Disclaimer: I don't have permission to be writing this.

AN(4/21): Well, I've finished my Excel assignment with about fifteen minutes to spare. Lucky you, I'm gonna write a bit. This will be finished tomorrow in technology, though.
Just so you know, I didn't die. And I won't be updating very often because the AP tests are in two weeks. And I have an internship next week. But, after that, I'll be able to update a lot. As long as I don't have writer's block.
(4/25): My internship is this week. AP crunch is this week. I'm dying. Had an emotional breakdown yesterday. But here's this one.

One Night Stands: Number Five

The sun was shining brilliantly the afternoon I saw Captain Jack Sparrow, that most infamous pirate, coming out of the candy shop. He was drop dead gorgeous, even though he did dress eccentrically. How could a girl like me resist him? Even though I was young enough to be his daughter (presumably based on the fact he'd been in the Caribbean for at least thirteen years he couldn't be twenty-five, like he looked), I couldn't resist those dark expressive eyes emphasized by kohl. The trinkets seemed to suit his personality. Jack clearly was a weird man. But he was a talented weird man that happened to know how to pleasure any kind of woman.

I don't think he saw me at first. Of course, that could be because the sun was in those eyes of his for a moment and he was slightly disoriented. And I wasn't all that tall. And I didn't stand out very much. I was just your average rich girl. My mother and father dressed me up like some sort of doll. I was their toy to show off to their rich friends when the occasion seemed right. I didn't like that. But it was nice, not having to worry about the future like Martha.

Martha was my maid, brought here by my mother when we moved to the Caribbean from England before I was born. My mother hadn't wanted her children to get corrupted by the natives. I thought that was poppycock, but at least we didn't own any slaves. Father didn't really like that practice and his job as the town Magistrate made it so he didn't have to have slaves.

Martha had been about four years old the year I was born. She was my confidant, even though some of the Harleton girls thought I shouldn't be associating with someone below my station who was Irish. I didn't care, frankly. Martha was my friend and I could talk to her about anything. Who cared if I was a little rebellious? I always performed like an admirable china doll whenever Father brought home potential suitors with large pouches hanging over their trousers.

It was disgusting, some of the rich man Father wanted me to marry. I was always very coy, though, because I knew I had a role to play. Mother hadn't had any children survive past the age of ten after me and my brother was off in England trying to find a wife…so, I had to represent the family. Such a hard task for a sixteen year old! I didn't like being that responsible. Anything I did in public was scrutinized, since Father had a cousin in England with a title of nobility who hadn't yet had any children and had no other kin. I didn't want a title of nobility…I wanted to spend my time with pirates.

When I was growing up, Martha and I used to play pirates all the time. Of course, she was generally the captain until Mother insisted I be more ladylike…then I took control and made her swab the decks. I didn't want to be a normal lady. That was boring. I'd had too much freedom as a child and I didn't want to give any of it up. Maybe that's why the story of Captain Jack Sparrow sacking Nassau without firing a shot was so interesting to me. It had happened when I was about five, I think. I remember that no one would talk of anything else…he was surely a genius!

Anyway, once he blinked a few times and adjusted to the sunlight, he caught sight of me. I must've looked frightfully beautiful, because I saw him glance at me at least five times. Mother had always said I was beautiful. I didn't believe her. But if it was going to get me noticed by Jack Sparrow…well, maybe I was beautiful.

As he was gawking at me, I smiled at him. He smirked back. That lopsided grin on his…wow. I've never seen anything like it and I doubt I'll ever see anything like it again. He must've spent years perfecting that. It was the sort of smile that could make any woman's heart jump. Mine seemed to jump right into my throat and it just wouldn't stop beating uncomfortably.

He probably would've just went on his merry way, if the "worst" hadn't happened. While I was trying not to drool over his smirk, he approached me and asked me what I thought were the best candies inside the store. I told him that chocolate was rather good, and he'd seemed rather pleased in his purchase, presumably. He thanked me and was just about to walk away when someone bumped against me. At the time, I had no idea what that had to do with anything, but apparently he'd noticed that someone had pick pocketed me, being an expert pick pocket himself. He'd told me to hold his bag of chocolates, which I did without a fuss, and he ran after the individual who'd stolen what little allowance Father let me have. I, of course, had been planning to spend it on some sort of candy. But it was my birthday, I felt as though I could make my own decisions. Soon I would have to be married and then my life would change forever…but now I could have a small taste of independence.

I watched him chase the waif down, feeling quite sorry for the hungry looking lad. It wasn't his fault he stole, surely! Yet…Jack seemed to think that I deserved to keep my money. As I disregarded his order for me to stay there and came nearer, I saw the little boy give Jack my money back after he-well, this is going to sound a bit silly-handed something to the little boy in return. I'm fairly sure it was a gold doubloon…but what did I know? After retrieving my money from the unfortunate wretch, he stood up and walked back to me with the most curious of swaggers, like any good knight would do after defending the honor of a lady.

I'd thanked him profusely and he'd told me I should probably keep that in a more personal place, so I'd notice when someone was trying to pick pocket me. Smiling, I'd done exactly what he'd probably been wanting me to do; I stuffed it down the bodice of my dress. He'd chuckled at me and turned to leave before I grabbed his arm and insisted he come to my house and have a cup of tea with me. Since my parents were out (which was the only reason I was out and about), I was reasonably sure we wouldn't be disturbed. He'd acquiesced to my request, since I threatened to steal his chocolate if he didn't come and then we went to my family's large manor, at the top of the hill.

