back to Nassau. I'd tell them all I'd been raped. Yes. That would work.
I hate Captain Jack Sparrow.
sunkist3208: Betcha don't picture yourself as this one. At least, I hope not. But she's not the worst one...no, she's coming...
Yes, he lied to the last woman. He's going to lie to all of 'em, I think, because that's how he gets them to play with him, or what have you.
Thanks for the hat!
Novthoniel: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter.
CrazyPirateGirl: I like the short chapters too. They're easy to do quickly...I still have time to do my calculus, actually...
Thank you so much for the encouraging review! I'm glad you like the idea...
I don't think she's really a victim either...none of these women will be raped by Jack. Perhaps conquest is a better term...
SpAnIsH-EyEs2: It is kinda like Don Juan De Marco, now that you mention it. Good movie, that was. Of course, it made me mum rather uncomfortable...
Thanks for the encouragement!
Mimi-chan: Thanks for the constructive critique! Not many people do that any more...
It did have a bad ending, didn't it? Of course, I couldn't think of any other way to end it...hence the bad ending. Sometimes I like cutting things off abruptly...maybe her husband came home, while she was telling her closest friend or whatever...dunno.
I'll try to remember more physical detail...of course, if you want to see my much more serious work with physical detail, feel free to click on my screen name.
The Ring Two was very predictable...yet, my little brother still got frightened by it. An' he's fifteen...weirdness.
Thanks again for the constructive criticism!
Missy Mouse: Ooh! I love Chicago. And that song. Maybe that's partly where this idea came from...
Anyway, thanks for the review! I felt a little sorry for the first one, too...but she was a cheating little aristocrat, after all...
Jack: I'm starting out a bit more serious than some of the women will be. Trust me, some of these women will have you chuckling...at least, the ones I've imagined will. Maybe I won't get their personalities on paper...yet to be determined.
Thanks for the support!
Ang.: I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. -nods- I probably won't be able to update as often...Tis the start of fourth term, after all, and the AP tests are coming up in May...
Anyway, I hope this was fast enough for ya! I appreciate the review!
Raisin: I had a feeling you'd like this idea...I'm tickled pink by it, actually. Because he's going to spend time with a whole different variety of women...
I wish I knew what it is really like, being kissed by Jack Sparrow. Maybe someday I'll find out...I'm working on a time machine, after all, that goes to the fictional past. Or maybe I just need to find a graveyard...hmmm...
She was a slightly underdeveloped character, actually. Slightly. Which is why she had so little to say...the nun was much more fun. Of course, I totally rushed the whole night thing...but no matter. I'm going to put it up anyway so I can get back to doing my calculus. Evil muse told me to.
As always, thanks for the review and the support! Since you were the first to review...well, you get a nifty joystick!