alone;

disclaimer: I own NOTHING. I only will own a fucking llama, albeit that fucking llama lets me own it. But unfortunately, no stinky llama lets me own it, so yeah – I own nothing.

recap:

"Stop, Hermione!" Harry and Ron commanded, but she couldn't hear.

Hermione was now trapped, trapped in her own darkness, and refusing to see the light.

Hermione was now, by what others could see, mentally deranged.

# chapter four

Hermione started into the blank space, staring at the boundless sky aboard the Hogwarts Express. Ron and Harry were worried for her, and although they now knew her vehement loathing for males, they could not help but to sneak glances at her to check if she was alright.

Hermione's eyes had lost that spark, that spark that had enthralled them so much – it was a part of her, along with her trademark bushy hair and intelligence. Something had happened to Hermione over the holidays, and she was keeping mum about it, as though it was a deep, terrifying secret that would threaten to rip her apart.

Which it was. A deep, terrifying secret that Hermione was afraid that others would find out. Even though Hermione wanted to hide away from it and act as though everything was okay, subconsciously she had grown to hate males – hating their every touch, their voice and such.

And even her very own best friends Ron and Harry.

However, deep inside her – Hermione was struggling.

Oh what the fuck, yes! She was struggling.

Struggling to guard the secret, struggling to act as though nothing was happening.

Difficult, yes – but the clogs in Hermione's intricate mind started to turn, that fabulous mind that would put any male chauvinist pig who was determined that girls are intellectually worse then them to shame. Should she or not? This emotional beating down was taking a freaking toll on her.

And yes, she hated it.

Then she felt Ron and Harry's eyes on her. It made her feel weird. Was something on? Why were they sneaking glances between them at her? Were they looking at her because…?

She felt cheap. She couldn't help it. After the incident, she just felt cheap. And dark and suicidal. She looked up at the sky.

The clear, boundless sky. That was so beautiful. Her train of thoughts bustled by, trying to force that fucking scenario out of her head. She hated it, she hated it so much! It kept reminding her of that fifteen minutes of terror and pure shame.

The feelings that she felt could not be described by mere words. If you asked her to write it out, she could probably write a whole 5 foot of parchment, and even more – words that were just floating around in her mind.

She could just choke, overflowing with tears.

Her special first.

Just as she was hell bent on forcing the scenario out of her head and focus, somebody had to bring her from her heaven of daydreams to the pits of hell – reality.

Guess who.

The most fucked up man-whore you could ever lay your eyes upon.

Draco.

Draco Serpentine Malfoy.

"Hurry up, you freaking mudblood. In case you didn't see the letter that was sent to you over the holidays, you were supposed to patrol with me. Not that I want to associate myself with you filthy mudbloods anyway…"

slap.

On Draco's face, that beautiful, perfect face – started to have a red, swollen palm mark, courtesy of Hermione.

"Don't. Remind. Me. Of. The. Holidays." Hermione said, through gritted teeth and eyes welling up with tears, before wiping them on her sleeve of her robe, and running out of the compartment.

While Draco Malfoy stood there, with death glares from Harry and Ron, rubbing his cheek and smiling, correction – smirking, as though a sinister plan had played through in his mind.

;triple hearts

author's notes: thanks for all your reviews! I love them all – with the exception of Franz Kafka, who I suggest read what I have to say to your "review" – at the end of the fic.

x--- . General stuff ;
yeah – as pointed out by my "counselor" quan chek kai – pregnancy lasts for 9 months and not the ten I have written, and wings are wretched not wrenched. Sorry for any misunderstandings, yeah?

tHe-EvIl-BaStArD: heh, thanks chek kai! You are such a lovely writer, aw! I knew you were an horny asshole, but yeah! Thanks for saying it's quite good. Coming from our class' top English student – I'll consider this a compliment!

NO such things as HAPPY songs: Yes, I have updated (: I have been trying hard to update, but my results for English were just…simply depressing. But thanks for your support, you totally rock my fanfiction writing world!

davinong: hey davin! Yeah, chek kai's getting quite pissed – but thanks for reviewing! And such nice reviews too, contrary to what you wrote for him :D My English is not that fabulous, I still need to get what are the meanings of the words chek kai writes…

midnightwanderer01: You totally rock my fanfiction writing world too! My updates come…when I am really down or something, so yeah. I will try to improve hard to let my fics to be more enjoyable, I promise!

Franz Karfka: I would consider your review a flame, as it holds no constructive criticism and your command of English is absolute deplorable – you spelt your words wrongly. I strongly suggest a dictionary is in order. And my story sucks? Well, you could give me on some criticism on why it sucks and I will try to improve. Simply telling me it sucks doesn't make me a fabulous writer, or going to make me delete the story. Oh, I have never mentioned I want to be Hermione, and do NOT call me a shameless "suethor" or whatever it is (I seriously suspect it is something wrong with your spelling) because – if you are the one who wants to be like Hermione and is jealous, I suggest you screw a toilet bowl. You are not JK.Rowling and you are not fit to pass such comments, seeing that you have not written fics yourself. This is a FIC, hello? Anything can happen. And yes, who are you to pass judgement if we want to be Hermione or not? Because I certainly don't. And for your opinion – I think Draco's hot and you are in NO position to banish my romantic fantasies, okay? Do you mean you are Hermione or Ginny in that position to say?

And also, if you would like to think my fic is one of the worst crap has to offer, think what you want. Because in my opinion, you are one of the worst scum that ever walked the Earth. So, screw you.

-------------------------------------

author's side notes :

I would like to say I am not that vulgar in real life, but it has really pissed me off that somebody jumped into a conclusion saying that Draco is a yellow-bellied bully. Aw, that person must be jealous of Draco, that filthy scum of sodding shit.

Please review! (: and only constructive criticism will be appreciated as well as genuine well wishing reviews, not like some toilet-fucker that as came to dirty the name of "flamers".