Once inside, I'd taken him to the drawing room and went to go fetch Martha, to draw us some tea. Upon finding her, we giggled like school girls for a moment in the kitchen, sneaking peeks at Captain Sparrow as he sat in the drawing room, looking both disconcerted and completely at ease, all at the same time. Perhaps he realized we were watching. I'm not really sure, even now. But I was willing to share anything with Martha. She'd grown up with the same stories as I had, after all, and she thought he was absolutely handsome.

So, I invited her to tea too. Jack had seemed weirdly surprised to see Martha enter the room with me, since I was the one carrying the tray. Generally, gentry do not carry anything, and here I was, ready to serve my servant. It must've touched him as rather sweet, because we had quite an interesting conversation with that most infamous pirate.

After the tea was gone…well, we continued talking. I don't exactly know why, but about half an hour after the tea remnants had dried and solidified on the china cups, he kissed me. And then Martha. And me again. You know, I didn't mind sharing anything with Martha, and I doubt I ever will now. We were both infatuated.

And I was infuriated, when I woke up later that afternoon to the dogs barking, heralding the return of my parents, when I noticed Jack wasn't beside either of us. That…pirate! Of course, how could I stay angry for long? Those dreamy brown eyes…

sunkist3208: It is a lovely idea, isn't it? Of course, the last chapter will be...very funny, I'm thinking. Jack will get what...umm. Wait. I can't tell you. -zips lips-
Thanks for the review, Whitney! Fanfiction can be a bum sometimes. And thanks for the good smelling candle. Erica likes those.
Arien Belthil: Well, she was rather crazy. And he had been messing around with a common woman, after all. I think more power to her...
Not really, no. But it was cool, thatshe could be so calm after killing someone, right? At least she's not too much of a psychopath...
(reply to Number Three) Well, she doesn't want to waste the doubloons. She might as well hold on t' 'em until times are rough if she can handle living on the streets. Number Three was just...very self sufficient.
CrazyPirateGirl: If you think #4 was crazy, just wait...
Thanks for the t-shirt! I likes me t-shirts. Especially when they have Jack on 'em.
And that's exactly why the women in these stories have no name. Except for Martha. She has a name. And the last one, she'll have a name too.
(reply to Number Three) I'd like to think I'd be happy if he left me too...but I dunno what I'd think. I'd be sad that he was gone, probably. I mean, spending a night with Jack would be all fun and such...but what if you never got to see him again? Depressing thought. The worst one will be...very interesting. She's a certifiable nutcase. And it'll be a blast to write. But probably hard to read, since her mind will wander even more than Jack's does.
Jack: Tis always more fun to think of something else in school, isn't it? I know I enjoy that. Good dat. Anyway, thanks for the review!
(reply to Number Three) Woot! The third disk...I actually got that for my birthday. But two is just as good as one!
Johnny'shumiliatedgrape: School an' I don't really get along at the moment. But I wanna wish you well, with your testing next week. -nods- Because I know I won't be able to update again until after the AP tests. But look at it this way...after those blasted things, I'll have a ton more free time at school and at home an' I'll be updating regularly again. And I might write this cool story kinda like "Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead" with Murtogg and Mulroy.
Ummm...don't take my word on that, though. First I've gotta survive the AP tests. And my internship. But it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. So that's all good.
I would definitely say that Number 4 was a bit...on the loony side. You should've seen me yesterday, though. I didn't kill anyone, but I had a breakdown in church. Not that you needed to know that...And 4 isn't the looniest one you'll see, either.
I'm amused that you told your mom. I was embarrassed enough to read these to my friends... But read them I did. And they enjoyed them. Especially Number Four. There's something about reading out loud that makes it different, though. But I'm glad she liked the idea. And thank you thank you thank you for such entertaining reviews! They seriously lift up my crappy days. Make 'em less gray.
And...well, Number Four will probably be caught. Maybe she was telling her story to one of the guards. Never know...
And Johnny is shorter in person. I'm taller than he is. Depressing, isn't it?
(reply toNumber Three) Well, I don't know what Jack would do if a woman saidno, frankly. Actually...yes I do. He'd do what he did with Elizabeth...he'd leave her alone. Jack isn't a rapist. He's just a DonJuan DeMarco.
And it isn't very often you canbelieve what you read. Rest assured, I do a lot of research.Like for my snazzy next chapter of A Taste of Misery: ADecade of Torment, I've done a lot of research. For half of it. But it does explain something... And I have a great idea to explain something else. But it'll have to wait until after theAP tests an' my internship.
Thank you so much! -snuggles-
Daisy: Dunno which college to tell you to enroll in, Daisy. Unfortunately, I'm not an expert at everything. You should go to the one that seems to care the most about its students, has the best pre-vet program, and the campus feels like home.
Thanks for the review. An' I love Chicago. Had to throw it in sometime. -nod-
I really do appreciate you leaving a review, even if you think its pointless...I'm really quite insecure. Shocking, but true.
(reply to Number Three) That is a rather odd statistic, the major of people going into vet programs being English, generally. I think it'd be really cool if you were a singing vet to killer whales! I'd come and visit you. -nods- To see you at work. 'Cause that'd be wicked awesome.
All the way when you're a senior in college? Why so long? Though I understand how hard it is to write without inspiration, I don't think you should set it aside so easily...
The lady of the shadows :Sorry it took me so long...but thank you for the encouragement and the reviews!
Missy Mouse : There always could be pirates behind your bookstore...have you checked recently? I liked #3...she was sweet. And didn't kill anyone. Or share Jack. Both situations I find rather disturbing...but thanks for the review: