The Intruder


{Jag's POV}

I saw her first at my home. She was holding a sobbing Cherith, but her own eyes were blank. At the time, I hadn't realized who she was – I thought she was just one of Cherith's many friends, trying to give some flimsy excuse of support. I didn't care, then. I hated her on principle, hated that she was here, during a time of private, family grief.

I glared at her as I walked past, but she barely seemed to notice. Though the 'Intruder' murmured comforting nothings to my sister, patted her shoulder, and let Cherith soak her shirt with tears, the 'intruder' just stared at nothing, appearing to be moving automatically. It didn't occur to me that she might be grieving for Davin – I just saw her blankness as another insult. She couldn't even pay any real attention to her friend, I thought.

That night, I punched through a glass window. To this day, I don't know if I was really aware of it; I only remember being so angry with my older brother, my idol, for dying, for leaving me, that I struck out. My mother walked in and saw me staring at my bloody arm. She broke down in tears again, because she knew why I had done what I had. The girl appeared again, then, and glared at me. Now I know it was because in her own grief she hadn't the patience to see me hurt my mother, but then her derisive look fanned my hatred. Her distant brandy eyes were judging me, shaming me. She was probably mad because I woke her up, I thought crossly.

I was blind to how she soothed my poor, broken mother, who was usually so strong, and how she supported my mother to her room. I ignored the way the two embraced, but if a stranger had walked by, they probably would have mistaken the two for a mother and daughter saying goodnight.

Another reason to hate the then-anonymous intruder.

When my mother was sleeping once more, the girl grabbed me by the arm and dragged me down to the kitchen, where she crisply bandaged my wound. The silence between us was cold, our distaste for the other heightening the tension to almost unbearable levels. Still, when she looked at me with her empty eyes, I thought I saw a spark of empathy.

I hated her for being able to sympathize with my pain although my hatred was probably obvious even to the rocks in my mother's garden.

The next morning was Davin's funeral and I was a basket case. I locked myself in my room, swearing viciously at anyone and everyone, refusing to go the funeral. Logically, I knew Davin was gone, but I didn't want to face it – couldn't face it. Though my father pounded on my door and demanded that I come in a broken voice that I had never heard him use before, though my mother pleaded, and though the cold voice of the intruder told me that if I didn't come out she would fry my 'cowardly, fair-haired, stubborn ass, Chiss-wannabe brains', I defied reason for once in my life.

I couldn't go to the funeral – if I did, I would break down.

Finally they left, though I had a large, blackened hole in my door from when the intruder took her blaster to my door. My father stopped her (though he only seemed to be doing it because it was the 'right' thing to do) before she got in, however.

I can't explain what I did during the two-hour period that I spent locked up in my room. I think I threw things (with the 'Intruder' as my imagined target), I probably argued with my brother as if he were still there, and more than likely I screamed at myself for being unable to save Davin.

The only thing I remember clearly is that I broke into Davin's room. I went over his things, looked at the old holos that cluttered the room, studied the unfinished homework piled on his desk. A datapad came to my attention and I picked it up. A quick scan identified it as a letter and, looking over my shoulder as if expecting my brother to burst in, demanding that I explain what I was doing, I read it.

It was addressed to 'Jay', a familiar enough name. Davin had had scores of friends, but his closest friend, he had claimed, was a New Republic girl named Jaina Solo. The two had met through some mishap several years back. Something to do with Davin stowing away on a ship and almost being thrown into jail. I hadn't met the girl myself, as my schooling and piloting kept me away from home often. I recall noticing that Davin's face would always get soft and content whenever he brought up 'his' Jaina. I hated and loved her, for that. Hated her for taking up such a special place in my brother's heart, as if we were competing for the biggest chunk of Davin's heart. Loved her for making him so happy, for – probably – giving him the love that no one else could offer him.

