Chapter 10 "Reflections"

Teresa stood over her son's crib, one hand on her belly and the other stroking Mathieu's downy blond hair as she tried to come to terms with her feelings. Part of her was elated that Mathieu would soon have a brother or sister because she'd grown up in a loving home and she hadn't wanted her son to be a "lonely only". She recalled how happy she'd been when she'd realized she was pregnant for the first time and a slight smile played across her lips.

She'd loved being pregnant. Every new discovery had delighted her and it had been so hard to deal with Ethan's complete indifference to the miracle that was growing inside her. But she'd born his anger and resentment in stoic silence because she hoped he would come around one day. After all Mathieu was his flesh and blood how could his father not love him?

"You were wrong though weren't you? Ethan never wanted Mathieu and he made his feelings perfectly clear didn't he?" her conscience reminded her.

Tears seeped from her eyes as she recalled Ethan's harsh words and how deeply his indifference to the child she loved so much had wounded her. Her own childhood had been so idyllic and her parents had never given her any reason to doubt their love and devotion to her and her brothers. She so badly wanted her children to know that stability but it seemed as if that were a pipe dream.

"Stop it Teresa stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your marriage to Ethan might not have been everything you wanted it to be but he gave you Mathieu so I'd say you got the better part of the bargain. And now you have this new baby to think about so get a hold of yourself," she whispered resolutely.

She wanted this baby; there was no doubt about that in her mind. Mathieu had been born of the love she had felt for Ethan and this new baby had been conceived of the passion she felt for Fox. She wanted this child as much as she wanted its father.

But she wasn't a fool and she knew that things were only going to get worse before they got better. And thoughts of what lay ahead made her stomach churn. How exactly was she going to tell Fox that he was going to be a father when he didn't even know that they had slept together?

Fox walked into the two-story Spanish style house with a spring in his steps. The lawn was littered with toys and there was a big gaping hole where Chelsea's prize roses had been planted a few hours ago.

"Bongo strikes again," he thought with a shake of his head. Chelsea had threatened to drown the dog the next time he pulled up her garden but he knew she loved the dog as much as he and the kids did. A smile lit his face as he thought about his boys. Justin and Shane were his pride and joy. They were rambunctious little boys with his fair hair and their mother's golden eyes and though they resembled archangels Chelsea was fond of calling them her "little devils".

"Daddy, Shane doesn't want to let me play with his legos," a four-year-old Justin pouted. Fox laughed and stroked his son's fine blond hair.

"Because he doesn't want to help me built my castle. How can we play 'Knights' without a castle?" Shane replied in the aggrieved tones of an older brother.

Fox struggled to remain composed and not by a flicker of an eyelash did he reveal the laughter that threatened to escape at any second.

"Shane, why don't you let Justin build whatever he wants while you continue to built your castle and then you can play 'Knights'." he told his oldest son and Shane nodded taking his brother's hand and half pulling and half dragging him back to the room they shared.

"Great job, Daddy," a feminine voice whispered behind him.

Fox looked at his wife of eight years and smiled. She was even more beautiful now than she had been the day he'd married her. Just looking at him made him ache.

"Have I told you how much I love you today Mrs. Crane?" he asked her as he pressed a soft kiss on her luscious mouth.

"Yes you have Mr. Crane but I don't mind hearing it again," she replied twining her arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.

"I love you so much, Teresa," he murmured.

A startled Fox jerked out of the deep sleep that had claimed him and ran a hand through his tousled hair. The dream he'd had felt so damn real he could almost hear Justin and Shane's laughter echoed in the room.

"What the hell's the matter with me? Why was it Teresa's face I saw when it was Chelsea I was dreaming of?" he asked himself.

Glancing at the clock on his bedside table he saw that it was almost dawn and so he decided against trying to get back to sleep and made his way to the adjoining bathroom. A warm shower was exactly what he needed. Sleepily stripping off the boxers he wore he was about to step into the shower when he saw the small pink and white box stuffed into the wastebasket.

"First Response," he read with shock as he realized that what he was holding in his hands was a pregnancy test.

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