Disclaimer: I do have permission...oh, wait, no. I don't have permission to be using Jack Sparrow. Or his likeness. Or his name.

AN (4/2): I really should be doing my calculus right now...but I'm not.

One Night Stands: Number Three

It was a very rainy day, the day I met Captain Jack Sparrow. I'll never forget it. I was busy trying to find shelter behind the town book shop (a horrid place I would never dream of entering) when that god among pirates burst through the back door, hurriedly stuffing some sort of book full of curses or something into a small sack he was carrying. He nearly tripped over me, actually, as a great commotion developed inside of the store. Obviously the infamous pirate hadn't payed for the book he'd pilfered.

Who could blame him? He was a pirate, after all, and pirates are supposed to steal for the stupid and fortunate people in this world that believe in ethics and moral behavior and the like. As he nearly tripped over me, he glanced down at me with a look of shock in his eyes. Surely he was thinking something along the lines of 'what could a beautiful woman like that be doing in the alleyway, hiding under the overhang of the roof?' right? I mean, it wasn't like I was as homely as the term homeless seems to mean. And I wasn't as stupid as common street riffraff. I had lived behind a boy's school for most of my life, until that bloody janitor had found me when he'd been finally doing some gardening work. Since I'd lived next to a school, I'd given myself a free education.

It hadn't help me find a job. Women had no hope of being anything other than prostitutes, governesses, or married in society. And, unfortunately, I couldn't bring myself to selling my body as long as I could scrounge up food and I wasn't from a good family so I couldn't be a governess. Or even an old person's companion. I had no hope of marriage...so, therefore, I was permanently a transient wanderer. There was no point in living in any specific place. Though, I was only behind the bookstore because I'd smelled a bakery down at the end of the street. Sometimes they would throw out bread. Or I could flirt with the baker and he'd give me bread. That didn't always work, though...generally men tried to take something from me I didn't want to give.

I wasn't about to tell Captain Jack Sparrow no, though. If he wanted me...well, I'd be more than happy to oblige him. I had a feeling he wouldn't care if I was all dirty and had ratty hair and looked absolutely hungry.

I was right. Once he'd managed to keep from falling over me, he'd asked me if I'd be willing to do him great favor. Of course I'd accepted! Half of the boys in the school I used to live behind had idol worshiped the sea he sailed on because of him. Everyone wanted to be like Captain Jack Sparrow. Women wanted the freedom he had...and the men wanted the adventure he had. Of course I'd agreed. He'd helped me to my feet and then had put the bag he'd been carrying underneath my dress. Obviously he was trying to convince them all that I was with child.

Which I found absolutely hilarious. Since it was raining, I looked fairly clean. And it would be mostly believable that I was a woman of mostly good breeding going into labor. So, he escorted me out of the alleyway. Women in the street looked at me anxiously and then back at Jack, as though urging him on as the book owner stepped out onto the sidewalk, trying to find a lone man carrying a sack that would be his book. He just got dripping wet...and gave up.

Jack escorted me to the edge of town, towards a midwife. Once we were nearly there, he had me hide in an alleyway next to a building and then had me take the bag out and hand it back to him. He thanked me...and looked like he was going to turn away and leave. So...I took the prerogative to kiss him. When would I ever get a chance to spend a night with him again, anyway? There were very few things I could look forward to in my bleak existence, and I was determined to have at least one memory I could look on fondly for the rest of my life until some horrible disease claimed me, or something.

The kiss really had surprised him. I don't think he'd been looking for a girl to make a conquest of...but since I'd made the first move, he was more than happy to oblige. Since it was raining, he took me to one of the nicest taverns in town and fed me before we spent a glorious night together.

When I woke up with no one beside me, I wasn't surprised. Humming cheerfully, I dressed...and found several gold doubloons inside the bodice. That would be able to feed me for several years. And I'd only use them if I absolutely had to.

Captain Jack Sparrow really was a gentleman pirate.

CrazyPirateGirl: She really was a lucky nun, wasn't she? Of the three I have so far...I like this new one the best, though. I actually believe in waiting until marriage, too. Which is why I really don't go into hardly any detail at all. Because that's just icky.
Of course Jack is a liar...he has a lot of women to seduce. Of course, he didn't like to this one. He was just nice. Go nice Jack! Thanks for the review!
Daisy: Thanks for reviewing anyway. -nod nod- Means a lot to me, really, it does. But I know you did an excellent job last night. Since you were a finalist, an' all. Good job! I'm really proud of you!
You are not hopeless at fanfics, Daisy. I enjoy your input, really, I do. I'm writing it like this for a reason, though. Because I don't want Jack to say anything to explain himself...I like this better. Besides, if he said things...these would be a lot longer. And this isn't really meant to be a serious story of mine...just some snatches of what the women in his life probably think... Thanks for the review! An' you really should try again...I was horrible the first few times I tried... And I am planning on being an author, remember, so it would make sense that I do a lot of writing...don't be discouraged!
Arien Belthil: It is like magic, isn't it? No...he's just a miserable liar. Hope that this was fast enough! And thanks for the review!
Geheimnis : Thank you! I try to keep him in character, even though he really is never here. Which is weird, if you think about it...but thanks for the review! You might be interested in checking out my other stories...they're more in depth. And One More Day is actually from Jack's perspective...that's why I can mostly keep him in character.
Raisin: Jack is incredibly suave and charming. Sometimes he'll use that and sometimes he won't. Like...well, I'm thinking of him wooing a common harlot in the next chapter. Of course, that'll break my pattern...tricksy Jack is up to something, if you haven't noticed.
She was a nun, after all, and she wasn't supposed to think of Jack as so suave...though, I would kill to be in her place any day of the week. Wow. Lucky nun.
She was really quick to come up with a lie...maybe she wasn't really a good nun... -giggles-
(reply to your reply to my reply)Yes...graveyard. Remember, in All Hallow's Eve, it's a graveyard where our nameless protagonist finds Jack? And then a graveyard she goes to to get back to his time? I would hate to see his headstone anywhere...
Math is evil. Calculus...well, it's the devil of math, really. Thanks for the long and entertaining review, as always!
Jack: Yep. Another one. With rapscallion. Fun word. Thanks for the review.
Since you were the first...you get a snazzy puzzle! In the shape of a butterfly.