The letter's topics ranged from asking if she was okay, to how her family was dealing with the war, to talk about some guy named Zekk, and planning their next meeting. A yearning to be there with her, helping her fight against "those kriffing 'Vong" was expressed a couple times. The concluding paragraph became more personal, however, and I put the data card down, a little ashamed of my nosiness.

The sound of a speeder motor broke into my thoughts, and I didn't have to look outside to know that my family was returning from the funeral. The urge to run, to hide from them and friends' pitying expressions filled me, and I retreated out the backdoor before anyone even opened the front door.

I wandered about the grounds until I found myself at the clearing where they had buried my brother. I hadn't wanted to see the grave, hadn't wanted anything to do with it, but my feet were guided by something other than my conscious, rational mind.

I stopped abruptly while I was still amongst the trees. The reason for my halt was not hesitance to see Davin's grave, but from the sight that met my bewildered eyes.

In a sobbing heap by my brother's tombstone, the 'intruder' had broken out of her numbness.

I don't know how long I stood there, watching her cry in a way that I could not. When at last her weeping eased, she wiped her eyes and stilled. "You can come out, you know," she whispered, causing me to start. I hadn't known that my presence had been noticed.

When I didn't answer, she shifted, so that she was looking at me. "I was just…I needed to say my goodbye privately, I guess." Her voice was hoarse from crying. She slanted away from me, her fingers reaching up to trace the characters on the tombstone. I wanted to blast her fingers for that; Davin was my brother – why should a stranger be able to grieve when I couldn't?

"Why are you here?" I demanded, stepping into the clearing. "You're not from the Chiss colony." I realized it only now.

She shook her head and smiled crookedly; there was more bleakness than humour in the gesture. "Dav and I…we were very close." She straightened suddenly, her eyes catching mine hesitantly. "He talked about you lots. He liked you best of his siblings, you know."

I knew; I hated that she did, too. "Who are you?"

"Jaina." She looked away from me; now, I know that she was hiding a new set of tears. "Dav – Dav called me 'Jay', though. You'd know me by that name."

I froze as everything suddenly made sense. Thrawn's teeth. So this…this was Davin's best friend. This was the girl he'd fallen in love with, if the last bit of that kriffing letter was any indication. And I had hated her for the spark of empathy she felt for me.

"I apologize, Miss, I – I didn't realize…" I stuttered awkwardly. We had never met before this.

We should have.

She smiled wanly. "Yeah, well. You were never home, were you?" Was there bitterness in her tone? To this day, I don't know for sure.

"I guess not."

She stood, retreating behind her mask of impassiveness once more. Her eyes lingered a long moment on Davin's grave, her fist clenched, and I knew that her grieving, while hidden, would not be over for a long time. "I should go. Let you say good-bye; he was your brother, after all." She turned slowly, heading back for the house.

"Wait!"

She paused, but did not look at me. "Yes?"

I swallowed. "When are you leaving?"

"I have to be back for a mission in a few days. I'll need to leave right away to be there on time."

I nodded, looking from Davin's grave, to his best friend. He loved you! Do you know that? I wanted to ask her. I didn't. "There's a letter for you, on Davin's desk," I offered instead. "I think it's finished – I didn't really read it." At least, not all of it, I amended silently. "He'd want you to have it."

"Thank you." The words were quiet, but she looked over her shoulder once, and I almost drowned in the gratitude that filled her eyes. "I'll be sure to…pick it up." She left then; perhaps she understood that while she was there – the very girl that I had practically competed with for my brother's love and attention – I could never grieve for Davin.

When I returned, she was gone, and so was the letter.

She left a card with the words "Thank you" on my pillow.

Finally, I cried.

Replies to Reviews :D:

Garnet Turner – thanks :D hopefully I'll be posting pretty regularly…I have a few of these written already, so I just need to space 'em out and then post them :)

Jaina – I know :( I'm so mean…originally I was going to start just with this 'viggie' (The Intruder), but then I thought I should introduce dav properly. Unfortunately, that means I had to break a few hearts, especially on JC :| :P

~TJF